Rinne

[LawOhki]

The whole thing was a set-up from the beginning wasn't it?

Yes.

You've been vocal about how Kaede doesn't really want to be completely the plan with Ranma. While I imagine that her water dragon attack started out as a fit of anger can I assume the parts where she was trying to throw the fight were her attempting to give Ranma an out?

She can't intentionally go against the plan, which is that she loses to Ranma. Originally they were going to use jusenkyo as the gateway to transfer between realms because it has less complications than moving Ranma through the kitsune realm. Since Kaede failed in the 'simple' task, the plan was altered so that they could do it in a location where the odds of another failure were minimal.

I forgot to comment on your characterization of Kasumi. This is much closer to canon I feel. It's not that she is never "mean" its just that Kasumi being mean is mostly pranks or teasing.

Funnily enough, it was suggested early on that I throw some red herrings in to make it seem like Kasumi was another kitsune.

How did miss this foreshadowing?!? Especially after you mentioned something Genma did.

Plenty of layered foreshadowing in that comment and in another spot that won't become obvious until later, what did you mean specifically? I may or may not correct you.

Never noticed Kaede always padding her ears. Now I know why too.

It's always nice when I have things like that planned out so I can keep everything consistent.

After reading the whole thing through so far I've realized that Kaede's constant comments of Ranma being "different" are comparing him to the Kyuubi. Its interesting how she apparently interpreted Ranma's actions (when she mentioned Ranma lording his strength over others) when she was looking at him through her pov of Ranma is just like the Kyuubi.

Yup.

[ijp92]

Yes during the tournament right when Ranma gets changed into a girl it's mentioned that he has red eyes. No to Genma or Nodoka if you want to take a shot at her as well. Although I suppose Nodoka/Genma sort of kind of are the reason for everything.

Plenty of layered foreshadowing in that comment and in another spot that won't become obvious until later, what did you mean specifically? I may or may not correct you.

When I first asked about Ranma's eye color you responded with the first quote.

[LawOhki]

When I first asked about Ranma's eye color you responded with the first quote.

Well if Ranma is the reincarnated half of the Kyuubi how would Genma taking Ranma to the shrine when he was young had done anything about that? I'd explain that comment more but the reveal of it seems like it's too good to just be thrown out to the public. I can pm it if you want.

[Cheb]

When does Ranma actually go long periods of time running around without some kind of slipper on?

Every time it rains suddenly. The feet size differs, so his male slippers don't fit. *Every* time he transforms, he loses the slippers. Ranma-chan is shown mostly barefoot. Through snow and rocks she skips merrily, without footwear.
As one example of many: the Heron island arc. Ranma-chan is shown to run through Chinese wilderness barefoot (vol. 23, chapter 6).
Seriously, stop underestimating his toughness.
She would hardly notice! Not in combat, anyway!

P.S. Crap , now I have to retcon my own fic to correct this issue!

[LawOhki]

Every time it rains suddenly. The feet size differs, so his male slippers don't fit. *Every* time he transforms, he loses the slippers. Ranma-chan is shown mostly barefoot. Through snow and rocks she skips merrily, without footwear.
As one example of many: the Heron island arc. Ranma-chan is shown to run through Chinese wilderness barefoot (vol. 23, chapter 6).
Seriously, stop underestimating his toughness.
She would hardly notice! Not in combat, anyway!

P.S. Crap , now I have to retcon my own fic to correct this issue!

I'd agree that Ranma-chan ends up barefoot enough but it's not always voluntarily, nor does that immediately mean Ranma is perfectly comfortable doing so for long periods. Herb arc or the Man cherry tree chapter, Ranma wears a pair of slippers that fit. Any time where Ranma is expected to be female she's shown to be wearing fitting shoes. When chasing the mirror clone after she first gets loose, the mirror clone herself.

And I did change it so Ranma isn't complaining about the lack of shoes but in a lull between fights taking stock of her body and noticing that she has some rocks stuck in her feet.

[frice2000]

Every time it rains suddenly. The feet size differs, so his male slippers don't fit. *Every* time he transforms, he loses the slippers...

Seriously this is the discussion you decided to have? Ranma takes down 20+ ninja, deflects hundreds of throwing weapons with minor injuries but for exhaustion. But no that's all good! But the shoes! Man that's the point I need to focus on! Just seems a bit silly to me .

[Cheb]

takes down 20+ ninja, deflects hundreds of throwing weapons with minor injuries but for exhaustion.

I see nothing wrong here. Ranma is a Maito Guy-class Taijutsu monster. While the ANBU canonically suffer from the law of conservation of ninjutsu.

The fight looks pretty natural to me. Especially if they were going hand-to hand expecting the nine-tails avatar to be most dangerous at range, with tons of power but less skill. While Ranma is most dangerous up close. He was probably too fast for most of them, breaking their concentration. They had to interrupt their casting and switch to hand-to hand, and then they were toast.

[LawOhki]

This'll be the ending of the chapter, the first installment of the story that should run for the entire main story. And should vaguely parallel events.

====

A Fox Amongst the Leaves

Far from the woods with the great trees, dug into the side of a gently rolling hill, was the home of the young fox. Stocked with all the pleasurable amenities that made his life easy, he spent his days innocently frollicking with his neighbors, and enjoying any activity without a care.

One day, after a time of causing mischief, the fox was approached by an elder who always appeared and vanished with the wind. Inviting himself into the fox’s home, he sat smoking a long pipe, and occasionally scratching at his long silver beard as he explained why he had come.

Across the gentle hills in the woods with the great trees so big and tall that they could hide the sun. A cruel and evil monster had appeared. The young fox, who was strong and brave, was the only one who could put a stop to it.

But the young fox was also lazy. He had a great deal of pranks planned for the next day and the woods with the great trees was several days travel away. If he went, all his preparations would be wasted. He made a great show of complaining, begging the elder to find someone better, offering an endless amount of favors if he could remain. The elder would hear none of it, directing him to make haste for the wood with the great trees.

Finally he relented, agreeing to make the journey, and fight this evil. But he made no promises, planning that within a few days he could return without having to do a thing.



==========


And..... posted
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9309231/1/Rinne

[ijp92]

fav'd

[H3Knuckles]

Lawra, really great start, glad I stumbled onto this workshop thread for the peak ahead. I'd skip the 'drunks terrorizing the town' scene idea unless it has some specific relevance to the larger plot; Wonderland stories like this are usually better off getting to the meat of things sooner rather than later imho. However, one comment you made in this thread sticks out to me as problematic:

She can't intentionally go against the plan, which is that she loses to Ranma. Originally they were going to use jusenkyo as the gateway to transfer between realms because it has less complications than moving Ranma through the kitsune realm. Since Kaede failed in the 'simple' task, the plan was altered so that they could do it in a location where the odds of another failure were minimal.

But that makes no sense. If they wanted Ranma to win and go to Jusenkyo, all they had to do was get him to enter and let things play out. The only possible reason for Kaede to be involved would have been to sabotage or misdirect any viable competitors before they could get into the ring. Unless it's your intent for her participating to be a mistake (would make Ranma's boast in the fight somewhat ironic).

Oh, and an aside to Frice:

And one lucky quickly made strike and bite later the fox dances out of view as the pig slowly bleeds out. Blood spurting from the cut in its neck with each beat of it's increasingly rapid and panicked heart. The blood flow slowly ebbs as it's life leaks out of it's body the pigs heart slowing before stopping. The fox coming over slowly bites into the cooling piglet corpses stomach. The black pigs intenstines spilling from the new mauling before being greedily swallowed by the small red fox. The end.

That better? It is what I joked should be written as a matter of fact >.>.

Except, both the manga and the anime strongly indicate that physical training in one form benefits the other, so P-chan should have Bakusai Tenketsu skin-toughness. Unless that fox has some sort of ki or chakra technique for reinforcing his teeth/bite, and his characterization suggests that he's too young and inexperienced for that, I can't see him breaking the porker's skin.

[Blackcat101]

In most tales of kitsunes, they are physically weak, the only weapons they have are their teeth and wits. Is not so hard to think a kitsune teeth would be magical and so bypass chi defenses.

[LawOhki]

But that makes no sense. If they wanted Ranma to win and go to Jusenkyo, all they had to do was get him to enter and let things play out. The only possible reason for Kaede to be involved would have been to sabotage or misdirect any viable competitors before they could get into the ring. Unless it's your intent for her participating to be a mistake (would make Ranma's boast in the fight somewhat ironic).

Kaede's role was to weed out all the strong opponents. Ranma remarks that she had a much harder time because everyone who could possibly have been a threat to Ranma winning were placed against her. Once they got to the end she was supposed to lose. Technically she was able to lose twice while still making it seem like she tried her hardest.

Except, both the manga and the anime strongly indicate that physical training in one form benefits the other, so P-chan should have Bakusai Tenketsu skin-toughness. Unless that fox has some sort of ki or chakra technique for reinforcing his teeth/bite, and his characterization suggests that he's too young and inexperienced for that, I can't see him breaking the porker's skin.

I couldn't care less about the anime or anything it indicates. And it really doesn't matter because Ryoga and the little kitsune are going to be bestest of buds even though the fox is just out to prank Ryoga.

As for kitsune strength, the vast majority of them are quite weak. Kaede is actually exceptionally strong in comparison to everyone in her family. Why will come up later. But even she's only marginally as strong as Ranma. That said there are some very very powerful ones and it's not always based around how many tails they have.

[H3Knuckles]

I couldn't care less about the anime or anything it indicates. And it really doesn't matter because Ryoga and the little kitsune are going to be bestest of buds even though the fox is just out to prank Ryoga.

Heh, well as I said in the post, that was just a comment on what Frice wrote, I knew it had nothing to do with the actual story. Although I am kind of interested in the fact you singled out the anime there (I prefer the manga by a wide margin, but like certain anime-specific bits), but that's a conversation for another time as it's not germane to this thread.