Fake Uzu [Ranma/Naruto] Definate series SPOILER

[Vahn]

Finally got it right and working, for those interested the better version could be found here. Thanks for everyone help to help me refine this story into what it had become I would post all four chapters in this post but it might be redundant, what you guys think? Should I? ALl four chapters in the same post or each new topic a new post?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10492497/1/Fake-Uzu

[WG_Writer]

Grammar aside

The main problem I see is that too many people have already figured out that Ranma is an Uzu survivor (true or not). Konoha is obvious as they were first tipped off, the kidnappers/assassins are obviously going off of stolen intel. But for Tsunade to figure it out so quickly pushes this into a running a situation where Ranma may as well just start calling him/herself Uzumaki anyway as before the month is out 'Everyone' will 'Know'

Try to tone it down from knowedge to belief and it would be far more digestable.

[Vahn]

Well it seems to me that you feel that it is okay for Hiruzen and by extension the assassins to know but Tsunade figuring it out felt a bit too soon? Am I understanding that correctly?

So that being the case, from what I know of the Tsunade character she doesn't seem like the type to run off and save a little pig from a six year old girl unless there is something of interest there for her.She was also shown to be pretty cold war to Nartuo or indifferent initially when she first met Naruro.

So how would you suggest for me to get Tsunade to tag along without making her too ooc? Unless you think I should change the whole pig kidnapping angle and think of a new way. Which I would have to ask, what would be plausible to get Tsuande to keep Ranma around short of Ranma looking like her dead little brother.

[Dumbledork]

Well, maybe you could have Ranma try and steal Tsunade's purse.

[Vahn]

Well, maybe you could have Ranma try and steal Tsunade's purse.

That was my initial draft but when I wrote the scene I got stuck on finding a convincing in character way for Tsunade to keep a six year old around. It felt more in character for tsunade to drop Ranma at an orphanage instead which would feel more natural to lean to konoha and those rookie nine.

The Uzu family angle is the best I could come up with that make sense .

[WG_Writer]

I am not saying Tsunade would not make the connection but "Red hair, blue eyes = Uzumaki? Personally I think a bit more of a scuffle followed by Tsunade going too far would make her stick around long enough to ensure the kid's health. but if the assassins/kidnappers hit while she left Shinzune alone with the girl... She might be motivated to at least ensure the girl recovered. Maybe try sending her to Konoha (They could protect her) only to be foiled. A few pieces start falling into place. When she sees Ranma she is reminded of the other Uzumaki she had met.

A few other things start raising suspicions.

Tsunade is a Sannin, she will ensure that her facts are straight. The Hokage on the other hand has the option of being less careful in the option here. In his eyes his 'spies' gave him good intel, but if its wrong, another kid for the orphanage, possible for the academy. There is little to risk. So he can openly assume.

[Vahn]

Hmmm, it has aways been my understanding that almost all pure Uzu were red hair blue eyes, Kushina, Mito, Pein, Karin. Naruto being the outliner. Even minato commented on it during the flash back and little Tsunade as shown in the flash back of the first Hokage appearced to be very doted upon.

I'll see if I could work out something else, I am also thinking of doing one big prologue instead of chapters, and have decided to scrape the slice of life stucc to go with a tighter narrative.

Now I just found out Tonton a girl! Also can anyone tell me whats the correct way Shizune addressed Tsunade the first time around? Was it sensei? Hime or just plan ole Tsunade.

[Crescent Pulsar S]

I don't know how you intend to reveal the sealed "beast" inside of Ranma, so allow me to make a suggestion in ignorance. Rather than act based on an assumption, it would be more believable if Tsunade had something more to go on than mere looks; say, by seeing the seal on Ranma's stomach (which is where I'm assuming it is). People from Uzushiogakure are known for their fuinjutsu, so -- unless Tsunade is knowledgeable enough to know what kind of seal it is -- she would at least have something more concrete to investigate and confirm what she may or may not think about Ranma.

If I remember correctly, the seal isn't normally visible, though I think it appears when drawing the chakra (or whatever it's going to be called in this case) from whatever is being sealed away. I don't know if Ranma could unconsciously draw anything in such a way, but the opportunity would be good since she gets naked, and it might be possible if you play up her hunger and/or exhaustion and having to push her limits trying to get away from Tsunade.

[Vahn]

Ok per the suggestion mainly I reworked the scene over can you tell me if this feel more natural and more in character?


***** NEW REWORK *****

"Girl?" Shizune asked confused and looked at the boy. "Did you know her? What does she look like?"

The boy cupped his chin as if in deep thought. "She was dirty looking, might be homeless. But she had the reddest hair I've ever seen and nice blue eyes." He replied after giving it some serious thoughts.

"We'll could you point to us which way the girl went?" Tsunade asked the little boy who stared wide eye at her sizable bust and then frowned. "My eyes up here brat."

"Oh uh, in the forests," The boy said still unable to tear his eyes away from the big titted blond ..well tits!

"Let's go get your pig Shizune," Tsunade said as she cross her arms across her breast denying the little Jiraya his view.

"You're coming with me?" Shizune asked surprised. A small girl was something she could easily handled, there was no need for a Sanin.

"Might as well, Casino kicked me out, got nothing better to do," Tsunade said before marching off into the forest where the little boy had pointed.

+++++ In the forest ++++

Ranma had 'acquired' a pot that was sitting over some fire as a struggling tied up pink piglet was next to her. Ignoring the little critter plight Ranma chopped up some onions looking thing, potato looking things and other stuff into the pot she had heating over a stone fire she built.

"Alright buddy! Time for you to feed me!" Ranma said cheerfully as she grabbed the struggling piglet to toss him into the pot.

"Hey! What do you think you are doing to Tonton?!" An outrage voice demanded.

Ranma cursed her carelessness as she was so busy preparing food that two decently high level people was now on top of her. Turning around Ranma eyes had to bug out as the first sight she saw was the huge breasted pale blond in simple ancient style clothing.

There was big, and then there's BIG and now apparently there was another size. The person next to her looked about Kasumi age but livid as she glare at her just as she was about to put the pig inside the boiling pot.

'Shit, must be the pig owners, think quick!' Ranma mused to herself as the pale hair blonde appeared to be looking at her with surprised. "Uhh...here!" She said and toss the pig at the woman before running away.

Trying to focus, she tried to embraced the Umisenken but the hunger pain was distracting her too much. Thus Ranma could not maintain complete control over her emotions. Still what happened next surprised her as before she knew it she felt a powerful presence closed in on her and grabbed her by the scruff of her collar.

Reacting instinctively ,Ranma's fist punched at the pressure point spot on the offender wrist forcing them to release her. Rolling away immediately , Ranma dashed into the forest, zig zagging to try to make her attacker lose her trail but was surprise to find that she could sense a overpowering presence right behind her every step of the way.

"Are we really doing this brat?" A voice said casually.

Ranma turned to see the woman running behind her her hand outstretch imitating an airplane wingspan and easily matching her pace pretty easily. Needless to say Ranma was a bit surprise at how effortless the woman made it look.

"I can do this all day," Tsunade said causally as she matched pace with the girl . For some odd reason the little girl, her defiant attitude, her fiery mane reminded her of another redhead she once had the pleasure of knowing.

"Yeah well you'd probably look stupid all day doing it," Ranma retorted as she looked for a way to shake off of the woman. Seeing a dense foliage area with narrow tress, Ranma ran into the area confident it would stall the woman some only to be completely surprise when the area exploded a moment later as the pale blonde continued running after her as if it was nothing.

That was almost Ryoga-like Ranma instantly compared as the pale blonde just bulldozed the trees in her way her speed however was still the same.

"Well then I guess we'd end this little merry chase now," Tsunade said with a smirk before speeding up and plucking the red head by the scruff of her shirt only to be surprise when the girl slip out of it and continued to run stark naked. Well, one thing that the little girl did not have in common with Kushina was her lack of shame as the girl was darting into the forest buck naked. "Come back here and put this back on!" Honestly didn't the girl have any modesty?!

"Help! A pervert's trying to molest me!" Ranma shouted hoping for someone, anyone would head her cry and delay the big breasted bimbo.

"Shut up brat!" Tsunade growled as she speed up once more and grabbed the girl by her neck but was surprised when the little brat sense her attack and ducked under it. Then with agility that should not have been available at her age she ran up to a tree and jump onto it then expertly use it to spring board across the forest zig zagging trying to lose her.

"Nyah Nyah!" A naked Ranma test as she weave through the trees jumping back and forth ensuring to keep up same momentum. Still she was never one to leave insult without injurt so in one of her of her springing motion she slap her behind and pull down her eye lid at the big titted blond.

"Oh you little shit!" Tsunade growled as a tick mark formed on her forehead. That brat was DEAD the moment she get her hand on the girl. Still it was amazing how the brat was keeping up the pace. Regular six year old should not be able to do this at all...unless their name was Itachi that is, everyone know about THAT prodigy. But then Itachi had the ancient Uchiha bloodline to draw from what did this little brat have?

"Kiss my ass ya old HAG~~~~~" Ranma drew out until she springboard off her last tree and found herself clearing the forest and apparently over a very deep cliff. "Oh shit."

"Brat!" Tsunade said as she saw the tiny girl figure falling to what she assume was her death. "Damn it, You owe me brat!"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Ranma shouted as she started to fall and comically flap her arms as if it was wings but then after a moment remember, she's a Saotome, mid air is what they do! Still she had expended a lot of ki in trying to lose the big titted blond and wasn't sure if she had enough to cushion her fall which was why she was surprised when she felt someone embraced her in mid air.

"Don't wiggle around so much brat, I got you," Tsunade said as she flip at the last second to land gracefully onto the ground with the red hair brat tucked under her arm.

Blinking at the skilled landing , Ranma actually clapped in admiration before the woman let her go and grabbed her by her neck ."Gah!" She grunted as Ranma tried to pry the woman hand off her neck but it proved to be futile. "Let go of me ya old hag!" She shouted as she continued to try to struggle and wiggle out of the big breast bimbo grip.

Tsunade had a little tick developed as she heard the girl comment. "O-old hag?! What old hag do you know look like me?!" She said offended.

"Only old hags are this strong!" Ranma retorted as she still struggled to free herself. That was when she felt the woman sat down and before Ranma knew it she was across the woman looking at the ground. "Wha?"

SMACK!

"OW!" Ranma said as she couldn't believe the bimbo just smacked her ass!

SMACK!

"OW! HEY CUT IT OUT!" Ranma shouted angrily. Those hit were starting to sting her ass something fierce.

"You are a potty mouth little girl who need to learn her lesson," Tsunade said in a tone that broke no argument as she brought her hand down onto the girl bottom again.

SMACK!

"Ow! Hey ! Cut it out you crazy bi-"

SMACK!

"Arghhh! You Pedo-"

SMACK!

"AHHH! Stupid big breast BI-"

SMACK!

"Stup-"

SMACK!

"ARGH- You du-"

SMACK!

"YOW! Okay You cra-"

SMACK!

Now Ranma may not have been very socially up to par but she was smart enough to realize when she was beat. At least for now, simply put her body as it stand cannot stand up to this extremely powerful woman and the spanking that she's receiving were starting to sting like a bitch. So for now as per the Saotome tenant, it was time to pull a technique that would get her out of this.

"Ok! I'm sorry! Please forgive me!" Ranma pleaded as she executed the Crouch of the Wild Tiger to perfection. Why there were even watery tears in her eyes.

The legendary Sannin stop her disciplinary action when she heard the redhead sincere plead. "Good." She said satisfied. "So am I an old hag?"

"No ma'am." Ranma replied exhausted from her ordeal.

"Am I a stupid big breasted bimbo?"

"No ma'am." Ranma replied again swallowing her pride for now.

"Will you be running off your potty mouth to me again?"

"No Ma'am." Ranma said in defeat.

"Good," Tsunade said satisfied. Then stood up and place the girl on her feet. "You will be coming with me got it?" She asked.

"Yes Ma'am." Ranma said too tired to care. Already Ranma was plotting in her mind once she was strong enough to get payback somehow but for now best to just go along with everything.

"Now let's get you something to eat," Tsunade said kindly. Normally she wouldn't take in strays but this girl , that red hair, those bright eyes, so similar to Kushina in her attitude, ... judging the by the state she was in she probably had horrible things happened to her.

Ranma had to blinked at the pale blonde woman offer. "Really?" She asked in disbelief. She thought she was going to be torture or something not get fed. Well that changes everything.

"Fraid not little one," A familiar voice said that Ranma recognized.

"You!" Ranma said recognizing the man Zambini or something from the ambushed weeks ago.

Tsunade however narrowed her eyes, as she felt the various presence all around her. Instinctively she tucked the little girl closer to her.

"I have no quarrel with you, I just want the little girl," The scruffy hair man with the big sword said.

"And what could a powerful nin want with a little girl like this?" Tsunade asked darkly not intimidated the least by the man.

"What I do with the little Uzu princess is my business," Zabuza said as he signal the other merc-nin to get in position. It was a pity to kill such a nice looking big breast woman but money was money. "I am giving you this one last chance hand her over and you'll live."

Ranma saw the big titted blond look at her with an odd unreadable look before she turned back to the Zambini guy.

"Since you were so generous, I feel that I should give you fair warning," Tsunade said calmly. "Leave or face the wrath of one my wrath."

Scoffing at the woman bravado Zabuza unsheathed his famous blade, Kubikiribocho. "Do know know who I am, I am Zabuza of the mist," Zabuza proclaimed loudly. "And it is unfortunate that you did not take my offer when you had the chance."

At his announcement multiple merc-nin emerged from the shadow all radiating killing intent, some with lust leering obviously at the blond woman chest. To their surprise a moment later the woman laughed throatily.

"A, one of the 'famous' swordman of the mist," Tsunade said grinning. "Good, I wouldn't want this to be too easy, after all you will be facing Tsunade Senju."

Zabuza eyes widen as the other merc-nin froze in mid step their killing aura wavering. Everyone have heard of the legendary sage of Konoha. Taking a better look at the woman, he matched it with the known profile of the lengendary nin and cursed himself for his carelessness. Despite his ability he wasn't even sure if he could take on a sage even with all these merc-nins and judging from his nin for hire, they look uncertain also.

"Well," Tsunade said as she casually smashed a tree thick tree next to her effortlessly. "Which one of you do I have to pleasure of breaking apart first?"

"Forget it! I'm out of here!" A merc said as she turned tailed and ran. That was the cascading effect as the other merc-nin started to make a run for it leaving only the Swordman of the Mist and the Legendary Sage facing each other.

"Bah!" Zabuza said as re-sheathed his sword. "They didn't pay me enough to figth a sage, it was an honor." He said and to Tsunade surprise bowed respectfully before turning around and walking away.

Ranma however looked at the blond woman feeling a bit of trepidation, this woman made those guys back off and ran away. Gulping, she started to feel nervous as to what horrors now await with this woman.

++++ Later that Night ++++

Ranma laid awake as she listen to the two women snored next to either side of her. Technically now that she's was fed and no longer as hungry she could blend in with the Umisenken and escape yet...

These women they were wanderers, of that Ranma had no doubt. When Ranma saw the brown hair owner of the pig again, she thought she was going to get some beating at least .To Ranma's surprised, the girl had introduced herself as Shizune and ended up treating her very kindly.

Ranma thought for sure that Shizune was another Akane and that this was P-chan all over again. Yet since arriving back she had been faced with nothing but kindness similar to that of Sasuki-san.

"Mmmm, Don't even think of escaping brat.." Tsunade mumbled in her sleep as she rolled on her side making her back face Ranma.

That surprised the red head as she stared at the prone sleeping back of the big breasted woman. Whoever this woman was she was powerful, enough to get her hunters off her back.

However all it would take for Ranma to escaped was to use the Umisenken and she could gone before this woman could react,yet... Ranma was sick of being alone too and that woman, Tsunade, had proven to be very strong much stronger then the two masked people that escorted her.

Maybe she'll accompanied them for a bit longer.

Closing her eyes Ranma let herself fall into a slumber.

The moment Ranma fell asleep was the moment a slug blue and white stripe slug crawled on top of the Tsunade neck and whispered. "She's asleep Tsunade-hime."

Tsunade cracked an eye open and stared at the tiny red head and smiled. The girl was a stray in every sense of the word, but Tsunade could also see that there was a certain exuberant spirit about her much like Kushina. Had the girl ran Tsunade would have tied the girl up but she didn't which meant progress has been made no matter how miniscule.

She had debated maybe sending the redhead to Konoha, but then that mean she would have to go back to Konoha...and that was something Tsunade just was not ever going to do again.

Briefly she thought of Naruto who was under the care of the two perverts, she couldn't be in the village to watch over him but maybe out here she could take care of another Uzu survivor.

A light snore let Tsunade know the little redhead was now in deep slumber letting down her guard making the medical sage smile.

"Goodnight Uzu-hime," Tsunade whispered and then after a moment snuggled closer to red head.

[Vahn]

I don't know how you intend to reveal the sealed "beast" inside of Ranma, so allow me to make a suggestion in ignorance. Rather than act based on an assumption, it would be more believable if Tsunade had something more to go on than mere looks; say, by seeing the seal on Ranma's stomach (which is where I'm assuming it is). People from Uzushiogakure are known for their fuinjutsu, so -- unless Tsunade is knowledgeable enough to know what kind of seal it is -- she would at least have something more concrete to investigate and confirm what she may or may not think about Ranma.

If I remember correctly, the seal isn't normally visible, though I think it appears when drawing the chakra (or whatever it's going to be called in this case) from whatever is being sealed away. I don't know if Ranma could unconsciously draw anything in such a way, but the opportunity would be good since she gets naked, and it might be possible if you play up her hunger and/or exhaustion and having to push her limits trying to get away from Tsunade.

I'm probably going to post the second part here too after doing a quick rough edit. And you guys can tell me if I should sitch the two part together or keep them separate, it would also address the beast issue for now I think.

[Crescent Pulsar S]

Well, at least the problem with Tsunade's reasoning should be resolved, since she now has to assume that Ranma is from Uzushiogakure unless she learns anything that would contradict that.

[Vahn]

Sweet, so it is resolved nice and neat. Thanks for the suggestions!

[Vahn]

Should delete this post here since I pretty much alter this version heavily.

[Crescent Pulsar S]

I'm probably going to post the second part here too after doing a quick rough edit. And you guys can tell me if I should sitch the two part together or keep them separate, it would also address the beast issue for now I think.

Personally, I would keep the two parts separate. Aside from each one serving its own purpose, thus not requiring anything more to complete them, the general difference in tone and pace don't match well.

[Vahn]

So the two tone of each chapter conflict with one another making it not good for one big fat prologue but it is better to just have it separate and it'll work better that way correct? AS for information how Shizune and Tsunade act, any tying look out of place?