Pinch Hitter - Ch. 2
Posted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 1:29 pmAs usual, available for commenting here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1U4r ... 3-HE/edit#
C&C is appreciated, as always.
～裏には裏がある
---
In the dead of night just a few hours after the eclipse, among the partially cloudy skies over Tokyo, a keen observer would have noted the black aircraft which lazily drifted over the horizon among the clouds. Though it flew in the air, its design was reminiscent of a Chinese Junk. Over what appeared to be a sail, emblazoned in bright gold:
宝
The Takarabune entered a cloudy patch of sky and disappeared.
Inside the ship, cloaked in a misty darkness, save for the banks of computers, their screens glowing with a sickly green light. Several alien beings are at work, the light placing them in silhouette. At the bow of the ship sat a figure, his face masked by his crimson and gold robe.
"Daikokuten... Yebisu..." the figured choked out in a deathly voice.
At once two figures appeared from the mist. They appeared to be middle-aged men, dressed in kimono They both wore red oni masks. The figure on the left had on a green cap and held a wooden mallet in his left hand. The one on the right carried what appeared to be a bamboo fishing pole in his right hand.
"Yes, my lord." The two figures kneeled, their heads bowed.
"It is time. You two have been chosen to begin our operations."
"Yes, my lord," the two figures said again, "The Number 6 and Number 7 Gods of Misfortune will not fail you!"
At the lord's nod, the two gods disappeared. The lord let out a slow, raspy laugh.
"Heh, heh, heh... You know not what awaits you, Serenity."
---
Pinch Hitter
Chapter 2: Contact
---
It was late at night when Akane Tendo let out a yawn as she closed her textbook. She had finished reviewing the three chapters for her course on Social Exclusion, Social Power and Deviance she needed to for the next day. Akane's room was mostly dark and her roommate at Tokyo Metropolitan University, Aki, was already asleep. Akane moved to turn off her desk lamp and go to bed herself when the phone rang. She picked it up.
"Hello?" she whispered.
"Akane!" Nabiki yelled.
"Sis? It's one in the morning!" She hissed. "Is everything okay?"
"Well... that depends on your definition of okay." she admitted.
Akane sighed. "What happened? Are Daddy and Uncle Saotome in jail again?"
"Not quite..." Nabiki hesitated as soft moaning could be heard in the background, "wait a sec, I think he's coming around... here ya go."
"Huh? Hello?" Akane asked.
"-kane?" Ranma said weakly.
Akane was only mildly surprised to hear Ranma's girl voice. "Ranma! Are you okay?" she asked.
"Dunno... I was standin' around, then the power went out and I felt so dizzy," she said dreamily. "I had the nicest dream. We were in a fancy hotel room and I ate a huuuge ice cream sundae and then I was touchin' your boobs. And then you touched mine. And then you poured your tea on me and touched my-"
"Put Nabiki on the phone."
"Uh, Akane?" Nabiki said.
"You called me in the middle of the night to tell me you got my boyfriend drunk," she stated flatly.
"No... It's not that. Not exactly. He needed the alcohol. Something happened to Ranma. He's not in a good way."
"Did he think he could down a fifth of whiskey again? Typical macho-"
"No! It's-" Nabiki tried to explain but she was interrupted by a loud wailing that Akane could hear over the phone line.
"Ahh! I miss my dick already..."
"Shit, he's trying to shower in his clothes again! I gotta go!" Nabiki said.
"Nabiki! Wait! What-" Akane pulled the phone away when she realized Nabiki had hung up.
"Something wrong, Akane?" Aki said, sleepily.
Akane shook her head. "No. My boyfriend, sh-he apparently, um, hit his head or something. My sister is watching him."
"Good to hear. Concussions aren't good for you," Aki said.
Akane shrunk at that remark. Since her anatomy course last semester, she regretted the number of blows to Ranma's head she had personally inflicted with fist, elbow, hammer, table, or otherwise convenient blunt object over the years.
"Yeah," Akane admitted.
"Night, Akane." Aki said before turning over in her bed.
"Night," Akane said. She turned off the desk lamp and got into bed, but she found it hard to get to sleep that night.
---
In a repeat of events a few hours before. Nabiki looked down at Ranma, who was splayed on the floor, groaning slightly. She gave the martial artist a kick. "Okay Saotome, snap out of it!"
Ranma turned her attention towards Nabiki."Why should I? I'm fuckin' locked!"
"I think this is more serious than just your curse."
"What's more serious than that?" she asked vehemently. "Do you know how disgusting the hallway toilet it in my place? Barely tolerable standing, but now I gotta-"
"I don't even believe- did you even look at yourself? You were glowing! This isn't just Chinese magic gone awry this time."
Ranma blinked and sat up. She began patting her hands all over her body. From the sleeve of her shirt, she pulled out the wand.
"It was this piece of junk!" Ranma declared.
"Well obviously. You did something when you started talking. What did you say again?
"Hell if I know," Ranma spat out. "I just said the first thing that came ta mind."
"I'd probably start thinking about what it was that came to mind... after you sober up."
Ranma stood up slowly, holding her head with one hand. "Hey 'Biki, can I just crash here tonight? I'm too drunk to drive home."
"I have lecture at eight," Nabiki warned.
Ranma nodded as she tied her hair into a loose ponytail and flopped onto the couch. "Works for me. I gotta get up at seven, anyway. I got my Kinesiology Seminar, then work, then Tae Kwon Do practice."
"Aren't we busy. What are you going to do about your little problem?"
Ranma grunted. "What about it? I ain't gonna solve it tonight. And 'sides, it ain't a secret or nothin'. Just a pain in my ass."
Nabiki looked at her sudden houseguest as she began snoring on her couch. After draping a blanket on Ranma, she went to bed.
---
It was early in the morning when Usagi woke up. She was disoriented, unsure where she was. As her eyes cleared she realized she was in her room. She found it somewhat funny that it had changed little since middle school, only the large numbers of photos of her friends, Mamoru, and Chibi-Usa really marking the passage of time. She saw a large photo of all of her friends, Naru and Umino included and smiled faintly.
She then recalled the events of the night before and began to frown. She stayed in bed, trying to suss out everything that had happened, but everything felt unreal, as though she was waking up from a nightmare.
"Usagi?" a voice softly cried out. "Are you awake?"
The blonde teenager rolled over on her side and looked at the floor. She saw one of her best friends and advisor licking her right paw.
"Yeah Luna. I feel like I've slept for ages," Usagi said.
"Do you remember what happened last night?" Luna asked. Usagi felt her stomach drop.
"Sort of." She sat up and summoned the Ginzuishou. In her hand, the crystal shone brilliantly and she could feel her will and her life force flow between herself and the crystal. However, she felt that there was something different, something that wasn't present, yet deeply painful. It reminded Usagi of a news report she saw about people with amputated limbs and phantom pains.
"We were fighting the youma. I tried to defeat them, but... when I was summoning my attack, I felt like there was a rubber band inside me that snapped."
"Have you tried becoming Sailor Moon since then?"
Usagi shook her head. "I'll try Luna."
She summoned the Holy Grail and held it in her hands as she closed her eyes. Usagi whispered:
"Silver Moon Crystal Power, Make Up."
Usagi wasn't surprised when nothing happened. She laid back down in her bed and began weeping quietly.
---
Ranma wasn't so much hung over from the alcohol as she was from the reality of what happened finally dawning on her. A third shower in the morning still hadn't reversed the condition and, as much as she racked her brain, she couldn't remember what she had said that caused the problem in the first place.
Either way, when she left Nabiki's apartment, she got on her motorcycle and, after a quick stop home to change clothes and pick up her school books and a few other documents, headed down to Setagaya Ward and the campus of her alma mater, Nippon Sports Science University.
NSSU wasn't a very large school in terms of its student population, but it was home to some of the finest athletes in the country. The campus was, counter to many Tokyo-area schools, wide and green with a large number of athletic fields, gymnasiums, and practice spaces for the various student-athletes the school admitted into their programs. Ranma herself entered on a Martial Arts scholarship which, along with the possibility of majoring in Health Science along with Martial Arts, meant she had focused on school in a way she never had in high school.
After a quick stop to grab tea and onigiri from the student center, she made it to her 9AM lecture right on time. She took copious notes and, aside from the occasional stares from her classmates, it felt like any other day.
However that illusion of normalcy ended when, five minutes before the end of class the professor looked at her. He was a short, thin man in the latter part of middle age. Bald, he wore a cheap suit and had a habit of wiping his forehead with a handkerchief during his lectures.
"Miss?" he asked pointedly.
It took Ranma scanning the room for other female students to realize it was her he was talking to. She looked at the middle-aged man. "Uh, yeah professor?"
"I've only seen you in lecture sporadically. Are you in the Women's College?"
"Damn it." Ranma thought, realizing of course, those days were one in which she got caught in the rain."Uh, no... Just a regular student, sir," she replied.
"Really?"
Ranma cursed inwardly, hoping he wouldn't ask her her name. That wish granted, the Professor instead decided to rant at her, "I may not take attendance here, but I seriously doubt you will pass the final exam at the end of the month with your record, Miss."
Ranma hung her head and nodded. "Yes, Professor."
Addressing the class as a whole once more, he said, "Well with that, good luck everyone."
Ranma sighed as she put her notebook away. "Damn it, gonna have to explain it to him. Thank god for Tofu" she thought as she patted her bakpack.
---
"This sucks," Makoto said, as she pulled out a tuft of grass by the tree she and Minako were sitting at during lunch period the next day. Neither of the two were particularly hungry.
Senior Year had proven to be quieter and more lonely than it had been in years before when six of the senshi attended the school. With Haruka and Michiru and, later, Ami, graduating to college, it had gotten a smaller and quieter. With the absence of young Hotaru and, more crucially, the cheery, over-energetic Usagi, it felt more like a wake than another day at school.
"Any word from Ami?" Minako asked.
Makoto shook her head. "No. She said she was going to start an analysis of the readings soon, but she has a term paper for her seminar on Naturalist Literature, and final exams in her classes in Neuroanatomy, Discrete Mathematics, and Organic Chemistry."
"Those are actual subjects?" Minako asked.
"...right." Makoto said, "Did Usagi talk to you."
Minako shook her head. "Luna called me. She's not feeling well. She isn't sick, just..." She frowned. "She's depressed."
"What do we do if Usagi can't... you know?" Makoto asked,
Minako replied bluntly, "We do what we've sworn to do. Protect the Queen at all costs."
"but those youma..." Makoto thought to herself as the bell for the next period rang.
---
A university library may, at first glance, appear to be a stifling work environment for someone as high energy as Ranma Saotome. Then again, this was the Nippon Sports Science University's Health Sciences library and, while most of the students were of human-proportioned strength and aggression, some rivaled the old Nerima gang in their strength speed and pig-headed stubbornness. During finals week, even that distinction was dropped as student would run around the building, using far more energy than was strictly necessary to chase down the correct textbook or journal article for a term paper.
This made the job a more like bouncing than filing, which Ranma appreciated. Further adding to the workplace chemistry was the fact that, for a library, the staff was surprisingly athletic and Ranma dug the combination of physically fit, active people who were also easy-going, laid back librarians.
Of course, today would test that easy-going attitude as Ranma made her way behind the checkout desk and punched into work. She then headed back towards a small booth near the entrance of the library. She broke out a textbook and began reading, glancing up whenever someone entered or exited the building.
About an hour into her shift, the head librarian entered the building. He was a tall, leanly muscled man who looked more like a welterweight boxer than an accomplished researcher and archivist.
"Who are you? Where's Saotome?" the librarian asked.
"Um, I am Saotome, Dr. Yamada," Ranma replied.
"What are you talking about? Where's Saotome!"
Ranma reached into her duffel bag and pulled out a manila folder. She handed it to him.
"Here Boss. I don't really like ta talk about it, but this is from my doctor back home. You can call him or Coach Abe in the Martial Arts department. They'll vet me."
Dr. Yamada looked opened the folder and looked at the contents.
"Sudden Onset Chromosomal Shifting Disorder?" he muttered as he quickly scanned the pages of the document.
Ranma nodded. "Yeah... Had it for a while now. Usually it's okay, but sometimes I get stuck in one form or the other," she said, trying to appear casual.
"I take it this is one of those times?" he said, taking a breath..
"Yep. Dunno when I'll be fixed, but I hope it'll be soon."
"Hmm..." Dr. Yamada sounded dubious. "What floor do we stack oversized books?"
Without missing a beat, Ranma replied, "Trick question. Oversized books go on a side shelf near the elevator of whatever floor they're supposed to be in."
Dr. Yamada nodded. "Okay then. I'll give ol' Abe a call then. I take it you'd like me not to tell anyone?"
Ranma shrugged. "All my friends back home know about it, so it ain't exactly a secret, but I'd appreciate it if ya didn't blab it to just anybody, boss."
Dr. Yamada blinked, as if her reaction were stronger evidence than a folder or knowledge of library policy. "That's fair, Saotome." He handed the folder back to Ranma. "One issue though... You don't exactly project the certain 'strong-arm' image we like to see in our security detail."
"Well I ain't as strong as a girl, but I can still bench 150 kilos." Ranma walked towards a book cart by the checkout desk. She bent down and, with a hand, easily lifted the book cart and balanced it on a finger.
Dr. Yamada nodded approvingly. "Okay, but how are you going to deal with-"
"Oh my god! It's Adenosine Triphosphate, Jun!" A young man yelled out suddenly from the study area. He was tall and rather thin
"No way, Shuu. It's Adenosine Di-Phosphate! The cell needs to spend the phosphate group to do work!" The other young man was somewhat short, but much broader in stature.
"You're full of shit. I wrote it down on my notes here.” Shuu said, pointed tapping on a notebook with his fingers. “ATP!"
"ADP!"
"I swear Jun, if you say 'ADP' one more time, I'm gonna wring your neck.”
"A....D-"
Ranma grabbed the collar of Jun's shirt and pulled him up from his seat to eye level.
"There a problem here, gentlemen?" she asked coldly.
The two of them looked askance at Ranma, "Who the hell are you?"
"Library Staff. I'm required to ask politely that you please refrain from making noise. There are other patrons who would like to study for their exams."
"And what are you gonna do about it?"
Ranma let a feral smile slip, her teeth showing through her smirk. She always liked it when people thought they were making her job harder. She struck out with her left hand towards the table. With two fingers, she touched the notebook in question and said, "Bakusai Tenketsu." With a small pop, reminiscent of a bottle rocket, the notebook exploded into confetti. The two men's expression turned to ones of horror.
"Now take it outside or I'll do the same to the both of ya," she warned.
After Ranma escorted the two men out, she looked at Dr. Yamada and asked, "Good enough?"
"Good enough," Dr. Yamada noted, nodding approvingly. "Get back to work."
"Got it, boss," she nodded as she returned to her post.
Dr. Yamada looked up questioningly at the heavens as he sauntered to his office. "Good kid, just a little..." he muttered.
Ranma settled back into her work, keeping an eye on the now whisper quiet library. That is, until a tall, muscular, black-haired young man walked up with a confident smile.
“’Sup?" He asked. "Doing anything after your shift? Wanna get some coffee, babe?”
Ranma fought the urge to kill him on the spot. She needed the paycheck, after all.
---
A few days later, Makoto and Minako were quiet as they waited for class to start. Five minutes before the morning bell, Usagi walked into the classroom. Immediately, they stood to greet their absent friend.
"How are you feeling Usagi? Are you okay?" Makoto asked.
Usagi nodded. She said, in an off voice. "What did I miss? Is Mrs. Kuroda tearing her hair out because I've missed so much school?"
Minako scrutinized Usagi's expression. It looked blank, robotic. Like... "She trying's to hard not to let what happened bother her," Minako thought.
“Well we’re here for you if you need it,” Makoto said, smiling reassuringly.
"I really am feeling better, you guys," Usagi repeated.
Minako began to say "We didn't a-"
The bell rang and class began. Minako, when she could, snuck glances behind her to look at Usagi. She seemed emotionless, almost hollow. Whereas before, when she had become serious about her studies, she quickly write in her notebook, frantically erasing mistakes, her tongue sticking out the whole time. Now, she wrote slowly and methodically. She said nothing and the passion she had gained for learning replaced with a more sterile quietude.
Minako sighed as she turned back to her notes. She tuned out the lesson and began writing down ways to cheer Usagi up. As soon as she had a few ideas, she’d call Ami and Rei to confirm.
---
It was the middle of the week when Ranma entered the gym, wearing a well-worn blue gi with ‘NSSU Tae Kwon Do’ embroidered on the back. She performed several leg and back stretches, since, not too dissimilar to Anything Goes, Tae Kwon Do utilized many kicks and some airborne maneuvers along with more traditional hand strikes, armlocks, and, rarely, weapon usage. She paid little mind to the other members of the team.
She was brought in as a ringer the year before and had given the team a shot in the arm, though she never developed the sort of rapport one gains by going through the same adversity together. Her coach and mentor, Coach Abe, said that if she tried, she could probably make one of the two slots for the Olympics this year in Sydney. Ranma shrugged, knowing that the extra work to do that would cut into her schoolwork, her jobs, and what little time she already had with Akane.
Ranma stopped her movement and bowed deeply when Coach Abe entered the room. He was a tall, almost as tall as Tatewaki was, and a very broad-shouldered man. His skinned was deeply tanned and his hair was cut military short, giving him a very imposing appearance enhanced by the clean, but long-used gi and black belt with five golden hash marks on one of the ends of it.
Upon seeing Ranma, he blinked and walked over. In a loud voice he said firmly, “What are you doing Saotome! It’s the Men’s team practice today”
Ranma bowed, “Forgive me, sensei.” She stood and looked up. “I got stuck like this yesterday.”
“Stuck?”
“Remember when I told ya about my… ‘problem’?” Ranma asked.
“Yes. All true martial artists’ lives are fraught with peril…” he said sagely.
“Yeah, well... sometimes, I get stuck. Usually it’s an enemy who wants to break my spirit or thinks I’m weaker as a woman, but this time, it just happened. I’m kinda at a loss at what to do for the moment.”
Coach Abe nodded. “I see. Perilous indeed. Hmm...” Coach Abe thought, bringing his hand to his chin. “We’re all squared for the women’s team. I’d feel bad bumping one of them for you. But if you can’t ‘man up’, I’m sorry, but we can’t use you, Saotome,” he said in a grave voice.
“But it don’t affect my fightin’,” she argued. “I’ll fight on the Men’s team like this. I can kick their asses from here ta Seoul and back, even as a girl!”
Coach Abe shook his head and gave a pitying look at the redhead. “Look, Saotome. I like you and I know you’ve dealt with a lot of hardship in your life. Frankly, I’d give my left nut for an entire team of men like you, even with your condition. But I can’t field you if you’re stuck as a woman. Other teams won’t take us seriously if it seems like we can’t field a Men’s team with…” he grimaced, “Actual men.”
Ranma, with all her strength, fought back the rage. Her mentor, the man she aspired to be, had shut her out of the competition and maybe something more important. She swallowed slowly and took a few calming breaths.
“I get it, coach. I’ll see if I can figure out how ta get back to the way I was, but until then, if it’s for the good of the school, I understand.”
The weathered man grunted in assent. “I’m sorry I have to bench you, Saotome. I’ll keep in touch. You’ve done me enough favors the past year and half with the Judo, Kendo, and Tae Kwon Do teams. If you somehow get unstuck in the next month, let me know and I’ll give the spot back to you immediately.”
Ranma nodded. “‘Preciate it, Coach." She bowed once again. "If you’ll excuse me.”
Ranma left the gym and found a payphone. Reaching into her pockets, she dug out a hundred yen coin. She dialed the phone. After three rings, someone picked up the phone.
“Hello?” the voice asked.
“Hey, uh. Is Akane there?”
“No, this is her roommate. Akane is in class I think. Who may I ask is calling?”
“It’s Ra-“ Ranma paused. She realized that one she never showed up in Hachioji as a girl and two, Aki was a new roommate and had never met Ranma at all. “I’ll just call back. Thanks.”
Ranma hung up the phone and slowly made her way back home.
---
It was early evening when Mousse finally came home. While it was the typical Tokyo summer, hot, humid, and murder to his hair, all in all it was a very good day for the martial artist turned average citizen. He had gotten a very good score on his practice exam in juku. Some Americans he delivered pizza to gave him a tip which, not being groomed in the Japanese tradition of service industry ethics, he pocketed for his own use. Most of all, he received a gift from his girlfriend. He smiled at the thought of her: her long brown hair, her cheerful, pretty face, and her strength of character.
They met at a local juku just a few months ago in March. She was still in high school and he was effectively a ronin, having passed the National Exam that granted him high school equivalency the previous autumn. They had taken things slow at first since they were quite busy studying for university exams and working part-time (she worked nights at a bakery, he worked in pizza delivery and as a clerk in a convenience store). She was afraid of moving too fast, her first relationship having been emotionally scarring. Unsurprisingly, he understood exactly what she meant and he agreed they needed to go slowly.
Still, they both found they had a lot in common. They both lived alone, so were independent and mature in a way many others of their age weren’t. They liked to cook, though Mousse didn’t have the space to do so regularly. They appreciated education, even if they were average students. They had similar tastes in movies: martial arts films and romances. They also had similar goals in life. She wanted to run a bakery and a florists' shop. Mousse wanted to start his own business using his knowledge of skills from working in the Nekohanten and Damino's. Most importantly they both enjoyed Martial Arts, though Mousse knew she only saw it as a hobby. He didn’t need to give his heart to someone who fought as a vocation. It hurt too much to know how much he lost himself chasing after Shampoo and her ‘beat things up ask questions later’ ethos.
Mousse stopped. He had a tendency to brood when the thought of Shampoo came up. Out of spite, it seemed, he had gotten a letter from Cologne via Kasumi. There wasn’t much written, but instead, there were photos of Tarou and Shampoo's wedding celebration as well as an obviously pregnant Shampoo leaning against the arrogant bastard. His only consolation was that Shampoo appeared dead on her feet and Tarou seemed like a beaten man, beyond the bruises to his face that is. He got a week’s worth of laughter out of that image.
Mousse shook away the thoughts of the past and focused on the present. Or, more literally, the present he got from his girlfriend. A dozen cookies wrapped in a pink furoshiki cloth. Oatmeal raisin, his favorite. “Saotome might want some too. Haven’t seen the bastard in a couple all week.” Mousse stepped out of his apartment and walked next door. He saw the apartment door was unlocked and open slightly.
He knocked slowly on the door. "Yo, Saotome, you home?" He called out as he opened the door all the way. "Mako gave me.some cookies and I thoug-oh jeez, what the fuck happened to you?"
Ranma was slumped on the floor, sitting on the floor, her head resting on her knees. An empty beer can lay next to her.
Ranma looked up. "Yo," she said in a weak voice. "Two things. One, I got locked again."
"Gods... I'm sorry, man."
"That ain't the worst part."
"What's worse than being locked?" Mousse shuddered at the memory of being locked himself on Mount Horai.
Suddenly, a tall, burly young man popped his head into the open door. He took a quick glance at Ranma, leering at her figure, before asking Mousse, "Hey Mousse. Who's the hot broad in Saotome's place?"
Mousse blinked and looked at Ranma. "That is," she said.
The guy spoke up. "She that Akane he's always talkin' about?" Ranma and Mousse blinked.
"Uh, not-" Mousse began.
"Ha!" The man let out an obnoxious laugh. "I knew Saotome was a player. How many women does he got wrapped around his finger? Three? Fo-" He was knocked to the ground by a punch, courtesy of an angry redhead.
"Shut it Tanaka before I shut it for ya!"
Tanaka slowly stood up and raised his fists, “Bitch, don’t mess with me!”
"I wouldn't if I were you," Mousse said in a light tone.
"Or what, Chinaman? You gonna make me stop?"
Mousse took a step back and smiled. "I don't have to do anything, do I Ranma?"
Tanaka blinked and looked at the short redheaded girl who began to project her aura visibly, surrounding herself in a strange reddish glow.
"Nah, Mousse. I got this. " She gave Tanaka an evil-seeming grin as she smacked a fist against her open palm.
"Oh, shit." Tanaka breathlessly said.
---
Rei, Makoto, and Minako stood outside the apartment with some amount of trepidation.
“Are you sure she’s not just sleeping? Usagi seems to only want to sleep these days.” Rei asked.
Makoto shook her head. “Rei! How can you say that about Usagi? She's... you haven't seen her the last few days. At least Luna and Artemis are watching over her. Ami though, she hasn’t replied to any of our messages and Mina tried calling her, but nothing.”
“Doesn’t matter. We need to have a meeting about what happened to Usagi and the youma that attacked us on Sunday. It can’t wait any longer. Not with Usagi like she is.” Minako said, which prompted Makoto to nod sadly.
Rei knocked on the door. There was silence for about 10 seconds before the door slowly opened.
Ami Mizuno had seen better days. In some ways, she looked worse than after a night of battling criminals and youma. Her hair was tousled, the lack of proper brushing making it frizzy in the humidity of summer. Her eyes were bloodshot. She was dressed in pajama pants and a t-shirt and she smelled like she hadn’t seen a shower in a while.
“Ami?” the three visitors asked.
Ami blinked and rubbed her red eyes. “Oh goodness, did I forget something? I’m sorry I’m having a rough week, Finals and all that…” she looked behind her.
“Um…” Minako began. “We’re sorry to bother you but…”
“We need to talk,” Rei said.
“About Usagi,” Makoto explained.
“And the youma that attacked us,” Minako finished.
Ami stood frozen for a second, nodding slightly, as though the words were coming to her with a satellite delay. Finally she blinked, “Oh! Of course. Come in guys… I’m sorry the apartment is like this. My mother is understanding of the mess, thankfully.“
Entering the apartment, they saw it was in something of a mess with textbooks and papers scattered on the carpet. It looked like everything was, at one point, neatly organized by subject and importance, but now it was a whirlwind of data. The kitchen seemed clean, though the trash was near overflowing with takeout boxes.
“I’ve been doing an analysis whenever I had a break from homework or exams. Unfortunately, that means it’s cut into the 168 hours I normally use for personal errands like sleep and grooming.“
“Tokyo University is a lot of work, huh?” Makoto asked.
Ami waved her hand. “It isn’t so bad usually… the end of the semester is rather more difficult than I expected. I’m taking a diverse course load, so it feels like I have to shift gears too much too quickly. Our new enemy is another stressor. I shudder to think how high my cortisol levels must be.” She picked up the Mercury Computer from a table in the living room. Moving a stack of scratch paper aside she set it down and opened it
"I’ve been letting the computer run a script I coded earlier this week." She began typing a sequence into the computer "I unfortunately didn’t record visual of what happened to Usagi, but I have ambient readings of energy." A visual graph the ebbed and flowed over time was displayed. "At some point, near eleven o'clock, there was a spike of Chaos energy, which somehow collided with Sailor Moon’s Lunar Magic.”
“You mean she was attacked?” Minako asked.
Ami shook her head, “No. At least not a direct one. It would have been obvious if it was a directed attack. It was more like Sailor Moon was engulfed by the energy spike and then both the Chaos and Lunar energy were gone.”
“So the Chaos energy stripped her of her power?”
“I believe so, but it’s only a hypothesis. I’d need more data to generate more sophisticated models in order to get a clearer picture.” Ami said. Suddenly, she felt faint and slumped down on a chair.
"Ami?” Makoto asked, “How long have you've been at this? All of …this?"
Ami lolled her head to the side to read a clock on the wall which indicated the late afternoon hour. "Um... What day is today?"
"Friday," Rei replied.
“Then 57 hours and 23 minutes, give or take."
The three other girls’ eyes widened. "Ami! That's enough.” Minako exclaimed. “You're no good to us half-dead. When did you last eat?”
“Well I had tea with honey a few hours ago.”
“When did you last eat for real?” Makoto asked.
“Thurs… day?” Ami said, somewhat bashfully.
“Okay, that settles it.” Rei said. “Let's get you something to eat, okay?"
"But, my work-"
"Can wait!” Minako exclaimed. “Hey, why don’t we try that burger place that just opened! Ami deserves some fries for all her trouble."
Makoto nodded. “Yeah.” The tall girl helped Ami to her feet and the four of them left in search of fast food.
---
Inside a fluorescent lit, cheaply carpeted room, the two Gods of Misfortune Daikokuten and Yebisu stood behind a desk . In front of them were six, humanoid youma. Their bodies misted over with dark energy, casting them in shadow save their blindingly white, sharp teeth. The largest of the six stood in the center.
"Do you understand the plan," Yebisu asked.
"Yesss, my Lord Yebisu," a high-pitched hiss emanated from the youma leader.
"We need to amass control of human will in order to bring the Serenity out of hiding. When she arrives, destroy her."
"Yesss, my Lord Daikokuten."
"Well then. We expect a lot of... 'sales'. Steal their life energy, bring us the Serenity!"
The six youma saluted before changing their appearance to more human-like guises.
"Let's go. Order Up!" The lead youma yelled.
Ranma took a bite of her second oatmeal raisin cookie. “Thanks, man. Your girlfriend made them?” she asked, her mouth half-full. “You’re a lucky dude.”
‘I thought Akane was getting better at cooking,” Mousse asked.
Ranma snorted in laughter. “Better than awful still don’t mean it’s any good. Her cookies are like chewing on charcoal that tastes like old coins. I think she’s finally decided sucking at cooking don’t make her a bad person or somethin’.” She shrugged. “Works for me. If I never get sick to my stomach again, I’ll live with it.”
Mousse chuckled to himself before becoming serious. “So you have any idea how you got locked again?” he asked.
Ranma shook her head. “Not a goddamn idea. This ain;t like the old ghoul or Herb. It ain’t like some asshole came by and deliberately attacked me.”
“So what happened.”
“I dunno. I was just helpin’ Nabiki out with that stupid photoshoot. I was stadin’ around feelin’ like a jackass in that Sailor Senja outfit. Then it all went kinda blurry. When I woke up, I tried takin’ a shower, but nothin’.”
Mousse nodded. “You don’t remember anything else.”
Ranma grimaced. “I… Man, I don’t wanna talk about this no more. Ya wanna play some Go?”
---
Minako and the others wandered to a shopping district just south of Azabu-Juuban. They stopped in front of a new restaurant, a blue banner announcing it’s Grand Opening with the Words:
NOS BURGER GRAND OPENING SALE: 50% OFF ALL MENU ITEMS
"NOS Burger..." Ami read aloud. “Interesting.”
“Well, it’s cheap anyway,” Rei added.
Inside, the restaurant seemed like most other fast food chains. To the back was the front counter, where people lined up to take orders. There were a series of tables and small booths. There were also stairs leading up to a mezzanaine area with additional seating and a nice view of the street outside. Visually, the restaurant seemed to have a fairly large number of customers eating inside, though it sounded very quiet.
At the front counter, two workers manned the registers. They seemed oddly intimidating, their expressions somewhere between tired and angry. There was a cacophony of sounds in the back kitchen, but whoever was back there wasn’t visible.
“Can we eat upstairs?” Minako asked. The other girls nodded and they found a small corner table upstairs, out of sight of the front counter. Ami slumped down onto a table, resting her head on folded arms. After the others put their things down, Makoto paused.
“Something doesn’t feel right here…” she whispered.
Rei and Minako looked around.
“It’s… it’s too quiet,” Rei said.
“Look!” Rei pointed to a couple who had passed out on top of their shared basket of fries.
Minako peeked down at the register. She saw one of the counter workers smile. His teeth looked like razor-sharp fangs.
“Okay, I think we have a problem.”
---
The windows were opened and outside was alive with the drone of cicadas as Ranma and Mousse sat on the tatmi floor, a go board and two bowls of white and black stones between them. Mousse took a sip from a small bottle of milk tea as he set down his fifteenth black tile.
“Ha. I have sente now, Ranma. Have fun with your gote.”
Ranma sighed. “Damn. My head ain’t in the game today I-“ Ranma paused and looked up, suddenly altered. "Somethin' don't feel right..."
"You okay, Saotome?" Mousse asked, looking around the small room.
Ranma grabbed her temples in pain. Echoing in her head was a raspy laughter and a feeling of coldness. She shook her head. "No... something's happening...." She stuck a hand out and moved it about until it pointed northeast. "That way! Come on, Mousse!"
"Me? But-"
Ranma looked up at him, her body already in a combat stance and her hands balled into fists. "No buts! I don't know what it is, but it's bad and you're the only other martial artist here. Come on!"
Ranma opened her window and jumped out of it. She landed on the roof of the adjacent building and running afterwards.
“Hurry up!” she yelled.
"Dammit, I need my robe!" Mousse said to himself as he ran to his room.
---
Mousse landed just behind Ranma, next to a new restaurant. “NOS Burger?” He thought to himself. Mousse was dressed in his Amazon combat robes, supplemented by a pair of silver sport goggles, which wrapped around his eyes tightly.
"Glad to see you finally made it," Ranma quipped.
"You asshole! I had to get my robe and take out my contacts because my eyes were starting to hurt." Mousse looked at the place in front of them, "Doesn't look like anything is-"
Suddenly the glass doors of the entrance blew off in a shower of shards. Two civilians ran out into the street, screaming in terror.
"Holy shit!" Mousse said.
"I knew somethin’ was going down. Come on, we gotta stop it!" Ranma yelled.
“We?"
"What?" Ranma smirked and she looked up at the Hidden Weapons Master. She began dancing on her toes. "You ain’t afraid of a little Nekohanten shuffle, are ya duck boy? It'll be like old times."
Mousse raised his hands in a defensive stance. "I’m a bit rusty, but let’s do this."
The two ran in to survey the mess. Chairs had been overturned and many customers had passed out on tables and in booths.
At the front register, clad in red shirts, black trousers and red visors, three youma were channeling energy from the unconscious customers
---
Upstairs, the four Senshi, still in their civilian identities had decided to act, even without Usagi present. Before they could transform, they saw a red-haired young woman run into the restaurant, trailed by a man in white robes and loose black hair.
“Hey, assholes!” Ranma screamed as she took a battle stance.
“What do you want, human?” The youma in the middle asked. They had that only read: Assistant Manager.
Ranma waved to the unconscious patrons. “These poor bastards were just tryin’ ta get a quick bite to eat! Sure they were prob’ly killin’ themselves with trans fats and refined sugars, but it filled a void in their empty, miserable lives. And you took that away from them. I can’t forgive anybody who fucks with people’s food!” As soon as Ranma finished the speech, she blinked.
“What the hell was that?” Mousse asked as an aside.
Ranma shook her head. “I dunno. It’s like my mouth got away from me. I never want to do that again.”
“Well, you got their attention at least,” Mousse said. The youma began to fire blasts of energy. When he ducked, he called out, “Congratulations, you pissed off three demons.”
“Still better for my health than a pissed off Akane,” Ranma retored as she backflipped high in the air, avoiding the attack. She turned in mid-air and threw her hands in front of her.
“Mouko Takabisha!” she cried out as a large ball of energy shot out of her hands.
---
Above the restaurant Minako whispered frantically to the others, “What the hell is she!”
Ami, pulled out the Mercury Computer and began typing frantically. “I’m getting… high amounts of energy of a type I’m not familiar with. I’ll keep monitoring it.”
Meanwhile Makoto was slackjawed as she saw the two people bob and weave the demons blasts of energy, while returning attacks of their own. The girl relied on bursts of a bluish-white energy, while the boy threw out hundreds of pounds of swords, knives, chains, maces, baseball bats, and, at one point, a white training potty.
“No way…” she whispered.
“What’s wrong Mako-chan?” Rei asked.
“Can you sense it?” Makoto asked. “That looks like ki, Rei.”
Rei blinked. She turned and looked at the girl closely, really looked. The redhead exclaimed “Kijin Raishuu Dan” and Rei could see a buildup of… something around her hands, leaving and space of emptiness that, like a blade, cut through the front counter.
“Oh gods.” Rei uttered in shock.
“Whatever it is, we’ve left them along too long. let’s get to it,” Minako said with a distinct finality as she pulled out her transformation wand.
“Venus Crystal Power, Make Up!”
The others followed suit.
“Mercury Crystal Power, Make Up!”
“Mars Crystal Power, Make Up!”
“Jupiter Crystal Power, Make Up!”
---
Ranma had been in fights that, in retrospect, were best classified as 'ridiculous wastes of time'. However, she was beginning to think her first major youma battle may set a new low. Granted fighting in a restaurant was hardly new. Still, she didn't suspect a pitched battle at MOS Burger would be so deadly. That the youma had been disguised as employees was one thing. It was another to dodge frozen beef patties and scalding hot French fries being hurled like shuriken.
"I'm gonna need to speak to your manager, ugly!"
“I am the manager,” the youma growled.
“Well I’m gonna hafta complain to the owner when I'm done with you.”
"Enough talk!" The monster gathered a mass of dark energy. "Order up! Bakudan Nuggets!"
A wave of formed, breaded, and fried chicken (made with all white meat) flew, bullet-like, from the kitchen and assaulted Ranma in the head, exploding with burning hot oil. The force of the blasts and the meaty shrapnel of said ordinance knocked her nearly senseless on the floor. She lifted her head up slowly, lolling from side to side.
"Can we get a salad next time, duck boy?"
Mousse brushed a stray piece of chicken from his robes. "I'll stay in next time. I'm wiped. Those damn things are draining my chi like crazy. Aren’t they doing the same to you?"
Ranma shook her head. "I’m feelin ‘it a little, but I think I'm okay."
"Well get up close. I’m going to need to keep my distance," Mousse implored.
“Order Up! Baconator Strike!!”
From a chain made of lettuce, A large, mace-like hamburger, spiked with rashers of spiky bacon, slammed into Mousse, hitting hit on his side. He slowly stood, feeling nauseous and enervated by the grease and liquid cheese.
“Dammit, I hate cheese,” he muttered before jumping back, avoiding a barrage of French fries that embedded themselves into the tile floor like shuriken.
“Do you want fries with that!” the monster hissed.
Mousse pulled out a set of knives. “I think I’m done with red meat for a while!” He threw them out at the youma. One knife caught its shirt sleeve, trapping him against the counter. Throwing out a large mace attached to a chain, he scored a direct hit against the monster's skull.
“Guess I’m not hungry after all,” he quipped.
Ranma meanwhile was dodging strikes from the second youma, who kept throwing razor sharp onion rings and even more exploding chicken nuggets at the red-haired martial artist.
"Set me up, duck boy!" Ranma cried out.
"Got it!" Mousse jumped high into the air of the restaurant, almost hitting his head on the high ceiling of the upper seating area.
"Michi Inchua Chuan! Hawk's Talon!" Mousse cried out before diving and a youma, sharp emerging front the front of his shoes.
The youma ducked down as Ranma yelled, "Shish-kebab Attack!" and threw a leg up into the monster's torso. Ranma was surprised as her foot went through the creature, it's body slowly forming into dust. Ranma jumped back and shook her leg.
"You okay, man?" Ranma asked.
The Hidden Weapons Master took a knee and shook his head. "No. They're crazy strong. I feel myself getting tired just being too close. How are you not affected?" He wondered aloud as he looked up.
Suddenly, the lead youma slowly began to come to. Ranma took up a defensive stance when Mousse pointed back towards the kitchen. "There's four more where that one came from."
"Damn, we can't do it alone. Ucchan and 'natsu are too far away and the rest of the old gang are gods' only know where..."
As they tried to figure out a plan, a chorus of voices echoed behind them from upstairs.
"In the name of the Inner Planets, we will stop you!" A chorus of voices shouted. The two comparatively mundane martial artists looked back to see four women, each in similar outfits in blue, green, red, and orange. They stood on the railing of the mezzanine dining level.
The one in orange took the lead. "Food is supposed to nourish people, not weaken them!"
"Well... I mean it is a fast-food place," the senshi in red said.
"It's not the healthiest thing to eat, if you think about it," the green-clad one added.
"To be fair, "The one in blue interjected, "it's as much about frequency as anything else. Fast food every now and again isn't bad for you. And there are the emotional and social benefits to consider..."
The one in orange turned back and hissed, "I know I’m not Sailor Moon and that girl down there already gave a speech, but could you not undercut your leader in public!" She turned to look at the assembled demons who were pouring out the back to replace the fallen cashiers.
"In the name of Venus, the planet of Love and Justice, Sailor Venus and the other Senshi will punish you!"
The youma looked at each other.
"Order Up! Combo Meal Deal!" the lead youma screamed. The combined demons began flinging exploding hamburgers and chi-enhanced fried foods once more. The four senshi began flailing about wildly, dodging the weaponized fried food with many a loud yelp.
Ranma blinked at the spectacle, "You gotta be kiddin' me."
"Wow..." was Mousse's only reply.
"I gotta do somethin'. I'm embarrassed for them." Ranma jumped into the fray.
"Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken Revised: Parlay du Foie Gras Strike!" She began to effortlessly pluck the thrown food from their intended targets and into the large nearby trash cans.
"Okay, if you girls got anythin' up your sleeves, now'd be a good time ta use it!" Ranma eked out, “trying not to lose her concentration.
Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Mars looked to each other and nodded.
“Jupiter Oak Evolution!”
“Burning Mandala!”
Ranma and Mousse were awed by the display of raw magic. That is, until their restaurant experience reminded them that fire and electricity were being hurled at a place with open burners and hot grease
"Oh shit!" they cried out far too late. The back of the restaurant exploded in flames, the backdraft flinging the swinging kitchen doors open.
Ranma yelled, "Put it out! Put it out! Get a Fire Extinguisher and-"
Mercury, addled by lack of sleep had an idea. "Mercury Aqua Rhapsody!"
"What!? No!" Ranma and Mousse screamed out, but it was too late.
The torrent of water and ice blew into the kitchen. It look liked the fire was nearly out when a large chunk of ice that had formed in the air fell into the large vat of hot frying oil.
Almost instantly, the kitchen and, now, the dining area in front exploded in flames.
"You idiots!" Ranma yelled "Get the civilians outta here!"
Ranma, Mousse, and the four senshi began hurriedly carrying the unconscious patrons out of the restaurant. Ranma herself struggled with a rather large gentleman.
"Dammit. This guy a ex-sumo wrestler or somethin'" she grunted as she carried him out.
Finally, after everyone human was accounted for. Ranma wiped the sweat from her brow only to be confronted by the four women.
"Okay. Who the hell are you?" The one in orange asked Ranma.
"Uh, I'm..." Ranma gulped. She was saved by the bell, or rather the siren, as the tell-tale wail of the Tokyo Police and Fire Departments became audible in the distance.
"Damn, the cops!" Ranma exclaimed. She turned back to Mousse, "Let's get out of here, duck boy!"
Mousse nodded. "Right." The two of them quickly turned away and jumped.
"Wait!" The senshi cried out, to no avail. They looked blankly at the redhead and the black haired boy who seemingly flew up towards the roof of a low building.
"Damn it!" Mars exclaimed. "Get back here!"
Venus shook her head. "No Good. We have to go."
As the senshi departed back towards safety, Jupiter whispered to herself.
"Muu-Muu?"
---
Ranma flopped down on the floor of her apartment, the action disrupting the stones of the forgotten game of Go. Mousse had left for the public bath to shower off the frying medium and wash the melted cheese from his hair. Looking up at the ceiling, she was processing the fight..
“Those were Sailor Senshi, huh? Looked like a bunch of highschoolers. Doubt any of ‘em could take me in a fight… not that I’d wanna fight ‘em," she muttered to herself. Ranma let out a groan. “Man, this sucks,” she concluded.
The phone rang. Ranma sat up and picked it up.
“’llo?” she asked.
"Ranma?"
“Akane?”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t in earlier. Finals, you know. How are you?”
"I dunno..." Ranma admitted, “Nabiki told ya I got locked, right?”
“Yeah, she did. How are you holding up? Ranma I, I know this is tough for you but I know you’ll get unlocked soon, okay?” Akane tried to sound enthusiastic.
“Yeah,” he said in a noncommittal fashion.
“How’s everything else?”
Ranma weighed the question. “I guess things are all right. Work’s okay… I-” She paused. “I got kicked off the Tae Kwon Do team. They only need me for the men’s team and seein’ that…” Ranma trailed off.
“I’m sorry Ranma. I really wish I could visit, but school and-“
"Can I tell ya somethin'?" Ranma asked.
“What is it?”
"I’m scared, tomboy." Ranma thought to herself. She tried to force those words out, but couldn’t She prided herself for not just breaking down on the phone. She didn’t want to worry her girlfriend any more than she already was.
“Nothin’. You’re right. Just another day in the life of ol’ Ranma Saotome, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll beat this, tomboy, just you watch me.”
“Ranma…” Akane said, unsure how to react.
"I need ta hit the hay. Long day tomorrow."
"As soon as I finish here, I want to see you," Akane said.
"Yeah, that'd be good." Ranma felt her chest tighten."I can't wait," Ranma felt an awkward pause. "Well... night, 'kane."
"Night Ranma," Akane replied before hanging up the phone.
Ranma stood and cleaned the apartment before rolling out her futon and falling asleep.
C&C is appreciated, as always.
～裏には裏がある
---
In the dead of night just a few hours after the eclipse, among the partially cloudy skies over Tokyo, a keen observer would have noted the black aircraft which lazily drifted over the horizon among the clouds. Though it flew in the air, its design was reminiscent of a Chinese Junk. Over what appeared to be a sail, emblazoned in bright gold:
宝
The Takarabune entered a cloudy patch of sky and disappeared.
Inside the ship, cloaked in a misty darkness, save for the banks of computers, their screens glowing with a sickly green light. Several alien beings are at work, the light placing them in silhouette. At the bow of the ship sat a figure, his face masked by his crimson and gold robe.
"Daikokuten... Yebisu..." the figured choked out in a deathly voice.
At once two figures appeared from the mist. They appeared to be middle-aged men, dressed in kimono They both wore red oni masks. The figure on the left had on a green cap and held a wooden mallet in his left hand. The one on the right carried what appeared to be a bamboo fishing pole in his right hand.
"Yes, my lord." The two figures kneeled, their heads bowed.
"It is time. You two have been chosen to begin our operations."
"Yes, my lord," the two figures said again, "The Number 6 and Number 7 Gods of Misfortune will not fail you!"
At the lord's nod, the two gods disappeared. The lord let out a slow, raspy laugh.
"Heh, heh, heh... You know not what awaits you, Serenity."
---
Pinch Hitter
Chapter 2: Contact
---
It was late at night when Akane Tendo let out a yawn as she closed her textbook. She had finished reviewing the three chapters for her course on Social Exclusion, Social Power and Deviance she needed to for the next day. Akane's room was mostly dark and her roommate at Tokyo Metropolitan University, Aki, was already asleep. Akane moved to turn off her desk lamp and go to bed herself when the phone rang. She picked it up.
"Hello?" she whispered.
"Akane!" Nabiki yelled.
"Sis? It's one in the morning!" She hissed. "Is everything okay?"
"Well... that depends on your definition of okay." she admitted.
Akane sighed. "What happened? Are Daddy and Uncle Saotome in jail again?"
"Not quite..." Nabiki hesitated as soft moaning could be heard in the background, "wait a sec, I think he's coming around... here ya go."
"Huh? Hello?" Akane asked.
"-kane?" Ranma said weakly.
Akane was only mildly surprised to hear Ranma's girl voice. "Ranma! Are you okay?" she asked.
"Dunno... I was standin' around, then the power went out and I felt so dizzy," she said dreamily. "I had the nicest dream. We were in a fancy hotel room and I ate a huuuge ice cream sundae and then I was touchin' your boobs. And then you touched mine. And then you poured your tea on me and touched my-"
"Put Nabiki on the phone."
"Uh, Akane?" Nabiki said.
"You called me in the middle of the night to tell me you got my boyfriend drunk," she stated flatly.
"No... It's not that. Not exactly. He needed the alcohol. Something happened to Ranma. He's not in a good way."
"Did he think he could down a fifth of whiskey again? Typical macho-"
"No! It's-" Nabiki tried to explain but she was interrupted by a loud wailing that Akane could hear over the phone line.
"Ahh! I miss my dick already..."
"Shit, he's trying to shower in his clothes again! I gotta go!" Nabiki said.
"Nabiki! Wait! What-" Akane pulled the phone away when she realized Nabiki had hung up.
"Something wrong, Akane?" Aki said, sleepily.
Akane shook her head. "No. My boyfriend, sh-he apparently, um, hit his head or something. My sister is watching him."
"Good to hear. Concussions aren't good for you," Aki said.
Akane shrunk at that remark. Since her anatomy course last semester, she regretted the number of blows to Ranma's head she had personally inflicted with fist, elbow, hammer, table, or otherwise convenient blunt object over the years.
"Yeah," Akane admitted.
"Night, Akane." Aki said before turning over in her bed.
"Night," Akane said. She turned off the desk lamp and got into bed, but she found it hard to get to sleep that night.
---
In a repeat of events a few hours before. Nabiki looked down at Ranma, who was splayed on the floor, groaning slightly. She gave the martial artist a kick. "Okay Saotome, snap out of it!"
Ranma turned her attention towards Nabiki."Why should I? I'm fuckin' locked!"
"I think this is more serious than just your curse."
"What's more serious than that?" she asked vehemently. "Do you know how disgusting the hallway toilet it in my place? Barely tolerable standing, but now I gotta-"
"I don't even believe- did you even look at yourself? You were glowing! This isn't just Chinese magic gone awry this time."
Ranma blinked and sat up. She began patting her hands all over her body. From the sleeve of her shirt, she pulled out the wand.
"It was this piece of junk!" Ranma declared.
"Well obviously. You did something when you started talking. What did you say again?
"Hell if I know," Ranma spat out. "I just said the first thing that came ta mind."
"I'd probably start thinking about what it was that came to mind... after you sober up."
Ranma stood up slowly, holding her head with one hand. "Hey 'Biki, can I just crash here tonight? I'm too drunk to drive home."
"I have lecture at eight," Nabiki warned.
Ranma nodded as she tied her hair into a loose ponytail and flopped onto the couch. "Works for me. I gotta get up at seven, anyway. I got my Kinesiology Seminar, then work, then Tae Kwon Do practice."
"Aren't we busy. What are you going to do about your little problem?"
Ranma grunted. "What about it? I ain't gonna solve it tonight. And 'sides, it ain't a secret or nothin'. Just a pain in my ass."
Nabiki looked at her sudden houseguest as she began snoring on her couch. After draping a blanket on Ranma, she went to bed.
---
It was early in the morning when Usagi woke up. She was disoriented, unsure where she was. As her eyes cleared she realized she was in her room. She found it somewhat funny that it had changed little since middle school, only the large numbers of photos of her friends, Mamoru, and Chibi-Usa really marking the passage of time. She saw a large photo of all of her friends, Naru and Umino included and smiled faintly.
She then recalled the events of the night before and began to frown. She stayed in bed, trying to suss out everything that had happened, but everything felt unreal, as though she was waking up from a nightmare.
"Usagi?" a voice softly cried out. "Are you awake?"
The blonde teenager rolled over on her side and looked at the floor. She saw one of her best friends and advisor licking her right paw.
"Yeah Luna. I feel like I've slept for ages," Usagi said.
"Do you remember what happened last night?" Luna asked. Usagi felt her stomach drop.
"Sort of." She sat up and summoned the Ginzuishou. In her hand, the crystal shone brilliantly and she could feel her will and her life force flow between herself and the crystal. However, she felt that there was something different, something that wasn't present, yet deeply painful. It reminded Usagi of a news report she saw about people with amputated limbs and phantom pains.
"We were fighting the youma. I tried to defeat them, but... when I was summoning my attack, I felt like there was a rubber band inside me that snapped."
"Have you tried becoming Sailor Moon since then?"
Usagi shook her head. "I'll try Luna."
She summoned the Holy Grail and held it in her hands as she closed her eyes. Usagi whispered:
"Silver Moon Crystal Power, Make Up."
Usagi wasn't surprised when nothing happened. She laid back down in her bed and began weeping quietly.
---
Ranma wasn't so much hung over from the alcohol as she was from the reality of what happened finally dawning on her. A third shower in the morning still hadn't reversed the condition and, as much as she racked her brain, she couldn't remember what she had said that caused the problem in the first place.
Either way, when she left Nabiki's apartment, she got on her motorcycle and, after a quick stop home to change clothes and pick up her school books and a few other documents, headed down to Setagaya Ward and the campus of her alma mater, Nippon Sports Science University.
NSSU wasn't a very large school in terms of its student population, but it was home to some of the finest athletes in the country. The campus was, counter to many Tokyo-area schools, wide and green with a large number of athletic fields, gymnasiums, and practice spaces for the various student-athletes the school admitted into their programs. Ranma herself entered on a Martial Arts scholarship which, along with the possibility of majoring in Health Science along with Martial Arts, meant she had focused on school in a way she never had in high school.
After a quick stop to grab tea and onigiri from the student center, she made it to her 9AM lecture right on time. She took copious notes and, aside from the occasional stares from her classmates, it felt like any other day.
However that illusion of normalcy ended when, five minutes before the end of class the professor looked at her. He was a short, thin man in the latter part of middle age. Bald, he wore a cheap suit and had a habit of wiping his forehead with a handkerchief during his lectures.
"Miss?" he asked pointedly.
It took Ranma scanning the room for other female students to realize it was her he was talking to. She looked at the middle-aged man. "Uh, yeah professor?"
"I've only seen you in lecture sporadically. Are you in the Women's College?"
"Damn it." Ranma thought, realizing of course, those days were one in which she got caught in the rain."Uh, no... Just a regular student, sir," she replied.
"Really?"
Ranma cursed inwardly, hoping he wouldn't ask her her name. That wish granted, the Professor instead decided to rant at her, "I may not take attendance here, but I seriously doubt you will pass the final exam at the end of the month with your record, Miss."
Ranma hung her head and nodded. "Yes, Professor."
Addressing the class as a whole once more, he said, "Well with that, good luck everyone."
Ranma sighed as she put her notebook away. "Damn it, gonna have to explain it to him. Thank god for Tofu" she thought as she patted her bakpack.
---
"This sucks," Makoto said, as she pulled out a tuft of grass by the tree she and Minako were sitting at during lunch period the next day. Neither of the two were particularly hungry.
Senior Year had proven to be quieter and more lonely than it had been in years before when six of the senshi attended the school. With Haruka and Michiru and, later, Ami, graduating to college, it had gotten a smaller and quieter. With the absence of young Hotaru and, more crucially, the cheery, over-energetic Usagi, it felt more like a wake than another day at school.
"Any word from Ami?" Minako asked.
Makoto shook her head. "No. She said she was going to start an analysis of the readings soon, but she has a term paper for her seminar on Naturalist Literature, and final exams in her classes in Neuroanatomy, Discrete Mathematics, and Organic Chemistry."
"Those are actual subjects?" Minako asked.
"...right." Makoto said, "Did Usagi talk to you."
Minako shook her head. "Luna called me. She's not feeling well. She isn't sick, just..." She frowned. "She's depressed."
"What do we do if Usagi can't... you know?" Makoto asked,
Minako replied bluntly, "We do what we've sworn to do. Protect the Queen at all costs."
"but those youma..." Makoto thought to herself as the bell for the next period rang.
---
A university library may, at first glance, appear to be a stifling work environment for someone as high energy as Ranma Saotome. Then again, this was the Nippon Sports Science University's Health Sciences library and, while most of the students were of human-proportioned strength and aggression, some rivaled the old Nerima gang in their strength speed and pig-headed stubbornness. During finals week, even that distinction was dropped as student would run around the building, using far more energy than was strictly necessary to chase down the correct textbook or journal article for a term paper.
This made the job a more like bouncing than filing, which Ranma appreciated. Further adding to the workplace chemistry was the fact that, for a library, the staff was surprisingly athletic and Ranma dug the combination of physically fit, active people who were also easy-going, laid back librarians.
Of course, today would test that easy-going attitude as Ranma made her way behind the checkout desk and punched into work. She then headed back towards a small booth near the entrance of the library. She broke out a textbook and began reading, glancing up whenever someone entered or exited the building.
About an hour into her shift, the head librarian entered the building. He was a tall, leanly muscled man who looked more like a welterweight boxer than an accomplished researcher and archivist.
"Who are you? Where's Saotome?" the librarian asked.
"Um, I am Saotome, Dr. Yamada," Ranma replied.
"What are you talking about? Where's Saotome!"
Ranma reached into her duffel bag and pulled out a manila folder. She handed it to him.
"Here Boss. I don't really like ta talk about it, but this is from my doctor back home. You can call him or Coach Abe in the Martial Arts department. They'll vet me."
Dr. Yamada looked opened the folder and looked at the contents.
"Sudden Onset Chromosomal Shifting Disorder?" he muttered as he quickly scanned the pages of the document.
Ranma nodded. "Yeah... Had it for a while now. Usually it's okay, but sometimes I get stuck in one form or the other," she said, trying to appear casual.
"I take it this is one of those times?" he said, taking a breath..
"Yep. Dunno when I'll be fixed, but I hope it'll be soon."
"Hmm..." Dr. Yamada sounded dubious. "What floor do we stack oversized books?"
Without missing a beat, Ranma replied, "Trick question. Oversized books go on a side shelf near the elevator of whatever floor they're supposed to be in."
Dr. Yamada nodded. "Okay then. I'll give ol' Abe a call then. I take it you'd like me not to tell anyone?"
Ranma shrugged. "All my friends back home know about it, so it ain't exactly a secret, but I'd appreciate it if ya didn't blab it to just anybody, boss."
Dr. Yamada blinked, as if her reaction were stronger evidence than a folder or knowledge of library policy. "That's fair, Saotome." He handed the folder back to Ranma. "One issue though... You don't exactly project the certain 'strong-arm' image we like to see in our security detail."
"Well I ain't as strong as a girl, but I can still bench 150 kilos." Ranma walked towards a book cart by the checkout desk. She bent down and, with a hand, easily lifted the book cart and balanced it on a finger.
Dr. Yamada nodded approvingly. "Okay, but how are you going to deal with-"
"Oh my god! It's Adenosine Triphosphate, Jun!" A young man yelled out suddenly from the study area. He was tall and rather thin
"No way, Shuu. It's Adenosine Di-Phosphate! The cell needs to spend the phosphate group to do work!" The other young man was somewhat short, but much broader in stature.
"You're full of shit. I wrote it down on my notes here.” Shuu said, pointed tapping on a notebook with his fingers. “ATP!"
"ADP!"
"I swear Jun, if you say 'ADP' one more time, I'm gonna wring your neck.”
"A....D-"
Ranma grabbed the collar of Jun's shirt and pulled him up from his seat to eye level.
"There a problem here, gentlemen?" she asked coldly.
The two of them looked askance at Ranma, "Who the hell are you?"
"Library Staff. I'm required to ask politely that you please refrain from making noise. There are other patrons who would like to study for their exams."
"And what are you gonna do about it?"
Ranma let a feral smile slip, her teeth showing through her smirk. She always liked it when people thought they were making her job harder. She struck out with her left hand towards the table. With two fingers, she touched the notebook in question and said, "Bakusai Tenketsu." With a small pop, reminiscent of a bottle rocket, the notebook exploded into confetti. The two men's expression turned to ones of horror.
"Now take it outside or I'll do the same to the both of ya," she warned.
After Ranma escorted the two men out, she looked at Dr. Yamada and asked, "Good enough?"
"Good enough," Dr. Yamada noted, nodding approvingly. "Get back to work."
"Got it, boss," she nodded as she returned to her post.
Dr. Yamada looked up questioningly at the heavens as he sauntered to his office. "Good kid, just a little..." he muttered.
Ranma settled back into her work, keeping an eye on the now whisper quiet library. That is, until a tall, muscular, black-haired young man walked up with a confident smile.
“’Sup?" He asked. "Doing anything after your shift? Wanna get some coffee, babe?”
Ranma fought the urge to kill him on the spot. She needed the paycheck, after all.
---
A few days later, Makoto and Minako were quiet as they waited for class to start. Five minutes before the morning bell, Usagi walked into the classroom. Immediately, they stood to greet their absent friend.
"How are you feeling Usagi? Are you okay?" Makoto asked.
Usagi nodded. She said, in an off voice. "What did I miss? Is Mrs. Kuroda tearing her hair out because I've missed so much school?"
Minako scrutinized Usagi's expression. It looked blank, robotic. Like... "She trying's to hard not to let what happened bother her," Minako thought.
“Well we’re here for you if you need it,” Makoto said, smiling reassuringly.
"I really am feeling better, you guys," Usagi repeated.
Minako began to say "We didn't a-"
The bell rang and class began. Minako, when she could, snuck glances behind her to look at Usagi. She seemed emotionless, almost hollow. Whereas before, when she had become serious about her studies, she quickly write in her notebook, frantically erasing mistakes, her tongue sticking out the whole time. Now, she wrote slowly and methodically. She said nothing and the passion she had gained for learning replaced with a more sterile quietude.
Minako sighed as she turned back to her notes. She tuned out the lesson and began writing down ways to cheer Usagi up. As soon as she had a few ideas, she’d call Ami and Rei to confirm.
---
It was the middle of the week when Ranma entered the gym, wearing a well-worn blue gi with ‘NSSU Tae Kwon Do’ embroidered on the back. She performed several leg and back stretches, since, not too dissimilar to Anything Goes, Tae Kwon Do utilized many kicks and some airborne maneuvers along with more traditional hand strikes, armlocks, and, rarely, weapon usage. She paid little mind to the other members of the team.
She was brought in as a ringer the year before and had given the team a shot in the arm, though she never developed the sort of rapport one gains by going through the same adversity together. Her coach and mentor, Coach Abe, said that if she tried, she could probably make one of the two slots for the Olympics this year in Sydney. Ranma shrugged, knowing that the extra work to do that would cut into her schoolwork, her jobs, and what little time she already had with Akane.
Ranma stopped her movement and bowed deeply when Coach Abe entered the room. He was a tall, almost as tall as Tatewaki was, and a very broad-shouldered man. His skinned was deeply tanned and his hair was cut military short, giving him a very imposing appearance enhanced by the clean, but long-used gi and black belt with five golden hash marks on one of the ends of it.
Upon seeing Ranma, he blinked and walked over. In a loud voice he said firmly, “What are you doing Saotome! It’s the Men’s team practice today”
Ranma bowed, “Forgive me, sensei.” She stood and looked up. “I got stuck like this yesterday.”
“Stuck?”
“Remember when I told ya about my… ‘problem’?” Ranma asked.
“Yes. All true martial artists’ lives are fraught with peril…” he said sagely.
“Yeah, well... sometimes, I get stuck. Usually it’s an enemy who wants to break my spirit or thinks I’m weaker as a woman, but this time, it just happened. I’m kinda at a loss at what to do for the moment.”
Coach Abe nodded. “I see. Perilous indeed. Hmm...” Coach Abe thought, bringing his hand to his chin. “We’re all squared for the women’s team. I’d feel bad bumping one of them for you. But if you can’t ‘man up’, I’m sorry, but we can’t use you, Saotome,” he said in a grave voice.
“But it don’t affect my fightin’,” she argued. “I’ll fight on the Men’s team like this. I can kick their asses from here ta Seoul and back, even as a girl!”
Coach Abe shook his head and gave a pitying look at the redhead. “Look, Saotome. I like you and I know you’ve dealt with a lot of hardship in your life. Frankly, I’d give my left nut for an entire team of men like you, even with your condition. But I can’t field you if you’re stuck as a woman. Other teams won’t take us seriously if it seems like we can’t field a Men’s team with…” he grimaced, “Actual men.”
Ranma, with all her strength, fought back the rage. Her mentor, the man she aspired to be, had shut her out of the competition and maybe something more important. She swallowed slowly and took a few calming breaths.
“I get it, coach. I’ll see if I can figure out how ta get back to the way I was, but until then, if it’s for the good of the school, I understand.”
The weathered man grunted in assent. “I’m sorry I have to bench you, Saotome. I’ll keep in touch. You’ve done me enough favors the past year and half with the Judo, Kendo, and Tae Kwon Do teams. If you somehow get unstuck in the next month, let me know and I’ll give the spot back to you immediately.”
Ranma nodded. “‘Preciate it, Coach." She bowed once again. "If you’ll excuse me.”
Ranma left the gym and found a payphone. Reaching into her pockets, she dug out a hundred yen coin. She dialed the phone. After three rings, someone picked up the phone.
“Hello?” the voice asked.
“Hey, uh. Is Akane there?”
“No, this is her roommate. Akane is in class I think. Who may I ask is calling?”
“It’s Ra-“ Ranma paused. She realized that one she never showed up in Hachioji as a girl and two, Aki was a new roommate and had never met Ranma at all. “I’ll just call back. Thanks.”
Ranma hung up the phone and slowly made her way back home.
---
It was early evening when Mousse finally came home. While it was the typical Tokyo summer, hot, humid, and murder to his hair, all in all it was a very good day for the martial artist turned average citizen. He had gotten a very good score on his practice exam in juku. Some Americans he delivered pizza to gave him a tip which, not being groomed in the Japanese tradition of service industry ethics, he pocketed for his own use. Most of all, he received a gift from his girlfriend. He smiled at the thought of her: her long brown hair, her cheerful, pretty face, and her strength of character.
They met at a local juku just a few months ago in March. She was still in high school and he was effectively a ronin, having passed the National Exam that granted him high school equivalency the previous autumn. They had taken things slow at first since they were quite busy studying for university exams and working part-time (she worked nights at a bakery, he worked in pizza delivery and as a clerk in a convenience store). She was afraid of moving too fast, her first relationship having been emotionally scarring. Unsurprisingly, he understood exactly what she meant and he agreed they needed to go slowly.
Still, they both found they had a lot in common. They both lived alone, so were independent and mature in a way many others of their age weren’t. They liked to cook, though Mousse didn’t have the space to do so regularly. They appreciated education, even if they were average students. They had similar tastes in movies: martial arts films and romances. They also had similar goals in life. She wanted to run a bakery and a florists' shop. Mousse wanted to start his own business using his knowledge of skills from working in the Nekohanten and Damino's. Most importantly they both enjoyed Martial Arts, though Mousse knew she only saw it as a hobby. He didn’t need to give his heart to someone who fought as a vocation. It hurt too much to know how much he lost himself chasing after Shampoo and her ‘beat things up ask questions later’ ethos.
Mousse stopped. He had a tendency to brood when the thought of Shampoo came up. Out of spite, it seemed, he had gotten a letter from Cologne via Kasumi. There wasn’t much written, but instead, there were photos of Tarou and Shampoo's wedding celebration as well as an obviously pregnant Shampoo leaning against the arrogant bastard. His only consolation was that Shampoo appeared dead on her feet and Tarou seemed like a beaten man, beyond the bruises to his face that is. He got a week’s worth of laughter out of that image.
Mousse shook away the thoughts of the past and focused on the present. Or, more literally, the present he got from his girlfriend. A dozen cookies wrapped in a pink furoshiki cloth. Oatmeal raisin, his favorite. “Saotome might want some too. Haven’t seen the bastard in a couple all week.” Mousse stepped out of his apartment and walked next door. He saw the apartment door was unlocked and open slightly.
He knocked slowly on the door. "Yo, Saotome, you home?" He called out as he opened the door all the way. "Mako gave me.some cookies and I thoug-oh jeez, what the fuck happened to you?"
Ranma was slumped on the floor, sitting on the floor, her head resting on her knees. An empty beer can lay next to her.
Ranma looked up. "Yo," she said in a weak voice. "Two things. One, I got locked again."
"Gods... I'm sorry, man."
"That ain't the worst part."
"What's worse than being locked?" Mousse shuddered at the memory of being locked himself on Mount Horai.
Suddenly, a tall, burly young man popped his head into the open door. He took a quick glance at Ranma, leering at her figure, before asking Mousse, "Hey Mousse. Who's the hot broad in Saotome's place?"
Mousse blinked and looked at Ranma. "That is," she said.
The guy spoke up. "She that Akane he's always talkin' about?" Ranma and Mousse blinked.
"Uh, not-" Mousse began.
"Ha!" The man let out an obnoxious laugh. "I knew Saotome was a player. How many women does he got wrapped around his finger? Three? Fo-" He was knocked to the ground by a punch, courtesy of an angry redhead.
"Shut it Tanaka before I shut it for ya!"
Tanaka slowly stood up and raised his fists, “Bitch, don’t mess with me!”
"I wouldn't if I were you," Mousse said in a light tone.
"Or what, Chinaman? You gonna make me stop?"
Mousse took a step back and smiled. "I don't have to do anything, do I Ranma?"
Tanaka blinked and looked at the short redheaded girl who began to project her aura visibly, surrounding herself in a strange reddish glow.
"Nah, Mousse. I got this. " She gave Tanaka an evil-seeming grin as she smacked a fist against her open palm.
"Oh, shit." Tanaka breathlessly said.
---
Rei, Makoto, and Minako stood outside the apartment with some amount of trepidation.
“Are you sure she’s not just sleeping? Usagi seems to only want to sleep these days.” Rei asked.
Makoto shook her head. “Rei! How can you say that about Usagi? She's... you haven't seen her the last few days. At least Luna and Artemis are watching over her. Ami though, she hasn’t replied to any of our messages and Mina tried calling her, but nothing.”
“Doesn’t matter. We need to have a meeting about what happened to Usagi and the youma that attacked us on Sunday. It can’t wait any longer. Not with Usagi like she is.” Minako said, which prompted Makoto to nod sadly.
Rei knocked on the door. There was silence for about 10 seconds before the door slowly opened.
Ami Mizuno had seen better days. In some ways, she looked worse than after a night of battling criminals and youma. Her hair was tousled, the lack of proper brushing making it frizzy in the humidity of summer. Her eyes were bloodshot. She was dressed in pajama pants and a t-shirt and she smelled like she hadn’t seen a shower in a while.
“Ami?” the three visitors asked.
Ami blinked and rubbed her red eyes. “Oh goodness, did I forget something? I’m sorry I’m having a rough week, Finals and all that…” she looked behind her.
“Um…” Minako began. “We’re sorry to bother you but…”
“We need to talk,” Rei said.
“About Usagi,” Makoto explained.
“And the youma that attacked us,” Minako finished.
Ami stood frozen for a second, nodding slightly, as though the words were coming to her with a satellite delay. Finally she blinked, “Oh! Of course. Come in guys… I’m sorry the apartment is like this. My mother is understanding of the mess, thankfully.“
Entering the apartment, they saw it was in something of a mess with textbooks and papers scattered on the carpet. It looked like everything was, at one point, neatly organized by subject and importance, but now it was a whirlwind of data. The kitchen seemed clean, though the trash was near overflowing with takeout boxes.
“I’ve been doing an analysis whenever I had a break from homework or exams. Unfortunately, that means it’s cut into the 168 hours I normally use for personal errands like sleep and grooming.“
“Tokyo University is a lot of work, huh?” Makoto asked.
Ami waved her hand. “It isn’t so bad usually… the end of the semester is rather more difficult than I expected. I’m taking a diverse course load, so it feels like I have to shift gears too much too quickly. Our new enemy is another stressor. I shudder to think how high my cortisol levels must be.” She picked up the Mercury Computer from a table in the living room. Moving a stack of scratch paper aside she set it down and opened it
"I’ve been letting the computer run a script I coded earlier this week." She began typing a sequence into the computer "I unfortunately didn’t record visual of what happened to Usagi, but I have ambient readings of energy." A visual graph the ebbed and flowed over time was displayed. "At some point, near eleven o'clock, there was a spike of Chaos energy, which somehow collided with Sailor Moon’s Lunar Magic.”
“You mean she was attacked?” Minako asked.
Ami shook her head, “No. At least not a direct one. It would have been obvious if it was a directed attack. It was more like Sailor Moon was engulfed by the energy spike and then both the Chaos and Lunar energy were gone.”
“So the Chaos energy stripped her of her power?”
“I believe so, but it’s only a hypothesis. I’d need more data to generate more sophisticated models in order to get a clearer picture.” Ami said. Suddenly, she felt faint and slumped down on a chair.
"Ami?” Makoto asked, “How long have you've been at this? All of …this?"
Ami lolled her head to the side to read a clock on the wall which indicated the late afternoon hour. "Um... What day is today?"
"Friday," Rei replied.
“Then 57 hours and 23 minutes, give or take."
The three other girls’ eyes widened. "Ami! That's enough.” Minako exclaimed. “You're no good to us half-dead. When did you last eat?”
“Well I had tea with honey a few hours ago.”
“When did you last eat for real?” Makoto asked.
“Thurs… day?” Ami said, somewhat bashfully.
“Okay, that settles it.” Rei said. “Let's get you something to eat, okay?"
"But, my work-"
"Can wait!” Minako exclaimed. “Hey, why don’t we try that burger place that just opened! Ami deserves some fries for all her trouble."
Makoto nodded. “Yeah.” The tall girl helped Ami to her feet and the four of them left in search of fast food.
---
Inside a fluorescent lit, cheaply carpeted room, the two Gods of Misfortune Daikokuten and Yebisu stood behind a desk . In front of them were six, humanoid youma. Their bodies misted over with dark energy, casting them in shadow save their blindingly white, sharp teeth. The largest of the six stood in the center.
"Do you understand the plan," Yebisu asked.
"Yesss, my Lord Yebisu," a high-pitched hiss emanated from the youma leader.
"We need to amass control of human will in order to bring the Serenity out of hiding. When she arrives, destroy her."
"Yesss, my Lord Daikokuten."
"Well then. We expect a lot of... 'sales'. Steal their life energy, bring us the Serenity!"
The six youma saluted before changing their appearance to more human-like guises.
"Let's go. Order Up!" The lead youma yelled.
Ranma took a bite of her second oatmeal raisin cookie. “Thanks, man. Your girlfriend made them?” she asked, her mouth half-full. “You’re a lucky dude.”
‘I thought Akane was getting better at cooking,” Mousse asked.
Ranma snorted in laughter. “Better than awful still don’t mean it’s any good. Her cookies are like chewing on charcoal that tastes like old coins. I think she’s finally decided sucking at cooking don’t make her a bad person or somethin’.” She shrugged. “Works for me. If I never get sick to my stomach again, I’ll live with it.”
Mousse chuckled to himself before becoming serious. “So you have any idea how you got locked again?” he asked.
Ranma shook her head. “Not a goddamn idea. This ain;t like the old ghoul or Herb. It ain’t like some asshole came by and deliberately attacked me.”
“So what happened.”
“I dunno. I was just helpin’ Nabiki out with that stupid photoshoot. I was stadin’ around feelin’ like a jackass in that Sailor Senja outfit. Then it all went kinda blurry. When I woke up, I tried takin’ a shower, but nothin’.”
Mousse nodded. “You don’t remember anything else.”
Ranma grimaced. “I… Man, I don’t wanna talk about this no more. Ya wanna play some Go?”
---
Minako and the others wandered to a shopping district just south of Azabu-Juuban. They stopped in front of a new restaurant, a blue banner announcing it’s Grand Opening with the Words:
NOS BURGER GRAND OPENING SALE: 50% OFF ALL MENU ITEMS
"NOS Burger..." Ami read aloud. “Interesting.”
“Well, it’s cheap anyway,” Rei added.
Inside, the restaurant seemed like most other fast food chains. To the back was the front counter, where people lined up to take orders. There were a series of tables and small booths. There were also stairs leading up to a mezzanaine area with additional seating and a nice view of the street outside. Visually, the restaurant seemed to have a fairly large number of customers eating inside, though it sounded very quiet.
At the front counter, two workers manned the registers. They seemed oddly intimidating, their expressions somewhere between tired and angry. There was a cacophony of sounds in the back kitchen, but whoever was back there wasn’t visible.
“Can we eat upstairs?” Minako asked. The other girls nodded and they found a small corner table upstairs, out of sight of the front counter. Ami slumped down onto a table, resting her head on folded arms. After the others put their things down, Makoto paused.
“Something doesn’t feel right here…” she whispered.
Rei and Minako looked around.
“It’s… it’s too quiet,” Rei said.
“Look!” Rei pointed to a couple who had passed out on top of their shared basket of fries.
Minako peeked down at the register. She saw one of the counter workers smile. His teeth looked like razor-sharp fangs.
“Okay, I think we have a problem.”
---
The windows were opened and outside was alive with the drone of cicadas as Ranma and Mousse sat on the tatmi floor, a go board and two bowls of white and black stones between them. Mousse took a sip from a small bottle of milk tea as he set down his fifteenth black tile.
“Ha. I have sente now, Ranma. Have fun with your gote.”
Ranma sighed. “Damn. My head ain’t in the game today I-“ Ranma paused and looked up, suddenly altered. "Somethin' don't feel right..."
"You okay, Saotome?" Mousse asked, looking around the small room.
Ranma grabbed her temples in pain. Echoing in her head was a raspy laughter and a feeling of coldness. She shook her head. "No... something's happening...." She stuck a hand out and moved it about until it pointed northeast. "That way! Come on, Mousse!"
"Me? But-"
Ranma looked up at him, her body already in a combat stance and her hands balled into fists. "No buts! I don't know what it is, but it's bad and you're the only other martial artist here. Come on!"
Ranma opened her window and jumped out of it. She landed on the roof of the adjacent building and running afterwards.
“Hurry up!” she yelled.
"Dammit, I need my robe!" Mousse said to himself as he ran to his room.
---
Mousse landed just behind Ranma, next to a new restaurant. “NOS Burger?” He thought to himself. Mousse was dressed in his Amazon combat robes, supplemented by a pair of silver sport goggles, which wrapped around his eyes tightly.
"Glad to see you finally made it," Ranma quipped.
"You asshole! I had to get my robe and take out my contacts because my eyes were starting to hurt." Mousse looked at the place in front of them, "Doesn't look like anything is-"
Suddenly the glass doors of the entrance blew off in a shower of shards. Two civilians ran out into the street, screaming in terror.
"Holy shit!" Mousse said.
"I knew somethin’ was going down. Come on, we gotta stop it!" Ranma yelled.
“We?"
"What?" Ranma smirked and she looked up at the Hidden Weapons Master. She began dancing on her toes. "You ain’t afraid of a little Nekohanten shuffle, are ya duck boy? It'll be like old times."
Mousse raised his hands in a defensive stance. "I’m a bit rusty, but let’s do this."
The two ran in to survey the mess. Chairs had been overturned and many customers had passed out on tables and in booths.
At the front register, clad in red shirts, black trousers and red visors, three youma were channeling energy from the unconscious customers
---
Upstairs, the four Senshi, still in their civilian identities had decided to act, even without Usagi present. Before they could transform, they saw a red-haired young woman run into the restaurant, trailed by a man in white robes and loose black hair.
“Hey, assholes!” Ranma screamed as she took a battle stance.
“What do you want, human?” The youma in the middle asked. They had that only read: Assistant Manager.
Ranma waved to the unconscious patrons. “These poor bastards were just tryin’ ta get a quick bite to eat! Sure they were prob’ly killin’ themselves with trans fats and refined sugars, but it filled a void in their empty, miserable lives. And you took that away from them. I can’t forgive anybody who fucks with people’s food!” As soon as Ranma finished the speech, she blinked.
“What the hell was that?” Mousse asked as an aside.
Ranma shook her head. “I dunno. It’s like my mouth got away from me. I never want to do that again.”
“Well, you got their attention at least,” Mousse said. The youma began to fire blasts of energy. When he ducked, he called out, “Congratulations, you pissed off three demons.”
“Still better for my health than a pissed off Akane,” Ranma retored as she backflipped high in the air, avoiding the attack. She turned in mid-air and threw her hands in front of her.
“Mouko Takabisha!” she cried out as a large ball of energy shot out of her hands.
---
Above the restaurant Minako whispered frantically to the others, “What the hell is she!”
Ami, pulled out the Mercury Computer and began typing frantically. “I’m getting… high amounts of energy of a type I’m not familiar with. I’ll keep monitoring it.”
Meanwhile Makoto was slackjawed as she saw the two people bob and weave the demons blasts of energy, while returning attacks of their own. The girl relied on bursts of a bluish-white energy, while the boy threw out hundreds of pounds of swords, knives, chains, maces, baseball bats, and, at one point, a white training potty.
“No way…” she whispered.
“What’s wrong Mako-chan?” Rei asked.
“Can you sense it?” Makoto asked. “That looks like ki, Rei.”
Rei blinked. She turned and looked at the girl closely, really looked. The redhead exclaimed “Kijin Raishuu Dan” and Rei could see a buildup of… something around her hands, leaving and space of emptiness that, like a blade, cut through the front counter.
“Oh gods.” Rei uttered in shock.
“Whatever it is, we’ve left them along too long. let’s get to it,” Minako said with a distinct finality as she pulled out her transformation wand.
“Venus Crystal Power, Make Up!”
The others followed suit.
“Mercury Crystal Power, Make Up!”
“Mars Crystal Power, Make Up!”
“Jupiter Crystal Power, Make Up!”
---
Ranma had been in fights that, in retrospect, were best classified as 'ridiculous wastes of time'. However, she was beginning to think her first major youma battle may set a new low. Granted fighting in a restaurant was hardly new. Still, she didn't suspect a pitched battle at MOS Burger would be so deadly. That the youma had been disguised as employees was one thing. It was another to dodge frozen beef patties and scalding hot French fries being hurled like shuriken.
"I'm gonna need to speak to your manager, ugly!"
“I am the manager,” the youma growled.
“Well I’m gonna hafta complain to the owner when I'm done with you.”
"Enough talk!" The monster gathered a mass of dark energy. "Order up! Bakudan Nuggets!"
A wave of formed, breaded, and fried chicken (made with all white meat) flew, bullet-like, from the kitchen and assaulted Ranma in the head, exploding with burning hot oil. The force of the blasts and the meaty shrapnel of said ordinance knocked her nearly senseless on the floor. She lifted her head up slowly, lolling from side to side.
"Can we get a salad next time, duck boy?"
Mousse brushed a stray piece of chicken from his robes. "I'll stay in next time. I'm wiped. Those damn things are draining my chi like crazy. Aren’t they doing the same to you?"
Ranma shook her head. "I’m feelin ‘it a little, but I think I'm okay."
"Well get up close. I’m going to need to keep my distance," Mousse implored.
“Order Up! Baconator Strike!!”
From a chain made of lettuce, A large, mace-like hamburger, spiked with rashers of spiky bacon, slammed into Mousse, hitting hit on his side. He slowly stood, feeling nauseous and enervated by the grease and liquid cheese.
“Dammit, I hate cheese,” he muttered before jumping back, avoiding a barrage of French fries that embedded themselves into the tile floor like shuriken.
“Do you want fries with that!” the monster hissed.
Mousse pulled out a set of knives. “I think I’m done with red meat for a while!” He threw them out at the youma. One knife caught its shirt sleeve, trapping him against the counter. Throwing out a large mace attached to a chain, he scored a direct hit against the monster's skull.
“Guess I’m not hungry after all,” he quipped.
Ranma meanwhile was dodging strikes from the second youma, who kept throwing razor sharp onion rings and even more exploding chicken nuggets at the red-haired martial artist.
"Set me up, duck boy!" Ranma cried out.
"Got it!" Mousse jumped high into the air of the restaurant, almost hitting his head on the high ceiling of the upper seating area.
"Michi Inchua Chuan! Hawk's Talon!" Mousse cried out before diving and a youma, sharp emerging front the front of his shoes.
The youma ducked down as Ranma yelled, "Shish-kebab Attack!" and threw a leg up into the monster's torso. Ranma was surprised as her foot went through the creature, it's body slowly forming into dust. Ranma jumped back and shook her leg.
"You okay, man?" Ranma asked.
The Hidden Weapons Master took a knee and shook his head. "No. They're crazy strong. I feel myself getting tired just being too close. How are you not affected?" He wondered aloud as he looked up.
Suddenly, the lead youma slowly began to come to. Ranma took up a defensive stance when Mousse pointed back towards the kitchen. "There's four more where that one came from."
"Damn, we can't do it alone. Ucchan and 'natsu are too far away and the rest of the old gang are gods' only know where..."
As they tried to figure out a plan, a chorus of voices echoed behind them from upstairs.
"In the name of the Inner Planets, we will stop you!" A chorus of voices shouted. The two comparatively mundane martial artists looked back to see four women, each in similar outfits in blue, green, red, and orange. They stood on the railing of the mezzanine dining level.
The one in orange took the lead. "Food is supposed to nourish people, not weaken them!"
"Well... I mean it is a fast-food place," the senshi in red said.
"It's not the healthiest thing to eat, if you think about it," the green-clad one added.
"To be fair, "The one in blue interjected, "it's as much about frequency as anything else. Fast food every now and again isn't bad for you. And there are the emotional and social benefits to consider..."
The one in orange turned back and hissed, "I know I’m not Sailor Moon and that girl down there already gave a speech, but could you not undercut your leader in public!" She turned to look at the assembled demons who were pouring out the back to replace the fallen cashiers.
"In the name of Venus, the planet of Love and Justice, Sailor Venus and the other Senshi will punish you!"
The youma looked at each other.
"Order Up! Combo Meal Deal!" the lead youma screamed. The combined demons began flinging exploding hamburgers and chi-enhanced fried foods once more. The four senshi began flailing about wildly, dodging the weaponized fried food with many a loud yelp.
Ranma blinked at the spectacle, "You gotta be kiddin' me."
"Wow..." was Mousse's only reply.
"I gotta do somethin'. I'm embarrassed for them." Ranma jumped into the fray.
"Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken Revised: Parlay du Foie Gras Strike!" She began to effortlessly pluck the thrown food from their intended targets and into the large nearby trash cans.
"Okay, if you girls got anythin' up your sleeves, now'd be a good time ta use it!" Ranma eked out, “trying not to lose her concentration.
Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Mars looked to each other and nodded.
“Jupiter Oak Evolution!”
“Burning Mandala!”
Ranma and Mousse were awed by the display of raw magic. That is, until their restaurant experience reminded them that fire and electricity were being hurled at a place with open burners and hot grease
"Oh shit!" they cried out far too late. The back of the restaurant exploded in flames, the backdraft flinging the swinging kitchen doors open.
Ranma yelled, "Put it out! Put it out! Get a Fire Extinguisher and-"
Mercury, addled by lack of sleep had an idea. "Mercury Aqua Rhapsody!"
"What!? No!" Ranma and Mousse screamed out, but it was too late.
The torrent of water and ice blew into the kitchen. It look liked the fire was nearly out when a large chunk of ice that had formed in the air fell into the large vat of hot frying oil.
Almost instantly, the kitchen and, now, the dining area in front exploded in flames.
"You idiots!" Ranma yelled "Get the civilians outta here!"
Ranma, Mousse, and the four senshi began hurriedly carrying the unconscious patrons out of the restaurant. Ranma herself struggled with a rather large gentleman.
"Dammit. This guy a ex-sumo wrestler or somethin'" she grunted as she carried him out.
Finally, after everyone human was accounted for. Ranma wiped the sweat from her brow only to be confronted by the four women.
"Okay. Who the hell are you?" The one in orange asked Ranma.
"Uh, I'm..." Ranma gulped. She was saved by the bell, or rather the siren, as the tell-tale wail of the Tokyo Police and Fire Departments became audible in the distance.
"Damn, the cops!" Ranma exclaimed. She turned back to Mousse, "Let's get out of here, duck boy!"
Mousse nodded. "Right." The two of them quickly turned away and jumped.
"Wait!" The senshi cried out, to no avail. They looked blankly at the redhead and the black haired boy who seemingly flew up towards the roof of a low building.
"Damn it!" Mars exclaimed. "Get back here!"
Venus shook her head. "No Good. We have to go."
As the senshi departed back towards safety, Jupiter whispered to herself.
"Muu-Muu?"
---
Ranma flopped down on the floor of her apartment, the action disrupting the stones of the forgotten game of Go. Mousse had left for the public bath to shower off the frying medium and wash the melted cheese from his hair. Looking up at the ceiling, she was processing the fight..
“Those were Sailor Senshi, huh? Looked like a bunch of highschoolers. Doubt any of ‘em could take me in a fight… not that I’d wanna fight ‘em," she muttered to herself. Ranma let out a groan. “Man, this sucks,” she concluded.
The phone rang. Ranma sat up and picked it up.
“’llo?” she asked.
"Ranma?"
“Akane?”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t in earlier. Finals, you know. How are you?”
"I dunno..." Ranma admitted, “Nabiki told ya I got locked, right?”
“Yeah, she did. How are you holding up? Ranma I, I know this is tough for you but I know you’ll get unlocked soon, okay?” Akane tried to sound enthusiastic.
“Yeah,” he said in a noncommittal fashion.
“How’s everything else?”
Ranma weighed the question. “I guess things are all right. Work’s okay… I-” She paused. “I got kicked off the Tae Kwon Do team. They only need me for the men’s team and seein’ that…” Ranma trailed off.
“I’m sorry Ranma. I really wish I could visit, but school and-“
"Can I tell ya somethin'?" Ranma asked.
“What is it?”
"I’m scared, tomboy." Ranma thought to herself. She tried to force those words out, but couldn’t She prided herself for not just breaking down on the phone. She didn’t want to worry her girlfriend any more than she already was.
“Nothin’. You’re right. Just another day in the life of ol’ Ranma Saotome, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll beat this, tomboy, just you watch me.”
“Ranma…” Akane said, unsure how to react.
"I need ta hit the hay. Long day tomorrow."
"As soon as I finish here, I want to see you," Akane said.
"Yeah, that'd be good." Ranma felt her chest tighten."I can't wait," Ranma felt an awkward pause. "Well... night, 'kane."
"Night Ranma," Akane replied before hanging up the phone.
Ranma stood and cleaned the apartment before rolling out her futon and falling asleep.
