There was this Potter-fandom craze a few years back called Marriage Law Rejection Letters. Here is one even more inane than the rest:
"Dear Ministry of Magic employee.
Much regret unable to follow you in this Marriage Law for the following reasons: 1. I am not a wizard. 2. I am not a witch. 3. I am not eligible. 4. I am not available. In fact, I am very busy.
A non-serious, lime-ish fic in which Lily Evans was an architect, Snape is a serial dick (and generally an utter dick), Hermione is adopted, and Harry gains a sibling or two. Oh, and Tonks vanquishes Voldemort.
“You can't jump a jet plane like you can a freight train.” — Gordon Lightfoot