Out of Time, Chapter 4

[Ellen Kuhfeld]

Unless the shrink is a sadistic prick, or apathetic and interested in prodding a particularly unique test subject, this angle doesn't make sense. It's guaranteed to put Ranma further and further out of sync with the rest of humanity, most (if not all) of which identifies strongly along gender lines. I cannot imagine how this could possibly be good for his mental health.. though I suppose it could keep the paychecks rolling in for the shrink.

Unfortunately, shrinks specializing in gender, from the never-to-be-sufficiently-cursed John Money on, have had a GREAT time performing experiments on gender nonconformists. The shrinks at the University of Minnesota did all kinds of unethical things in the 1990s, to a number of my friends.

Which is just to say, this particular specialization silts up with sadistic pricks. But they think they're scholars.

[Alathon]

Unfortunately, shrinks specializing in gender, from the never-to-be-sufficiently-cursed John Money on, have had a GREAT time performing experiments on gender nonconformists. The shrinks at the University of Minnesota did all kinds of unethical things in the 1990s, to a number of my friends.

Which is just to say, this particular specialization silts up with sadistic pricks. But they think they're scholars.

Hmm.. that wasn't something I was aware of. Bearing in mind that such a scenario is less improbable than I'd thought, I'm less concerned about that part of the story... since I don't know which way Tri is going with it. I guess I should just say that, as I'm reading it now, it doesn't look like Dr. Okamoto is acting with Ranma's best interests in mind. Whether that's good or not depends on the direction of that particular subplot.

[Alathon]

I agree with nodregah in defense of the author. I think that the subject of crowded train cars had already been brought up, highlighting Ranma's non familiarity with the teeming masses that frequent the public transportation system in Tokyo. He probably rode on the roof or undercarriage.
Ranma ought to learn to shoot ki from any part of his or her body. The right ki entering a groper's hand should carbonize some skin, at least. How about branding the back of the groper's hand with the kanji for chikan?
Wes

Even if we make the very large assumption that Ranma has never been in a tightly packed crowd, and has never learned anything about fighting in very tight quarters, the scene doesn't make sense. It's not believable that he'd choose to hold onto the bags and suffer someone fingering him. Further, it's not believable that he couldn't find some other solution. Just standing there and taking it is bogus.

[Tovath]

Even if we make the very large assumption that Ranma has never been in a tightly packed crowd, and has never learned anything about fighting in very tight quarters, the scene doesn't make sense. It's not believable that he'd choose to hold onto the bags and suffer someone fingering him. Further, it's not believable that he couldn't find some other solution. Just standing there and taking it is bogus.

Yeah if nothing else Ranma could kick the groper by using the guys arm to guide her to the right person

[borgrabbit]

Okay, okay! Ranma could have released one bag and followed the groper's fingers back to his/her body and done Amaguriken finger stabs to mark them and returned to holding the bag before it fell more than a couple inches. Regarding the shrink, I'll wait for Trimatter to weigh in. The dialog so far doesn't give me a feeling other than that all parties are trying to deal with something with little precedent.

I wanna see Ranma interacting with arm slaves!
Wes

[Spokavriel]

I havn't read what others caught. But it's easier to just do my full list instead of trying to avoid repeating others.

I've live my whole life at the dojo.

lived

Akane asked, switching to a low voice as not to be heard.

Lowering her voice to avoid being overheard.[/quote]

"He has even agreed to see the doctor."

[color=#bd527b] You started the last spoken sentence with He has. It works better without the has anyway.

"Oh... sorry pop,

You ended with a comma shouldn't it be a perriod? Also he ended up apologizing once in the drive already so I'd think again would fit.

Genma had return, as promised, within the hour.

Returned.

Upon entering, Ranma quickly cross the small distance between the front and the living/kitchen area, he set the heavy boxes on the already cluttered counter and looked around.

Crossed. Maybe I shouldn't have taken the whole sentence this time

she add, noting the water on the floor.

She added

"I won't," a much claimer Ranma replied.

calmer

, careful minding where Tomo was,

Carefully

"I can stash all sorts of stuff away."


"Sounds handy," Nodoka commented.


"It is."


"I don't really understand, but is sounds wonderful,"

Were you going for an awkward moment? I mean I could see Nodoka's statement if there were something more descriptive in Ranma's reply about it being useful but as it is well if you were going for Awkward you nailed it.

protect them from its brightness. In spite of the sun's brightness,

Changing one of the brightness's to how bright it was would take out the repeat.

Ranma found himself soon emerged from the natural greenery and into a residential area populated with single family houses.

I think himself should be he.

"I can't believe that there isn't any food - hello," he suddenly said

You used itallics here so did he really say it or just think it?

Tipping the thin, plastic bowel,

While I think that is a fitting description for Pork Rinds I think you meant bowl.[/color]

she began, flicking her pigtail behind her shoulder, can you tell me where you have the frozen pork buns?"

Lost a quote mark.

Ranma waaited patiently in line before paying for them. Exiting the store carrying two full bags of food, she looked up at the now grayish sky.

waited and Exitting

Maneuvering around the crowded bus stand, she manage find and study an oversize map of the area with the but routes drawn out on it.

managed and I know it can go either way but I personaly prefer oversized

There were a few people her age in school uniforms mulling about, men in three piece suits and more than a few professionally dressed women.

I always thought of mulling as either seasoning or thinking with milling being more active.

On the bus another timing word when the front door opens wouldn't hurt. My suggestion is to use then.

Ranma answered sharply while setting his chopsticks down and immediately regretted taking that toe with his mother.

tone

"Ranma, I know you fairly well, and I can that you are bothered by what happened."

Left out a tell.

Nodoka opened her mouth of voice something

to

he was not inclined to get something a bit more plainer so he made do.

more plain. And you could use a comma after plain.

there were no magazines to past the time like there were in every other waiting room that he'd been in.

pass

"Pleased to met you,"

Meet or have mett You also used met earlier talking to Nodoka but this was a shorter sentence to copy

I don't wish to treat you differently that everyone else.

than

The meeting with the school's headmistress and Ranma's teacher went off without too much problems.

Too much trouble or too many problems.

The met thing where it should be meet is chronic. Going through with Find and tracking them down seeing which need another e wouldn't hurt.

The exchange was lost on the male attendant as he began to wrap and bad the Ranma's new uniforms.

bag instead of bad.

The first thing that she notice was...

noticed

"You have to do something when you can change into a giant panda... and cloths are expensive."

clothes

"Yeah, that will give me more than enough time to change back with tearing up my new uniform,"

without

he thought for the umpteenth time as he looked at the buildings in the near-distant.

distance

Satisfied that he was sufficient warmed up,

sufficiently

I was trying that thing with my ki again and it... er, sorta backfire... a little.

backfired

Ranma was relieve of that decision by his father opening his eyes

relieved

Well those are the typos I spotted. As to the story it's self I like how it is so far and I hope you can work some other people from Nerima into the Teaching Staff. I mean Miss Hinako was already a teacher and who's to say old palls from Furinkin either of Ranmas or Akanes aquaintence might not have joined the profession. One thing that would be fun but frightening is if Asuza of all people was there. But that's for you to decide. Just imagine the students reactions if they find out their new classmate was once in classes with their teachers. Well it could be fun but that is your call.

Now to see what others comments remind me of for further comment. Yep allot of similar catches but I think I got some unique ones. Wow Alaton wrote a book.

The groper scene. Unless you make it so they discover that the Groper in question was Happosai using an invisibility technique some time in the future I don't see how patrons of the bus would have avoided keeping an eye out for someone who clearly already got bothered. I know in that big of a crowd it's easy to find people who are indifferent but it isn't the subway. Usualy people on a bus are afraid that if someone gets too rambunctous it they could manage to topple it. I've seen 10 year olds manage to get a carriage swaying enough to panic people before.

Holding onto the bag was because of a worry about breaking the contents. I can actualy accept all of Ranma's part in it when you look at the potential bystanders who could have been hurt by any greater reaction.

I'll have to reread because I am not seeing anything beyond acceptance of both in place of the Man amongst men thing and what appears to be a natural reaction to that after having been locked for months. There are people who have strong gender identities and people who don't it's not inhuman to not have one or even lose it.

I didn't see any assumption of being emotionaly capable. I did see a well illustrated habbit on Ranma's part to be more comfortable expressing emotions when female and if you read the Manga or watch the series it does fit well with all the "Weak Girl" crap canon Genma was constantly spouting. If anything it's just a release from Genma's conditioning. More clearly describing it Ranma is a girl and has had people accept her as one so the "Don't be such a girl" mental echo roadblock has less sting.

but your Ranma acted like someone who never encountered it.

The closest I have seen in this story that Ranma has ever encountered is the Women only car on the subway. Don't forget the last time he was likely to be on a bus was over 22 years before this.

Probably, but to not even have any idea about how to fight in these conditions looks like major oversight for martial artist of Ranma's caliber. You can say anything you want about Genma but he knows how to train someone.

Genma was training Ranma 22 years ago. Don't forget the times. An oversite of fighting on a bus from a martial artist who didn't even believe in vehicles enough to learn how to drive before Ranma was lost isn't that big of a surprise.

I was in mental institutions for all of the 1990's and some of those "sadistic pricks" were in constant communication with some of the facilities I got to tour. The shrink in this story seems to be portraied correctly when I think of some of the "Doctors" that were more profetional around me.

Getting to the panties on the Groper scene much less inside them is a bit much. Touching that area from the outside of the clothes is bad enough and even Happosai wouldn't have gone further except in collecting his "Silky Darlings"

Leaving in my typos these comments are moving a bit quick for cleaning them all up.

[WG_Writer]

I think the same psychological damage could be done with Ranma catching the bugger as could be done without him doing it, the only difference is the sense of vindication afterwards. I think Tri is trying to force Ranma to recognize he is not invulnerable to modern times. But I agree in part to the comments on the shrink.

The best fic where a shrink is involved with Ranma I think is couch trips (love it or hate it) it has Ranma deal with his curse early on in a way that I feel is very close to Canon Ranma.

I do think Tri has too much presence of a gender problem and too much of his shunting emotional burdens on to his girl side. But any emotional expressiveness and exclusiveness in canon could be taken as social norm pressures.

I do agree that Ranma is an emotional idiot, but is not as unsocial as fanon belies. Despite Furinkan and his uniform or there lack of, when he went to junior high he did wear a uniform. so that shows he was somewhat conformist back then. Although during the manga he was a tad anti-social (an ironic term imo) he did still show emotional expressiveness, or the ability to fake emotional expressiveness for a typical teenage <blank> in most situations.


But to be fair, dealing with this situation would be hard at best. To be socially correct the shrink would actually have to try to bring girl Ranma closer to boy Ranma because a girl can be socially accepted in public with the emotional expressiveness of a guy (tomboy). But guys with the social expressiveness of girls tend to be the type who get help to be more socially acceptable.

It is true Ranma tends to keep too much to himself, and that would need to be addressed, but treating him as two people would be dangerous as it might end up spawning more then just the two personas. Ranma already has two, the doctor is trying to correct this, just the wrong way.

Once again Couch Trips is imo the best Ranma sees a shrink fic and that shrink's methods would likely help here... within reason here.

[Spokavriel]

One last comment from me about the "Groper" scene. I made it clear I think it goes to far. But really that scene comes all the way to the point of there being an invisible rapist. Given how paralyzed Ranma was because of others that could have gotten hurt that guy was moments from penetration. Being grabbed down there at all is bad enough and can justify Ranmas reaction without being that close to rape.

Hopefully now that I typed this I will be able to get to sleep. It disturbed allot.

[Alathon]

One last comment from me about the "Groper" scene. I made it clear I think it goes to far. But really that scene comes all the way to the point of there being an invisible rapist. Given how paralyzed Ranma was because of others that could have gotten hurt that guy was moments from penetration. Being grabbed down there at all is bad enough and can justify Ranmas reaction without being that close to rape.

Hopefully now that I typed this I will be able to get to sleep. It disturbed allot.

"That guy?" I'm 95% sure it was the woman standing behind him. Just saying ;p

[Dumbledork]

I'm pretty sure it would be more disturbing for Ranma if she found out that the groper was a woman. After all, she was 'conditioned' by Akane to think that only males were perverts (and I wouldn't be surprised if Ranma had 'omitted' to mention stuff like that to the psychiatrist).

[Spokavriel]

This tale already has something pretty definitive set up to cure Ranma of the only guys are perverts conditioning from Akane. Getting to change for gym with the Gender Issue students. I would have typed guy/girl if I hadn't just been trying to get that off my chest so I could achieve sleep. It did work BTW.

[khim]

The closest I have seen in this story that Ranma has ever encountered is the Women only car on the subway. Don't forget the last time he was likely to be on a bus was over 22 years before this.

22 years were not spent in monastery - for Ranma it was few months ago, not 22 years ago. Not enough time to forget basics. Groper itself can be new experience for Ranma, but not crowds and buses: he lived in Japan before "dagger incident" happened, not in some hole in the ground...

Genma was training Ranma 22 years ago. Don't forget the times. An oversite of fighting on a bus from a martial artist who didn't even believe in vehicles enough to learn how to drive before Ranma was lost isn't that big of a surprise.

Argh. Again: US != Japan. It's perfectly normal for Japanese citizen (not just Genma) not to know how to drive. Have you ever flown on Boeing ? Do you know how to drive one ? The principle is the same: you can reach any part of country on train and bus and it's totally abnormal to have a Japanese person who don't know how to use train and/or bus, but to actually drive a thing... there are professionals who are doing this! For second half of 20th century at least. And if you'll try to move Ranma ½ story to the beginning of the century you'll be forced to deal with military and World War II...

[Spokavriel]

Knowing how to use a bus is not the same as being experienced enough to train someone in handling dangers associated with it.

There is no point in this story until that trip back to the apartment where Ranma is shown on a bus. For Ranma and Genma (Considering Genma's aversion to paying) Riding on top of vehicles and walking makes allot of sense.

You are good at jumping to extremes. All I was trying to say is that it looks like an easy oversight considering the 80's were tamer along those lines and Saotome branch of Anything Goes being the more air based combat branch of the school I could see it getting completely ignored. More likely expecting the Tendo branch to cover and innovate more close range grappling styles.

[Climhazard]

More likely expecting the Tendo branch to cover and innovate more close range grappling styles.

Ranma have tons of battles in air AND ground with superhumans and you want to say that he can't find a way to stop a hand that belong to normal human? Sound pretty unbelievable...

PS. And nothing in manga diretly suggest that Tendo bransh focus on ground attacks. This is only a fanon theory.

[Spokavriel]

How many of those fights had 'Innocent' Bystanders nearer than arms reach for the entire duration of the possible fight?