Anime, Scifi, Fantasy Fan and Original Fiction
by Neko- » Fri Aug 10, 2007 7:25 am
FSSSSHT! All other conversation stopped for a moment as Seras held the acetylene torch to the patch of foam in Usagi's neck, much to the blonde's obvious discomfort.
"Are we SURE he knows what he's doing?" Rei asked suspiciously of Ranma.
"We try not to ask those sorts of questions around here," the pigtailed man responded evasively. "We might not like the answer."
by Comartemis » Sat Aug 11, 2007 3:22 am
"Hold on a second," blurted Makoto, "You mean to say that this is the end of the universe?"
"No, not really."
"Oh good..."
"This is after the end of the universe."
"What?!"
"It simply is one of, if not the best places to get away from it all."
"But after the end of the universe..," began Rei.
"Don't worry. I am the Senshi of Time."
"Oh..."
"Hey, look," said Minako, "A poetry reading."
The tanned woman stopped and looked at what had gotten the Senshi of Love's attention, before yanking her towards the front desk. "Uh, no. That's Vogon poetry."
"Is it bad?" asked Usagi as she hurried along side.
"Let me put it this way. Your brother annoys you, right?"
"Yeah..."
"Now how much would you like to be locked in a room with say... a dozen of him."
"I see what you mean."
"Not really."
"Huh?"
"It would be a very pleasant afternoon compared to Vogon poetry."
"Eep."
by Comartemis » Sun Aug 12, 2007 10:44 pm
“WAH!” cried out Makoto. “Usagi’s taking the hot guys for herself!”
Minako paled. “Stop taking all the cute fruitcakes, Usagi-chan!”
“That’s beefcakes, Minako,” said Ami, deciding to open up the Mercury Computer and search for anything on Magic Girl genetics.
Minako just points to the TV where it is showing Ranma in the Neko-ken pawing at a ball of yarn, then points at Mamoru who is rocking back and forth in a corner while crying that he isn't gay.
“Er, right...” says Ami with a massive sweatdrop.
“This is the Channel 8 Evening News, with ongoing coverage of what has been termed the Great Magic Girl Chase.
“Currently, you can see Mr. Ranma Saotome going strong, holding what we suspect is a possibly pregnant Sailor Moon, as they are being chased by several dozen people. We have identified several as fiancées arranged by his father to “pay for his retirement”, one who claims to be a wife by her tribe’s marriage laws, the suitors of those girls, claiming they will both kill him for stealing their girlfriends, and for betraying those girlfriends, one pervert who just admitted he only wants Sailor Moon’s panties, as well as the most of the Senshi with the exception of Sailor Mercury who did not show, Tuxedo Kamen, whom we have heard just tried to declare he was straight while standing on a gay bar, and Sailor Uranus, who is currently laughing uncontrollably at the Tendo Dojo. Currently, the only strange one is Sailor Pluto, who seems to be chasing them with ... a chainsaw and flame thrower? Now there seems to be some sort of attack, and it looks like a pipe was busted...
“Okay, the man has just turned into a buxom redhead.”
“Kei,” said a reporter from the field, “Ms. Tendo informed us he has a magical curse that turns him female when he is hit with cold water.”
“Oh, I see. Well, Sailor Moon is still holding onto him ... her ... them like before. Perhaps we have another Senshi who has tasted the forbidden fruit?”
Sadly, this was all wasted on Ami and the two moon cats, as they finished their research. “So, there is no difference in genetics between girls and magic girls.
“Hey, where’d everyone go?”
“Currently, no one knows where the two love birds are, but we have had artists render what the child may look like when it gets older.”
Minako blinked. “Hey, it’s Chibi-Usa!”
A silver haired man looked into the mirror above the sink in the men’s restroom at Club Shock. Luna had made him take human form, and then dragged him to this techno dance club, claiming she needed to get drunk after what Usagi had done, while constantly crying “WAH! Now the Kingdoms will never be joined!”
“Rough night?”
Blinking, Artemis looked over, seeing a dog demon in human form standing beside him, looking just as tired. “Um ... yeah, Mister...”
“Inuyasha,” said the dog demon.
“I’m Artemis.”
Inuyasha nodded. “What she’d drag you here for?”
“Claims the future is ruined and we should abandon all hope. You?”
“Claims she is old after a fox demon we knew 500 years ago introduced her to her adopted great-great-great-great-great-grandchildren.”
“Damn,” muttered Artemis.
“Yeah,” said a tired Inuyasha.
Artemis looked at the side of the dog demon, noticing his sword. “Think you could use that thing to kill the both of us?”
“I would, but she said if I tried that again, she’d have me neutered.”
by Scooter » Sun Aug 19, 2007 7:13 pm
I’m giving you a free nookie card with my drop dead gorgeous sister, and you are debating the fine points of power conservation with me. What kind of sex demon are you anyway?
--Tendo Nabiki, "One Half a Wing and a Prayer"
This is an important announcement. This is Flight 121 to Los Angeles. If your travel plans do not include Los Angeles, now would be a good time to disembark.
by Comartemis » Sat Aug 25, 2007 2:26 pm
I vote that Setsuna's got a rather kickin' pad at the portal of time, complete with surround sound speakers, every known form of video game (she can just snatch a system and game from any century, a buffet table and a bigscreen TV that picks up satellite broadcasts from any place in any time period. When the Senshi come to visit, Setsuna has this entertainment gear retract into the walls and floor. Whereupon Setsuna gives off this 'I am a lone warrior sacrificing all' vibe as her friends enter, thusly keeping them unaware of how much fun she really has. ^^v
-His lordship Chaos
by Neko- » Mon Aug 27, 2007 3:18 pm
Usagi was doing something strange. Something totally out of character. Something so wildly beyond what her normal behavior was that, if they knew, her friends and family would be shocked and appalled and would have immediately taken steps to have her checked for mental or physical health issues (in the case of her family and friends) or youma possession (in the case of her fellow Senshi).
Usagi was laying in bed, unable to sleep.
At once, Usagi's face cleared of all terror to look curiously at Luna. “Huh? Hey, Luna, how did all my stuff get on the ceiling?”
Ranma-chan simply sat on the ground, a huge smile on her face and her eyes closed in an expression of innocent joy as she rubbed her cheek against Shampoo's soft fur. She suddenly stopped, frozen. Ukyo and Akane noticed, Ukyo dropping to the ground and dragging Kimi with her. Akane turned to run, but was too distracted trying to keep an eye on her fiance and stumbled to the ground.
Ranma's eyes snapped open. She was holding and snuggling a c...c...CAT!
“YAAAAAARGH!”
by Raneko » Mon Aug 27, 2007 9:14 pm
Admiral Sally Ryan snorted back on Shabazza.
"200 Giga tons per shot my ass."
Next to her Vice Admiral Marco Ramsey let his eyes wander towards Sally's rear.
"I didn't know that your rear was rated as Weapon of Planetary Destruction. Remind me to never be near you if you have gas."
Sally turned slightly and glared at him like she could set him on fire with it.
by Comartemis » Mon Aug 27, 2007 9:32 pm
by Atlan » Tue Aug 28, 2007 6:04 pm
Shampoo just stared. "Um, Shampoo hate to ask, but... What exactly is 'SIN'?"
by Scooter » Tue Aug 28, 2007 7:44 pm
Pluto, Uranus, Neptune and Saturn took the six story hop from their perch with the intention on joining their monarch, when the beast stirred once more, righting itself with a flip and charging Ranma suddenly. The girl's attention was turning back to the youma in an almost lazy manner when a rose floated in from out of nowhere and detonated in the creature's face, turning the immediate area around it into explosive sheet of fire and molten concrete. All eyes turned down the vector of the rose to find a young masked man clad in a black tuxedo and top hat.
"Fear not, fair maiden… For as long as there is justice in this world, I, Tuxedo Kamen will be there to defend the flowers of innocence such as yourself."
Sailor Moon instantly developed a starry eyed stare for the young man while the other Inners developed similarly glazed-over expressions. The outers simply rolled their eyes while Ranma had an entirely different reaction.
Her eye was twitching.
The last thing she needed in life was another goddamned Kuno, and it took every bit of effort not to launch a low yield Moko Takabisha downrange into the tuxedoed interloper. Instead, she turned her attention to the blast zone where the smoke was clearing, only to find… Nothing. Ranma blinked, her eyes frantically searching the scorched crater for anything resembling the demon. It was gone, which left only two possibilities. Either the Tuxedo fool's rose had been sufficiently powerful to vap her youma outright or… The twitch gained intensity.
"YOU ASSHOLE!"
"Uh, excuse me, miss?" Tuxedo Kamen blinked, having expected the young woman's praises to fill his ears at any moment. His surprise was rather understandable, however. Most victims of a youma attack were happy for his intervention on average. Across the street, the Senshi were jolted from their lust induced stupor, staring at their monarch as if she had grown a second head. She just called Kamen a…?
"You let the thing escape, dammit!" The pigtailed girl fumed, burning a hole into the man with her leaded glare. "I wasn't done with it!"
"Wasn't done…?" Tux shook his head, as if trying to make sense of the outlandish situation. Girls in her situation were normally worshipping the ground he walked on by now, not cursing his name. Sadly, he had absolutely no proper grasp of exactly what sort of situation this particular girl was entangled. Had he known, the masked defender of justice probably would have given the fight a wide berth.
Sailor Moon took a tentative step over to her rather irate mother. "You can't…! He's… That's…!"
Ranma barely registered the girl stumbling over her words until Sailor Pluto joined the pair, Outer body guards in tow. "He's an ally, your Highness." She supplied, gaining a skeptical look from Ranma. "He's also your daughter's fiancé."
The silver haired girl's head swiveled onto to Moon. "That pompus ass is your fiancée?" Moon's mouth fell open while the remaining Inners were aghast. "God, and I thought I had it bad. You're engaged to a Kuno."
In that time, Tuxedo Kamen joined the group, eyeing the new girl carefully. "Excuse me, I'm not sure I--"
Ranma's focus immediate snapped from the Senshi back to the source of her irritation. "Back off, rose-boy. I ain't too happy with you right now."
Sailor Moon visibly flinched at the insult and the Inners simply couldn't believe that somebody was verbally assaulting not only Usagi's future husband, but such a fine specimen of manhood. It was also all Setsuna could do not to collapse into a fit of insane laughter.
"I, ah, that is to say… but I just saved your--!" Kamen stumbled over his next words.
"You let my youma get away!" Ranma bit back sharply, then turned to her supposive daughter with an evil thought that made her smile. The smile wasn't a pleasant one. "You say you're engaged to this idiot?" Usagi nodded her head in slow shock. Something wasn't right here….
"Not anymore."
"WHAT!" The word came from every direction at once and the evil grin grew in intensity
"But you can't! He's… I'm…! MOM!" The blonde wailed plaintively. Tuxedo Kamen simply blinked with confusion
Ranma Saotome savored the chaos of the moment. If they were going to saddle her with this queen thing and the mother bit, she was damn well going to have fun with it. "Nope. No way am I letting my daughter marry a Kuno."
"Mom?" Tux was thoroughly confused as he studied the rude girl he now regretted saving. "Would somebody care to…"
Pluto stepped forward with a grin that mirrored her friend's eerily. She took a sidelong glance over at Ranma who met her eyes. The smile widened as a mutual understanding passed between them. "Tuxedo Mask, I would like you to meet Ranma Saotome-Serenity, reincarnated queen of the Silver Millenium. Moon's mother."
It took another minute for the masked man to digest the information, and another to comprehend the full ramifications. "She's… You… The Queen!"
"Oh, for shame! What ever did I do to be cursed with an ungrateful daughter of loose morals?" The smile vanished from Ranma's face with the overly dramatic scene and Setsuna couldn't help but to snicker now.
Usagi's face pitched a deep pink as her eyes widened, while Kamen gibbered wildly. Finally, a coherent thought formed in the odango-atama's brain. "But you can't do this!"
"Hush, child." Ranma admonished, pulling out the best Nodoka impression she could muster. "I'll only have my daughter engaged to a man among men, several if necessary."
The blush deepened and it took Kamen a moment to perceive the insult. "Man among… Wait! HEY! I AM a man among men!"
Ranma arched an eyebrow, dropping all pretense. "And what kinda man chucks roses at his opponents?"
Tuxedo Kamen was speechless for a moment but recovered quickly. "Those are very POWERFUL roses, I'll have you know!"
The martial artist simply rolled her eyes, and turned her back on the Tuxedoed avenger. "Come on, Set-chan. We got an old mummy to visit."
by bissek » Thu Aug 30, 2007 6:15 pm
Sighing heavily, Genma said, "We have no choice, Tendo. There is only one
option available to us."
"You don't mean?" Soun gasped.
"That's right, my old friend!"
The two men looked at each other intently before crying out in stereo,
"Operation: Get Ranma and Akane Married!"
They would have both stood up and thrust their pointer fingers to the
heavens, however they both forgot they were underneath the house. As a
result, they both cracked their heads against the support beams and were
sent into a blissful slumber (not that anyone cared...well, actually Kasumi
did. She was finally able to clean the floor underneath the Shogi board, a
place she hadn't been able to get too in the past two years.).
"I know of the tlh'Ingan tea ceremony, General, and I thought you might appreciate this drink in the spirit of our victory before we return to the Courtor system."
Chang looked suspiciously at the fuming, steaming bottle a nervous Starfleet ensign had brought into the room, the young officer carefully holding it with anti-radiation gloves borrowed from Engineering. "I have never seen this drink before."
Acaltha laughed harshly. "It comes from Earth, originally. I first discovered it while taking advanced courses at the Starfleet Academy. Korrd and I have shared it a few times. It's what took us from enemies to rivals. I thought you might enjoy it as much as he has."
The one-eyed general peered closely at the label.
John Jones Monrovian Moonshine -
Fine Sipping Whiskey and High Explosive.
Ingredients List: Muskrat squeezings, nitroglycerin,
and other additives both natural and unnatural.
Chang read further down. "'If you drink this you will die.' A reasonably clear warning label."
"Actually, that's the statement of quality. The warnings are listed further down."
Chang gave a chilling smile. "I'll have a glass."
by Atlan » Sun Sep 02, 2007 6:14 pm
"That's a mean machine," she said admiringly as she got out of the car. Makoto walked up and
grinned.
"I never figured you for a car buff, Minako," she said. "Yeah, that's Yoshi's baby. It's even
faster than it looks. Yoshi, he's handy with machines."
"Oh," Minako murmured as Usagi and Rei pried themselves from the backseat. "Good with
his hands, then?"
"Trust you to find some sexual innuendo in that," Rei
grumbled, stretching the kinks out. Minako took a moment to surreptitiously check out the other
girl's butt as she bent over.
Yep. Still fabulous.
Minako," Usagi breathed.
"Mmmm?" Minako replied, glancing down without breaking her pose.
"Don't be alarmed," Usagi said with an impish gleam in her eye, "but I think there's every
possibility that you might be a shameless hussy."
Rei watched the cab driver pull away, the driver giving them one more incredulous glance in
his mirror before roaring down the road and out of sight. Well, she couldn't blame him, she
supposed.
It certainly had been an interesting ride.
Ranko had squirmed and crawled around between them, refusing to settle down in her odd
feline state. And, of course, Minako had felt compelled to tell the driver that Ranko was their sex
toy and was merely role playing.
Ranko rose on all fours
and followed her, brushing lightly against Rei's leg as she investigated her new surroundings.
Minako made an exasperated sound.
"Made yourself a friend, huh?" the blonde asked.
"Jealous?" Rei shot back.
"If she's your cat, just see that she doesn't pee on my floors," Minako said.
"What's that noise?" Artemis asked. "Hey, is she ... purring?"
"Yeah, she does that," Minako told him. "It's kind of wild, huh?" They watched as Rei
stroked the girl with slow, soothing motions, gradually bringing the ward up in her free hand.
"That a girl," she crooned as Ranko cocked her head lazily. "Just relax ..." Picking her
moment, she reached out and planted the end of the ward directly on Ranko's forehead. Not
knowing what the reaction might be, she hopped back quickly, watching Ranko to see what effect
her ward would have.
She didn't have long to wait.
Ranko sat bolt upright, the long strip of red paper covered with arcane black characters
dangling in her face. She shook her head violently, but the end of the ward remained firmly stuck
to her forehead. Ranko made a confused blert, then rose up on her legs and began batting at the
ward with her hands. She spun in place, pawing madly, then ran on all fours across the room,
sliding into the far wall. Rebounding neatly, the red-head began flailing again and finally
managing to snag the flapping ward.
Eventually succeeding in tearing the ward free, Ranko batted it around in mid-air before it
could hit the ground, propelling it across the room. Merrily, she gave chase, pouncing on it and
once again sending it skittering around on the gleaming wood. Finally she landed squarely on it,
grabbing the offending ward in her mouth and giving it a good shaking before falling down and
rolling onto her back, limbs waving. At that point she froze with the ward still clasped in her
teeth, rolling her eyes to look at Rei.
"I'm guessing spirit possession is right out," Minako said.
"Good guess," Rei sighed
by seraphm2005 » Tue Sep 04, 2007 10:56 pm
"Now, foul beast, you shall fall at the hands of the great and powerful Blue Thunder of the Kuno clan," a male voice shouted out as the rapping continued. "Do you here me demon-sorcerer, no matter how foul the demon you send I shall yet prevail over your unholy designs!"
Mihoshi looked out of the ship and stared at the kendoist attacking their ship and blinked. She turned back to the equally non-pulsed Kiyone and produced perhaps one of the most damning statements ever uttered.
"Kiyone, there's an idiot out here," Mihoshi said.
by Neko- » Wed Sep 05, 2007 3:45 am
Two steps took him to Makoto’s side where he promptly grabbed the waist of her pants, making sure to snag her underwear in the process. Before she could register the movement, he had scooped up a handful of the back of her gi in his left hand, including a goodly amount of her sports bra. Content that both hands were in the correct position, Ranma heaved, giving Makoto the mother of all wedgies. His left hand pulled back and twisted, stretching the elastic on her bra to its peak before he let go. The resounding snap coupled with the incredibly uncomfortable feeling of the wedgie made Makoto squeal with righteous anger.
Yuriko Mizuno was pissed. Even amidst all the chaos and excitement, people could see and respect a rampaging mother when they saw one. Those that dared look her in the eye whispered prayers for the poor child that was on the receiving end of this woman’s wrath. She stomped her way through the first and second security cordons, making her way up to the third blockade with little trouble. She would have made it past that barricade as well, had it not been for the diligent police officer that was intent on doing his job rather than watching the events unfolding around him.
“Hey! This area is off limits Miss. You can’t come through here.”
Yuriko ignored him in favor to getting to her daughter as fast as possible. The police officer had other plans for her though. He grabbed her arm with the intent to stop her, and was thoroughly shocked when the lithe doctor didn’t stop. She continued to drag the young officer past the fourth barricade, scooping up a megaphone as she went. She acquired more police officers, who insisted on attempting to drag her back to the barricade. They inevitably began making progress, but not before Yuriko Mizuno had her say. Lifting the megaphone to her mouth she directed her angry voice heavenward.
“AMI MIZUNO! THIS IS YOUR MOTHER SPEAKING!” The police officers paused a moment to cover their ears. “YOU ARE SOOO GROUNDED!”
No one had ever seen a crowd of this size face-fault before, but it would definitely be a favorite piece of footage for the news media in the days ahead.
“DO YOU HEAR ME? GROUNDED! FOREVER!”
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