Temple of Ranma's Sailor Senshi Seifuku

This is a (still quite) rough draft of the chapter. I imagine it's riddled with my usual amount of mechanical errors. Certain sections have gone through several rewrites while others are still pretty rough, structurally. That said, my main concerns for readers are: ⋅ Ryouga and his charac...

I can only view the story. I'd like to give more detailed comments (particularly regarding the overuse of ellipses), but I can't leave comments. SHOULD work now. I have zero experience with this... I am learning (hopefully). I now have a pretty good grasp on how Google docs sets permissions (again,...

uragaaru wrote:Just a quick note. The Google Doc looks like it wasn't converted, so one cannot leave comments in the text. Upload the document again, turning conversion on then, when you share, make you you enable comments.

Hopefully fixed now. New to this, sorry.

EDITED to SYNC w GOOGLE DOCS 10:00 PDT 7/29/2013 I am trying for dual format this time. Because of that, the Google docs file has specious bold and itallic commands, but they are used sparingly. Google Drive Link (let me know if it doesn't work) https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ziY7X_Y0Pfnd7-JZ8k...

Now there is a page on: Jusenkyo Wiki Formatting. With guidelines on the specific sub sections and content appropriate for each. All Hail Gallicus!

In the dead of night just a few hours after the eclipse, among the partially cloudy skies over Tokyo, a keen observer would have noted the black aircraft which lazily drifted over the horizon among the clouds. Though it flew in the air, its design was reminiscent of a Chinese Junk. Over what appeare...

Muse is happy for now. I have a rough Outline and enough material for about 5 chapters (of maybe... 10? I dunno yet :/). Chapter Two begins with Ranma whining about missing his penis and the flashback episode later on is shaping up to be rather fun. One question, what do you think about the Prologu...

Why not just drop the Shampoo/Cologne scene then and do the whole story from Ranma's first person perspective? Edited: Oh... I re-read your response. I thought it was she would be the character in view every scene with introspection, etc. Instead you mean first person, present tense. I want it to b...

One more question. Why not just drop the Shampoo/Cologne scene then and do the whole story from Ranma's first person perspective? Those sorts of fics are pretty rare. And you've already got most of one here. Interesting idea. I guess I could have Nodoka and Akane tell why they (and Genma... who fle...

Yeah, you did address most of my concerns. Question though, are you going to use this cloudy kind of out there style for the whole piece? If not it could be an interesting stylistic difference if you start the chapter and scenes as VERY odd and cloudy like you have at the start. Then as Ranma comes...

A couple problems jumped out at me in 2 of the posted segments... "Just watching the birds." Hiroshi replied offhandedly, watching a particularly energetic chocobo who was dancing around flapping it's stunted wings. "They're kinda cool." She added, with a gesturing hand wave, &qu...

This is a lot better. Three things though. Time scale is still a problem. How long was she with them? That still seems far too cloudy and could probably be made clearer. Or at least how long Ranma THINKS she was with them should be clearer. I could see Ranma getting to the place you have her here i...

Prologue - A Brief History Lesson Silver Millenium Calendar 3520380.77 (November 4th, 13843 BCE) (Friday, 11:37 PM) The grand ballroom of Almathea Castle was the definition of opulence. ]] Amalthea (3rd moon of Jupiter), perhaps? ... “I haven't felt this way in a very long time," the woman half...

oops... 2x posts.

Dumbledork wrote:Loved it. Very well done.

Thanks for your comment.