Death Reborn Evolution Ch 10

[Crescent Pulsar R]

I don't think there'd be much (if anything) wrong with keeping Mercury's statement as it is. I only brought it to your attention in case you're the sort who prefers to avoid the anal-retentive reviewers at all costs. ;p Given that you're mixing canons, it's my opinion that you can pick and choose.

I think the summary of what you were trying to tell me (past the first point, that is):

"Stop writing at 3 in the morning after 11 hour study days. It will grammar better."

Not really. It seems like a lot, but it really isn't. Overall your writing was more than presentable.

So says the high school dropout who doesn't have an English major.

[Shanami]

Fair enough. I was going to make a note at end of the chapter that I am mixing the canon as well as explaining where I'm getting the link attacks from. I thought that would head off anyone complaining about it anyway. I figured that if I didn't, people would yell at me for breaking canon too much since I really doubt that the majority of people on ff.net ever played the video game.

And, while the writing may be presentable, I think the point still stands. After 11 hour study days, my brain is le mush and it cries out as it slowly starts to resemble the consistency of potato salad.

I'll finish editing the chapter tonight and get it posted up then. Thanks so much to everyone who bothered to help me make it workable. I'll eventually get around to continuing this, but I've got boards in 3 weeks and that may be the scariest and most important exam of my life...

[Spokavriel]

Due to cerebrum liquefaction errors is there any chance of re-posting the updated chapter here one more day before posting it to ff.net After all none of us are perfect at spotting errors.

Edit: The game is still available at SailorVgame its a org site. If you say it as a sentence that way it usually won't get cut out by the URL killers.

[Shanami]

I will repost it in the initial post then with the intention of uploading the actual chapter later then. I just did a full polish of the chapter, and I think I caught most of the remaining errors but that doesn't mean there aren't any.

I wish there was a good way to keep the formatting when I paste it over though, having to go through 21+ pages of text to add in all of the enters gets really annoying.

And as an interesting note... brain tissue is rather unique in the body in that it tends to liquefy when it dies.

[Spokavriel]

Instead of being solids maintaining their mass through fluids its more a mass of solids being kept solid by the energy constantly flowing through it. No energy it starts to break down.

[Shanami]

Posted the current (and hopefully mostly finalized) version.

And, that is somewhat how it works, but not entirely. Basically, the cells break down when they die, and unlike the rest of the body there isn't as much framework around the cells. So, instead of keeping the basic shape, it turns into goo.