Veela One Half Chapter 2

[Dumbledork]

Previous chapters can be found here

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4811634/1/Veela_One_Half

It's been a long time in the making but here's the new chapter. I still have to re-check it for any mistakes I've missed, but otherwise the chapter is complete

CHAPTER 2


*** FLASHBACK 2nd PART ***


Genma’s lack of reaction was understandable of course, since he was still under the effect of the spell, but his bulging eyes were explicit enough. The unfortunate man was shocked of course and if he could move he’d probably deny it, but being incapacitated and without means to lash out at his tormentors he had time to think. His brain was working in overdrive and it took only mere seconds for Genma to come to the conclusion that it was quite possible since they hadn’t used any contraceptives that night. Then his eyes started to water, but it was impossible to determine whether it was of joy or sorrow; probably the latter. Inwardly Genma was praying and the poor man hoped that they wouldn’t kill him for impregnating the girl.


One of the men slowly approached the frightened martial artist. Genma immediately noticed the resemblance with Nodoka and it was quite obvious that they had to be related. He had Nodoka’s eyes and nose. “Genma! I am Nodoka’s father, Kazu Saotome. If I lift the spell, do you promise not to run away and to listen to what we have to say? Blink twice if you agree.”


After Genma had complied the stranger made a swish gesture with his wand and Genma was able to move again. The martial artist immediately got up and with lightning quick reflexes knocked the wand out of the surprised man’s hand and jumped out of the window… only to be stopped and thrown back by some kind of invisible barrier. Several spells hit him at the same time and he was once again incapacitated, just like before. He inwardly cursed since he was sure the men wouldn’t make the same mistake twice and that he’d just wasted his only chance of escape. Knowing that they would be more alert from now and having lost all hope he stopped resisting and hoped that whatever they had in store for him, they’d get it over with quickly; he couldn’t stop them anyway.


“That really shouldn’t have surprised me after all I’ve heard about you, Genma Takahashi.” The man sneered. “Always running away from your responsibilities. Well, not this time. We came prepared and there’s no way that you can get through that barrier spell. I gave you a chance. I thought we could talk about the consequences of you having you way with my little daughter like adults, but you just confirmed the information I got from people that know you: you can’t be trusted. Listen, and listen well. The Saotome family NEVER lets anyone make a fool out of them. You knocked up the heiress of the clan for your cheap thrills and there’s unfortunately only one possibility for us to avoid losing face. You will marry Nodoka today. And don’t even think that you will be able to run away from your responsibilities. We won’t lift the spells incapacitating you until you’re in a tuxedo and in front of the priest… with our wands pointed at you just to make sure. You might be able to dodge one or two spells coming at you, but a whole volley… not a chance. Now it’s time to meet your future family.”


One by one the Saotomes introduced themselves to the incapacitated man while glaring daggers at him. It was obvious they really didn’t want to have the commoner muggle become a member of their family, but they had no choice. Abortion was simply out of the question and they would lose a lot of honor if they did that… well if it ever came out at least, but the Saotome were one of the oldest and most respected magical families in Japan and it was almost impossible to keep something like that a secret, especially since Nodoka was stupid enough to curse Genma’s name loud enough to be heard throughout the hospital after she gt the news of her pregnancy. Obliviating a few people would have been possible; after all, the Saotome were above the laws applicable to normal folk, but obliviating a whole hospital was above even their means. The only way to avoid a scandal was to come up with a good cover story which was that that Nodoka had married a wealthy and important businessman in secret in order to avoid being in the spotlight.


“Levicorpus” Kazu Saotome pointed his wand at a very surprised Genma, who was slowly rising in the air, feeling completely weightless. He was floating upright and could see everything that was going on around him, such as his attackers forming a circle around an old sock lying on a table while Mr. Saotome was constantly checking the time with the tempus spell, a very useful spell that indicates the current time and date as precisely as would a radio clock.


“It’s time,” he announced after having checked the time one last time. He then grabbed Genma’s leg and the sock. The other wizards approached and took hold of the sock too. A few second later they were gone in a flash leaving the room completely empty. A loud *pop* announced their arrival at another location. Used to apparating the Saotome family members looked completely unfazed, which was definitely not the case for Genma. The martial artist had turned an unhealthy shade of green and looked quite sick and he’d probably have thrown up already if he weren’t completely paralyzed.


Mr. Saotome cancelled the spell and Genma fell to the floor flat on his face. A little bit dazed he got up and froze when he saw the wands pointed at him once again.


“As you can see,” Nodoka’s father continued, “you’re completely surrounded and have no chance to escape. Welcome to the Saotome manor, one of the most heavily warded locations in Japan. Only members of the Saotome clan are keyed into the protections of this place and traveling the grounds alone, unaccompanied by a member of the clan can be deadly. So don’t try anything stupid if you value your life. Personally I’d prefer to simply dispose of you, but Nodoka giving birth to her child out of wedlock would reflect badly on the family, and so I have no choice but to let you marry my little sunshine. Consider it an honor to become part of one of the most prominent magical clans in Japan, even if you’re only a muggle.”


Before the young martial artist could protest he was roughly pushed through the door by Mr. Saotome and his entourage and led to another room a few doors away. Nodoka was being led away by two women that had been waiting in the room for their arrival. The young martial artist was pushed into the new room and was shocked by what he saw, a mannequin wearing some very expensive and high quality wedding hakama and accessories. “Surprised?” The older man smirked at Genma’s bewildered look. “Don’t be. With time you will come to learn that I hate ineffectiveness. I started preparations as soon as I was made aware of the pregnancy. No Saotome child will ever be born out of wedlock.”


“Jiro! Akira! Nobu! You three stay here with the groom until he’s ready. Always keep your wands aimed at him. He’s a tricky one and will probably and I wouldn’t put it past him to use every trick he knows to get away. I have to talk with the priest.”


As he was walking away he gave the unwilling groom one last piece of advice. “Don’t try anything stupid, Genma. You have no idea how powerful the Saotomes are and the means we have at our disposal.”


The icy tone in which the message was delivered chilled Genma to the bones and he realized that the powerful man didn’t make empty threats and was quite willing to resort to force as his abduction has proven. Recognizing how hopeless his situation really was he decided to just get it over with and go through with the stupid ceremony.


After Nodoka’s father had left the three men who were left behind led Genma into the adjacent bathroom at wandpoint where he was forced to take a bath and shave, much to the martial artist’s outrage, as he hated being treated like that. He obeyed however since he was quite sure his guards wouldn’t hesitate to take some drastic measures against him if he didn’t comply. Having finished in the bathroom two female servants entered and helped him into the formal attire he would be getting married in. All of this hadn’t taken more than twenty minutes and soon Genma was ready to get married, or like he preferred to think, ready to face his doom.


He was then taken to a waiting room and about an hour later Kazu came back to tell him that the priest had arrived and that the ceremony would start very soon.


*** END FLASHBACK ***


“There’s not much to tell about the wedding ceremony proper as it was nothing out of the ordinary, except for the wands that were pointed at me, of course.”


“Wizards and witches?” Magic? Do you really want me to believe that? You’ve come up with a lot of lame stories over the years but this one probably takes the cake. If…”


Before he could continue his rant he was interrupted by the elder. “And what about curses then?” She enquired. “Aren’t they real either, even if you’re afflicted by one? Believe me, magic is very real and all around us. Just because you haven’t witnessed any before your accident here doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Wizards are a very secretive folk and hide their world from muggles. Don’t dismiss your father’s story. I’m convinced he told the truth.”


That shut him up good. The old woman was right. What was a curse if not some kind of magic? He then looked at his father. “If that is true, why was I never told about it before? Was it fair to let me believe my mother was dead and that I didn’t have any family left? And here I never thought you could sink even lower. You know that I’ve always longed to be part of a loving family, and all of these years I had relatives I never knew about. Well, as soon as I’ve dealt with the curse I’ll go and see my mother. I don’t care about the problems you’ve had with her and my grandfather. I’d like to meet them.”


“I’m sorry but you can’t.” Genma contradicted, giving his son a sorrowful look. “If you let me finish my story you’ll learn why. I had a very good reason for taking you away from those bastards.” He took a deep breath figuring out how to continue. It was a painful memory and it would probably devastate the poor boy who already had so much on his plate.


“I’ve told you about the marriage, right? Well, things didn’t really improve at all afterwards. My in-laws resented me for defiling their daughter and the whole family reminded me of that fact every day. Your mother didn’t acknowledge me at all and I was all but imprisoned in a small house on the estate and shunned by everyone except for some servants. I can’t really say that they treated me bad but I felt like an outcast anyway and had only contact with the servants. I have to admit that I got almost everyone I wanted except for the thing I wanted most, my freedom. I was only ever allowed to leave the estate when I had to accompany my ‘wife’ to some dinners or other social gatherings. I think I hated that even more than being a prisoner; having to pretend that Nodoka and I were a happy family and that all was well.


Things changed when you were born, though. Everyone was happy to see the next heir to the family even if his father was a muggle. Your mother fell immediately in love with you and doted on you all the time. Our relation even improved to the point that we were talking to each other again and my in-laws allowed us to live together. From one day to the to the next it seemed that the rift between us had never existed and I didn’t resent the forced marriage any longer after I saw how much your mother cared for you. She was once again the girl I met back in Nerima and that I had had a good time with.


Unfortunately, like so often, good things don’t last for long. All was fine for the first three years of your life, but slowly our relation degraded when it became more and more obvious that you didn’t have any magic. Let me explain that a little bit. Usually children from wizards tend to use accidental magic whenever they are in danger. This is one of the ways to see if a child is talented or not. Wizards have some very strange ideas and some go so far as to put their children in danger just to see if they have potential. Naturally, my in-laws were insane enough to try the same. Sometimes I even had to laugh at the ideas they came up with to frighten you into using your magic. Unfortunately, it didn’t work and by the time you were four they pretty much had abandoned you and I was the only one who took care of you. Nodoka’s reaction hurt me the most however. While she spent a lot of time with you when you were little she grew cold over time when she realized that you were probably a squib. In the end she couldn’t even stand to be in your presence any more.


As you can probably imagine I haven’t had a good opinion of the Wizarding World ever since I was coerced into this farce of a marriage and this made me really hate the Saotomes and their bigotry. You must know that squibs are outcasts and never get any fair chance to land a good job; they are the burakumin of the Wizarding World. This is even worse if it is a prominent family who gives birth to a squib. Since you didn’t have any future in their world I decided to take you away and teach you the only thing I was good at: martial arts. I thought that it would give you at least some skills you could put to use later on and live a decent life with normal people. Much to my surprise I was given the permission to leave with you. They probably figured it would be easier to cover up if you weren’t there.


The official reason they gave to explain our absence was that we went abroad to get you some specialized magical training.”


Ranma looked at his father in awe. He’d always known that the bespectacled man was a great martial artist, but hadn’t had much respect for him outside of the art due to his cowardly nature and dishonesty. This new information however made sense and answered some of the teenager’s questions as to his father’s motives. He was sure that his father hadn’t lied this time since he was a rather bad liar.


Unfortunately for the poor boy his father hadn’t finished his narration and the information about to be revealed would ruin any chances of him ever meeting his family.


“That’s not so bad. Maybe I can visit in a while even if they don’t welcome me with open arms,” he hoped.


“Impossible!” The boy’s father proclaimed. “I told you that they are bigots. Like most other pure-blood wizarding families the Saotomes are xenophobic and refuse to associate with magical creatures of any kind. It simply is beneath them. And I’m sure that veelas count as magical creatures.”


“Your father is correct,” Cologne confirmed. “Veelas are classified as magical creatures. Due to their great strength, power over fire, and charming powers they are often feared and even actively hunted in some countries to get potion ingredients or to be sold as prostitutes. I believe that the Japanese Wizarding Government is strangely enough more progressive than the government of some other countries and protect magical creatures… on paper at least. In reality wizards are afraid of things don’t understand and don’t trust any inhuman creature making it almost impossible for them to find a job. Squibs have it easier since they are human and can simply go to the Muggle World to find work. Because of their inhuman nature magical creatures can’t do that. The Wizarding Communities of every country in the world are actively trying to hide their world from the eyes of muggles and that includes magical creatures.”


Ranma couldn’t believe his ears. Knowing that one’s family was alive yet being barred from ever meeting them was a fate almost worse than death. Before he could attack his father once more for having completely ruined his life the older man kneeled in front of his son and solemnly bowed, his forehead touching the ground. “Please forgive me, son. I never wanted this to happen. I don’t know why I even chose to come here. It just seemed to be a good idea at the time. I can’t help it. My brain somehow short-circuits whenever I hear about a new training ground or unbeatable technique. It’s like my brain is compelling me to try out the techniques on you. I’m still ashamed for teaching you the nekoken. I’ll try everything I can to find a cure for the curse.”


“Excuse me,” Cologne interrupted and stepped in front of the cowering man. “Did you say compulsion?”


“Yes,” he confirmed as he lifted his head. “A voice always tells me to try it out, that it would make the boy stronger, and I simply can’t resist.”


“Hmmm…” the elder paced up and down and thought about the implications of that statement. She had a very good idea of what must have happened, but she had to bring the pair to the village to confirm her suspicions. “Did anything unusual happen before you left with your son on the training journey? Anything out of the ordinary?”


Genma thought about it for a while and even if it had been a long time ago he could still remember the day very clearly. There was one thing that really stood out that day but he was not sure if it was important. Still, the old woman asked him for anything out of the ordinary and this was the only thing that came to mind. “There was something unusual, but I don’t know if it will be of any help. Shortly before I left my father-in-law asked me to join him in his study, which really surprised me since he usually didn’t even acknowledge my presence. Here’s where things get a little fuzzy. I remember joining him in the room but not much of what had happened there. At the end he pat me on the shoulder and wished me luck on my journey. That was really strange coming from him, but I didn’t dwell on it.”


“I see,” Cologne said. “You’re sure that you can’t remember more of your discussion with Mr. Saotome?”


“Sorry, but that’s all I remember. There seems to be a gap in my memories concerning that particular event.”


“I have my suspicions,” she told the martial artists, “but you’ll have to come with me to my village for confirmation. I don’t have the means to verify my theory on my person. But here’s what I think. It’s my firm belief that your father-in-law subjected you to the Confundus Charm. It’s not as bad as the three unforgivable curses, but it’s still illegal to cast it on another human being. The Confundus Charm befuddles the mind and allows the caster to implant some insidious ideas or concepts into the victim’s mind. In my opinion it was something like ‘insane techniques produce the best results’. There can be only explanation as to why he would have done it. He probably hoped you’d try something so stupid that it would kill the boy. If they are really as bad as you make them out to be it’s something that would be right up their alley. They wouldn’t even need to get their hands dirty. I don’t think there’s any act more despicable than trying to murder one’s own family. Humans definitely are the cruelest animals in the world.”


To say that the teen and his father were shocked would be an understatement. Horrified would come closer, but the word wasn’t strong enough to describe how they felt. The look in their eyes said it all. You didn’t have to be very perceptive to recognize that this act of betrayal hat literally shut down their minds. They had seen and heard a lot over the ten years they’d been traveling together, but being subjected themselves to such an act was almost unbearable.


Ranma vowed here and then that he would never return to his rightful home. No way in hell would he ever associate with monsters like that. Real monsters probably cared more about their offspring than his family did, as sad as it was. They didn’t even deserve being called human beings. If this was typical behavior for wizards the pigtailed boy was happy that his father had gotten them away from that world.


Genma had a lot of shortcomings, and he was the first to admit it... inwardly at least, but discriminating against other people was not one of them. To him actions meant more than mere words. Anybody with a sharp tongue can lie, but it’s through your actions that you prove what kind of person you are. This new piece of information confirmed that he had done the right thing. He wasn’t too worried about his son however. The boy was a survivor and he was sure that he would overcome this trial too. He was confident that he had trained the boy over the years well enough to defeat any mage. After all, while he didn’t neglect any aspects of the art he had put emphasis on Ranma’s speed and intuition turning him into perfect weapon against wizards. What good is a wand if you can’t hit your target? Additionally, he had sharpened the boy’s senses to such an extent that he unconsciously evades any attack, even in his sleep.


He had taught his son almost everything he knew except for the forbidden techniques. Although he had vowed to never use them again that didn’t mean he couldn’t teach them, and this latest treachery by his in-laws confirmed his intention to teach the boy everything he’d ever need to survive. The senkens would be quite an ace against his enemies, especially if the Saotomes should target his son directly.


“I suggest we leave for the village. It’s already late and I wouldn’t want to miss the end of the annual tournament. Are you coming?” She asked the Japanese. She then turned towards the guide who had been silently listening to the conversation. “Thank you for helping them. Goodbye.”


“It was nothing,” he said. “I was just doing my job. Too bad they never listen. Well, I wish you luck and hope that you somehow will be able to cure your curses, although I doubt it is possible. Take care.”


They thanked the guide for his help and followed Cologne out of the valley. Very soon Genma and Ranma involuntarily figured out one of annoying things about the curses, the water attraction. As they were going along the cliffs surrounding Jusenkyo they were drenched by a sudden localized downpour that only lasted for a few seconds but was enough to trigger their curses.


“I know it’s a little late now to tell you, but you should always keep and umbrella on you. The curses have turned you into water magnets. The more you fight the curses the more water related accidents will happen. It can be very annoying I’ve heard.”


“Now you tell us,” the young veela grumbled as she was removing her gi top to wring it out. Just then some loud noises could be heard as something was tramping through the surrounding woods. She was about to put her gi back on when a bandanna wearing teen wearing a huge backpack emerged from the forest at full speed cursing very loudly and looking from right to left like he was searching for something. As soon as he saw the beautiful half naked creature in front of him his brain overloaded and not paying attention where he was going he ran straight ahead right off the cliff and into the valley below. Very soon they heard a heavy splash and then nothing.


“Hehehe... Oops!” The blonde scratched the back of her head in embarrassment. “Erm… how about we continue on our way? There’s nothing we can do here and we should hurry away from here to avoid another accident like that. I’m sure the guide is already helping him.” No way would she stay around. She had enough problems already. As they resumed their trip she couldn’t get the poor teen out of her mind. She was sure she’d seen him somewhere before, but she had no idea where. Ah well, she was sure it would come back to her in time and as soon as she found a cure to her curse she’d make it up to him.


In the meantime Cologne and Genma were answering the questions the young martial artist asked them about the Wizarding World. She learned a lot and found the idea of using magic very intriguing. Her father even urged her to learn as much as she could if she was able to.


“Do you really thing I’ll be able to learn magic?” She asked the matriarch. I’m a… what did father call it again? A squib I think.”


“I don’t know,” Cologne answered. “Sorcery at least shouldn’t be a problem. I’ve told you before that veela are natural sorceresses with an affinity for fire if you remember. I can’t say for sure if you’ll be able to use wand magic; we’ll have to test you in the village. However, I’m very confident that it will work.”


“I’m not sure if I should learn it though. After all, magic is the cause for all my problems. If it weren’t for magic I would have a family and wouldn’t be cursed.”


“Ah, but you shouldn’t look at it that way. Nothing in this world is black and white. Take the wizards for example. They always classify everything as either dark magic or light magic. I think that it’s a misconception. There is no light or dark magic; it all depends on the intentions of the person using a spell. Take the levitation charm for example. It allows you to lift objects without touching them. Now imagine someone lifting a large rock and levitating it over someone’s head and let it fall. It’s one of the easiest spells to learn, yet it can be deadly if used with the intention to harm. Not unlike martial arts. Martial arts can be used to protect people, yet it they also be used to kill them. Look at it this way. If you learn wand magic you’ll have an easier time fighting against it since you’ll know how it works and will be better prepared to defend against it.”


The young girl had to agree with the elder in every point. It made sense after all. Didn’t Sun Tzu himself say ‘Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a thousand battles without disaster’. “One thing’s been bothering me. You’re always talking about muggles and squibs. Those words don’t sound very Japanese to me. How come?”


“That’s easy to answer,” the elder explained. “Wand magic originates from Europe; from Great Britain specifically, English has been established as the official language of the Magical World. In most countries young wizards are taught English in schools.”


“There’s another important fact you have to know about wizards, and pure-bloods especially,” she continued. “They are very set in their ways. Wizards haven’t changed much over the centuries and usually don’t mingle with muggles. Most of them are unaware of the technological advances of the Muggle World and have never seen a television or even a phone. Basically, they think that muggles are uncultured and beneath them. Their reasoning seems to be ‘why change something that works?’”


She shook her head at the stupidity of it all. “Most don’t remember or chose to forget that wand magic is a rather young discipline in Asia. In fact, it hasn’t been imported until the late 1500s by the English. As wand magic is much easier to learn than other, older magic arts like voodoo, sorcery, shamanism, necromancy, or druidism and much more versatile most mages have abandoned tradition and embraced wizardry. Over the last few centuries the number of practitioners has been steadily declining to such an extent that it won’t probably take more than two centuries for every other magical discipline to disappear. It’s sad but there’s not much we can do about it. At least in my village we try to keep the old traditions alive although we have some very talented witches amongst us. Wizardry has spread so fast because even people who are magically weak can learn it since the wands help challenge their magic, as low as it may be. That’s also the wizards’ major weakness. Take away their wands and they are basically useless, unless they can cast wandless magic, but only a few of the most powerful wizards are able to do that. That’s why I really urge you to develop your sorcery skills. It will be an additional weapon in your arsenal; a weapon most wizards will be helpless against and that they can’t take away from you.”


“You are right,” the young sorceress acquiesced. “I’ve nothing to lose. If it doesn’t work it’s no big loss. I’ll still have my martial arts.”


Genma had been listening to the whole conversation, but didn’t say anything. He too agreed with the old woman. Even if he himself had an aversion to magic for a good reason that was not reason enough for Ranma to embrace his heritage and show the Magical World that he was much better than those stuck-up bastards. And wouldn’t it be ironic if he could defeat the people who shunned him in their own discipline. Well, as long as he didn’t neglect his martial arts training of course.


There was no more talking for the rest of the way to the village as the two foreigner had much to think about and Cologne didn’t want to interrupt.


When the village became visible to the naked eye Cologne told them to stop. “Wait a moment! There are some things you need to know before we go in. Don’t do anything stupid. We are a very proud people and easily take offence. The thing you have to look out for most, however, are the outsider rules. Because of them you should avoid answering any challenges in both of your forms or you could be subjected to either the kiss of marriage or kiss of death. Basically, the rules say this: whenever an outsider male defeats a Joketsuzoku warrior, she must give him the kiss of marriage and they are then automatically declared husband and wife; however, if a female outsider defeats a Joketsuzoku warrior she is given the kiss of death and the defeated Joketsuzoku must chase her to the ends of earth if necessary until the enemy’s death. If you really want to test your strength against our fighters you have to set terms before the fight and specify that it’s just a friendly fight. Is that understood?”


After seeing the twin nods of the veela and the panda girl they approached the gates. As they got nearer they could hear a lot of shouts coming from inside.


“What’s with all that noise?” Ranma wanted to know.


“The great festival,” Cologne explained as they were walking. “Every year we hold a martial arts tournament where the youngsters can show their skills. The champion will gain fame and earn a lot of privileges for a year. Afterwards there is a big party that lasts all night with a lot of food and music and even some friendly sparring matches. My granddaughter is participating this year for the first time and has a very good chance of winning. I’m glad it isn’t over yet. I want to see how she fares against strong opponents.”


Very soon they approached the entrance and nodding to the two sentries the elder led her guests into the village. Ranma was feeling uncomfortable when she noticed the scathing looks the sentries were giving her. The matriarch noticed too and as soon as they group was past the guards she stopped the two foreigners. “Wait here. I’ll go and get some warm water to change you back or else you’ll receive a lot more of those stares.”


“Why are they looking at me like that? I didn’t do anything to them.”


“That’s true, but it’s an instinctual reaction women have towards veela. You don’t realize yet how powerful your charm is and the effect it has on other people. Basically, the guards are jealous of you. It’s not your fault. They just don’t realize their reactions are caused by your veela charm, but they instinctually know that you’re a dangerous predator who might take away their men. So don’t be surprised to see women direct a lot of animosity toward your female form. Men on the other hand will lust after you and some would do anything to make you theirs. Over the centuries there have been quite some duels or family feuds caused by men who were attracted to the same vela. Until you learn how to control the charm this will be the standard reaction they’ll have. The only people immune to your aura are family members or people who are deeply in love with someone else. Homosexuals are an exception since their reactions will be reversed. That’s why you must imperatively learn to control your powers or will never be able to live a somewhat normal life… in either the Muggle or the Magical World, and the only one who can teach you is another vela. Unfortunately I can’t help you there. I don’t know any.”


“I know some people who might be able to help,” Genma interrupted. “My old training partner, Soun Tendo, also married a witch and he does some odd jobs for the Japanese magical government from time to time. I’m sure he’ll be able to help. I was planning to take you there anyway after our trip to China.”


“That’s good news. For now stay put; I’ll be back in a few moments,” the elder pogoed away and into the first house she saw. She came back with a bucket filled with hot water and poured it over two female’s heads returning them to their birth form.


“That feels better,” Ranma was relieved to be male once more. It would take time to get used to his alternate form, especially with the weird powers that came with it.


Genma was relieved too. His curse was probably not as bad as his son’s, but he would have preferred to stay male in his cursed form.


They toweled themselves and followed the old woman through the deserted streets and towards the place where the commotion was coming from. As they approached they heard the cheers the large audience was giving the contestants who were dishing it out on top of a horizontal log which was kept in the air by some sturdy ropes. Probably the whole village was present and there were even bets going on as to who would win the tournament. Ranma concentrated on the fight and had to admit that the girls weren’t bad. One of them was an average sized, cute brunette who was using a short sword and the other one was very large and butch, with a bodybuilder’s body and who looked more like a cross dresser than a girl. She was using a tetsubo and clearly dominating the fight with her overly aggressive style. The smaller fighter was on the defensive and had a very difficult time blocking her opponent’s powerful strikes. The girls were not in his league of course, far from it even, but he had to admit that they knew how to handle themselves in a fight.


“We got here just in time,” the matriarch told the foreigners who were following the fight. “This is the last semifinal. As I expected my great-granddaughter made it all the way into the finals. Look there. That’s her; the girl with the lavender-colored hair. She’s my pride and joy; the best warrior of her generation in our village. I know she’ll win.”


The fight was over very soon as the small fighter couldn’t keep up with the giant’s onslaught of powerful strikes and was launched off the log.


“Well, that’s that,” Cologne stated. “There’ll be a five minute break before the finals start. I’m going to give her some tips before the final fight. If you want you can come with me. That way you can get acquainted.”


“How come there are only girls fighting? What about the boys?” Ranma saw a lot of boys and men among the crowd, but none of them seemed to have participated. He could see several bruised girls butt no boys.


“Simple,” the elder explained. “They aren’t allowed to participate. This is a women’s only tournament. One thing you mustn’t forget is that we are a matriarchal society. The men have no say in the political workings of the village. That’s why their own tournament which will take place in a few days is not really important, unlike the women’s tournament, where the champion will earn a lot of fame for herself and her clan and be revered throughout the following year. I advise you to treat all the women her with the utmost respect if you want to avoid any trouble. I know, this must seem barbaric to you, but it’s been like this since the beginning and the system works well for us. Our men are treated better than the women used to be in your country.”


Very soon they’d reached the throng of people surrounding the young finalist and congratulating her for her good showing so far. When they saw the elder approach they opened a passage and let her through.

<”Great-grandmother!”> The lavender-haired girl shouted in glee and gave the elder a firm hug. <”I made it to the finals. I’ll make you proud of me for everything you taught me. I’ll win this.”>


She then noticed the two males standing behind her great-grandmother and who were looking at the scene. She narrowed her eyes. <”Who are the two strangers”> She asked rudely and even if Ranma couldn’t understand Chinese he was able to detect the disrespectful tone in her voice while she was looking at them.


<”They are honored guests,>” Cologne hissed at the teenager, <”so refrain from disrespecting them”> She then continued in a more civil tone. <”Do you know where I can find Dongmei? I haven’t seen her in the crowd. I absolutely need to talk to her.>”


<”I’ve seen her before the last fight with Huifang’s group.”>


The old woman nodded and made a come-hither sign to a nearby middle-aged woman. <”Jia, please fetch Dongmei. I have need of her ‘special’ skills.”>


She nodded and went away. Shortly afterwards she was accompanied by a very old and wrinkled woman, barely taller than Cologne and who had a strange aura around her. <”Ah, Dongmei. Just the elder I was looking for. Could you please cast a translation spell at the two foreigners? They don’t speak our language and it’s very important they understand everything that’s going on. I’d like to avoid any unnecessary complications.”>


She then turned to the two martial artists who hadn’t understood a single a word of the conversation. “Don’t move! I asked Dongmei to cast a translation spell so that you can blend in and avoid any potential dangerous situations. It only last for a few hours so it will have to be reapplied regularly. Don’t be afraid, she knows what she’s doing. She’s been an accomplished witch for more than 150 years.”


The now named elder nodded, rolled up the left sleeve of her blouse and retrieved an ornate stick from the holster attached to her left arm. She flicked the piece of wood in a strange pattern and shouted something unintelligible as she was pointing the stick at the jittery foreigners. A blue beam shot out of the stick and honed in on the pigtailed outsider hitting him in the chest. She immediately repeated the procedure with a fidgeting Genma. He knew he was in no danger, but his mistrust in magic users in general was not easy to overcome.


“Can you understand me?” Cologne asked the two in Chinese.


“Yeah. This is one hell of a useful spell. If I can learn stuff like this, studying magic might just be worth it,” Ranma grinned, very happy at the prospect of learning something new and potentially useful for later.


“Not so fast!” the elder suppressed the teen’s enthusiasm. “We’ll have to test you first. We’ll do that once the tournament is over. For now I’d just like you to watch the finals and mingle with the crowd; we can continue the discussion afterwards. I still have to talk strategy with Shampoo before her big fight. She then walked away with her granddaughter, who was still eying the foreigners with suspicion.


Ranma eagerly listened to the people around them trying to find out how the spell worked while Genma, who was pretty much desensitized to the use of magic, placed a bet on the winner at the makeshift betting office. He didn’t know the fighters, but he was an accomplished martial arts master, and even if he hadn’t seen Shampoo fight he was sure she’d win. She was very nimble and walked with a feline grace which was perfect against her opponent who was a slow, crude fighter relying on power. She clearly had the advantage on the narrow log as she only needed to evade her opponent’s powerful strikes and disrupt her balance. He was sure that a fight between her and Ranma could be very entertaining, not that she had a chance against his son of course, but she could probably give a good showing.


After a while Shampoo came back with her great-grandmother readied herself for her last fight of the day. On the other side of the log her opponent did the same. She grabbed a pair of melon hammers while her adversary wielded her tetsubo once again. The crowd’s cheers died down once the two fighters had jumped on the log, silently waiting for the referee to start the fight.


A middle-aged woman wearing very fine silk clothes that would cost a fortune in a Japanese shop slowly approached the ‘arena’ and lifted her right arm. She extended her hand and let the arm fall down again, signaling the start of the fight.


Shampoo’s opponent attacked as soon as the signal had been given with a heavy blow which completely missed the agile girl who then jumped over the power fighter. This was going on for a while with Shampoo dodging every single attack, waiting for a chance to finish the fight with a single blow. She didn’t have to wait for low. The large fighter overextended a very powerful blow which caused her to become unbalanced, a mistake which Shampoo was quick to take advantage of. She jumped in the air and kicked her opponent in the neck. While the blow was not all that powerful it was enough to make the tetsubo wielder fall off the log. Shampoo raised her fist in the air as a sign of victory which the referee confirmed. As she jumped off the log a large crowd was quick to assemble around her, congratulating her for the win.


Cologne let her great-granddaughter bask in the adulation of the audience for a few minutes knowing how the girl must feel, the same happening to her when she was young. Once the commotion had died down she joined the group and took the new champion in her arms. “You did great. I’m really proud of you. You know what you have to do now, don’t you? Get on with it. We can talk afterwards.”


Meanwhile the other participants in the tournament had lined up and were waiting for the new champion to open the festivities, which was traditionally done with a speech. The contents of the speech were up to the victor, but the message conveyed by it was almost usually the same.


The young girl lifted both her arms and spread them out, causing the discussions around her to stop as the crowd was waiting for the champion’s victory speech. “My fellow warriors and friends. Another tournament has come to an end, with me as the victor after some very tough fights. Of course I’m happy that I’ve won, but I’d also like to congratulate all the other participants for the strength and determination they’ve shown throughout the tournament. It wasn’t an easy win for me and I dedicate it to one very special person. A person who has made all of this possible, my great-grandmother who is also my trainer and a harsh taskmaster, ELDER COLOGNE.” She bowed to the matriarch and the crowd erupted in cheers. Cologne just waved them off. With all the training the champion had got there was no way she could have lost.


Shampoo raised her hands once more. I think my speech has been long enough already, so now LET THE FEAST BEGIN!”


Immediately the whole village was in uproar. Some people resumed their interrupted discussions; others left and came back with foodstuff and drinks; still others broke into a song or started to dance as a group was playing music; Genma went to collect his winnings.


Ranma was looking around completely lost not having much experience with parties and feasts. Cologne approached the young martial artist with an annoyed Shampoo in tow. She didn’t understand why her great-grandmother was so accommodating to some strangers. She was the winner and the elder should concentrate on her. Still, the boy hasn’t done anything to earn her ire, yet, and there was no reason why she shouldn’t be at least polite to him.


“Great fight,” the pigtailed teen praised the Amazon girl. “You have some very good moves for a girl. Can’t wait to see how you fare against me.”


Shampoo stiffened at the unintended insult to her skills and Cologne shook her head. ‘That boy really needs to learn some tact’, she thought.


The lavender haired girl looked venomously at Ranma. “What was that? How dare you insult an Amazon, MALE! I’ll show you what a girl can do. I…”


“SHAMPOO! STOP!” the elder shouted. She then turned towards Ranma. “And YOU! Watch what you’re saying.”


She then turned back to her great-granddaughter. “Shampoo, he really didn’t mean anything by it. He’s a stranger to our culture and didn’t mean to insult you. How about you two have a match tomorrow and find out who the better fighter is? Today is a day of joy and fun and shouldn’t be spoiled by a childish fight. IS THAT CLEAR?” She looked sternly at both teens who were rather embarrassed now.


“I apologize,” a sheepish Ranma extended his hand to the young champion. She took the hand without looking in Ranma’s direction and harrumphed. ”Apology accepted,” she answered insincerely but the pigtailed boy decided to let it go.


“That’s better,” Cologne approved.


Shampoo raised her hands once more. “Let’s eat,” she invited the villagers to partake in the copious victory feast that had been prepared for the champion.


Cologne bade Ranma to follow her away from the crowd. He was rather reluctant since he hadn’t eaten anything in quite some time, but the elder reassured him that there was more than enough for everyone and that he would get something as soon as they settled down to test him. She made a sign to Dongmei to lead the way and followed her into a large hut.


“Welcome to my humble abode,” the witch invited the foreigner in. “Now, what can I do for you Cologne?”


The elder told Dognmei all about the young martial artist’s past and the witch was listening intently, nodding at some parts and shaking her head at others. “I see,” she said once she had heard the whole story. “Well, let’s find out if you are indeed a wizard.”


She rummaged through a large chest that was sitting in a corner and found very quickly what she had been looking for. She handed one of the items to Ranma who didn’t understand why she would give him a stick.


“This is a so-called ‘beginner’s wand’. It is not keyed to anybody’s magical signature and you can’t cast powerful spells with it. These are used to help children get a feel of magic before they get their first wands. Beginner’s wands are no regulated by the Magical Government and can be used by anyone since they are harmless. At most you’ll be able to cast a lumos spell. Just swish it and see if anything happens.”


Ranma complied and could feel the wand connect to something inside of his body. He couldn’t really describe it, but it felt somewhat warm. He told the two elders about it and both nodded.


“That proves it,” Dongmei stated. “Congratulations, you’re a wizard.”

[frice2000]

Genma’s lack of reaction was understandable of course,

Not really a great place to end/start a chapter since you were in the middle of things with the last one. Had to go back and re-read the previous chapter to understand where we were now.

and it was quite obvious that they had to be related. He had Nodoka’s eyes and nose.

Unnecessary padding. You come right out and say he's her father in the next line. Just the bit about resemblance is enough with that.

be more alert from now and having

remove from

; he couldn’t stop them anyway.

Remove it excessive padding again.

in front of the priest… with our wands pointed at you just to make sure.

priest. Rest is padding and can be inferred.

but a whole volley… not a chance.

but not a whole volley. Can remove 'not a chance'.

well if it ever came out at least, but

at least. The

throughout the hospital

Hospital? No spells to detect pregnancy?

she gt the news of

she got. Got is kind of unsophisticated a word choice though maybe received instead?

tempus spell, a very useful spell that indicates the current time and date as precisely as would a radio clock.

Considering you just said that he was using a spell to check the time everything after the comma feels like unneeded padding since we can infer it.

he got up and froze when he saw the wands pointed at him once again.

Why didn't he attempt to use the umi?

some very expensive and high

a very expensive

hate ineffectiveness

ineffectiveness? Did you mean inefficiency?

will probably and I wouldn’t

remove 'will probably'

like he preferred

as he preferred

“And what about curses then?” She enquired. “Aren’t they real either, even if you’re afflicted by one?

Does not flow well. Maybe, "You claim magic is real even after what you've seen today?

treated me bad

Umm...you just said they treated him badly.

almost everyone I wanted

almost everything

Our relation even improved

Our relationship

our relation degraded

our relationship degraded

hat you were probably a squib

Ranma interjecting what that term means since he hasn't been told would be approriate here and break up this info dump.

In the end she couldn’t even stand to be in your presence any more.

Nope can't leave that alone and not have Ranma respond to it or at least cut to a description of him taking in that news. He should be outraged and at least say something or this doesn't work.

This new information however made sense and answered some of the teenager’s questions as to his father’s motives.

So utter rejection by his mother and maternal grandparents is met with a metaphorical shrugging of shoulders. Really hard to buy.

from the eyes of muggles

Him questioning the terminology again feels very appropriate and gives you again a way to break up this massive, massive info dump.

which really surprised me

which surprised me

Here’s where things get a little fuzzy.

After that things get a little fuzzy...

There seems to be a gap in my memories concerning that particular event.”

It's hard for me to believe he's not getting it now.

But here’s what I think.

Unneeded.

In my opinion it was something like ‘insane techniques produce the best results’

"In your case probably something directing you to try more and more insane techniques." Sounds far better.

Humans definitely are the cruelest animals in the world.

Extraneous.

unconsciously evades any

unconsciously evaded any

the forbidden techniques.

his forbidden techniques

for the village

for my village

The curses have turned you into water magnets.

Remove this she said it already.

No way would she stay around. She had enough problems already.

Not the reaction I'd expect from Ranma's character but it's your story...

“Ah, but you shouldn’t look at it that way. Nothing in this world is black and white. Take the wizards for example. They always classify everything as either dark magic or light magic. I think that it’s a misconception.

Alright right about here I'm kind of getting exhausted by the info dumps and monologues. This is your biggest problem in this work. You're not writing conversations and you're not writing dialogue like you would experience in a real life conversation. If someone started this long bit of conversation or sermon in real life you wouldn't interject questions or she wouldn't stop for a breath or something? This beyond anything else is what you need to work on. Try saying your conversations out loud. If you can't reiterate what she just did in one breath or it feels incredibly awkward saying it with two other people which are supposed to be following you it shouldn't be written that way. This is less of a problem with this example but it's a huge problem elsewhere in this piece.

it won’t probably take more than two centuries

it will probably take nothing more then two more centuries for

You are right,” the young sorceress acquiesced. “I’ve nothing to lose.

Moving too fast here she hasn't even found out if she can cast magic yet and she's planning what she's going to do with stuff she doesn't even understand yet.

the same vela.

the same veela.

you must imperatively learn to control your powers or will never be able to live a somewhat normal life

you must learn to control your powers or you will never be able to live a normal life.

is another vela

is another veela

Probably the whole

eliminate 'Probably'

all the women her

all the women here

I know, this must seem barbaric to you

One does not talk about their own culture this way. You should rephrase that.

”I’ve seen her before the last fight with Huifang’s group.”

"Before the last fight I saw her over with Hulfang's group."

I think my speech

"I think my speech

“That proves it,” Dongmei stated. “Congratulations, you’re a wizard.”

Kind of just putters out needs a little of Ranma's reaction to that news.

Well you've got an interesting premise here and while I'm usually adverse to Harry Potter stories it's interesting. Needs a bit of work. As I said before your dialogue and info dumps feel unnatural and that's where I would think you need to improve moving forward.

[Dumbledork]

I know what you mean about the info dump. Unfortunately I live in a non English speaking country and apart from forums I have no one to talk to in English.

Thanks for all the corrections. I've made the appropriate changes and I'll see what I can do against the info dumps.

The chapter is not oever yet. I wanted to post something after all this time. There are still 2-3 scenes I'll add.

Here are answers to some of your questions

- Why didn't he attempt to use the umi?

He developed those later as a weapon against wizards

- ineffectiveness? Did you mean inefficiency?

both are possible

[frice2000]

I know what you mean about the info dump. Unfortunately I live in a non English speaking country and apart from forums I have no one to talk to in English.

Doesn't really matter. If the conversation is overly long in whatever language and you think people would interject at some point you should change it around. Spanish, English, Japanese, Korean, French, German it doesn't matter. Someone talks that long making statements you're not sure of it's a natural human reaction to ask for clarification or to throw in ones own opinions. Try to avoid something that feels like someone is giving a speech. People interrupt each other all the time or throw in their own view points or own views to enhance a conversation. At points during some of the long dialogue scenes having another member of the cast asking a question makes it flow better. Let me find an example:

“Most don’t remember or chose to forget that wand magic is a rather young discipline in Asia. In fact, it hasn’t been imported until the late 1500s by the English. As wand magic is much easier to learn than other, older magic arts like voodoo, sorcery, shamanism, necromancy, or druidism and much more versatile most mages have abandoned tradition and embraced wizardry.

Now in the original piece the conversation continues on a little uncomfortably long. You can still get across the same information but make it seem more natural by even having a quick interruption here. After Cologne says that have Ranma interject something like:
"So ya mean the Buddhist Monks we met once who said they could actually cause themselves to fly if their focus was strong enough were telling the truth?" Ranma asked bewildered.
"Indeed child." Cologne began sadly, "But many of that order no longer are truly capable of harnessing the true powers of their own magical discipline because so many children who would go into it are taken and taught wizardy instead. It won't be long before their order is nothing more then a curiosity and their own unique breed of magic lost forever."

Now that is by no means that well written but it does give you a bit of an idea about how I would go about breaking up the long info dumps and make them interesting and compelling bits of story while giving a human air to the situation which the original did not making it both more powerful and far more easily read.

- ineffectiveness? Did you mean inefficiency?

both are possible

No ineffectiveness isn't the right word at all in the context of that conversation. You're talking about him hating people that waste his time I assume in which case ineffectiveness isn't the word you want.

[Dumbledork]

Thx for the tip. I'll try to do that.

[borgrabbit]

Ranma being catalyzed into a wizard will definitely salve his ego. Now I wait with 'worm on tongue' to see if Hogwarts makes an 'appearance'. ☺
Great chapter!

[Dumbledork]

Ranma being catalyzed into a wizard will definitely salve his ego. Now I wait with 'worm on tongue' to see if Hogwarts makes an 'appearance'. ☺
Great chapter!

It will take quite some time until Ranma becomes a decent wizard. At the moment he's at the same level as the average Hogwarts starter.

It's a long way till I get to Hogwarts. Ranma will attend Beauxbatons and only go to Hogwarts when the Triwizard tournament takes place. First of all there's Nerima and then Ranma will spend a few months at Yokai Academy (yep, Rosario + Vampire crossover) until he has a decent control over his veela powers.

[LawOhki]

My thoughts.

- Joketsuzoku are far too helpful and there is little they'll get in return.You've also rolled a lot of fanon into them. The water magnet comment for example. Other than Ryoga, how many other characters with the curse actually carry an umbrella normally?

- Too many easy connections. Ranma has had everything explained to him and he's being put in a position to get everything he "needs." Ranma should have to work and find some things out without help. Honestly I'd like the whole thing with the Joketsuzoku to be ripped out and it to be more like canon. It's been a while since I've seen the first part explaining why Cologne is even at Jusenkyo but it doesn't make sense for her to be there while the big tournament is going on.

How bout Ranma/Genma arrive, Ranma's new powers cause a lot of the women to get pissed at him, and they get run out of town. Cologne realized what was going on but had no time to do anything. The Guide explains the whole kiss of death thing poorly and the two think they're now targets and so they book it back to Japan. Later Cologne tracks the two down and offers assistance so long as she gets something in return.

- If you need to do info dumps I'd say just have one character summarize it in thought rather than speech, and also describing how they might have reacted during. The reader can imagine that there was this conversation while actually reading it would be tedious.

- Sending Ranma to the Youkai Academy is a poor choice. Surely there are options to find actual Veela to have him get tutored by. Youkai Academy's whole point is to humanize youkai that have no experience living around humans. Not train them in how to use their powers.

[Wyrd]

It's been a while since I've seen the first part explaining why Cologne is even at Jusenkyo but it doesn't make sense for her to be there while the big tournament is going on.

They detected a powerful magical event occurring at Jusenkyo, which is a big enough potential problem to explain sending an elder to investigate immediately despite the contest starting. I do kind of like the idea of things not going so easily at the Joketsuzoku, but that part seems reasonable to me.

[Dumbledork]

Pissing off the Amazons is too close to canon in my opinion. I wanted to try something else and the Amazons will have an important part to play much later in the story.

Ranma won't be alone at Youkai Academy. He will have a veela tutor who will go with him. As to why I'm sending him there it's quite simply. He has no control over his veela charm and Youkai Academy would be the best place for him to learn how to control it without other people being too weireded out by it. It will only be for 2-3 months.

The chapter is not finished yet and there will be a fight between Ranma and Shampoo. Why should the Amazons react like they do in canon. Ranma hasn't done anything to really piss them off. The only Amazons from the village Ranma interacts with are Shampoo, Mousse and Cologne. We don't know anything about the rest of the villagers.

But it's an interesting idea to have Cologne try and get something for her help. I'll think of something.

And is the water magnet part really all that fanon? I don't think so if you add all the ridiculous water accidents Ranma got involved in.

[Wyrd]

And is the water magnet part really all that fanon? I don't think so if you add all the ridiculous water accidents Ranma got involved in.

It is never stated in canon, though the sheer improbability of some of his water accidents, especially how hot water manages to find him when he is pretending to be Ranko while with his mother, makes it a very reasonable bit of fanon.

I think Ryouga is the only one to carry an umbrella because he

a: has a cursed form that is seen as a food item*
b: has such a terrible sense of direction that he can have trouble finding his clothes and pack again after finding some hot water
c: is often on the road with little to no access to hot water because of his poor sense of direction
d: seems to be least competent in fighting in his cursed form of any of them(Mousse can even still use hidden weapons style while transformed)
e: seems to be the least willing to accept his cursed form.

D and E are definitely up for alternative interpretations, but they seem reasonable arguments to me. With Genma and Ranma having forms that would cause them so much trouble, the need for umbrellas becomes much larger. When a panda, he can at least pretend to be a tame animal. As a panda girl, he would be mistaken for a demon throughout most of Asia, Africa, and South America, where belief in the supernatural is much more widespread amongst 'muggles' in our world*2 than it generally is in Europe and the US.

*So does Mousse, but Mousse can fly, making it lot harder to catch and eat him
*2 Meaning people who seem to have no magical ability of their own, yet firmly believe in the existence of magic. This could be a case of those countries having far less strict forms of the statute of secrecy, so non-magic folk have more of an opportunity to observe magical events without having their memories modified.

[Ellen Kuhfeld]

I noticed several places where you tried two different ways of writing a sentence, then left them both in. (A very short example from Monty Python -- The Department of Redundancy Department. Department of Redundancy is fine, Redundancy Department is okay, but DORD is -- redundant.)

[Dumbledork]

I noticed several places where you tried two different ways of writing a sentence, then left them both in. (A very short example from Monty Python -- The Department of Redundancy Department. Department of Redundancy is fine, Redundancy Department is okay, but DORD is -- redundant.)

Yeah. That happens a lot. It's one of the reasons I am such a slow writer. I'm never happy with my writings and constantly try to change the wording.

[LawOhki]

It is never stated in canon, though the sheer improbability of some of his water accidents, especially how hot water manages to find him when he is pretending to be Ranko while with his mother, makes it a very reasonable bit of fanon.

And there are just as many instances where it doesn't happen. There are entire story arcs where they don't touch water unless they want to.

[frice2000]

I have to disagree here Law. They do have a water magnet curse...but it's the water magnet curse of comedic/dramatic timing.