Temple of Ranma's Sailor Senshi Seifuku

The chapter is finally finished. Please look on Page four for the story. It was too long to put in this post.

Excellent. The WAFF is strong in this one. I like. Ideas? It would be fun to have Nashigi and Gosaria visit the Malfoys. I'd really like to see how Lucius would react to their excentricities. Of course, there's the obligatory shopping tour, with a lot of embarrassing moments.

Here are some things I noticed:



spot errors, lease point => please

a quick phase-through => quickly phasing through

The case was not so at the moment => That wasn't the case

daughter, and grand-daughter can’t have => granddaughter

If any man ever tried coming onto me => tries

Wow good chapter, really funny and tormenting to poor Lina. As for ideas for Lina and Narcissa, maybe you can have Lina thinking Narcissa isn't so bad for understanding, and then have it turned aroun and Lina think's Narcissa is terrible because she keeps introducing her to girls hoping they'll get together. Also lots of clothes shopping for cute dresses, and showing Lina off to all her freinds. Just try to annoy her as much as possible, maybe have Lina's freinds come over and Narcissa thinks they are in love or something.

Both you and I are going to have so much fun!

It's shorter/easier/more elegant to say "We're going to have so much fun!". There are reasons to go either way, but Narcissa seems to be in a we-family mode rather than a you-and-I mode.

Dumbledork: Hmm... perhaps it would be interesting for Gosaria and Nashigi to visit. I was planning on having Ranma visit their houses later on when she goes to get them before going to Japan, but it does make sense for them to make a short visit.

And yeah, I was planning on the two -- perhaps with Lucius and Draco as well -- making a trip to Diagon Alley with a possible inclusion of Knockturn Alley. However, Hogsmeade or some other small wizarding shopping areas could possibly work.

jasonjkay: Narcissa decides that they should keep her daughter's preferences a secret from Lucius. He would be less... understanding than her with the whole idea.

And Narcissa and Ranma will attempt to come to an agreement regarding clothing styles and all, but Narcissa will still insist on her wearing cute things from time to time.

Ellen: Thanks, that does sound a lot better.

And how about a visit to the Time Gates? Hehehe, would be fun if Laira ate the Time Gates.

Yeah, I thought about Ranma visiting Pluto again. She still has the key, just doesn't remember. Because of Laira fiddling around with their shared sub-space storage pocket, they find it.

Although, I doubt Laira eating the gates would be a good idea. XD

KonokoHasano wrote:Although, I doubt Laira eating the gates would be a good idea. XD

Why not, Laira could turn into an immortal time traveling cabbit. Even better, in ship form she could ferry Ranma around time and get into seriouse trouble, maybe even meet the original lina inverse. Still I suppose Pluto would be ultra pissed off. Also I wonder if sailor pom pom will ever meet another senshi, that could be a laugh.

Sailor Pom Pom meeting the other senshi is a given. After all, it has been said before that Ranma will meet the senshi in a few years.

Messing around with time travel would be more dangerous than anything, and I don't think Ranma would willingly want to bring more trouble like that. Plus, pissing off Sailor Pluto by eating the Gates of Time would not be good for a friendship.

Of course, Laira eating the Time-Turner from Year Three could create the same effect, plus it would be removing a possible issue and threat from the scene. The ability of time travel in the hands of a bunch of wizards and witches couldn't possibly lead to anything good, and I don't think Sailor Pluto would like the idea either considering that she is the Guardian of Time. Hell, Pluto could give Ranma the task of finding and removing any kind of time-interference object that she finds.

The acidic liquid that Laira can shoot could honestly be considered as Alkahest, the hypothetical universal solvent that was once -- and still is by some -- sought after by alchemists. The Philosopher's Stone was the cause of the change, and so Laira now holds some alchemic abilities.

Ha... it would be amusing to have Laira watch/read Fullmetal Alchemist and find out that she can use some basic alchemy.

Just a personal opinion, but I tend to think that Lina should end up more like Ranma-chan in *ahem* development in the long run

A time-travelling cabbit-ship sounds unnervingly like a tardis...

Questara wrote:Also, just a personal opinion, but I tend to think that Lina should end up more like Ranma-chan in *ahem* development in the long run

I was thinking about that. Basically, I was thinking about having her 'assets' be almost non-existent until 'Fourth Year'. Then, during/after 'Fourth Year', she starts to develop.

Ellen: A disturbing concept indeed.

Ranma starting to develop in 4th year only is great. But then it should go really fast for the shock factor. And I'd especially like to see Portrait!Lina's reaction to that and cry about the unfairness of it all.

And what are your plans in the long run for Lucius? Will he try to recruti Ranma and Draco as death eaters for Moldyshorts? After all, Ranko would be a really great asset for Tom.

Ellen Kuhfeld wrote:A time-travelling cabbit-ship sounds unnervingly like a tardis...

he, he, busted. Still it would be a lot better and way cooler than the tardis, still time travel is very dangerous and confusing.


As for Ranma's assets, they either have to be none existent or really big, as being female is meant to annoy poor Ranma and large assests would do that. She would be happy about having no assets but people would keep annoying her about it and she cant scam ice cream as easily.