Idea feedback for a scene...

[Tuisto]

I'm thinking of adding some good natured levity into my fic Daimakaicho Ranma before things go to... well hell...
And the only thing I've been able to think of was for Ranma to test her new abilities, and... end up in a Senshi type fuku... but not a regular fuku, one more like medival knight meets goth metal chic meets Senshi fuku, ie lots of metal...
And after this I'm thinking of having Mara say something... crass... and getting zapped for it...

Well, what do you all think?
Try and add a snipit of comedy, or keep it all somber and horrific?

Thanks.

[Mitchell]

The idea itself is interested. However if you wanted to expand a bit, you might have Ranma and Mara watching a sentai like show, seeing transformations into outfits similar to a Senshi fuku. Ranma commenting on how no self respecting person would wear that kind of clothes, then doing the transformation. Ranma getting annoyed etc

[CJN]

Comedy is always good.

[DCG]

An interesting idea, And tossing in a Fuku is all ways a good thing.

Could have Ranma and mara and/or even hild watching a Senshi fight and laughting there cute buts off after watching the senshi's do there flash twirl change.

Then minic the motions as a joke, Corse jokes on them well then spell works...

[Metroidvania]

Not so sure on this one, it sounds forced as of now.

Unless you're planning on bringing the Senshi in later, what's the point of inserting the comedy in the otherwise quite somber and brutal story?

Why do you feel you need the humor?

[Tuisto]

Unless you're planning on bringing the Senshi in later, what's the point of inserting the comedy in the otherwise quite somber and brutal story?

Why do you feel you need the humor?

Well, it does seem forced in retrospect... and you could say I'm bringing in the Senshi, a brief speaking cameo bit at the funeral, then when I get to the main meat of the story...fighting demons, powerful ones... then they'll end up corpses... And Pluto, oh dear god poor Pluto doesn't even deserve what she's getting... Oh well...

[spoiler]Right now the fic is heading for a Gotterdamerung type apocolyspe, I mean, if you can name a character from an anime, chances are I'm killing them in this fic, (even Belldandy is on my possible chopping block) and so far, this single twisted idea has been the only bit I could think of to squeak in a bit of dark humor... [spoiler]

Maybe not necessary... but there's only *SO* much agnst, tragedy and bloodshed people can take in a fic before they turn away I tihnk.

[Metroidvania]

Hmm....

You're right about the too much angst getting old, but how exactly is the Senshi uniform humor _dark_, though?

[spoiler] And why the mass killing spree? Just for kicks? [/spoiler]

[Tuisto]

Maybe it's not _dark_ humor exactly...

But for the killing spree... that's from me refining the story. It's all now written right to the end... in my head...
[spoiler] But what the reason for the killing is that Ranma dieing and Hild "adopting" her has been a catylist that the 7 Infernal Princes headed by Dread Lord Sith will use (demons deteast Humans as inferior and one being put into power greater than that of their own embitters them into an plan they've been waiting to use) to restart the great war with Heaven... only this time they'll succeed in the Coup d'Etat over Kami-sama... then think Hell on earth, nuclear bombs the worste of the worste of the worste. And Ranma and her motley crew (I'm not telling who they are...) will be all that's left to stop the Infernal Princes from unraveling all of creation, and rebuilding it to their liking. And interestingly enough this all takes place in a matter of days, so a very short timeline, and maintaining Ranma's well... Ranma'ness... [spoiler]

I know, I'm too ambicious...

[Heaven's Deamon]

I think a "dark humor" way of doing it would be for Ranma to mimic the transformation of a specific scout and end up in a demonic variant of THAT SCOUT'S Fuku (IOWs same colorsceme, but maybe different materials, less fabric in some areas, a slit in the skirt or things like that) Ranma makes a comment along the lines of "She is so dead/I'm gonna kill her/Can I kill her? Please?" basicly a brief stated desire to kill that quickly fades and is forgotten. Then later have Ranma forced to fight and kill that same scout for one reason or another and have the scouts power transferred to him, voluntiaraly or not on either ones part, complete with the altered fuku. He remembers what had happened before and gets a sudden urge to bash his head on the nearest vertical surface.

[CJN]

What about the doublet system?