Return ch26

[Sunshine Temple]

Here's the next chapter of the Return

Chapter 26: Replacements and Remembrance Part 2

Link

Also of note is something that reader Cryptic Mirror has been putting together on TV tropes.

And here's the new armor Usagi gets.

[PCHeintz72]

Well... you really did not give the bulk of us enough of a chance to read before posting to FF.NET. In any case, here are my comments. As always, take them for what you will.

"It wasn't cute! You've very scary."

'You've' s/b 'You're'

"So, is that then?

'that then' s/b 'that it then'

"And this a convenient way

'this a' s/b 'this is a'

After a couple dozen more quick levels,

It seems as if she had been in there a while... I would consider unlikely the others would not check on her.

I'm also hoping the reactions of the others to this unannounced, unsanctioned, and unwilling change are appropriate.

Minako also possibly ruined any chance of continuing with the charade.

"Okay... but there's this little bar chart that says its like twice the power of before."

How exactly would she would know it is twice the power of before?

Serenity shrieked and retracted the blade, preventing further damage.

And the guards did not come running?

Cutting the blade across the blower Serenity laughed.

'Cutting' s/b 'Putting'

"I knew Minako was up to something, but this..." Kiri gave a single laugh.

And she let her go...

"You know, you don't have to speak talk to me,"

'speak talk' s/b 'speak to talk'

Frowns... a unasked for mental link with a compromized soldier... not a wise move. And I'm not convinced Minako is telling the truth about only knowing what Serenity says, not what she thinks.

Makoto Starting

s/b 'Makoto. Staring'

"This is crazy!" Rei glared. "Without telling anyone, Minako decides to scrap the decoy plan to turn herself into... this? What even is this?"

Surprising Rei is the voice of reason in this.

"Sure, there's plenty of military hardware that the Queen didn't preserve. She was a bit pressed for time, what with the major defeat and all."

Is this Luna speaking? Or Setsuna/Kiri? I cannot possibly picture Luna knowing what was and was not sent forward.

Serenity looked down at the almost... drowsy Rei. "She's angry, but calming down. This energy transfer works!"

That is possibly more disturbing than the armor itself... If what occured is what I'm interpreting to have occured.

Finding her wrist grabbed by a vise of bronze, Makoto found herself flung in the direction of the queen, who moved shockingly quick to catch her. Makoto sighed happily; the embrace should not have been comfortable, it should not have been warm, but...

I'm astounded at the level of acceptance of two more unwanted transformations... Unless the acceptance of it is ingrained into the process. I sincerly hope Ranma tells her off.

This is the same Usagi that told Pluto to tell Ranma to kill her if she gets transformed...

The thing was two feet taller than DarkStar.

Darkstar is 6'? In any case, disappointed you did not have the initial confrontation.

Using a blunted blade, Serenity reached out and slid a chair away from the table.

Sniggers... probably too fat and heavy for the chair. (could not resist)

"Really, we cut out losses then?"

'out' s/b 'our'

"No, while this is Akumi's style... she wouldn't stand for this."

Personally... I think they underestimate her. Mercury is smart, but not a battle hardened tactician... the issue is this plan, if it was hers, was not against WIC, but against the Senshi.

"Really? You wonder what a deluded dominatrix with queen issues would do once she gets her prize, conveniently encased in liquid precious metals?" Eve asked with mock innocence.

Actually, I am quite surious as to what Mercury will think upon learning of the current situation.

"The queen is asleep," Minako's voice emitted from the crown's crescent ruby centerpiece.

So... Minako can also use her body when Usagi is alseep...

"Right. I'll agreed to the training, let's do it."

The 'I'll' needs to be 'I' or 'I'll'.

One thing stands out in this chapter, I like the conversations between Cecilia and Ranma.

three basic teams

'teams' s/b 'terms'

Nodoka/Ranma conversing over Usagi's armor.

The entire conversation was pretty well done.

"Meiou really should have gotten better terms on that contract."

Personally, I always felt both side lost in that negotiation, meaning it was a good deal.

and it would at make saving your life from your own gross incompetence less of a chore,"

'at make' s/b 'at least make'

"Little Lunar leader, what do you think this training is supposed to accomplish?

Missing closing quote.

My suspicious, my questions went away.

'suspicious' s/b 'suspicions'

"It'd be better than roses."

It would have been hilarious if he turned his back on them, and walked tot he guys in suits or the gal, and go... where do I sign.

"I got you away from the helmet-haired nitwit and gave you an excuse to ride your bike. And really, it's been a long time since we talked." Opening his coat, Murdock pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

Not the scene itself, but how the scene came to be puzzles me. It would have been better to include the scene that showed these events occuring.

"Of course you will." Despite the corners of her lips rising, her expression chilled. "But not to me."

Nice scene. Took awhile, but he has finally had a bit of his own done to him.


Overall thoughts... Did not care for this chapter as much. Usagi was on her last legs as far as her relationship with WIC goes, then trashes their plans without even a by your leave. And outright told them she is now above their critizism. By all rights WIC should have abandoned them.

In any case, still reading, keep them coming.

[Sunshine Temple]

PCHeintz72

Well... you really did not give the bulk of us enough of a chance to read before posting to FF.NET. In any case, here are my comments. As always, take them for what you will.

[Sorry about that. But can re-upload easily enough

"It wasn't cute! You've very scary."

'You've' s/b 'You're'

"So, is that then?

'that then' s/b 'that it then'

"And this a convenient way

'this a' s/b 'this is a'

After a couple dozen more quick levels,

It seems as if she had been in there a while... I would consider unlikely the others would not check on her.

[A half hour in the bathroom is about normal.

I'm also hoping the reactions of the others to this unannounced, unsanctioned, and unwilling change are appropriate.

[We'll see. I tried to have Ranma et al. rather cross at this.

Minako also possibly ruined any chance of continuing with the charade.

[Yes, her "initiative" was rather bad.

"Okay... but there's this little bar chart that says its like twice the power of before."

How exactly would she would know it is twice the power of before?

[In short, it doesn't. I'll add this.

[[
Serenity paused the game and zoomed in on the wand display. "Okay... but there's this little bar chart that says its like twice the power of before," she said, not wondering how the chart knew what her unsuited power was.
]]

Serenity shrieked and retracted the blade, preventing further damage.

And the guards did not come running?

[Good point. On the other hand there are cameras in the bathroom.
[I'll work that out.

Cutting the blade across the blower Serenity laughed.

'Cutting' s/b 'Putting'

"I knew Minako was up to something, but this..." Kiri gave a single laugh.

And she let her go...

[Let's change that up some

[[
"I knew Minako was up to something, but this..." Kiri gave a single laugh. "It figures. This was what Mercury did to her after all." Her tone turned flat as she gave a mental note to place a call in the morning.
"You know? Does anything surprise you? Anything?" Serenity demanded her voice deepening from countertenor to tenor and gaining a bit more reverb.
Kiri pursed her lips. "Did you two really think you could spend three quarters of an hour in the bathroom and not be noticed? At first I thought you two were relieving stress. Turns out I was right, and explains why the agents laughed when I suggested you two were simply having sex." Kiri sighed. "Anyway Ranma's coming in. Should be... interesting." Pondering ruined plans, Meiou kept her face even. She knew the other demons were waiting for their Mother, which suited Kiri fine, the less she had to repeat meetings like this, the better.
]]

"You know, you don't have to speak talk to me,"

'speak talk' s/b 'speak to talk'

Frowns... a unasked for mental link with a compromized soldier... not a wise move. And I'm not convinced Minako is telling the truth about only knowing what Serenity says, not what she thinks.

[Totally agreeded. "not wise" is being gracious.
[And good pickup on what Serenity "says" versus what she thinks.
[Especially given that she's not actually talking, but thinking speech

Makoto Starting

s/b 'Makoto. Staring'

"This is crazy!" Rei glared. "Without telling anyone, Minako decides to scrap the decoy plan to turn herself into... this? What even is this?"

Surprising Rei is the voice of reason in this.

[Makoto is too shocked, and Puu... has her own plans.

"Sure, there's plenty of military hardware that the Queen didn't preserve. She was a bit pressed for time, what with the major defeat and all."

Is this Luna speaking? Or Setsuna/Kiri? I cannot possibly picture Luna knowing what was and was not sent forward.

[[
"Really?" Makoto asked. "And now you remember what wasn't preserved?"
Luna hesitated. "Fine... I don't quite remember what was stored, but I know that stuff was stored... and there's got to be plenty of military hardware that the Queen didn't preserve. She was a bit pressed for time, what with the major defeat and all."
Luna looked up at the silver face. "But... that didn't mean one of you couldn't make an approximation."
]]

Serenity looked down at the almost... drowsy Rei. "She's angry, but calming down. This energy transfer works!"

That is possibly more disturbing than the armor itself... If what occured is what I'm interpreting to have occured.

[You're probably right.

Finding her wrist grabbed by a vise of bronze, Makoto found herself flung in the direction of the queen, who moved shockingly quick to catch her. Makoto sighed happily; the embrace should not have been comfortable, it should not have been warm, but...

I'm astounded at the level of acceptance of two more unwanted transformations... Unless the acceptance of it is ingrained into the process. I sincerly hope Ranma tells her off.

[Heh.

This is the same Usagi that told Pluto to tell Ranma to kill her if she gets transformed...

[If she goes all "evil". Clearly Usagi doesn't think she is.
[After all Minako's assuring her that.

The thing was two feet taller than DarkStar.

Darkstar is 6'? In any case, disappointed you did not have the initial confrontation.

[Should be three.

[Yeah, could have done that.

Using a blunted blade, Serenity reached out and slid a chair away from the table.

Sniggers... probably too fat and heavy for the chair. (could not resist)

[No, that's quite right.

"Really, we cut out losses then?"

'out' s/b 'our'

"No, while this is Akumi's style... she wouldn't stand for this."

Personally... I think they underestimate her. Mercury is smart, but not a battle hardened tactician... the issue is this plan, if it was hers, was not against WIC, but against the Senshi.

[I had a bit of Mirroring, that Ranma was considering more from her own perspective.
[Too much? I could have them be more suspicious or Merc doing this?

"Really? You wonder what a deluded dominatrix with queen issues would do once she gets her prize, conveniently encased in liquid precious metals?" Eve asked with mock innocence.

Actually, I am quite surious as to what Mercury will think upon learning of the current situation.

[Heh. Thinking that Merc isn't behind this?

"The queen is asleep," Minako's voice emitted from the crown's crescent ruby centerpiece.

So... Minako can also use her body when Usagi is alseep...

[Why wouldn't she?

"Right. I'll agreed to the training, let's do it."

The 'I'll' needs to be 'I' or 'I'll'.
[okay.

One thing stands out in this chapter, I like the conversations between Cecilia and Ranma.
[That's good. Is the first time Ranma had another brood mother she could relate too.

three basic teams

'teams' s/b 'terms'

[No that should be teams.

Nodoka/Ranma conversing over Usagi's armor.

The entire conversation was pretty well done.

[But is there enough ire at Minako/Usagi's stupidity?
[I can see that the chapter doesn't have enough of Ranma telling her off

"Meiou really should have gotten better terms on that contract."

Personally, I always felt both side lost in that negotiation, meaning it was a good deal.

[Heh.

and it would at make saving your life from your own gross incompetence less of a chore,"

'at make' s/b 'at least make'

"Little Lunar leader, what do you think this training is supposed to accomplish?

Missing closing quote.

My suspicious, my questions went away.

'suspicious' s/b 'suspicions'

"It'd be better than roses."

It would have been hilarious if he turned his back on them, and walked tot he guys in suits or the gal, and go... where do I sign.

[I considered that, but he knows Usa more than the agents.
[Neither group does he have much trust in.

"I got you away from the helmet-haired nitwit and gave you an excuse to ride your bike. And really, it's been a long time since we talked." Opening his coat, Murdock pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

Not the scene itself, but how the scene came to be puzzles me. It would have been better to include the scene that showed these events occuring.

[Them occoring?
[You mean Ranma getting a call to have a meting with Murdock?
[There's not that much to how this scene happened.

"Of course you will." Despite the corners of her lips rising, her expression chilled. "But not to me."

Nice scene. Took awhile, but he has finally had a bit of his own done to him.

[Thanks. Did want to get a payoff on him.
[And given all the stuff about "peaceful negotiations" and "trust" I figured it was good for Ranma to finally get him.

Overall thoughts... Did not care for this chapter as much. Usagi was on her last legs as far as her relationship with WIC goes, then trashes their plans without even a by your leave. And outright told them she is now above their critizism. By all rights WIC should have abandoned them.

[I agree that there's not enough of Ranma's ire for the plans being wrecked.
[She contained it during the testing, her own, and her mother's
[But I think in that scene where she lays it out to Usagi, it can go much harsher. So, I'll give that a revision.

In any case, still reading, keep them coming.

[My pleasure. And your comments are much, much appreciated.
[Especially on which scenes work and don't, and the tone.
[Is a shame I didn't wait for the ff.net upload

***************


Adjusting her chest-rig, Ranma looked up at the queen, but only slightly. "Not armored-up?" she asked, absently nodding to Minako.

Currently in her Moon princess guise, Minako nodded from her seat next to the Queen.

"Luna recommended that I.... unwind," Serenity looked down at the cat luxuriating on her lap.

Ranma chuckled. "Fine."

"This is about that? You're deciding whether or not you'll let me... us fight how we want."

The redhead laughed as she slumped down onto a bunk and looked across the room to the couch where the "royalty" sat. "It's your choice. Fight how you want. It's your choice."

Frowning, Serenity idly pushed a lock of silver hair back into her bun. "Meaning that it's my choice whether or not I'll get your protection."

The demon's smirk split, revealing her teeth. "I'm under no obligation to cater to your every whim."

Minako blinked, slowly deliberately. "Meiou really should have gotten better terms on that contract."

"Maybe she wanted to minimize her queen's demonic entanglements." Ranma eyed the drowsy cat, warily. "Maybe she was worried that a compromised Senshi would takeover the queen."

Serenity glared. "Minako is not compromised!"

"She was. And now her little experiment has put our plans at risk. Has put you at risk." Ranma spread her fingers. "My help depends on your obedience."

"Now I know how my mother felt." Serenity sighed.

"Do you now?" Ranma laughed. "If I recall, I wasn't terribly assertive back in that life."

Serenity's eyes narrowed. "Not you, BlackSky."

The redhead's lips curled into a tight smile. "Usa.. Usa... Usa... Even you're not so inept that you'd blindly deal with the likes of my grandmother."

Luna snickered.

"But you can?"

"You're right, look at who you're working with now." Ranma then shook her head. "We're family. Even I'm not going to foolishly deal with her."

"Oh? Mother... Serenity... you know... There was that deal the Silver Millennium made with her. That worked out well."

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "BlackSky got her pick of Earth's mages, destroyed a rival, took all her land, avenged her favored granddaughter's death, and got her back. Meanwhile the Silver Empire started a troublesome occupation that planted the seeds of the Fall."

Serenity – Usagi stared at the demon. "That's...."

The redhead leaned back, smiling broadly.

"You're not even accounting the current situation." Luna rolled on her back. "We are at your mercy."

"And yet you still screw up" Ranma's grin floated merrily. "Now that's just too paranoid; even eldritch demon queens have limits. Of course I could be lying to keep you conveniently complacent."

Minako narrowed her eyes.

"I think we've drifted from why I came here. Unless you want to talk with grandma BlackSky. There are several ways she could solve your problem."

"The combat cyborgs?"

Ranma sighed. "Where's your imagination? I'm certain BlackSky can accommodate."

"Accommodate what?"

Frustration doubling, the demon rubbed her head. "How blunt do I have to be? I'm trying to broker a Faustian bargain here."

"I don't think that's what mother had in mind when she sent me forward."

Still holding her forehead, Ranma chuckled. "Yes, her deal with BlackSky went over so well."

"Why are you doing this?"

"You brought her up and you decided to play mecha," Shifting her eyes to Minako, Ranma's voice was stern. "And don't you act like you're too good for this. You've already made your deal-with-a-demon."

"Are you trying to make me regret my choices?"

Radiating the patronizing warmth of mock contrition, Ranma bowed her head slightly. "Some degree of self examination or self awareness would be nice, and it would at least make saving your life from your own gross incompetence less of a chore," she smoothly said, her eyes smoldering with amused contempt.

Serenity glared and gripped Minako's hand. "I get it. I'm not as smart as you. We can't all be eloquent and sophisticated"

Smug confidence shattering, Ranma rolled to the side in fits of laughter. Laying halfway on the bed she looked up. Battered by continual chuckles, Serenity had tightened her grip, seemingly liquefying Minako's... compliant hand.

"Sorry...." Ranma pulled herself back up. "I'm still getting used to..." She shook her head and then ran her fingers through the tussled tresses, feathering further. As that happened, her tail came out and curled around her hips and flopped over the end of the bed where it lazily swung back and forth. Finally, she extended her horns. "There, may as well play it to the hilt." Ranma then leaned forward. "Now..." she purred, literally. "This is a bunk room. We can even have Minako too. I really don't mind blondes."

Minako turned to Serenity and gave a quick smile.

Door knocking open, two meters of terse Teutonic shapeliness strode in. Eve's icy blue eyes scanned the room.

"Well, speak of the devil." Ranma chuckled.

Minako's face brightened. "Oooh, you like puns too?"

"Don't get her started," Eve said. "You didn't tell them?" she asked Ranma.

"Didn't get the chance. Queenie over here started talking about Grandma."

Eve nodded.

"So, what, you figured the conversation was going on too long and barged in to derail it?" Serenity asked.

"Don't be silly." Luna rolled back onto her belly. "She probably just watched the video feed."

Turning to Serenity, the tall demon chuckled. "Unless mein Schwesterchen wants to feed on you, we do have a schedule to maintain."

Ranma smirked. "Technically... you're the little sister here."

"So that's it. Not even going to use the new armor Min- er... Usagi came up with?" Serenity glared, her cheeks flush at the continued charade.

"Actually, we need you two to get back together." Eve's eyes glinted.

Ranma stood up and rocked her feet. "It really would have been better if command denied your little suit, but Jacob's got a sense of humor. To bad for you."

"I don't understand where you got this notion of Colonel Edwards possessing a sense of humor." Eve deadpanned.

"Why is this so difficult for you?" Serenity demanded. "If anyone should love big weapons and heavy armor, it's you guys."

The demon sisters looked at each other.

"At least she didn't say we were compensating," Ranma swished her tail in thought.

"Penis envy? Really, must we be so Freudian?" Her tail flicking back and forth, Eve glanced at her SSP; its tip only a hair shorter than the dress uniform skirt it was holstered to.. "I don't think envy is the right word. It's not like we're talking about a difficult commodity for a succubus to acquire."

"Though Morgan is... attached to her gun."

"Really? Need I bring up Misako, or is that too obvious a retort?"

"True, Morgan hasn't named hers."

"Oh? I've heard her whisper a certain name around her gun," Ranma teased.

Eve chuckled. "Please, Morgan didn't even kill that girl with her rifle."

"This... doesn't answer my question." Serenity sighed.

"Oh, but it does," Ranma's voice was almost sing song. "Sure we could clank around in great big shiny armor, and lumber around with mini-guns, but... why?"

Serenity blinked.

"Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should."

"You're telling me to not push the envelope? You?" Serenity's eyes were wide with disbelief.

"There's a difference between equipment and performance. This thing is a careful balance between protection and weight," the redhead tapped her vest armor. "Not because an extra kilo will make it too heavy to carry, but because every bit saved gives more... space, more maneuverability. I can do all those fancy moves and do them that fast in spite of my armor not because of it."

"My armor's different." Serenity squeezed Minako's hand again.

Ranma smirked. "No it's not."

"Yes, it is a wonder," Eve's voice was dry.

"That's not a complement, is it."

"Wonder-weapons are symptomatic of various State illnesses. Sometimes it's as benign as superpowers with more money than sense. Other times its the perspiration-inspired desperation of potentates, presidents, and tyrants gambling that grandiosity trumps tactics. Either way it's a magnificent waste of resource."

Serenity sniffed at the miniature lecture. "Then why are you helping me?"

Eve smiled. "Well, it's not always a waste, at least in the long term. Such projects do provide rich scavenging."

Ranma nodded and tapped the jammer pinned to her chest.

Serenity paused. "You don't care about it as a weapon."

"It's not a weapon. It's an unpleasant surprise. If you insist on this foolishness, we'll get what we can out of it. If you insist on fighting with it, we'll make sure it's not a deathtrap, for us. If you continue to disobey we'll turn you out. If you protest, I'll full-fill the terms of our first contract." The redhead carefully lectured, her forced grin never leaving. "Are we clear."

Serenity patted Minako's tensing hand. "These aren't new terms, are they?"

Ranma shook her head.

"And anyway, not all wonder weapons are a waste," Serenity's hand went to the wand strapped to her belt.

"Sure, two even managed to end the last World War," Ranma flatly said.

"I am death destroyer of worlds?" Eve quoted. "Though I'd call the Manhattan project more terrific than wondrous."

"Terrific?" Serenity asked, helping Luna get back up to her shoulder.

"English is a funny language." Eve opened the door. "In addition to being something good, terrific can refer to something extraordinarily intense or something that causes terror. I believe those two qualify."

"See! Not all wonder weapons are failures." Ranma gushed. "Just look at what the wonder you inherited has done.

Serenity narrowed her eyes. "That's why I like the armor. It gives me more control. I don't like the Silver Crystal. Do you have any idea what it can do? Do you realize how afraid I am of losing control?"

Ranma paused and then nodded. "So afraid that you hired a demon to kill you if you did."

"Yeah." Serenity glared. "So maybe, it's not best to make fun of attempts to give me a bit more control."

"Yes, more control." The redhead tilted her head and nodded to her sister.

"Little Lunar leader, what do you think this training is supposed to accomplish?" Eve asked with mock gentleness.

"And is it really control if you're depending on someone else?" Ranma's eyes went to the "human" blonde next to Usagi.

Serenity inhaled. "So what do you want me to do?"

***************

[PCHeintz72]

And the guards did not come running?

[Good point. On the other hand there are cameras in the bathroom.
[I'll work that out.

I've been thinking on this... it might be interesting to have a few small scenes with commentary from those watching, maybe a communications to those outside the door, if not the same ones.
Initial reactions, a comment or two about holding, a note that others notified, etc...

"You know? Does anything surprise you? Anything?" Serenity demanded her voice deepening from countertenor to tenor and gaining a bit more reverb.

This line still bothers me a bit... Usagi all through the story had been losing faith in Pluto, and though some was gained back at start of training, it never became awe, which is almost what this sounds like. After all, if there was anything she did not know, Mammoru would never have occured.

[And good pickup on what Serenity "says" versus what she thinks.

Yep. Was pretty obvious to me.

[You're probably right.

But, and this is ultra important, does either the guys watching or Ranma know of this ability, this can be critical down the road, since it is not overly obvious, and the long term effects are not known. This could be without question Pluto's most foolish mistake yet. Seeing that scene firsthand and she did not think of it in time to save herself.

[If she goes all "evil". Clearly Usagi doesn't think she is.

But per the contract that was left to Ranma's discretion

[I had a bit of Mirroring, that Ranma was considering more from her own perspective.
[Too much? I could have them be more suspicious or Merc doing this?

Yes, that would be better.

[Heh. Thinking that Merc isn't behind this?

I meant *if* she was not behind it. And even if she was, with Minako constantly unable to contact Mercury, as per the belief of WIC, she might be surprised, or it might not have been exactly what was wanted, or even merely too soon.

[That's good. Is the first time Ranma had another brood mother she could relate too.

Correct, BlackSky does not really count due to fact of it is like comparing apples to oranges, and Alexia is a obviously poor example.

[No that should be teams.

That reads wrong to me, but leave it if you want. Is that some local or military slang?

[I considered that, but he knows Usa more than the agents.
[Neither group does he have much trust in.

I would have him make them sweat at a minimum, even if he does join.

I've not had a chance to read the addition below the last comment yet.

[Is a shame I didn't wait for the ff.net upload

While I was surprised there were not more comments, it was only up barely a day in the middle of a work week before posting to FF.NET, and this was a reasonably large chapter. Combined with work and RL, even I took a day and a half to get to it. If you can wait through either a couple work days or a weekend that would work better, there was more commentary on the chapters back when you used to do that. This one and the last one the quick post cycle and minimal comment period prevented I think more discussion. Just an opinion, mind you.

[Sunshine Temple]

And the guards did not come running?

[Good point. On the other hand there are cameras in the bathroom.
[I'll work that out.

I've been thinking on this... it might be interesting to have a few small scenes with commentary from those watching, maybe a communications to those outside the door, if not the same ones.
Initial reactions, a comment or two about holding, a note that others notified, etc...

[Hmm, I could see something good with Dirac and Deschain. For one them getting more support.
[Good idea. I'll have to find a good place to split the scene and insert that.

"You know? Does anything surprise you? Anything?" Serenity demanded her voice deepening from countertenor to tenor and gaining a bit more reverb.

This line still bothers me a bit... Usagi all through the story had been losing faith in Pluto, and though some was gained back at start of training, it never became awe, which is almost what this sounds like. After all, if there was anything she did not know, Mammoru would never have occured.

[Ahhh, I wasn't going for aww, more anger. I'll make that clearer

[[
"Oh? You know? Of course you'd know. You're all knowing on stuff like this, but not anything important. Like preventing Mamoru from dying, or finding where the Russians are. How come you don't know that?" Serenity demanded her voice deepening from countertenor to tenor and gaining a bit more reverb.
]]

[And good pickup on what Serenity "says" versus what she thinks.

Yep. Was pretty obvious to me.

[That's good.

[You're probably right.

But, and this is ultra important, does either the guys watching or Ranma know of this ability, this can be critical down the road, since it is not overly obvious, and the long term effects are not known. This could be without question Pluto's most foolish mistake yet. Seeing that scene firsthand and she did not think of it in time to save herself.

[Depends on the effects on Puu, and what Mina is up too.

[If she goes all "evil". Clearly Usagi doesn't think she is.

But per the contract that was left to Ranma's discretion

[Yes. So it would seem that, Usagi doesn't think this would have Ranma terminate.

[I had a bit of Mirroring, that Ranma was considering more from her own perspective.
[Too much? I could have them be more suspicious or Merc doing this?

Yes, that would be better.

[okay

[[
"That goes without saying." Ranma kept her eyes on the golden figure. "That's pretty much what Meiou and the Queen told me. Venus took advantage of what Akumi did to her and made herself into a protective suit. So Akumi had a hand in this."
"But it's a question of degree," Eve sighed.
"Right, we can't dismiss Akumi." Violet eyes narrowed. "This chain of control here is getting a bit too long for my taste."
"Right, and then there's how much influence little Kiri has in all this," Eve added.
]]

[Heh. Thinking that Merc isn't behind this?

I meant *if* she was not behind it. And even if she was, with Minako constantly unable to contact Mercury, as per the belief of WIC, she might be surprised, or it might not have been exactly what was wanted, or even merely too soon.

[Yes, timing could be very critical in this, and the timing could easily go wrong.

[That's good. Is the first time Ranma had another brood mother she could relate too.

Correct, BlackSky does not really count due to fact of it is like comparing apples to oranges, and Alexia is a obviously poor example.

[And while Eve is a brood mother, she's Ranma's little sister. So not an independent viewpoint to talk with.

[No that should be teams.

That reads wrong to me, but leave it if you want. Is that some local or military slang?

[It's actually the three teams. Lemmie reword

[[
"What are the three teams used in a basic ambush?"
]]

[I considered that, but he knows Usa more than the agents.
[Neither group does he have much trust in.

I would have him make them sweat at a minimum, even if he does join.

I've not had a chance to read the addition below the last comment yet.

[Is a shame I didn't wait for the ff.net upload

While I was surprised there were not more comments, it was only up barely a day in the middle of a work week before posting to FF.NET, and this was a reasonably large chapter. Combined with work and RL, even I took a day and a half to get to it. If you can wait through either a couple work days or a weekend that would work better, there was more commentary on the chapters back when you used to do that. This one and the last one the quick post cycle and minimal comment period prevented I think more discussion. Just an opinion, mind you.

[Yes, I think that's what happened.

[I forgot that I had off on Friday, but not many others would have.
[And then add in not leaving it up for even a full day.

[It's even worse given the changes in the chapter so far. Which will then go up to FF.net.
[Ah well. I can likely pull ch26 then reupload it and write a note on the revision.

[Then next chapter be more patient




Serenity continued to stare at her armor... her Senshi. "Wow... that's really some protection."

"Thanks," Minako said shyly.

***************

Agent Dirac blinked at the feed on the portable display. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen," he said checking his rifle.

"Explains the scanner jump," Deschain muttered going through his gear. "I've got a couple charges, we could rig the door up, pull back" he suggested glancing forward and to the left.

"No. They'll take the door." Kasumi pointed to the two demons. "Steve keep on the feed and the scanners, if they go funny we’ll act. Until then we wait for Ranma or Captain Jarvis to takeover. "

"Some extra oomph would be good," Misako suggested, shouldering "Sasha".

"No, Mining the door will force us to withdraw a bit, and I want you two to be close if things go bad."

"It looks big maybe slow, clumsy." Nariko said, fingering her sword's hilt.

"Right," Kasumi exhaled. She could see why Ranma found this girl so... frustrating.

***************

Staring at the armor's... at her reflection, Serenity frowned... causing metallic lips to shift. "How are you talking anyway?"


.....


The door clicked open and Serenity automatically spun, heaving her bulk towards it. Her sword grew and came up in a defensive position while her wand leveled at the intruder.

The petite form of Kiri Meiou blinked. She leaned back into the hall at the mixture of tense and amused agents, demons, and demonic agents. She pulled herself back into the room, and for a brief moment her eyes flashed with iridescence.

She blinked again, looked back into the hallway, and stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. Walking around the titanic armored form, Kiri hummed to herself.

"Well?" Serenity said after the green-haired girl had completed a couple laps. "Aren’t you going to say something."

....

Kiri thought of the sight in the hallway and laughed. "That you and Minako went and turned yourselves into a war behemoth." she patted the back of the anchor ring where it rested above Serenity's back armor and gargantuan thigh supports. She chuckled at the queen's reaction. "You could always take Minako off."

....

The cobwebs of sleep were immediately banished by the sight before Makoto. She had gotten used to heavily armed demons and soldiers, but this...

Starting, she looked up, and up. Dominating the room, towering above her and Rei was a riot of polished and engraved metal and silver. Her eyes traced up the ranks of interlocking armored plates that marched up and in. Then they went over the solid girth of some sort of flared heavy ring. Above that convex and hugely concave curves reflected a distorted image of the room and the Senshi.

[PCHeintz72]

[[
"Oh? You know? Of course you'd know. You're all knowing on stuff like this, but not anything important. Like preventing Mamoru from dying, or finding where the Russians are. How come you don't know that?" Serenity demanded her voice deepening from countertenor to tenor and gaining a bit more reverb.
]]

Hmmm... I'm having a hard time understanding the range Usagi's voice is now in. Your names for the ranges do not match the ranges I remember back in high school choir. For me it was:

Guys (high to low)
- Tenor 1
- Tenor 2
- Base
- Baritone

Girls (high to low)
- Soprano 1
- Soprano 2
- Alto 1
- Alto 2

Were I to judge Usagi's voice in series (I know, you use manga, but as a raw baseline), I would place her between borderline Alto 1 and Soprano 2, unless whining, then low Soprano 1. Considering the change and mechanical inflection it apparently has while inside the armor, I would think would drop it to low Alto 2, quite low for a girl. What is the range breakdown you are using?

The petite form of Kiri Meiou blinked. She leaned back into the hall at the mixture of tense and amused agents, demons, and demonic agents. She pulled herself back into the room, and for a brief moment her eyes flashed with iridescence.

She blinked again, looked back into the hallway, and stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. Walking around the titanic armored form, Kiri hummed to herself.

Why is she looking into the hall twice and turning her back, when Serenity is holding a weapon on her. Might want to open it with at least a clearer note whether the eye flash on her part was amusement, annoyance (at either overall situation, or having been woken up and told to go in), or anger, or something else (messing up of not only *WIC* plans, but *her* plans).

Agent Dirac blinked at the feed on the portable display. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen," he said checking his rifle

Might want to follow up with something like 'and that is saying something, considering what he has seen while with the company'.

"It looks big maybe slow, clumsy."

Maybe a comma after 'big'?

[Sunshine Temple]

[[
"Oh? You know? Of course you'd know. You're all knowing on stuff like this, but not anything important. Like preventing Mamoru from dying, or finding where the Russians are. How come you don't know that?" Serenity demanded her voice deepening from countertenor to tenor and gaining a bit more reverb.
]]

Hmmm... I'm having a hard time understanding the range Usagi's voice is now in. Your names for the ranges do not match the ranges I remember back in high school choir. For me it was:

Guys (high to low)
- Tenor 1
- Tenor 2
- Base
- Baritone

Girls (high to low)
- Soprano 1
- Soprano 2
- Alto 1
- Alto 2

Were I to judge Usagi's voice in series (I know, you use manga, but as a raw baseline), I would place her between borderline Alto 1 and Soprano 2, unless whining, then low Soprano 1. Considering the change and mechanical inflection it apparently has while inside the armor, I would think would drop it to low Alto 2, quite low for a girl. What is the range breakdown you are using?

[The suit is making Usagi's voice unnaturally low. I'll clear that up

[[
Serenity demanded, the armor further deepening her voice from countertenor to tenor and gaining a bit more reverb.
]]

[And yes, the females with deep voices are Alto 2 / Contralto. That would be Eve and Ranma mostly.

[Over the series Ranma's voice has deepened.
[Pat's opening has a good example of what her voice is like
fic/Intro_Return.wmv

The petite form of Kiri Meiou blinked. She leaned back into the hall at the mixture of tense and amused agents, demons, and demonic agents. She pulled herself back into the room, and for a brief moment her eyes flashed with iridescence.

She blinked again, looked back into the hallway, and stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. Walking around the titanic armored form, Kiri hummed to herself.

Why is she looking into the hall twice and turning her back, when Serenity is holding a weapon on her. Might want to open it with at least a clearer note whether the eye flash on her part was amusement, annoyance (at either overall situation, or having been woken up and told to go in), or anger, or something else (messing up of not only *WIC* plans, but *her* plans).

[good point

[[
The petite form of Kiri Meiou blinked. She leaned back into the hall at the mixture of tense and amused agents, demons, and demonic agents. She pulled herself back into the room, and for a brief moment her eyes flashed with iridescence.
Serenity paused, unsure if the smaller girl was annoyed, amused, or angry. In the brief moment where it looked like Meiou was deciding what to be, Serenity was reminded that "Kiri" was simply a fresh body that Pluto was inhabiting.
Kiri blinked again and stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. Walking around the titanic armored form, Kiri hummed to herself.
]]

Agent Dirac blinked at the feed on the portable display. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen," he said checking his rifle

Might want to follow up with something like 'and that is saying something, considering what he has seen while with the company'.

[Heh.

[[ Agent Dirac blinked at the feed on the portable display. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen," he said checking his rifle. "And I've worked on these girl's magic trinkets."
]]

[There is a reason Dirac said it.

"It looks big maybe slow, clumsy."

Maybe a comma after 'big'?

[Yah.

[Up with v3d. If that's good (at least for your changes), I'll repost on ff.net.

[PCHeintz72]

[Up with v3d. If that's good (at least for your changes), I'll repost on ff.net.

Well... while there may be more stuff, it is not anything I caught during a single read through. If others comment, it may be on different stuff.

You and a couple other authors are the few I do read throughs like this outside of story contests, and even this is not truly proofreading. Even for contests, I do not do it for much beyond my own notes for voting. I find most people do not seem to care for my style of commenting. Shrugs, that is why I nearly always prefix the things with the note of 'take of it what you will', or some version of it.

[Sunshine Temple]

[Up with v3d. If that's good (at least for your changes), I'll repost on ff.net.

Well... while there may be more stuff, it is not anything I caught during a single read through. If others comment, it may be on different stuff.

[Likely.

You and a couple other authors are the few I do read throughs like this outside of story contests, and even this is not truly proofreading. Even for contests, I do not do it for much beyond my own notes for voting. I find most people do not seem to care for my style of commenting. Shrugs, that is why I nearly always prefix the things with the note of 'take of it what you will', or some version of it.

[True, but you did spot a bunch of typos, and you really helped set the tone better in the story. Which I think really strengthens the reaction to what Minako did.

[Will upload to ff.net then.

[khim]

Small correction: s/Krasnaya/Ryzhaya bestiya/. Red is "krasnyi" (красный), it's true, but when it's applied to hair it's "ryzhyi" (рыжий) and then "bestiya" (бестия) kinda goes without thinking. "Bestiya" (Бестия) means "rogue, artful dodger" and since redheads have certain reputation this combination is quite popular - even if the speaker does not know if he's dealing with genuine sly fox or someone who's just looking like that... and here it's known for the fact it's not just looks!

[Cheb]

What a twist
The plot is becoming more and more complicated, I see

>"It's a good year," Olsen noted
LOL
>as he stripped the packing material off one of the rifles and
...and what?

[Sunshine Temple]

khim

Small correction: s/Krasnaya/Ryzhaya bestiya/. Red is "krasnyi" (красный), it's true, but when it's applied to hair it's "ryzhyi" (рыжий) and then "bestiya" (бестия) kinda goes without thinking. "Bestiya" (Бестия) means "rogue, artful dodger" and since redheads have certain reputation this combination is quite popular - even if the speaker does not know if he's dealing with genuine sly fox or someone who's just looking like that... and here it's known for the fact it's not just looks!

[Hehe. That's really good.
[Ranma in canon is a redhead for a similar reputation.

[Very good. Revised ch26 and previous chapters where I could find that nickname.


[Oppise. Looks like you replied while I was writing

Cheb

What a twist
The plot is becoming more and more complicated, I see

[Heh. From a certain angle, from another angle it's getting simpler as more and more of the secrets are being revealed.

[Well, at least when I reveal more of the secrets ;p

>"It's a good year," Olsen noted
LOL

[Hehe.

>as he stripped the packing material off one of the rifles and
...and what?

[[rifles and started removing a thick grease-like coating.

[Nadrek]

Again, I have limited time (though I now have a 2007 copy of Jane's Strategic Weapon Systems, and a new Ethernet jack in the living room, which should work once I crawl up into the attic).

Regarding v3f, which I've only skimmed a few sections of:

As others have said, the scared young-seeming brood mother conversing with the older-seeming (matriarchal) Ranma was well done.

Shest being the only one who has the Deep Diver is interesting; when she brings the others along with her, do they not see what she sees, and experience/sense what she senses? Has Shest been sensing whatever's trying to penetrate the dimensional walls (whether it was a clear view she thought was a hallucination or malfunction, or whether it was as if seen through a glass, darkly)?

As far as the agents calling for support during the initial transformation, I'd expect a desire for at least a couple units (outside) with serious penetration capability, whether that be 120mm APFSDS from a tank or a turret, or supersonic anti-tank missiles (Kornet or Khrizantema from a ground launcher, or, better, Vikhr from a chopper or light aircraft, or American/European/etc. equivalents), just in case. Alternately, one of the dual-role SAM/surface to surface missiles (Buk) might be valuable, purely for the high airspeed (much more difficult to shoot down, which was much the reason for my "supersonic" specification, though less warning for a shot to the back also helps). Any of the tandem charge warheads designed to handle reactive armor should also handle magic barriers, if they're vulnerable to being weakened or brought down or penetrated by HEAT warheads. Thermobaric's also worth a try.

Or, of course, any of the laser guided 155mm artillery shells. Pair the sighting laser with some long range, weak (.308 or .300 Win Mag) sniper rifle to fire only if it appears the target notices the laser, in the hopes that the target ignores it as _obviously_ being just for the sniper rifle, and therefore ignorable (if more powerful sniper rifles worked, they wouldn't need to move up to laser guided artillery munitions).

Anti-teleport measures should be double-checked.

On review, the initial part of the Minako-container-mecha transformation was made with no warning, just a tight hug, the beginnings of a transformation of Minako's form, and a plea from Usagi about "Breathing...". It starts off looking like an assassination/kidnapping attempt.

' "Right, Steve, Jared escort," Andrea drawled. Agents Deschain and Dirac nodded and flanked the silver-haired young woman.' - as a note, you do mention "portable display", but I don't recall it ever being mentioned before.

'Over her eyelids and lips the armor thinned, though was still about an eight of an inch.' - hah. Large human-scale centerfire handguns should punch right through that, much less rifles with armor-piercing ammunition... or shots to the eye, which appears to be either exposed, or covered by 'translucent blue lenses'. No wonder the agents mentioned something about the stupidest thing they'd ever seen. That said, it fits the bits I've seen of the sailor senshi... idiom.

Oh... tasers, other electrical weapons, and flamethrowers/heat based weapons should be truly entertaining. If the "armor" is based on Moon Kingdom "Sailor Senshi" ideas, it may be primarily geared towards dealing with magic.


'So you expect us to run about shouting 'Cover me' and 'Covering'?' - well, actually, we expect you to forget entirely, and die. But if you weren't idiots, we'd expect you to use comm gear... and understand that combat is a very loud place.

'Remember the Black Moon Clan? Time traveling insurrectionists under the thrall of an ancient horror. Or there's the Dark Kingdom. Again, a rebellion to the Silver Empire under the thrall of yet another ancient horror, but this time the roots lay in the problems of the occupation and pacification of Earth.' - So... let's NOT go out conquering this time around, hmm? Give up this royalty schtick, and start offering to help out one or another major governments or well regarded organizations? You know, from each according to their ability, and so on?

'Unzipping her leather jacket revealing a handgun her right hip. ' - if you want to use unzipping, then you need to use revealed instead of revealing. Otherwise, it's She unzipped... revealing.

'The redhead gave a violet flickering glare and strode forward.' - I'd put flickering before violet.

'Then his composure regained and his oily smile returned,' - Then he regained his composure. Composures don't regain anything.

[Sunshine Temple]

Nadrek

Again, I have limited time (though I now have a 2007 copy of Jane's Strategic Weapon Systems, and a new Ethernet jack in the living room, which should work once I crawl up into the attic).
[Sounds good.

Regarding v3f, which I've only skimmed a few sections of:

As others have said, the scared young-seeming brood mother conversing with the older-seeming (matriarchal) Ranma was well done.

[Excellent. I was waiting for Ranma to have someone that's a "peer"
[Another broodmother, but unlike Eve not one she made.
[And wanted to wait until Ranma was established enough that she'd be the older-seeming one.

Shest being the only one who has the Deep Diver is interesting; when she brings the others along with her, do they not see what she sees, and experience/sense what she senses? Has Shest been sensing whatever's trying to penetrate the dimensional walls (whether it was a clear view she thought was a hallucination or malfunction, or whether it was as if seen through a glass, darkly)?

[Basically, the Numbers "work" because Scarlatti cut several corners.
[He didn't have the technology to make pure cyborgs, so he used magic to bridge the gap.
[This was what narrowed the pool of candidates to such low numbers.

[This is also where their unique capabilities came from.
[It's similar to how the Senshi all have different powers. Powers that are only loosely related to their planets.

[The brood also have individualization on their special powers. Though in their case, those powers are pretty much specializations/exaggerations of the standard succubus set.


As far as the agents calling for support during the initial transformation, I'd expect a desire for at least a couple units (outside) with serious penetration capability, whether that be 120mm APFSDS from a tank or a turret, or supersonic anti-tank missiles (Kornet or Khrizantema from a ground launcher, or, better, Vikhr from a chopper or light aircraft, or American/European/etc. equivalents), just in case. Alternately, one of the dual-role SAM/surface to surface missiles (Buk) might be valuable, purely for the high airspeed (much more difficult to shoot down, which was much the reason for my "supersonic" specification, though less warning for a shot to the back also helps). Any of the tandem charge warheads designed to handle reactive armor should also handle magic barriers, if they're vulnerable to being weakened or brought down or penetrated by HEAT warheads. Thermobaric's also worth a try.

[I can add to that. Have Kasumi mention the other support being spun up.

Or, of course, any of the laser guided 155mm artillery shells. Pair the sighting laser with some long range, weak (.308 or .300 Win Mag) sniper rifle to fire only if it appears the target notices the laser, in the hopes that the target ignores it as _obviously_ being just for the sniper rifle, and therefore ignorable (if more powerful sniper rifles worked, they wouldn't need to move up to laser guided artillery munitions).

[Interesting idea.

Anti-teleport measures should be double-checked.

[Yeah can build that in.

[[
Agent Dirac blinked at the feed on the portable display to his pattern scanner. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen," he said checking his rifle. "And I've worked on these girl's magic trinkets."
"Explains the scanner jump," Deschain muttered going through his gear. "I've got a couple charges, we could rig the door up, pull back" he suggested glancing forward and to the left.
"No. They'll take the door." Kasumi pointed to the two demons. "Steve keep on the feed and the scanners, if they go funny we’ll act. Tell me if the jamming system goes funny."
"Running green," Misako and Nariko echoed confirming their personal jammers were on.
"Until then we wait for Ranma or Captain Jarvis to takeover."
"Some extra oomph would be good," Misako suggested, shouldering "Sasha".
"No, Mining the door will force us to withdraw a bit, and I want you two to be close if things go bad, and if things go real bad we've got a 'chopper on route and orange has a couple AT4's."
Deschain nodded. "Good missiles, and if this thing has main-battle tank grade armor?"
"A javelin team is on it's way too, and if that's not enough, there's our the MRLS system, or the Canadians can use one of their Copperheads." Kasumi said, referring to the 155mm laser guided artillery shell.
"The Black Devils have an M77 now?" Deschain chuckled. "Good for them."
"It looks big, maybe slow, clumsy." Nariko said, fingering her sword's hilt.
"Right," Kasumi exhaled. She could see why Ranma found this girl so... frustrating.
]]

[I'll also add bits to the other scenes about the weapons in reserve.

On review, the initial part of the Minako-container-mecha transformation was made with no warning, just a tight hug, the beginnings of a transformation of Minako's form, and a plea from Usagi about "Breathing...". It starts off looking like an assassination/kidnapping attempt.

[Heh, funny that.

' "Right, Steve, Jared escort," Andrea drawled. Agents Deschain and Dirac nodded and flanked the silver-haired young woman.' - as a note, you do mention "portable display", but I don't recall it ever being mentioned before.

[The scanners do have a display capability and can pipe in other feeds. I'll clear that up.

'Over her eyelids and lips the armor thinned, though was still about an eight of an inch.' - hah. Large human-scale centerfire handguns should punch right through that, much less rifles with armor-piercing ammunition... or shots to the eye, which appears to be either exposed, or covered by 'translucent blue lenses'. No wonder the agents mentioned something about the stupidest thing they'd ever seen. That said, it fits the bits I've seen of the sailor senshi... idiom.

[Yuppers. I'll confess, I had a lot of fun with the design, as it is full of "magical-girl-cool" stuff that is just plane insane.

[Now the Numbers do have unarmored eyes as well, though they're extremely mobile.
[As their armor, while impressive, does not give them a crippling size or weight.

Oh... tasers, other electrical weapons, and flamethrowers/heat based weapons should be truly entertaining. If the "armor" is based on Moon Kingdom "Sailor Senshi" ideas, it may be primarily geared towards dealing with magic.

[Heh. Minako is biased.


'So you expect us to run about shouting 'Cover me' and 'Covering'?' - well, actually, we expect you to forget entirely, and die. But if you weren't idiots, we'd expect you to use comm gear... and understand that combat is a very loud place.

[Hehe, I'll have to adapt that into the scene.

'Remember the Black Moon Clan? Time traveling insurrectionists under the thrall of an ancient horror. Or there's the Dark Kingdom. Again, a rebellion to the Silver Empire under the thrall of yet another ancient horror, but this time the roots lay in the problems of the occupation and pacification of Earth.' - So... let's NOT go out conquering this time around, hmm? Give up this royalty schtick, and start offering to help out one or another major governments or well regarded organizations? You know, from each according to their ability, and so on?

[Yeah, the previous Serenity was much better at being a leader and a military commander and her empire fell apart hideously. Not something Usagi should try to repeat.

'Unzipping her leather jacket revealing a handgun her right hip. ' - if you want to use unzipping, then you need to use revealed instead of revealing. Otherwise, it's She unzipped... revealing.

[right, I'll use revealed

'The redhead gave a violet flickering glare and strode forward.' - I'd put flickering before violet.
[better

'Then his composure regained and his oily smile returned,' - Then he regained his composure. Composures don't regain anything.

[[ Smile breaking, Murdock's cigarette nervously twitched. Then he regained his composure, oily smile returning, but this time he held a hand up to steady his cigarette.


[Thanks for commenting. Updated version should be up now.

Edit: Forgot to put in this change

"Honestly, we expect you to forget entirely, and die, and we'd expect you to use comm. gear and understand that combat is a noisy place, but we're no longer even that hopeful," Nariko brightly added.

[Nadrek]

Quick comment: anything that disables Minako-container's ability to move under power effectively traps Usagi... such as EMP or the magical equivalent, disenchantment, removing or blocking or draining Minako's (magical) power supply or the control thereof, or any back-door shutdown Ami included that she, her henchgirls, Murdock, or any other competent surveillance knows about, since Minako's still working with hardware Ami set up.