The Last Ringbearer is available in English

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The Last Ringbearer is available in English

Postby Cheb » Sun Dec 20, 2020 8:43 pm

The book I read in my youth, decades ago, and lamented many times that it had no English translation so that I could not share.
But... It is translated now. It just took me awhile to notice.

As it is technically a LOTR fanfic, the Tolkien Estate blocked commercial distribution so after a few clicks you come to a free download link.
OR search if it is commercially available in your country in your language.

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/ ... Ringbearer

P.S. And, most importantly, this:
The Last Ringbearer was written for a very specific audience, too – it’s just another “fairy tale for junior scientists” like myself. It is meant for skeptics and agnostics brought up on Hemingway and brothers Strugatzky, for whom Tolkien is only a charming, albeit slightly tedious, writer of children’s books. Those were the people who got the biggest kick out of the novel; theirs were the reviews that used the expression “sleepless night,” dear to any writer’s heart, most often.


The "War of the Ring from Mordor's point of view, based on the assumption that Tolkien's account was propaganda written by Gondor" doesn't even begin describing the brutal deconstructionness of this magnificently grimdark book.

due to the fact that she avoided people (as opposed to forest animals) so much that she was originally thought to be dumb. When someone would mention the royal forester’s strange choice, the local beauties snorted: “Whatever. Maybe they’ll make a good couple.”
It did look like they would have, but it was not to be. One day the girl ran into the young landlord, out with his merry company to hunt and ‘improve the serfs’ blood line a bit;’ those exploits of his had even caused some of his neighboring landlords to grumble: “Really, young sir, this penchant of yours to screw everything that moves ...” It was a routine matter, nothing to get excited about, really. Who’d’ve thought that the fool girl would drown herself, as if something precious had been taken away from her? No, guys, it really is true that all northerners are nuts.
Runcorn buried Lianica alone – the old woman could not bear the loss of her granddaughter and passed away two days later without regaining consciousness. The neighbors came to the cemetery mostly to check whether the forester would put a black-feathered arrow on the fresh grave, signifying an oath of vengeance. But no, he did not risk that. Nor was that a surprise; sure, he’s the King’s man, but the King is far, while the landlord’s bodyguard (eighteen thugs, gallows material all) is right here. Still, the guy turned out to be much weaker than we first thought ... So did those villagers who had foolishly bet on Runcorn’s declaration of vengeance (two- or even three-to-one) grouse in the Three Pint Tavern, sourly counting out the coins they have lost onto the sticky tables.
However, the young lord was of a different opinion – he was exceedingly prudent in all matters that did not involve his passion for ‘pink meat.’ The forester did not strike him as a man who would either let such a thing pass or go to court and write petitions (which amounted to the same thing). That sprightly peasant girl upon whom he bestowed his favor in the forest despite her objections (damn, the bitten finger still hurts) ... To be honest, had he known that a man such as Runcorn was courting her, he would’ve simply passed by, especially seeing as the girl turned out to be nothing much. But what’s done is done. Comparing his impressions with those of his chief bodyguard, the landlord became certain that the absence of a black arrow meant only that Runcorn was not one for theatrical gestures and cared little for the bystanders’ opinions. A serious man, to be dealt with seriously ... That same night the forester’s house was set on fire from all four sides. The arsonists propped the door shut with a large beam; when a man’s shadow appeared in the fire-lit attic window, arrows flew from the darkness below; after that, no one tried to escape the burning hut.
A King’s forester burned alive was no lousy serf that managed to get himself run over by a landlord’s horse; no cover-up was possible. Although ...
“Everybody here thinks it was the poachers, sir. The late forester, gods rest his soul, was real hard on them, so they struck back. A really sad story ... More wine?” The young landlord addressed those words to the court’s magister from Harlond, who had happened to stop at his hospitable manor.
“Yes, please! A wonderful claret, haven’t had its like for a while,” the magister, a dumpy sleepy old man with a nimbus of silver hair around a pink bald spot, nodded courtly. For a long time he admired the flames in the fireplace through the wine in a thin Umbarian glass, and then raised his faded blue eyes – piercing icicles, not sleepy at all – at his host.
“By the way, that drowned girl – one of your serfs?”
“What drowned girl?”
“Why, do they drown themselves every other day around here?”
“Oh, that one ... No, she was from the north somewhere. Is it important?”
“Maybe, maybe not.” The magister again raised the glass to eye level and said thoughtfully: “Your estate, young sir, is very well-kept – an exemplar for all landlords in this area. I figure at least two and a half hundred marks in annual rents, right?”
“A hundred fifty,” the landlord lied smoothly and caught his breath: praise Eru, the conversation was turning to real business. “But almost a half goes to taxes, and then there’re the mortgages ...”
Poachers, you say? All right, poachers it is. A suitable candidate was soon found; after enough time on a rack above a censer the guy made the appropriate confession and was duly impaled on a stake, as a lesson to the other serfs. The court magister departed to town, tenderly hugging to his side a money bag with a hundred eighty silver marks ... All set? You wish! ...
From the very beginning the landlord was troubled by the absence of any bones in the ruins of Runcorn’s house. The chief bodyguard, who had personally commanded that operation, tried to calm his boss down: the house was large, with a wooden rather than earthen floor, the fire had raged for more than an hour, so the corpse must have burned to cinders; this does happen often. However, the young lord, being (as already mentioned) prudent beyond his years in nearly all matters, ordered his men to examine the location once again. His worst suspicions came true. The forester, who had had his share of surprises, was prudent, too: a thirty-yard tunnel led from the basement outside. There were a few recent blood spots on the tunnel floor – one of the arrows had found its mark that night.
“Find him!” the young lord ordered – quietly, but in a tone of voice that made his hastily assembled henchmen break out in goose bumps. “It’s us or him, no going back. So far, Oromë be praised, he’s licking his wounds somewhere in the forest. If he escapes, I’m a dead man, but you will all die before me, I promise.”
The landlord took personal charge of the hunt, declaring that this time he would not rest until he saw Runcorn’s corpse with his own eyes. The fugitive’s tracks led inside the forest and were clearly readable throughout the day; the man had not bothered to conceal them, apparently assuming that he was believed dead. Closer to evening the chief bodyguard found a cocked arbalest hidden in the bushes by the trail; more precisely, the weapon was found later, after its bolt had already buried itself in his gut. While the bodyguards bickered around the wounded man, another arrow whistled in from somewhere, taking a man in the neck. Runcorn gave himself away thereby – his silhouette showed briefly between the trees some thirty yards away down the dale, and they all chased him down a narrow clearing between the bushes. That was the forester’s idea: to get them all to run without looking down. As a result, three men wound up in that pit, more than he expected. Eggy the Kestrel’s bandits had crafted it with skill and care: eight feet deep with sharp stakes at the bottom, smeared with rotten meat to guarantee a blood poisoning at the very least.
Twilight fell, and the gloom deepened rapidly. The landlord’s men were very cautious now, moving along in pairs; when they finally spotted Runcorn in the bushes, they showered him with arrows from twenty yards away rather than risk a close approach. Alas, when they did approach the supposed corpse (right in the path of a five-hundred-pound log that dropped from a nearby treetop), they found only a roll of bark dressed in some rags. Only then did the landlord realize that even simply getting away from Eggy’s forest stronghold where this damned wos had so expertly lured them would be very difficult: the night forest around them was chock-full of deadly traps, and their four wounded (not to mention two dead) have robbed their company of mobility. Another thing he understood now was that their overwhelming numerical superiority was of no consequence in this situation and the role of prey was theirs at least until dawn.
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Re: The Last Ringbearer is available in English

Postby Ellen Kuhfeld » Sun Dec 20, 2020 11:09 pm

I'm not into grimdark - I've never read Worm (which is), and never intend to. But fan-fiction tends to twist things around (as mentioned above) and it can be hilarious seeing grimdark subverted. There are a lot of Worm fanfics that do it. On FFnet, two authors to consider are ack1308 and mp3.1415player. There are lots of others, but those two are prolific and varied enough to fit any taste. Two good ones to try are It Gets Worse and Taylor Varga. The former story tries to get grimdark and keeps being frustrated. The latter starts with Taylor Hebert acquiring a tail, and things escalate from there. Kaiju abound. The Endbringers fear the Kaiju, with good reason.
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Re: The Last Ringbearer is available in English

Postby Spica75 » Mon Dec 21, 2020 11:15 am

I'm not into grimdark - I've never read Worm (which is), and never intend to.


Very much the same. If nothing else, when i read some of it, it was just mindnumbingly stupid.

The fanfiction for it is where it becomes readable and sometimes even great.

Two good ones to try are It Gets Worse and Taylor Varga.


Absolutely!

"THE TECHNO QUEEN!" is another good one. The hammiest "supervillain" that ever hammed.
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/ ... echnoQueen
She doesn't get "Queen administrator" providing her power, she gets "Drama Queen!". :mrgreen:

And literally everything by "mp3.1415player" is worth looking at to see if it's something you enjoy.

#####

The book I read in my youth, decades ago, and lamented many times that it had no English translation so that I could not share.
But... It is translated now. It just took me awhile to notice.


I might still take a look at this...
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Re: The Last Ringbearer is available in English

Postby Ellen Kuhfeld » Mon Dec 21, 2020 1:46 pm

Spica75 wrote:"THE TECHNO QUEEN!" is another good one. The hammiest "supervillain" that ever hammed.
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/ ... echnoQueen
She doesn't get "Queen administrator" providing her power, she gets "Drama Queen!"

Oh dear, oh dear! If you like "Drama Queen" you must read Lord Doom. I'll consider The Techno Queen, but I'm not sure how gracefully it will download. (I'm a devoted disciple of Fanfic Downloader.)
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Re: The Last Ringbearer is available in English

Postby Spica75 » Tue Dec 22, 2020 2:59 pm

Ellen Kuhfeld wrote:Oh dear, oh dear! If you like "Drama Queen" you must read Lord Doom. I'll consider The Techno Queen, but I'm not sure how gracefully it will download. (I'm a devoted disciple of Fanfic Downloader.)


Yeah, and i think it even takes up several threads, so probably difficult to download i expect. But it is FUNNY. Well worth the inconvenience of reading on the forum.

And Lord Doom looks like a definite read, thank you. :mrgreen:
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Re: The Last Ringbearer is available in English

Postby Spica75 » Tue Dec 22, 2020 4:10 pm

Ellen Kuhfeld wrote:Oh dear, oh dear! If you like "Drama Queen" you must read Lord Doom. I'll consider The Techno Queen, but I'm not sure how gracefully it will download. (I'm a devoted disciple of Fanfic Downloader.)


There's also DIRE worm if you want hammy villians.
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/DireWorm
A bit more serious, but still fun.
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Re: The Last Ringbearer is available in English

Postby Cheb » Tue Dec 29, 2020 8:05 pm

Spica75 wrote:The fanfiction for it is where it becomes readable and sometimes even great.

Totally agree.

A much better Worm AU is https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13756304/1/Taylor-Inverse
Lina reincarnates as Taylor... Grows up conflicted by this society's values... Decides screw it... The rest is very, very short. :twisted:
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Re: The Last Ringbearer is available in English

Postby Spica75 » Wed Dec 30, 2020 1:49 am

Cheb wrote:Totally agree.

A much better Worm AU is https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13756304/1/Taylor-Inverse
Lina reincarnates as Taylor... Grows up conflicted by this society's values... Decides screw it... The rest is very, very short. :twisted:


Ooohh, that was a GOOD ONE!!! :mrgreen:
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Re: The Last Ringbearer is available in English

Postby Ellen Kuhfeld » Wed Dec 30, 2020 11:11 am

If you'll accept a diversion from the topic, try It's Always The Quiet Ones. It's not Worm, but it has a substantial infusion of Lovecraft - that's close enough for government work. Oh, and Luna Lovegood.
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Re: The Last Ringbearer is available in English

Postby Spica75 » Fri Jan 01, 2021 1:09 am

Ellen Kuhfeld wrote:If you'll accept a diversion from the topic, try It's Always The Quiet Ones. It's not Worm, but it has a substantial infusion of Lovecraft - that's close enough for government work. Oh, and Luna Lovegood.


Oh yes, that's a pretty good one as well. Read it before, but well worth the time it took to read it again. :)
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Re: The Last Ringbearer is available in English

Postby Té Rowan » Fri Jan 01, 2021 10:37 am

It's in my lib. Have read it several times.
Wave Guides? That's girl scouts with ham licences, right?
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