The NEW Fanfiction Quote Topic

[CRBWildcat]

Another segment from Griffinkhan's Epilogue. Story's full of amusing scenes, it seems, but I don't think I'll put up anymore after this.

Zero opened the hall closet and pulled out a game box. "We're playing Clue."

"...Joy," said Blues. "If Monopoly was turned into a game of mass murdering and destruction, I hate to see what they've done to Clue, where there's actually supposed to be a death..."

"Stop being so negative, oh mysterious one." Zero walked into the living room with the game and began to spread out the board.

The others finished cleaning and settled around the coffee table. The game hadn't changed as drastically as Rock had feared, simply replacing the players with the names of Mavericks, the old mansion with Maverick Hunter HQ, and the dead Mr. Boddy with a dead Dr. Cain. Also, there were a few odd additions to the murder weaponry.

"Let's see," Bass said, as the game progressed, "I think it was Vile in the Control Center with the wrench."

"Why would Vile need a wrench?" Rock asked, rolling the die. "He's got like, a billion plasma cannons."

"It's a game, Mega Man."

"It's a game that makes no sense," Rock countered.

Blues looked through his cards. "Well, I say it was Dr. Doppler in the Lobby with the nuclear warhead."

Rock blinked. "Why would someone use a nuke in the lobby?"

The elder robot shrugged. "The same reason why Vile uses a wrench, apparently."

"If that were the case," said X, "it wouldn't only be Dr. Cain who was murdered, but the entire city and all the other players, as well."

Zero shook his head. "Not if it was a small, localized device..."

X rolled his eyes. "Zero, this is a stupid game and you know it."

The blonde picked up his token. "Well, you can say that to Sigma in the Cafeteria with piano wire."

X showed him the Sigma card. "Too bad, try again."

"Actually, I think I'm ready to guess," said Bass, looking at his checklist.

"Shoot," said Zero. "I still think it's piano wire, though."

Bass moved his pencil down the list. "Magma Dragoon... whoever the heck that is... in the maintenance bay, with the beam saber."

Blues retrieved the packet of correct cards and handed them to the ebony-armored robot. Bass opened it, then smirked. "Told you," he said, spreading out the three cards for everyone to see.

"It would be Dragoon, wouldn't it?" Zero said, scowling.

"Who's he?" Rock asked, as he gathered everyone's cards and began to shuffle.

X glanced at Zero, then shook his head. "Just a Maverick we fought once. Not a nice guy."

"So are we going to do something else, or what?" Bass griped. "This game is boring."

"Only because you won," said Rock.

"That's beside the point."

"I can tell you're going to be cranky all day if you're cooped up in here," said Blues.

"Who are you callin' cranky, old man?" Bass snapped.

"You," said Zero. He stood up, stretching as his gears creaked and realigned. "Well, why don't you and I go to the training room, then? I'm sure you could use some fighting pointers, Bass."

"Just what exactly are you implying, blondie?" Bass said, also jumping to his feet. "I could beat you in a firefight any day."

"No you couldn't."

"Yes I could."

"No you couldn't."

"Just get out of here," said X, pushing Zero gently towards the door. "You're bickering like human children."

"Fine, we will." Zero grabbed Bass' arm. "Come on, kid."

"Oh, it's on, future boy."

The door shut. X turned back to the others, with a slight smile. "They're certainly hitting it off well, aren't they?"

"Sadly enough, I think you're right..." said Blues. He then walked towards X's closet, looking through the board games stacked on the top shelf. "So, anyone up for seeing the mess they made of Sorry?"

[CRBWildcat]

From a short (and I do mean short) spamfic called The Great Strawhat Pirate Crew:

"SUUUUUUUUUPERRRRRRRR!"

A hand formed. Then an arm, and a leg, and then the rest of the body. The head came last, bursting roughly out of the top of the torso.

"Even if the whole world should turn against us," Robin began, gripping the controls.

"Our faith in our friends will protect us!" Nami finished from a separate cockpit.

"And when the odds are their longest, and the end seems near," Sanji said, flicking away his cigarette.

"We'll follow our dreams, and they'll see us through to the end!" Zoro said.

Finally, the transformation was complete. As the green light faded, giving a clear view, all of them shouted together:

"Tengen Toppa Battle Franky! Who the hell do you think we are?"

...Words fail me.

[Heaven's Deamon]

......It needs someone standing, legs spread, with an arm raised and their finger pointing into the sky.

[EdenB]

From Konoha's Yellow Flash Really Hates Paperwork chapter 11.

“You’re so fucking boring. Why can’t we have a tour guide with a little bit of personality? A nice ass wouldn’t hurt either.” Zabuza began to twitch at the comment. What had he done to deserve such a fate?

Flashback

Zabuza’s clothes were soaked with blood. His hair was soaked with blood. His blade had somehow ignored every single law of molecular matter law and had absorbed blood. Around him were the bodies of several of his fellow students and all of his teachers, each mangled and brutalized. Seeing something move in the corner of his eye, he threw his massive blade in that direction with as much force as possible.

The Mizukage caught the blade effortlessly, obviously not impressed.

Zabuza only grinned.

“I passed!” He said excitedly.

The Mizukage sighed at him.

“You do realize you only had to kill five of the forty students to pass right?”

“I was going for extra credit.”

“And killing your four teachers?”

“I was going for a lot of extra credit.”

The Mizukage just sighed in defeat and handed him a headband.

End Flashback

Oh right, that.

[Not-Going-to-Tell]

Mass Effect Fic,Coincidence or not?

“Is it a Reaper ship?”

“Where else have you seen anything move that fast, other than Wrex when he hears the words, ‘killing Geth’?”

“I heard that.” The rest of the crew followed in as they peered at the radar. The blips were starting to fill in what little gaps of silence there were.

“It’s probably hostile,” the Turian commented. “Commander, we should fire when we have the chance.”

“But what if it isn’t hostile?” The Asari doctor responded. “Perhaps the communications simply failed.”

“And no static?” The Gunnery Chief said. “In your dreams, T’soni.”

“Shepard, give the command!” The Krogan barked.

“But we don’t even know if it’s dangerous!” The Quarian said through her speaker.

“Orders, Commander?” The ship held its breath in silence.

“Make sure kinetic barriers are 100 and keep your hand on the trigger. Don’t fire until I give the word”

“Aye, aye sir.”

The blips were getting faster and faster until the signal became a single tone.

“We have visual contact!” The crew looked out the window and dropped its jaw in unison.

A man in a red shirt, blue suspenders was not floating but flying pass the window. He had a black curly mustache and his red cap wore a simple ‘M’. The man cheered and waved as it passed the window. The man passed for not more than a second. The crew wasn’t able to talk until after a minute.

“Should I report this to the Council, Commander?”

“Why bother? They’re just going to tell me what I already know.”

“And that is…”

“I need to take a Shore leave.” The Commander said as he rubbed his eyes and stepped out of the cockpit. The rest of the crew followed except for the Krogan.

“I wish I were him.”

“You say something, Wrex?” The Pilot responded.

“Uh…Nothing.”

[Atlan]

The mother sighed. “Buffy, I’ll trust that you’ll make the right decisions. Don’t let me down.” She turned to her younger daughter, “Dawn, stop tattling on your sister.” And now to Faith. “It’s nice to meet you, um…”

“Faith.” They shook hands.

“It’s nice to meet you, Faith.” She turned to go and then turned back to Buffy. “And I like meeting your friends before I find you half naked on the sofa, or have to bail you out of jail. Keep up the pattern.”

“Well, it’s nice to see you again, with your shirt on, and I hope to continue to see you with your shirt on, and not splayed pornographically over the couch with my daughter on top of you. Okay?”

From the Buffy fic, It's not fun to be in love with your best friend
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2167152/1/I ... est_friend

[Not-Going-to-Tell]

From Harry Potter: Rise of the Technomancers, chapter 5

Making his way down the cobblestone street, he saw the different shops he knew from earlier years, Olivander’s to his right, Elops Owlry to his left, the Magical Menagerie a block down, and a few new shops he had never seen before such as Bart’s Butterbeer Products, and, of all things, a Starbucks. Ugh, here too? He asked himself with a bit of disgust.

[Kakanma]

From Post Mortem http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4224661/1/Post_Mortem

Ichigo becoming a captain didn't surprise anyone - the boy had power in spades. Ichigo becoming a good captain out of battlefield... well, that was mildly surprising. But Ichigo actually managing to not only memorize the guidlines instead of 'following his gut' but also improving some procedures... Byakuya, in his calm and collected manner, decided to become very drunk. Especially after he praised said new procedures.

And the scariest Bleach couple ever.

Keigo Asano was odd when he was alive - he became even odder after he died. Dying at tender age of twenty three, he was already excellent at over reacting, getting a little crazy and going off on a weirdest of tangets.

The fact that his zanpakuto was as odd as he was was to be expected. That Zanpakuto manifested the first time Keigo took an asauchi, materialized and basically said "Hey there cutie! I am Ryoura! Nice to meet you!" was just the beginning of a grand hedeache for his instructors.

Nobody expected the odd man to finish the academy early, much less get an officer assignment. But Keigo liked to surprise. Well, he'd like to do it, if he knew he was doing it. Like with everything, most of Keigo's best moments came by the matter of circumstance, though he'd probably disagree.

Managing to pick up Unohana Retsu by simply walking up to her, telling her she's the single most beauiful woman he has ever met and asking her for a date he did entirely on his own, though. The fact that Unohana and Keigo are in the rather odd, if stable realtionship is something that leaves even Kurosaki-the-freaking-enigma-Ichigo stumped.

[Atlan]

Maeve sighed happily. "Being a dickgirl sure is great," she announced to nobody in particular. "It's like the best of both worlds. You get a hot female body AND a penis simultaneously. Nothing could be better than this!"

An absurdly beautiful blonde girl flounced up to her and Maeve blinked. The girl was perfectly normal and attractive… except for the fact that the front of her skirt was pushed up by the dozen or so thick tentacles growing out of her crotch. "Hey," the girl said. Maeve just waved mutely. The girl glanced down and her blue eyes widened. "Wow, that's cute. Does it work?"

Looking down, Maeve discovered she was naked and the girl was staring at her fully erect penis. Her jaw worked but nothing came out. "Oh, sorry, gotta go," the tentacle girl told her. "I have an appointment with an entire bus full of Japanese schoolgirls." Her tentacles waved at Maeve and Maeve waved back as the girl flounced off.

"…God damnit," Maeve muttered.

From JoeHundredaire's Trigamy:Trio Version
http://www.tthfanfic.org/Story-10659-26 ... ersion.htm

[mondu_the_fat]

From Galaxies Apart

“I have to report that, in our efforts to establish a ground base for troops and equipment on the forest moon, sir, we were forced to…er, deal with several tribes of the indigenous peoples. The matter is now closed, sir.”

Tarkin looked up from his battle readiness report. “Hmm?” he said absently, “Ewoks, were they?”

The young lieutenant, sweating, glanced down at his readout. “Ewoks sir, that’s correct.”

“What’s your name, lieutenant?”

The wretched officer let out a small resigned breath with a dejected whee. “Lieutenant Markon, sir.”

Tarkin’s cold stare impaled him. “New on the command crew, are you?”

“Promoted last week, sir.”

“And just,” Tarkin paused for effect, “how many of these Ewoks did you…deal with, Lieutenant?”

Rich scrabbled through his figures, desperately trying to save himself. “Six thousand, sir.”

Tarkin drummed his fingers on the desktop for a while, interestedly observing a trickle of perspiration that was circumnavigating Markon’s nose and mouth. It plopped to the deck wetly.

“Excellent work, Lieutenant. Feel free to use similar methods in future.”

“Yes, sir!”

[CRBWildcat]

From Double Take, by Carolynn "Aerie" Marie and Jennifer L. Anderson:

"But I suppose you're going by a different name now," the flame-haired gargoyle continued. "It's no fun being alone and constantly on the run, is it?" she asked mildly, much more so that Robyn would have ever expected. She sounded almost sympathetic.

"No," Robyn said quietly before she could stop herself. She found her mind turning in a direction that until just a few seconds ago would have been utterly unthinkable. If Mr. Nicholas Maddox could not help her with her plan to free and care for her brothers, maybe Ms. Dominique Destine could. With the right combination of her resources and Robyn's planning...

Robyn mentally slapped herself. What was she thinking? This was the Demon. The same heartless creature who had killed her father. Her grip on the candlestick holder tightened, and her eyes narrowed in anger.

The Demon regarded Robyn's expression coolly. "Of course, you have caused me and mine a great deal of trouble... still, it'd be such a pity for your unique... talents to go to waste."

Suddenly Robyn didn't trust a word she said. She wanted something. The young woman edged in her chair closer to the door, ready for a moment when her hostess would let her guard down.

The boy in Robyn's arms suddenly yawned. "Oh fun's fun, but enough is enough," he commented in a thoroughly bored tone. He snapped his fingers, growing in a ball of green light. Robyn bolted to her feet and nearly dropped him in surprise, while the candlestick holder tumbled from her hand and rolled away across the floor. She gasped and finally released her grip as the normal-looking child vanished and a strange little man with long white hair and pointed ears took his place. Rubbing her eyes, Robyn sat down onto the carpeted floor in a daze at the sight of Puck, levitating a few feet above her.

Demona was up in an instant, probably looking for something iron to send in his direction, but he was quicker. Puck planted a kiss on her before she knew what hit her, and she fell backwards with a scream that made his large ears twitch in discomfort.

He snorted in an insulted manner, then peered at Robyn. "Well, hell-ooooooooooooooooo, Nurse!" He placed a large hand over his mouth in mock sheepishness. "Oh, sorry. I simply could not help myself. I need to stretch a bit after being gone for a while. You know how hard getting back into the swing of things is after a good ol' vacation."

Puck shook a shocked Robyn's hand and tipped an imaginary hat on his head. "Well, you did help me out, but I really don't suppose I can let you go free. And she," he swept his hand in the gargoyle's direction, "will probably want to do something nasty to you... and you to her, I imagine." He shrugged. "So I guess this is for your own good."

Puck sent a flash of light towards Robyn, binding and shackling her tightly in a straightjacket and gag, and wrapping her redundantly in a cocoon of crisscrossed chains from head to toe. In an instant, she was covered with so many locks that the whole prospect would have made Houdini shudder.

"I hate chains, myself," he admitted as Robyn thrashed, her indignant protests incomprehensible beneath the sturdy gag, "but it was either this or stuffing you in a trunk for the time being. And I didn't think you'd like that any better."

He put up one long forefinger in warning as Demona crouched into an offensive lunge. "Oh, please, do try me." An evil grin spread across his face. "You know, I've never attempted to change a gargoyle into a poodle, but I bet you'd look just precious with a little bob cut and a shaved rear." Demona snarled, but sat down in compliance at the threat. Puck clapped his hands. "Good girl!" An oversized toy bone suddenly materialized in Demona's jaws. She looked startled and her eyes blazed red as she tried to pry the 'reward' out of her mouth, but she only continued to growl when she realized it was stuck.

"I knew you'd like it!" He balked at her business suit. "I see you've have a change of fashion sense, hmm? Ick. Red isn't your color, you know." He deftly snapped his fingers, and Demona's clothes melted and congealed into her usual tatters. Her eyes darkened a bloodier red and she would have tackled him if only the cursed bone was out of her mouth...

He tapped his chin as if he was an artist inspecting his latest work, then gave a little shrug. "Perhaps I was wrong with the 'red isn't your color' comment. Oh, well. Can't win 'em all." He was quiet for a minute, but couldn't help adding, "By the way, I think you're a sweetie, too!"

Demona's eyes burned a bloody red.

Puck slowly drifted on his back to the coffee table with his arms behind his head and one leg over the other. He helped himself to an apple from a fruit basket and poured a glass of Perrier to wash it down. "Hmm, may I have some? Don't mind if I do!" He peered at the other two, one struggling in the straightjacket and chains and the other hissing bloody murder and attempting to wrestle the toy bone out of her mouth. A small, almost unnoticeable smile passed over his face before he kicked a banana up into the air. He caught it in one hand and pretended to dial it as if it was a telephone.

[Tuisto]

This comes from "Chronicles of the Crusade" series. One of the very best Babylon5/Excalibur, Stargate:SG1/Atlantis fusion crossover of epic proportions.
One of the MUST Reads of Bab5/Stargate fusions.

Behind him, with no warning the moon exploded.

On the far side of the small moon, as the Excalibur sling shotted around it had vented its hanger bay, hurling Carter’s shuttle and its lethal cargo into the surface of the large rocky ball. That cargo, the largest explosive device ever fashioned by human hands, received its final confirmation order and did what it had been designed to do.
The moon shattered, its icy surface and rocky core crumbling into uncounted pieces and blasting outwards, most of it heading for the Minbari ship.
“Evasive action!” Kathenn screamed. “Do something!”
The helm officer was a master of his craft, and astonishingly dodged the biggest pieces of rock, but could not avoid the innumerable smaller rocks bracketing his ship like buck shot. The black armour was overpowered, stripped off and burnt away. Its defences eroded like sand on a beach, swept away by the tidal wave of rocks and energy.
The Excalibur also caught the shockwave, bouncing as if it were made of rubber, and losing power. The blast passed quickly, leaving both ships shaken and heavily damaged.
“What was that!” Kathenn spat blood. “Did they just blow up their own moon! What kind of maniacs are we fighting!”

and the followup...

“I can’t believe we just blew up a moon.” Matheson shook his head. “I’m not accepting that one anytime soon.”
“Well Saturn has so many, who’s going to miss that little thing?” Gideon pulled a face. “I doubt anyone will even notice. We just won’t mention it, see what happens.”
Matheson sighed. “We’re going to jail forever.”
Gideon grinned. “Well worth it. Now lets get those engines working, I want my girl to arrive at Io under her own power. She’s earned that dignity.”
“I’ll help.” Carter offered.
“Great, and this also gives us time to make sure we get our stories straight Now repeat after me… Moon? What moon?”

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3140820/10/ ... _Long_Road

[bissek]

From Roku Naruto:

In the middle of the clearing, Kakashi stood, reading his porn. Little did he know, he was in for the shock of his life.

Suddenly, Kakashi jumped out of the way of a hail of kunai.

“Doing the same thing over and over isn’t going to get the job done Naruto” he taunted. “Maybe you shou-”

He was cut off as he was forced to dodge…a sofa?

‘What the…?’

This was quickly followed by tables, chairs, trees, roof tiles, more chairs, stuffed cats, real cats and many other random objects.

As Kakashi dodged a lawnmower, he yelled out the question anyone would be asking themselves.

“Where is he getting this stuff?!”

Deciding to test a theory, he hit an oncoming telephone pole with a kunai. The pole poofed away.

‘So he’s having his bunshin henge into random objects and throwing them at me? Okay…this kid has issues. Though it is effective. What the…?’

His train of thought stopped as about 200 clones all jumped high into the air above him. The clones all made the ram handsign and Kakashi tensed as he prepared for an attack. It would be a futile effort.

The clones cried out as smoke obscured them.

“TAJUU BUNSHIN HENGE!”

As the smoke cleared, Kakashi’s mouth dropped and he thought only one thing.

‘WTF?!’

“TROJAN BUNNY!!”

The clones had henged into a giant wooden rabbit that was now falling on Kakashi.

Realizing that this could be a serious threat if he didn’t do something, Kakashi made handsigns as the bunny fell on him.

“RAIKIRI” the legendary lightning blade easily cut through the henged clones, dispelling the large rabbit.

In the trees above him, only one thought was going through several clones heads.

‘Operation WTF…success’

[Atlan]

“Need any more help?” said Kim. “If not, I’ll just call my parents…”

“No!” said Shavers. “We’re on a mission! No personal calls. If you need to make a call, tell me so I can set up a Sherlock.”

“Sherlock?” said Kim.

“An untraceable phone call.” said Shavers. “What, you’ve never read ‘The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress’?”

Kim groaned. “Oh, please… not another book on BDSM relationships!”

From Tripple X: Anything's Possible
http://archive.kpslashhaven.net/authors ... _X_06.html

[Comartemis]

Here's one from the latest chapter of Dark Titans by Lathis, wherein the remnants of HIVE and the NWC meet up for, of all things, a few hours on World of Warcraft. This one's more an excerpt than a quote, but just like the rest of the fic, it's very much worth the read.

He continued his trek, walking carefully through the verdant plain, ever alert. Despite the lush beauty of the rolling grasslands which surrounded him, with breathtaking swathes of flowers tantalizing the eye and the occasional tree offering shade, he knew that enemies could literally appear from nowhere if he wasn’t careful.

He was almost at his destination, though - almost at the meeting place.

“Ahhh . . .” He breathed a sigh of relief when he finally spotted the monolith which his cavalcade of companions traditionally used to locate one another. As he closed in, his crimson robes, trimmed with fabric of glittering gold rustling through the tall grass, he could see that one of his companions was already present.

Though most would have hesitated nervously at the imposing sight of his teammate, he strode forward with nary a pause. The person before him, if indeed the term ‘person’ applied, towered over him, easily topping eight feet. The pair of horns that tipped the beast’s shaggy, bovine head added nearly another two feet to its already intimidating height. Though, considering the intensely muscled frame of the monster, with arms as thick as his waist and hooves of chiseled obsidian . . . not to mention the wicked looking double bladed axe at its side, the horns weren’t all that imposing.

Unfortunately, for all of the walking mountain of muscles’ immense strength and boundless ferocity, the glowing words hanging above the Tauren’s head revealing his name to be: ‘IFraggedUrMom’, would forever prevent anyone from taking him seriously.

The massive minotaur waved a meaty hand in greeting as it noticed his approach.

“Yo, Mousse, long time no see!”

Mousse, or as he was known in this realm, ‘Death_Raven, Blood Elf Sorcerer Supreme’, nodded in reply. He had, as of recently, considered changing his name to Steel-Mallard, but wasn’t sure how. Certainly, Death_Raven was an excellent name, but he was no longer so comfortable with it, considering why he had chosen it. Luckily, ‘HeWhoPlansToMurderRaven,PreferablyWithAnAssortmentOfRustyHooks’ had already been taken, so he’d settled for the more innocuous title.

Meh, he’d live with it.

“Hail, mighty and noble Tauren. It has been many moons since last we parted ways,” Death_Raven finally replied. He suppressed his smirk as much as possible, since he knew how much Gizmo hated it when people spoke ‘In Character’.

“Oh, don’t even start with that RP crap, Mousse! I’m here to splatter things with tree trunks, not pretend to be some namby pamby fairy from another world.”

Sorcerer Mousse shook his head slowly, smiling helplessly. “You’ve never quite grasped the spirit of the ‘role’ playing part of the game, have you, Giz?”

The Tauren waved in disgust. “What’s to know? You roll the dice and stuff happens. This game just cuts out the useless dice and paper junk.”

The Blood Elf’s smile flowed into a condescending /smirk. “You’re absolutely right. We wouldn’t want anyone using their imaginations. Heaven forbid.”

“Pffft. Who needs imagination when you got a fifty six inch HD screen hooked up to a computer with enough RAM to lay siege to a good sized castle?”

“Please tell me you two aren’t going on about that again.”

The Tauren and the Blood Elf both turned in response to the pleasant, though not at all lyrical voice of the Night Elf that casually strolled around the monolith. True to the female’s nature, she went unseen until she wished it otherwise.

Naomi_Alicia_Benton, Seventeenth level Rogue Extraordinaire flowed across the distance, her ebon cloak doing more accentuating than concealing by far. The sly Night Elf gave the two of them a quick once over before a rare, genuine smile graced her lips.

“It’s good to see you again, Mousse . . . such as it is, anyways.”

Sorcerer Mousse nodded fondly. “Tell me about it. Heh, you can probably imagine my surprise at my old HIVE communicator suddenly ringing in the middle of the night. I honestly never thought I’d hear from you again after you and your boys went rogue . . . no pun intended.”

Rogue Nabiki rolled her eyes. “As funny as usual Mousse, i.e: Not at all. Honestly, I hadn’t really planned on keeping too many ties to the past either, but after getting that message from Jinx that she was heading our way, I was suddenly inspired to play again.”

Warrior Gizmo chuckled madly. “It’ll be good to see the old scarecrow again. Say, you think the whole crew will show?”

The Blood Elf shrugged doubtfully. “I wouldn’t get my hopes up. I’m surprised I made it on, considering my schedule, and I can hardly imagine Jinx has a steady internet connection with what she’s doing.”

Their Night Elf leader leaned towards him, obviously interested. “Reeeaally? And what exactly is your schedule lately? And how exactly do you know what Jinx is doing with her time again?”

Sorcerer Mousse tugged at his collars, sweating fireballs. Damn woman! Could he not even make minor slips without her picking up on them?

“Umm . . . ah – I don’t know what she’s doing. I mean, we all saw her leave with you, but she obviously isn’t with you now, so who knows what she could be doing?” He ended with a few weak chuckles.

Rogue Nabiki shot him a look that promised she would pry his darkest secrets from the very depths of his soul with those rusty hooks he had planned to use on Raven, but that she didn’t feel like it at the moment. He shuffled a little closer to the towering Tauren, feeling much less fearful of the potential Happy Meal than the mercenary woman before him.

“Hey, speak of the devil!” boomed the Tauren Warrior.

The minotaur pointed excitedly to the east, indicating a new figure approaching their position. The figure soon resolved itself into the graceful, flowing form of a blue skinned female humanoid, made all the more alluring for her obvious inhumanity. The familiar Draenei Priestess waved excitedly as she closed in on their position.

“Hey, Guys!” cried the Priestess labeled ‘Hecate’. A moment later, she joined their circle, smile positively beaming before she latched onto the Tauren’s arm in a crushing embrace . . . or, in this case, the complete opposite of that.

“Hey, Giz! It’s been way too long.”

The large Warrior blushed right through his shaggy coat, rubbing the back of his neck at the overly mushy greeting. Hecate then spun gracefully back to the center of the gang.

“So, did you guys miss me?” the Priestess asked teasingly.

Sorcerer Mousse scratched his chin, chuckling to himself. “Four or five times, if I recall, Jinx.”

Priestess Jinx stuck her tongue out in his direction before giggling impishly. “It’ll be a lot more fun hanging out now that you aren’t out to kill me, or that Shampoo hussy isn’t around to get in the way.”

The haughty Blood Elf prepared to retort to the sorceress’ – um, Priestess’ ‘Hussy’ accusation, if only by rote, when the Roguish Nabiki seemed to literally materialize between them.

“What’s this I hear? Big mean Mousse trying to kill cute little Jinx? That sounds like a pretty neat trick for someone that hasn’t seen her since the Academy . . .”

Oh crap! It felt like his gold trimmed collar was hell bent on strangling him right then and there. Of all the people in the world, Nabiki was the last one he wanted to be able to connect him back to Luthor. Even with his new salary, there was no way he’d be able to afford it.

Seductively, the Night Elf sidled up between the Sorcerer and the Priestess. “Now, where do you suppose something like that could have happened?”

The Blood Elf’s mind was racing now, his over taxed brain straining for a suitable, believable lie, when-

“Oh, it’s no big deal, Biki. Me and Happi swung by Japan for a few weeks of training. One of our raids happened to be through Shampoo’s dresser. To be honest, I was surprised there was actually any underwear in her room to steal-”

“Hey!”

“Needless to say,” Priestess Jinx continued, ignoring his outburst. “When the inevitable fight happened, it was me and Happi versus Mousse and Shampoo, so you can imagine how proud he must be of that little encounter.”

To the Sorcerer’s eternal relief, the Rogue named Naomi_Alicia_Benton nodded in agreement, apparently buying the blue skinned Draenei’s story.

Feeling a little emboldened, the Blood Elf shrugged. “I can honestly say that I wish more people defeated Shampoo and I like Jinx did.”

The Priestess giggled shamelessly at the memory.

Which was about the time that Warrior Gizmo groaned loudly, out of the blue. “Sheesh! Are you pit-munchers done blabbing yet? I’m here to play, so let’s go!”

To the Blood Elf’s side, the Draenei looked around inquisitively. “But we’re still down one. Isn’t he coming?”

Rogue Nabiki shrugged helplessly. “I sent the message. Whether he got it or not, that’s anyone’s guess.”

Priestess Jinx pouted cutely. “Awww, but it just won’t be the same without him.”

“Nay! It most assuredly would not, fair Maiden of the Cloth!”

The quartet turned as one to greet the final member of their team striding proudly through the verdant field to join them. The dashing male’s silver armor gleamed in the sun and the bejeweled broadsword that hung easily from his back glittered like a thousand tiny stars. The glowing title above his head named him ‘Miyam0t0_Mu5a5hi’.

A moment later, the majestic Human was among them and he gallantly removed the massive, winged helm from his head, revealing chiseled, aristocratic features.

“Well met my . . .” The Human took a moment to regard them all. “. . . my not entirely noble compatriots. Miyamoto Musashi, Eighteenth level Paladin of the Holy Light and Rising Star of the Alliance has arrived.”

Rogue Nabiki smiled, obviously in spite of herself. “I have to admit, I’m surprised you actually came out, Kunou-baby.

“Yeah, what’s up with that, Tatie? I’d heard from Biki that you’d gone hero on us,” Priestess Jinx asked curiously.

“Indeed, my noble personage has joined the illustrious legion of those who would protect our fair world. Thusly, you can imagine my surprise when, scarcely even a week since last my teammates and I faced Nabiki and her minions-“

“Hey!”

“-in battle, I didst receive her request to partake of this most entertaining past time. Indeed, I honestly know not why I even retained the communicator of my villainous past, in retrospect.”

Sorcerer Mousse chuckled easily. “Heh, are you sure you should be here, Kunou? Isn’t gaming with your arch nemesis a conflict of interest?”

Paladin Kunou waved off his concern. “Bah! What know I of such lawyer speak? As long as we retain a discreet line betwixt our professional lives and our personal lives, I see little harm in such a virtual endeavor.”

“Exactly!” the Draenei agreed emphatically. “I mean, just cuz I’m not exactly a nice girl doesn’t mean I can’t hang out with heroes, does it?”

Rogue Nabiki smirked evilly. “If by heroes, you mean Ryouga, and if by hang out you mean make out, then it’s all good.”

‘Hecate’s’ scandalized protest was drowned out by the uproarious laughter of her companions.

Finally, the Blood Elf Sorcerer put out a hand to try to stop the laughter. “Okay, okay. I think we’ve all had enough fun at the expense of Jinx’s fang fetish-“

“Hey!”

“-But why don’t we get down to business? . . . Speaking of which, what was it we were going to do again?”

Immediately, everyone turned to the lovely Night Elf whom served as their (Behind the scenes) leader. The smile on her face let them all know that she knew exactly what the plan was.

“Alright, we got our work cut out for us on this one, so it’s a good thing you actually showed up, Kunou.”

The Human Paladin’s chest swelled with pride.

“Yeah, no one draws Aggro like Kunou,” chirped the massive Tauren Warrior.

Sorcerer Mousse shrugged. “That’s Kunou for you, always finding uses for his real world talents.”

“Do you mock me, servant of evil?”

“No, no . . . it’s scarcely necessary.”

“Churlish knave-”

“Okay, boys, that enough,” Rogue Nabiki cut in. “Now, we’re after the Zodiac Gloves for Jinx’s Priestess, which means we have to complete the ‘Look to the Stars’ quest. Gizmo?”

The mighty Tauren strode forward. “Okay, I checked the game sites and got the walkthrough and the FAQ’s, so this shouldn’t be too bad. Of course, first thing we gotta do is find Zzarc' Vul and-“

The Blood Elf looked to the Draenei, who looked to the Human who looked back to the Blood Elf. In unspoken agreement, Paladin Kunou spoke the words that were on all of their minds.

“Cease thy prattling, Bovine! We desire not spoilers, but seek the challenge of battling the unkown! Let us embark on our quest forthwith!”

Okay, so maybe he paraphrased what was on all of their minds, but he managed to get the point across. The Tauren pouted sadly, but the Priestess and the Sorcerer nodded ruthlessly.

“Yeah, I don’t have all night to play, you know?” the Blood Elf added for effect.

Rogue Nabiki let out a defeated sigh. “Fine, let’s go fight an Ogre without a game plan again. I do so love traveling with ghosts.”

Priestess Jinx smirked victoriously. “Alright, off to almost certain doom!”

Sorcerer Mousse was more than happy to let their resident Paladin charge forward to lead their stalwart group to glory. The Tauren followed close behind, not wanting to miss out on a single XP. Rather more sedately, the Blood Elf fell in line with the sashaying forms of the Draenei and the Night Elf.

“Oh, by they way,” the Priesess asked the Rogue, out of the blue. “It’s still alright for me and Happi to swing by your place, right Nabiki? He just wants to make a quick stop in Gotham, but that’s it.”

Rogue Nabiki grimaced visibly. “Do you have to bring Happosai?”

The Draenei replied with a weary sigh.

“Ah, c’mon, Biki. Happi isn’t that bad.”

As soon as the words were uttered, the entire World seemed to grind to a shuddering halt. Mousse was so shocked that he hit the wrong key and his Blood Elf broke out into a funky, if highly inappropriate dance.

Everyone turned to regard the Priestess; Paladin Kunou with jaw slack, Warrior Gizmo with eyes wide, Rogue Nabiki as pale as a ghost . . . and Sorcerer Mousse with hips gyrating suggestively . . .

“Oh, what tragedy to befall such a young and tender flower of womanhood,” lamented the Paladin melodramatically.

“N-not-not so bad?” the Sorcerer stuttered in disbelief.

The Rogue simply stared into nothingness, the utter paradox of Jinx’s words shutting down her brain’s higher functions. “She . . . she’s lost her mind . . .”

The mighty Tauren Gizmo looked to Jinx, then to the three shell shocked adventurers. Then, in a most casual manner, he shrugged.

“Meh, I always figured Jinx would snap first.”

“Hey!”