as of yet untitled FIC

[Delta-Theta]

This is an idea I got from reading Ozzallos's fic The Best of Times. It is currently untitled and this is just the first section of the first chapter. Please comment on it and let me know Thanks!
Chaos. It was the only word that could ever come close to describing the events that led up to the end of the period of time known only as the silver millennium. It was a war; it was a war that could only bring an end to peace and prosperity. Fighting in this war on the side of the moon and Queen Serenity are the magical girls know only as the senshi. The senshi are an elite group of women in service to not only their respective planets but also to the Queen of the Moon. They are also princesses of their planets.
Of these eight women there were two that were ordered to guard the main gates to the palace. These two were chosen not only for the fact that they worked very well together, but also they had complementing powers of ice and fire. These two senshi were known as Mercury and Mars. The real names were not known, like all senshi with the exception of Pluto, they chose to forgo their names and go by the names of their respective planets to let everyone know what they endure, and also to let everyone know that they are more than just using magic but that they are linked to their respective planets.
The battle at the main gates of the palace of the moon was a fierce one, and they would have failed if not for their powers and the weapons that they had been given. The weapons were not just any usual weapons that you would normally see in battle. They were what you could call a soul weapon. These types of weapons are very rare and only 5 others are known to have been given out. One was given to each of the senshi's of Neptune, Uranus, Pluto, Saturn, and Venus. These types of weapons are special for they act as a focus for the respective senshi's powers. There is a difference between these two weapons and the others that were given to the other senshi. That difference is that these two weapons that the Senshi of Mars and Mercury wield is that the user can bond completely with them.
The process of bonding to these weapons to their users isn't as involved as it may sound, when they were first given the first initial bonding took place. The initial bond doesn't take long, most of it was ceremony, and in fact the entire procedure was done in just a few minutes. This bonding is always the same for any of the senshi's weapons where the users soul is attached to their weapons. The bonding is a needed bond for with out it they could loose the weapon on the battlefield or in deep space. It also has an added benefit of unlocking some of the more dramatic attacks and more because the weapon can be used as a focus. This is true of all soul weapons. However the soul weapons of the Senshi's of Mars and Mercury, as stated earlier, are different in the fact that they can be bonded completely going beyond what is required for what is know as final attacks.
In dire situations Mars and Mercury can completely bond their soul to their respective weapon allowing them to access what is know only to them and the Queen as well as the advisors. Not only do they get increased stamina, power reserves, but they also unlock the final attacks. Such a bond should only be done when there is no other choice. At the beginning of this battle for the palace gates the senshi of Mars and Mercury were fighting all out, but they kept their trump card in reserve. It wasn't until they got a lull in the fighting did they get a chance to see what kind of force they were up against.
There were thousands of them, all baring down on their position. In that brief instant they felt the senshi of Neptune, Uranus, and Venus die as well as the Queen's daughter. It was a hopeless battle, but they would continue until their dying breath as per the Queen they serve and love. It was at this time they activated the final bonding process. In an instant they felt the increased reserves filling their entire bodies and healing them of injuries already taken in the battle thus far. Just a few seconds later they ran towards the enemy hoping to kill as many as they could before they died, because at this point there was no going back.
They fought for 20 minutes and not a single youma escaped their wrath, but for a war that was being waged that was the size of this one there was no hope. Mercury got hit and that signaled the beginning of the end. After what seemed like hours passed in just a few minutes and the senshi's of Mars and Mercury were beaten, their power reserves near empty and the bodies broken. As they lie beside each other they look into each other's eyes and know that they are dying. They could also feel the love that one had for the other, but not the love that lovers would have for each other. This was the love of a friend, and that of a sibling.
After just a handful of minute they lay there holding their weapons close and they feel it. It was the spell that was supposed to send Beryl and her army into a pocket universe, known only as the Negaverse. It was supposed to also send all of the senshi to the future on the planet Earth; such isn't the case with Mars and Mercury. They could feel the spells pass them by; it was then that they realized why they were passed by. It was the weapons, the weapons that they had bonded their souls to. It was a complete bonding and the spell wasn't strong enough to reverse the process. As they lay there with their blood pooling around them they make a silent decision and take hold of the last dregs of their magic and insert their souls into the weapons for this would allow their souls to remain and not pass on to the after life. Right before they finish inserting their souls they cast one final spell that sends the weapons to the Earth in hopes that one-day the senshi reborn and the Princess can find the weapons of Fire and Ice and revive them from the weapons so that they may live again.
end section one
Delta-Theta/Makoto-chan
Also I need a Name for this fic so any help you can give would be great..
The next section will deal with the end of the fight between Ranma and Saffron who has the weapons of Mercury and Mars. Ranma is going to find out what's going on and take the place of Mercury and Mars at the begining of the SM timline.. This means that there is no Ami Mizuno and there isn't a Rei Hino. I need a name for the fic and I also need a name for Ranma when he is in senshi/knight form (depends on gender of course)

[Dark Magic]

You do realize now you left only Jupiter without a weapon. But anyway an interesting idea and it will probably be hard not to make Ranma to powerful especially with the power of two senshi's in him.

[Delta-Theta]

You do realize now you left only Jupiter without a weapon. But anyway an interesting idea and it will probably be hard not to make Ranma to powerful especially with the power of two senshi's in him.

the way I see it Jupiter has a weapon but it isn't anything that she weilds.. it was imbedded into her tiara as a lightning rod ^_^
I don't plan on making Ranma or Mars and Mercury all powerfull there will be limits on what they can do.. for the most part they will know how to do the spells but Ranma's body won't be able to handle the high end spells.. the same for Mars and Mercury for when I get around to reviving them which won't happen untill the Silver Crystal is found...

[TerraBull]

Ranma will take the challenge to channel the high energies/ spells as a way to train and get better, to use his Ki to attune himself to the weapons, and perhaps discover the sleeping intellects within them, awakening the two?
Since they would be more experienced perhaps, they could do their own reading on him, their mutual wielder? And learn more of him, with Ranma leaving his own mark upon the two who are lonely with thier long isolation? I imagine Saffron did not care to explore that avenue and just saw them as a means to power? They experienced what he did, how he did it, but did not share his personal life? If that makes sense, Saffron treated them as the items they looked like, his personal property?
I would picture a scene where he held the staves while he slept, or attuned himself with them, and saw the dream images of the two, and spent time with them? Conversing and other, perhaps becomming his true friends? even if a dream to him? perhaps getting him over his shyness with females? at least for them anyways, because he can sense that they would not mallet him?
*Laugh* Perhaps when they both emerge, they will be as strong as Ranma when unenhanced? and then 'Buffed' when Transformed? I think they would be connected to Ranma though, and him to them due to the association with the staves?
Too many words. ;p
JMO, Write the story!

[Atlan]

Ranma with both the powers of the two staffs and his ki would be pretty overpowered. And everyone would think him the princess instantly.
Why not change the SM timeline more, so that Usagi meets Makoto and Minako before ranma, so he dosent end up doing all the work. Remember- meatball head had to grow up with all the combat, and with ranma arouind that wouldnt happen.

[Nekomata-sensei]

I think a good idea would be for Saffron to have been the first one to discover the staffs. He recognized the incredible power they held and went through many arcane rituals to try and draw out that power. The origional Saffron was able to create Jusenkyo through his experiments, creating links in the taps which connected to Mercury's staff, the Gekkaja, and creating a link to himself in the Kinjakan through mars's connection to ravens when he successfully killed a phoenix in the top pool of Mt. Jusendo.
Without a female, pure of heart weilder, the staffs can't escape the links Saffron forced upon them. Onna-Ranma, as she falls through the Jusendo tap, is the first one to meet the requirements who can properly weild the Gekkaja. Realizing the other senshi are allready awakening, and that this may be the only chance, Mercury's conciousness in the staff, awakened by Ranma's use of it, switches the link from Jusenkyo to Ranma, in the process, curing everyone's Jusenkyo curses except Ranma's and changing the Phoenix and Musk into normal humans.
The staff helps Ranma focus her magical potential to use basic healing magic on Akane and revive her before her soul departs, explaining telepathically as the Phoenix people are changing and Saffron is being reborn that in her current state even though everyone else's Jusenkyo curses were cured, she can't cure Ranma's without loosing her connection to Ranma's magic that keeps her aware, and she's temporarily locked Ranma's curse, and wants Ranma to also save Mars, bring them both back to Tokyo, and help the senshi, using the staffs for the powers of Mars and Mercury to support the senshi, until they can be revived and released from the staffs by the Silver Crystal, and then cure Ranma's curse by removing the connection to Mercury's magic.
Ranma has a telepathic argument with Mercury, who beggs Ranma, saying the world is in danger and only the powers of the senshi can save it, and only Princess Serenity with the Ginsuzishou can permanently undo the actions of the origional Saffron and permanently end the curses of Jusenkyo. Ranma looses the argument and agrees to help. Taking the Kinjakan from the shocked Phoenix People, and then running away from everyone, promising to come back to Nerima once she gets cured like everyone else was.
Ranma activates the connection to Mars, and the combined powers allow Ranma to heal and transform. Being healed and purging most of the non-Mercury/Mars magic from Ranma's body, with the exception of the beneficial phoenix pill and 100 man strength stomach noodle, as well as using the lingering power of the aging mushrooms to regress Ranma's age back to a 13 year old girl, the approximate age of the inner senshi, all this changes Ranma significantly, as Mars' power helps heal Ranma spiritually as well, removing the taints in her aura and helping her merge with the neko-ken, making Ranma's aura practically unrecognizable and leaving no lingering effects from Ranma's training trip and all that. This, combined with a modified version of the disguise magic that protects the senshi's identities in their transformed states, makes Ranma practically unrecognizable to the old Nerima crew, even though she still has pink/red hair and eyes.
Ranma returns to Tokyo and explains the situation to Dr. Tofu, the only person she thinks she can trust, as Dr. Tofu moved out of the Nerima district to teach at a college he found out Kasumi is planning to go to. Dr. Tofu, who's mother has died, decides to take Ranma in until the current mess is solved and the world is saved, he pretends she's a 2nd cousin whose parents died and he's the closest living family member, and her name is Ono Sakura.
Sakura ends up going to Juuban Jr. High in the same year as Usagi and making friends with her and Naru a year before the Negaverse.
Because of certain health limitations, to keep Ranma's aura pure, and to prevent Ranma from being recognized by moves, a lot of Ranma's old techniques are blocked, and the age regression and healing took away some of Ranma's old physical power and ki reserves. Even Ranma's basic battle aura techniuqes from before left taint because they used emotional focuses, Ranma can't use the Soul of Ice or the Moukou Takabisha, even though Ranma has the basic movement style of the neko-ken, she doesn't have the power boosts, and the Amaguriken is like the first few of the 8 celestial gates of the Naruto series, opening up Ranma's limits at the cost of damaging the body, but to properly channel the senshi magic, it's best if Ranma's body is undamaged and her aura pure and healthy. Because of this Ranma no longer even possesses the strength and speed he had at the beggining of the series, although his skill is a bit higher and Ranma possesses a subspace pocket for a super version of the Hidden Weapons technique.
To make up for this, and to keep Ranma's anything goes style from being recognized, Dr. Tofu trains Sakurain his Tai-Chi-Chuan, Aikido, and medical ninja style, teaching Sakura ninja techniques which rely on Sakura's magical power to boost physical abilities, especially physical strength and using ninja stealth and detection techniques, to make up for the fact that Sakura will be working with magically boosted humans, but doesn't actually have a full transformation like the senshi are supposed to because he doesn't really have a planetary tap. Also, to prevent the Phoenix People or others from recognizing the Kinjakan and Gekkaja, Sakura causes the staffs to return to their origional forms, a quarterstaff for Mercury, and a straight, long knife (large dagger) for Mars, which the origional Saffron had modified in his experiments to make them into keys. Sakura creates a fighting style based on using the staff and dagger and using their powers individually and together.
As an added twist. When Sailor Moon finally gets the Ginsuzishou and Ranma's past is explained, Ranma realizes that she's happier as Sakura than she ever was as Ranma, and wants to stay with her friends. Sailor Moon accepts Ranma's wish and when she releases Sailor Mars and Sailor Mercury from their sealed states, she also grants Ranma's wish to stay Sakura, using her powers to reincarnate her soul as a real girl and make her a real senshi, taking the Kinsuzishou from the currently evil and controlled Tuxedo Mask, who can't really use it because he's not female, and making Sakura into Sailor Terra, who also uses similar, but more powerful attacks than Tuxedo Mask (golden colored energy blasts, magical interruption and dispelling, flower attacks, only for her it's razor sharp Sakura blossoms that she can send flying around and control rather than sharp ended roses, and some weaker healing powers).
Endymion retains his powers however because he still is a prince of Earth and he only had the Kinsuzishou because he was the only child of the previous Sailor Terra, who'd been part of a separate Kingdom than the Sailor Senshi. Near the end of the Negaverse saga, they discover that Ranma's family on his mother's side were actually decendants of the origional surviving Earth royalty, so Sakura really is a reincarnated princess now as well, if you go by technicalities, and is distantly related to both Beyrl and Endyminion.
The presence of the old Sailor Mars and Mercury, as well as Sakura's martial arts experiences that she remembers from her previous (and first) incarnation as Ranma, cause the inner senshi group to be quite a bit more serious about training in their magical powers and fighting skills and working well as a team, and thus, they all survive the Negaverse Saga, and Sailor Moon doesn't reset everything, but instead they free all the captives who were having their energy constantly drained and revive the generals, releasing them from the mind control they'd been under. One of the generals was involved with Sailor Mercury before being controlled by Metalia/Beryl and they end up posing as a married couple, while Sailor Mars takes over an abandoned shrine, with Sakura working at the shrine in the afternoons as a Miko under her. (Ranma displays evidence of psychic and spritual power in the series, including often running into ghosts and spirits, and one or two prophetic dreams, so I'll assume she has potential to be a miko)
For an energy system and powers model, use this, senshi can't use unhealthy techniques, such as any chi manipulation techniques, strange aura techniques, ect. As far as ki goes they can only use a pure battle aura, or pure ki blasts, which is more difficult than an emotionally focused battle aura or ki blasts, also, their planetary connection gives them a ki tap, the reason the senshi are so much stronger, tougher, faster, and heal faster than normal people is because their transformations flood their bodies with planetary ki, the reason the transformations can be exhausting is because of the potential to burn their ki paths with too much ki if they push themselves too much. Reiki is spiritual energy, dealing with psychic powers, telepathy, etc. Normally this power takes extreeme training or circumstances to use (think untransformed cannon Sailor Mars, Yu-Yu-Hakushou or Shaman King for examples of what spiritual energy can do) but some possess special things they can do with this energy, for example, miko get speical abilities they can use instinctively or at least with less training than normal, Sailor Saturn's healing power use her speical reiki, and the Kinsuzishou and Ginsuzishou functioning for Sailor Earth and Sailor Moon respectively can convert their reiki into extra magical power. Reiki and ki can be mixed in the chakra coils system to create chakra, which is a very raw and hard to do fine tuned control with form of magic, used by ninja, and by the 4 generals once they are released from the Negaverse powers (see Naruto series). Some souls possess a magical core, which generates a purer form of magic that is more potent and easier for the person possessing it to control (see Nanoha series). The heart crystal is the core of a soul, where the magical core normally resides, a pure heart crystal is possessed by someone who is pure of heart, pure heart crystals are made of completely transparant crystal which glows with the power of the magical core possessed within it, if the person has magical potential. The heart crystal and magical core are the parts of a soul that get reincarnated, they don't posses gender, but the heart crystal does store some memories from past lives. Senshi star seeds are pure heart crystals fused with the magical core of a celestial body to make them indestructable so long as the celestial body remains, but since the way gravity affects magic causes these cores to be female in nature, this forces any pure heart crystals fused with these to possess a soul that _does_ have a gender aspect to it.
The Ginsuzishou is actually a more advanced version of the fused celestial cores. It has been stabalized furthur, had protections placed upon it, and been turned into a super magical control device infused with the knowledge and wisdom of the entire Serenity line which guides it's current user to control their magic with fine tuned control and grants them incredible natural wisdom and leadership skills which occasionally manifest stronger when neccesary even before they grow into it. It is similar to the Magical control devices in the Nanoha series, only rather than being based on programming it's simply infused with the knowledge and wisdom of the Serenity line. The Kinsuzishou is the same as the Ginsuzishou, but it only had one previous user who had to figure her powers out on her own (Endyminion's mother) so it's powers are more limited and less versitle, since it doesn't have as much knowledge and wisdom infused in it, although as Sakura gets more magical training it's power will grow, because her knowledge and wisdom will be infused in it.

[DCG]

starting with "I think" then spending 3 pages telling some one how to write there fic is not good c&c.

[WG_Writer]

Nekomata-sensei
That sounds like an interesting take, but it would be much easier to not use Ranma at all, unless you restore the techniques and curse later. Honestly from what I read Ono Sakura is an OC and not Ranma, if you ignore her origin.
That is a delicate line to be walked between Ranma and OC, it does seem to Deus Ex, Ranma out of his life and character definine traits, thus you need to create improved reasons for the sudden change.

[Nekomata-sensei]

I guess you're right, I tend to get carried away like that, sorry. But it does depend on how you write things. I think I can clearly see Sakura Ono having a personality just like Ranma and spending most of her time telepathically complaining to the weapons about wanting to change back to a guy.
It's the weapons that are trying to make her stay undercover as a girl, because they need to maintain the connection to her. If the connection is lost, Ranma will be cured of the Jusenkyo curse and won't be able to trigger them again. Or at least that was how I was thinking of it.

[Tonyloco]

I guess you're right, I tend to get carried away like that, sorry. But it does depend on how you write things. I think I can clearly see Sakura Ono having a personality just like Ranma and spending most of her time telepathically complaining to the weapons about wanting to change back to a guy.
It's the weapons that are trying to make her stay undercover as a girl, because they need to maintain the connection to her. If the connection is lost, Ranma will be cured of the Jusenkyo curse and won't be able to trigger them again. Or at least that was how I was thinking of it.

But, the whole lockig the curse, to obtain their goals sucks, not only they are abusing the person who is helping them, but also would have a Ranma fighting them tooh and nail to recover his male for.
Honestly I dislike the whole lock of the curse, it's overused and usually hurts the story more than helping it.
It makes it sounds like they are blackmailing him to do their will if he ever wants to get his true form back.
I think that the story would work a lot better and be less angsty from Ranma's pouint of view if the witter keeps the curse but donesn't locks it.
Tony

[WG_Writer]

But, the whole lockig the curse, to obtain their goals sucks, not only they are abusing the person who is helping them, but also would have a Ranma fighting them tooh and nail to recover his male for.
Honestly I dislike the whole lock of the curse, it's overused and usually hurts the story more than helping it.
It makes it sounds like they are blackmailing him to do their will if he ever wants to get his true form back.
I think that the story would work a lot better and be less angsty from Ranma's pouint of view if the witter keeps the curse but donesn't locks it.
Tony

Locking can be fine for a short period, but if you start affecting the personality and remove any chance as male he would be very unhappy. The undercover as Sakura Ono is not in itself a bad idea. But you are putting too much time on Ranma for it. I say lock it for a month at most, especially combined with the age reducing mushrooms. Then make it so Ranma can still be linked as a guy to them but it takes longer to build a connection when he is, and he links better and is better able to use their powers when a girl.
That is the best comprimize I can come up with.

[Delta-Theta]

ok heres the basic timline of the fic I am writing. as you can see the spell that was supposed to send all the senshi forward bypassed Mercury and Mars..
that being said the next section is going to deal with the last part of the fight between Ranma and Saffron around the time that Ranma freezes himself.
he is going to hear Mercury talking to him telling him what he should do.. after the fight he is going to take the staves for safe keeping.. (more on that later) anyway he is going to hide the staves in weapon space like what mousse does. this way he will be in constant contact with him and no one will know that he has them. except for Akane, but she's going to figure it out on her own..
anyway I am not going to have Ranma challenge anything on geting more power out his main objective is to find the crystal and the princess and revive Mercury and Mars.. they will know how to do the spells and attacks and be able to tell Ranma how to do them but he won't have the ability because of the strain. He will only be able to do basic attacks. Granted he will have a power up because of his Ki.
He will be better but not by much.. he will grow in power and stay ahead of the rest of the senshi. when he is looking for the princess he won't know where to start so he is staying in Nerima training to use the weapons. when he hears a report of Moon around the Juban area that's when he leaves.
when Mars and Mercury are revived they will have NEW bodies and will have to train them again to get back where they used to be. so that means they won't be as powerfull as they were..
In order for Ranma to use the weapons he is going to have to do an initial bonding this isn't a complete bonding just one that will let his use the weapons and the planetary magic of Mars and Mercury.
one last thing.. I like the comment but Nekomata Please remember that I am trying to write a fic I already have a basic timeline down and what's going to happen.. some things can change like the order in which I have down but not what will happen or anything.. the curse won't be locked EVER.. nor will I change anything else.. the main differance in the SM timeline that I am changes at this moment is that Rei and Ami will not exsist the families might but not them.. Ranma is going to take the place of Ami and Rei... every thing will stay the same to a certain degree...
if you want to write somthing along the same idea then Please go ahead, but please give me a footnote somewhere
Thanks
Delta-Theta/Makoto-chan

[Dark Magic]

Sounds like an interesting idea, so until Ranma can get Mercury and Mars in a sense to where their own bodies is he treated much like a Senshi in which he has to transform to use the powers or is it going to be like Ranma that can also do ice and fire moves?

[Ozzallos]

[Removed at poster request]

[Delta-Theta]

Sounds like an interesting idea, so until Ranma can get Mercury and Mars in a sense to where their own bodies is he treated much like a Senshi in which he has to transform to use the powers or is it going to be like Ranma that can also do ice and fire moves?

well yeah in a sense.. Ranma isn't going to be a 'medium' in which the senshi can act in the real world.. he will be a replacement for them till he can get them revived and in new bodies. so yeah he will have the whole transformation thing.. he is, depending on gender, the knight or senshi!
also he can still use the basic funtions of the staves but that's all untill he transforms. the staves have their own magic, but the higher end stuff like senshi attacks he would have to be the senshi to do them.