Crystal Memories - Ch 1

[Konsaki]

I think this will only be funny if they also gain the characters' character. Catgirl Ranma is not really original. It would have been funnier if you had chosen really outrgeous customs. This is rather tame I think.

Worry not! There is a madness to my method! ... I think, maybe, perhaps... huh?

[Spica75]

I had a long post responding to multiple quotes... and then my computer decided to force restart, causing me to lose everything... so let's try this again.

A recurring problem? Things like that can usually be fixed...

It's not a farce, I just see no reason NOT to blend them together a little as it detracts nothing and only adds to the overall experience.

Your story and it´s looking decent enough so far. Agree totally with the "MST3K Mantra".

But I was still pleased by how nicely the words flowed.

+1 to that. I wasn´t about to read but suddenly, i was at the end of the text anyway... That´s very nice for any text.

If this does turn out to be "everybody turns into their costumes", it is a Xander trope -- one I've enjoyed a lot in some stories.

Yeah, even though there´s quite a lot of them, almost all still manage to bring up at least something new, and some are simply excellent. [recalls the one where Dawn becomes Kirika from Noir, NICE one]

[uragaaru]

Ah, understood. I'm sorry for assuming and yeah, MST3K Mantra is always a good one to keep in mind. I look forward to seeing more of your story ^^

[TerraEpon]

I wasn't bothered by it at all as I implied above. And I too am very much looking forward to more, even if there's not much yet. Certainly to me everyone was acting in character with no bashing or god giving going on.

[Konsaki]

As she skulked away from the main party area, Ranma let out a relieved sigh as she heard the escalating yelling match between three of her suitors thankfully fading into the background noise. As she turned a corner inside the large manor, though, she managed to find an unexpected sight. "What the hell…"

"That's what I said, too," Daisuke agreed, a wide shit-eating grin across his face, "Right, Lina-chan?"

"Bite me, Dai," was the terse and bitter reply as 'Lina' crossed her arms over her chest, before quickly dropping them to cross under. "I'm so going to pay Hotaru back for this… Just you wait…"

Blinking at the obvious male wearing the Lina Inverse outfit, Ranma hesitantly asked, "Hiro, that you? Why are you wearing that getup?"

Letting out a long-suffered sigh, 'Lina' nodded, "Yeah, it's me, Ranma." Scowling, Hiroshi dropped his arms from under his breasts to clench a gloved fist, "It's my damn little sister's fault that I'm wearing this thing!"

Ranma just glanced at Daisuke, who was wearing a rather generic cowboy outfit, attention drawn as the only 'male' between the three of them burst out with a laugh. Quirking an eyebrow at him, the black haired catgirl returned her gaze back to the Lina cosplayer. "So, how's this her fault?"

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Hiro let out another long breath, "A few months back, she got me to agree that if she made my costume for Halloween, I'd have to wear it. Even had a small contract for it and everything." Shooting a glare towards the still laughing cowboy, Hiroshi yelled at him, "She's freaking eleven! How was I supposed to know she'd actually go this far!?"

Actually taking moment to give a good long look at her cross-dressing friend, Ranma finally saw the level of effort Hiro's little sister put forth. The yellow shirt and the tight red pants were pretty easy to do, but the pauldrons and cape were rather intricate. The pauldrons looked to be made of stuffed cloth but had colored glass 'gems' attached across the outfit. There was even a sheathed toy sword peeking out from the voluminous cape.

Seeing Ranma examining Hiro's costume, Daisuke chimed in, "She even sweet talked their parents into getting the wig for 'Lina-chan'."

"I will hurt you, Dai," Hirosuke growled out, pointing with a gloved hand, even as he brushed a strand of the long coppery red hair out of his face with his other hand.

The cowboy just chuckled as he kept figuratively poking his friend, "Whoa, there! Getting into your character, huh?"

Ranma couldn’t help but crack a grin at the shenanigans occurring before her, but still gestured towards her own breasts, "What about these?"

Hiroshi grimaced once more, looking down towards the two noticeable bumps pushing out the yellow shirt, "Yeah… that was my mom…"

"Your mom," Ranma parroted incredulously, trying and failing to picture his own mother pushing a stuffed bra onto his male cross-dressed form. A part of her mind couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that Nodoka did push a bra shopping trip on Ranko in the past, though. The irony wasn’t lost on the Saotome heir.

"Yeah…," the Lina lookalike started with a wince, "she said it was punishment for trying to back out of the deal with my little sister." Seeing the 'true' female across from him start to giggle, Hiro whined indignantly, "Like I said, how was I supposed to know Hotaru was going to really go through with it and go this far?!"

Reaching over to pat her friend on the shoulder, Ranma tried to console him, "At least it wasn’t you backing out on a deal with Nabiki. She'd likely take pictures of the entire thing and then sell them."

Daisuke let out one loud chuckle at that statement. "Oh, he already told me his father did that, minus the selling them part."

"They're going into the family scrapbook…," Hiroshi added morosely before a small grin forced it's was onto his lips at the absurdity of the situation. "Enough about me, please," he begged a moment later, pointing towards Daisuke, "You have to check out the prop guns Dai's dad got him for his costume!"

Deciding to give her friend a break and being genuinely interested in the new topic, the martial artist looked towards Dai and his western costume. It started with a dark blue long sleeve shirt under a denim vest, like the one she was wearing only obviously made for a guy. He had a set of blue jeans where a belted pistol holster hung off his right hip and some brown work boots. Strapped across his back was an old looking rifle and a rawhide leather cowboy hat topped the costume.

Seeing Ranma looking towards him, Daisuke pulled out the six-shooter and twirled it… or tried to, barely catching it on the fumble. Baring a sheepish grin, he handed it over to the martial artist, saying, "It weighs more than you'd think." While Ranma started examining the pistol, Daisuke started pointing things out, "My dad said it's a functioning prop, which means it's designed to fire blanks on the set." Pointing to the hammer, he said, "That means you can pull that back and have the chamber cycle then pull the trigger and it'll work just like a real one."

"Damn, Dai," Ranma exclaimed as she worked the pistol, "how'd your dad get this?"

Puffing up in pride, the black haired youth replied, "My dad's a manager at NHK and was able to borrow these since they're barely used."

Handing the pistol back, Ranma's brow quirked. "The one on your back works too?"

Daisuke just grinned as he put the pistol back into its holster and reached over his shoulder to awkwardly pull the long-arm off his back. He didn't hand this one to Ranma; instead, he actioned the lever near the trigger which opened the chamber. "If it was real, it would load a bullet from a magazine, but this one's only a single-shot. You move this," he explained, pointing to the lever, "to open this where you put the blank in. Once you close it, you just pull the trigger."

The martial artists moved closer to inspect the rifle held by Daisuke. "Wow, I haven’t seen one up close like this." Moving her head to look down the barrel, Ranma commented, "I mean, I've seen a few in China, hanging on a wall in one of the backwater police stations, but they wouldn’t let me look at them."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Hiroshi agreed, as he also moved closer to look at the prop weapon. "My grandfather has one from the war, but we don’t dare touch it. I mean, he ripped into one of my cousins who started messing with it during a family get together." Hiroshi smirked as he moved back a bit, his cape rustling with the movement, "Man, I've never heard my grandfather swear that much; and it was right in front of everyone too!"

Seeing both his friends back off, he closed the lever and carefully put the rifle back on his back. "The one bad thing about having these is the fact I have to carry them the entire time and it gets to you after a while…"

"Quit your whining and man up, cowboy," Ranma said with a smirk.

"You won't be a man if I have anything to say about it," a voice rang out as something crashed to the floor with the sound of breaking glass. In the moment it took to realize what was happening, a purple cloud enveloped the three teens, causing them to cough and hack as they breathed in the noxious cloud.

Thinking quickly, Ranma grabbed Hiroshi and Daisuke as she ran out of the cloud, her insides beginning to feel like someone poured one of Akane's special meals down her throat. Exiting the purple haze, the martial artist tried to clear her lungs before taking a deep breath. Glaring at a flash of white turning the corner down the hall, she called out, "Damnit, Mousse! What the hell are you doing?!"

"Making sure you'll never be a man again! Shampoo will be mine, Saotome!" Ranma tried to catch up to the Chinese rival but all Ranma could hear was the echoing laughter as Mousse fled away from the scene as she turned the corner, finding an open door to the outside. Hearing her friends still hacking and coughing behind her, Ranma pulled them with her towards the backyard, hoping the clean air would help quell the fire still burning in her gut.

"I don’t feel so good," Hiroshi whined in complaint, clutching his free arm around his stomach; his face looking paler than normal. Glancing from him to Daisuke, Ranma saw the cowboy holding a hand to his head, a grimace on his face.

"I ain't feeling too hot myself," Ranma agreed as the trio finally made it outside into the cool October night.

"You're going to feel a lot worse once I'm done with you, whelp," an aged voice called out into the air.

The Saotome heir groaned out, even as her vision started to blur around the edges, "I really don’t need this…"

"What you need is to learn some respect," Happosai yelled into the air as he landed nearby. Almost immediately, he pulled out a scroll and unfurled it.

Scowling, Ranma struggled to keep her balance, as whatever Mousse did to her kept throwing it off. To make the situation worse, Ranma felt Hiroshi drop his weight onto her shoulder, leaning on the martial artist to keep from collapsing to the ground. She knew this was easily putting her at even more a disadvantage for whatever the shriveled panty raider had in store for her. Even with everything as it was, Ranma couldn’t help but call out, "I'd give you some respect if you were ever worth anything more than a zit on Cologne's butt!"

Holding the scroll before him, Happosai narrowed his gaze as he seethed in anger. "This will teach you respect or else… Either way, you won't get in my way again," the elderly martial artist declared before biting his thumb and running the bloody tip over the length of the parchment. It was a bare instant later that the scroll shot back up into itself, a wave of power blasting forth in a small dust wave as it glowed a pale green.

"Disrespect me no more," Happosai gravely intoned, his voice echoing through the night air as he tossed the glowing scroll at his student's child. Feeling Daisuke bump into her and still having Hiroshi on her shoulder, Ranma could only watch as the scroll flipped through the air to land at her feet. Letting out a sigh, she could only think, 'Not again…'

The chill October night washed out with light…

[Crescent Pulsar]

...Well, that was a disappointment. I was kind of hoping that the Halloween party wasn't a complete pretext for something else, much less to that choice of cliche. Oh, well. Opinions aside...

All cases of "leaver" should be "lever," if I'm not mistaken.

"You're mom" should be "your mom."

"Actually taking a long look at her, currently cross-dressing, friend" should be "actually taking a long look at her currently-crossdressing friend," or "actually taking a long look at her (currently crossdressing) friend," or something like that. Just abandon those commas.

"Suffered sigh" should be "long-suffering sigh," or at least "suffering sigh" (though I don't recall ever encountering it that way).

Those are the things I managed to recall without re-reading that part of the story. Woo...~

[Spica75]

And this one "whatever Mousse did to her kept is attack." means what?

[Konsaki]

*facepalm*
Sorry, to anyone who read the last section before now. I've proofread and re-posted it, making some grammatical fixes as well as adjusting the flow of some sections.
I really shouldn't post things when I'm tired and stressed, especially before proofreading my work the day after I write it.

...Well, that was a disappointment. I was kind of hoping that the Halloween party wasn't a complete pretext for something else, much less to that choice of cliche. Oh, well.

Tropes are Tools.
I know people were pretty much expecting something like this and that's fine. I'm thinking of this opening like starting a joke with 'Two guys walk into a bar'; you know how the start goes, but you don't know where the joke's going until it gets there.
Don't get me wrong, I'm one to listen to actual constructive criticism, such as your very valid complaint about my lack of proofreading; I just don't put much stock into "Oh, you're doing X? I am dissapoint."

[Spokavriel]

Where is this going what does any of it have to do with memories? How do you get from a Halloween party where MuTsu is tossing magic smoke for some reason thinking it will make Ranma no longer be male and whatever the hell Happosai is doing come to anything?

I'm not seeing how nor where there even is anything to follow here. It doesn't even seem to be a full set up yet. And if the whole grades were invited it would be the whole floors not just the few characters we have seen. Perhaps just the classes were invited. Nabiki/Tatewaki's and Akane/Ranma's

[Konsaki]

Where is this going what does any of it have to do with memories?

Into the second half of the first chapter and nothing, yet.

How do you get from a Halloween party where MuTsu is tossing magic smoke for some reason thinking it will make Ranma no longer be male and whatever the hell Happosai is doing come to anything?

First, I tried to foreshadow a Happosai encounter earlier, when Ranma was talking to Ukyo. This gave context as to why Happosai was mad, but I will admit that I needed him to attack when he did for 'reasons'.

SPOILER - Show Spoiler

Second, Mousse isn't an idiot but is shortsighted in more than just needing glasses. If he managed to find something which he 'thinks' might take Ranma out of the picture in reguards to Shampoo (without actually hurting Shampoo) he'll jump on it like Pocky at an anime convention. Mousse is also the kind of guy who doesn't give two shits about the fact that innocent bystanders are in line of fire, hence why he still attacks while Hiroshi and Daisuke are there.

Finally, I decided to write Mousse's attack to be that sudden to give the reader the sense of abruptness that Ranma and Co felt during the attack. It was literally a 'WTF' out of left field for everyone involved with no resolution. If you're wondering why Mousse isn't sticking around, why would he get caught in his own ambush if he can help it?
I've got a goal in mind and, after the better part of a year thinking about it, this is the 'best' way to get to it that I've thought of.

I'm not seeing how nor where there even is anything to follow here. It doesn't even seem to be a full set up yet.

This isn't the full setup, it's around the first half of a planned chapter designed to set up the situation and goal of the story.

And if the whole grades were invited it would be the whole floors not just the few characters we have seen. Perhaps just the classes were invited. Nabiki/Tatewaki's and Akane/Ranma's

I never actually stated how many people were invited/were there in the story and left it up to the reader's imagination; since it ultimately doesn't matter.

I am thankful that you care enough about the story so far to ask how any of this all makes sense. I'm hoping that some of this will be clear at the end of the chapter.

[Crescent Pulsar]

Tropes are Tools.
I know people were pretty much expecting something like this and that's fine. I'm thinking of this opening like starting a joke with 'Two guys walk into a bar'; you know how the start goes, but you don't know where the joke's going until it gets there.
Don't get me wrong, I'm one to listen to actual constructive criticism, such as your very valid complaint about my lack of proofreading; I just don't put much stock into "Oh, you're doing X? I am dissapoint."

Which is why I explicitly said "opinions aside." But I could still argue that even your choice in tropes and cliches could have been better for the story's sake. The Halloween party? I think that's fine. (It's not as popular as Christmas in Japan, but it's still plausible.) Using it as a pretext? I think that's fine, too. (At least some substance was bothered with, which is more than I can say for many.) Happosai getting his revenge on Ranma (what, again?) by using a scroll (wait, that too?) to change, impair, harass or otherwise send Ranma elsewhere? (Tic, tac, toe!?)

Okay, here's where the constructive criticism comes in. Tools are there to be used, yes. That doesn't necessarily mean that any particular tool needs to be used, especially when you have a choice. Using worn tools in the place of newer tools is fine if they're still in working order, but like any tool it can still have a negative impact on the quality of the work if not used properly. At the beginning of the story, where you want to hook your readers, is one of the last places for an author to tread over a well-trodden ground that is completely avoidable. Those three Happosai classics together is just about one of the stalest tools you could have used out of the plethora available.

I'm not representative of all who will read your story, and I can hardly begin to guess how many would be affected by it in the same way that I have, but that's no reason to not take readers like myself into account. In the end, I guess it depends on how seriously an author takes their own writing, because most readers will probably just see Happosai doing his usual fanon-cliche shtick, shrug their shoulders, and move on to the premise that they're probably waiting for. I suppose that means that my criticism is only good for aspiring authors who don't want to settle for the cheap and easy routes to where they wish to go. Not that that's a bad thing in and of itself, as the simple and tried-and-true methods are sometimes the best ways to go, but my main point is this: I've yet to ever hear of anyone complain about a story -- or even just a part of one -- for not being stale enough.

You don't have to be original, but if it at all matters to you as a writer, you should try to be as fresh as your abilities, desires, intentions and the resulting options of those things allow. Maybe what you have Happosai do works best for either yourself and/or what you have in mind for the story. If so, I can understand and accept that with no criticism, as I have my own limitations as a writer. If that's not the case, and you take your writing seriously, I highly suggest improving a plot device or two if at all possible. Even if it ultimately doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, readers like myself will appreciate the effort for such minor details, as good hors d'oeuvres can help make the main course be a more enjoyable and memorable experience.

Well, commenting on stories has never been my forte, so just ignore me if I've come off sounding like an imbecile. I'd rather have no effect than a negative one, or act as a hindrance. And all that long-winded rigmarole. Weeee...~

[Konsaki]

I'll be frank with you, Crescent Pulsar. Your post, when I first read it, pissed me off. Like, I couldn't go back to sleep because I was thinking about it. The fact that you were, IMO, calling me lazy was the biggest thing that was pissing me off. I actually laid in bed thinking of how many stories I could think of where the 'Tic/tac/toe', as you put it, of Happosai actually happened and could only think of two stories: No Need for Destiny and one where Happosai summoned a demon which resulted in Happosai's death.
Still, your comments, while frustrating, did get me thinking about if there was any other way I could complete the following things: Ranma, Hiroshi and Daisuke have to be together and in costume. They also have to be hit by two magical effects, each one affecting all three teens.

After 3 hours of thought and 6 hours of writing, I think I have something to show for it. The only downside is the loss of the world characterization I had already created. I might rework the second quarter of the chapter I posted to include this method of 'magic'-ing the trio, have to think about it. Anyways, I'm posting the un-proofread section in the spoiler for anyone who wants to read it and comment:

SPOILER - Show Spoiler

Three teens made their way down the dark streets of Nerima, passing through the sparse spaced lights. The chill October air blowing over them in a small breeze as the faint stars twinkled in the night sky. Each of the three walked along in a comfortable silence, each caught up in their own thoughts of the night.

The silence was broken as Daisuke broke out in a quick laugh once more, pulling the gaze of both his companions. Dropping down to a chuckle, he patted Ranma's shoulder in consolation. "Sorry, man. Can't help it! Every time I remember the look on your face…" His voice trailed off as he feigned the look of abject terror before bursting into laughter once more.

Hiroshi grinned widely before he held a hand to his mouth before joining in a falsetto, "Oh-hohoho! My darling Ranma-sama! Like the great Tira-sama, I shall tame my wild love!"

Ranma, for his part, just grimaced at the memory. "You guys suck, you know that," he stated towards his 'so called' friends.

Tipping his cowboy hat up, as it was slightly too big for his head, Daisuke just grinned like an idiot. "Like I said, man, I can't help but laugh at the look on your face!"

"Yeah, well you didn't have Kodachi lashing out with a freaking whip at you," Ranma retorted, squashing the hat down on Dai's head. The martial artist just ignored the squawk of indignation from the black haired teen.

"But did you look at her outfit and that body," Hiroshi asked out, feigning a wipe of drool from his mouth. "She was freaking hot in that leather corset thing."

"Don’t you know it," Dai readily agreed as he continued grinning at the memory.

"It's Kodachi," the Saotome teen responded dryly, as if that countered their statements. Quickly thinking of a way to change the topic, Ranma smirked while glancing towards Hiroshi, "Anyways, if we're talking about Kodachi, how can we forget Tatewaki's reaction to our fair 'Lina-chan' here?"

The tallest of the three burst out again as Hiroshi took his turn to scowl, crossing his arms across his breasts before quickly dropping them to just under. Ranma couldn’t help but get some more payback, "Aw, come on 'Lina-chan' don't look like that, you'll get wrinkles!"

"I'll hurt you," Hiroshi stated, as he poked the costumed martial artist with a gloved hand, "Don’t know how yet, but…"

Wiping at an eye while still chuckling, Daisuke just slapped his shorter companion on the back, "Come on, man, it's all in good fun! Besides, you're the one that wore the Lina Inverse cosplay!"

"I already told you, it's my little sister's fault I'm wearing this thing," Hiroshi cried out, obviously irritated with the old ground being tread, "and I'm still going to get her back for it… eventually."

"Like I said, it's all good fun," Dai repeated, placing a hand to the prop six-shooter hanging from his right hip, "besides, you heard what everyone said, 'You'd look just like a tall Lina if you were a girl!'" Ignoring the glare, he continued, "Face it, Hiro, your sis has some skills and she put some effort into it. Especially since she only, what, eleven?"

Hiroshi just let out a deep breath as he pushed some loose hair from the long coppery red wig behind an ear and out of his face. Though he wouldn’t say it, he was really surprised at his sister's work, to the point that he balked and tried to back out of their agreement of 'if she made the costume, he'd wear it'. His mother wouldn’t let him, though. Though it was a good lesson to think deals all the way through… plus the fact that Hotaru had talked her into buying the wig he was wearing.

The yellow shirt and tight red pants were pretty normal, but almost everything else took some time to make. His sister had made some stuffed cloth pauldrons and attached some colored glass gems, which he wore over a billowing cape. His sister even managed to find a toy sword and gloves which looked like ones Lina Inverse wore.

Letting out another breath, Hiro finally grinned as he shook his head, causing the long haired wig to sway. "Fine, yeah, you're right. The look on Kuno's face was… almost," he stressed, "worth it. Almost." He even held up a gloved hand with fingers barely spaced apart to add emphasis.

Ranma chuckled as he remembered the other 'Kuno Incident'. The three of them were getting food from the refreshment table when Kuno loudly proclaimed that the 'Vile Catboy Saotome' had captured another beautiful woman under his spell and how he wouldn't allow it. Hiroshi at the time just hid his face in embarrassment while Dai and Ranma burst out in laughter, confusing the Kuno heir. During the ensuing verbal confrontation, Ranma got tired of Tatewaki's outbursts of 'Vile Sorcery' and the like; finally grabbing Hiroshi's shoulders and turning him around so Kuno could see 'her' face.

The kicker, though, was when Daisuke jumped in and started fondling 'Lina's' padded breasts from behind, taunting the Kuno male who just, for once, stood there flabbergasted. It continued for a few seconds until Hiroshi finally reared up and punched Dai in the shoulder, yelling in an obviously male voice, "Quit manhandling my breasts, you jerk!" Hiroshi's atomic blushing facepalm, as he realized what he just loudly yelled, along with Tatewaki's looking like he was about to lose his dinner caused the entire room to burst into wild laughter. The laughter just continued as Tatewaki rushed from the room, hand cupping his mouth.

"I'm just happy that I'm not the girl of the group for once," the pigtailed teen commented, as he adjusted the denim vest, still unused to the feel.

"Oh, hey," Daisuke called out as he remembered something, "Was what Shampoo said true? You two plan that?"

Knowing what Daisuke was talking about, Shampoo declaring that she and Ranma coordinated to wear catgirl/boy costumes, Ranma shook his head. "Total bullshit. Think she was just yanking Akane's chain," he explained, frowning at the memory, "Don’t know why the tomboy got so bent out of shape… She knew that Kasumi put this thing together for me."

When Kasumi handed him the outfit he was currently wearing, she stated it was a personal challenge for her; make the outfit out of things she found from a second hand store for less than five thousand yen. It came down to a black backless top with a dark grey denim vest over it, which fit both his male and female forms. The long charcoal grey cargo-shorts and black combat boots finished the costume barring two small things…

Kasumi had found a pair of white furred cat ears and a black tail with a white tip, which she sewed into the back of the shorts. She even hit the stitched on tail with a flap of charcoal colored cloth, to make it look like the tail was sticking through a hole. With the proud look showing on Kasumi's face, Ranma just didn’t have the heart to deny the gifted costume… much to the jabs of his friends earlier in the night.

Daisuke just chuckled as he adjusted the prop rifle on his back, the constant weight through the night getting to him, "You've got so many good looking girls after you and you don’t even appreciate it."

"You'd change your tune if you were in my position," Ranma stated as he waved a hand dismissively. "I mean, yeah, it can be good at times but usually it's more trouble than it's worth." Frowning slightly, he grumbled, "Sometimes I wonder what exactly is going through my dad's brain."

Ranma's two compatriots just nodded silently, their own thoughts replaying the times they thought that about their own parents. They did silently admit, though, that Ranma had it much worse with his father.

After a minute of silent walking, Hiroshi grabbed attention by saying, "Hey, check it out! That's new!"

Looking to what he was indicating, they all saw a small store with its lights on. The store sign, along with the store itself, was old and worn; displaying the name 'Otherworldly Oddities'.

"I'm pretty sure that wasn't there this morning," Daisuke commented as they moved up to stand outside the small building. A small window gave a glimpse into the interior and the 'oddities' held within, a flickering light casting moving shadows inside. Looking over to Ranma, Dai asked, "Wasn't this an empty lot before?"

The martial artist just shrugged, still looking at the building. "Don’t know… just know this place makes my teeth tingle," he replied warily.

Reaching out to open the door, causing a small bell to chime, Hiroshi egged them forward, "Come on, let's check it out!"

Dai and Ranma just shared a glance and a shrug before following their coppery red wigged companion through the portal and into the building. The source of the flickering light inside became easily recognized as a fake flame bulb chandelier hung in the center of the ceiling. Directly ahead of the entryway, on the other side of the room, was a counter which half hid a curtained passage to a back room. The rest of the main store seemed crammed to the brim with a whole mishmash of items.

"Whoa," Dai called out in awe, "It's like a whole neighborhood of thrift stores dumped their 'weird' stuff in this one shop."

Looking around, not at the items but for the store owner or salesperson, Ranma noticed a sign on the counter. Reading it, he pointed it out to his friends, "The sign says 'Be back in 5 min'."

"That's cool," Hiroshi replied distractedly as he scanned a nearby shelf and examined the things on it. A small box caught his eye and he picked it up to get a closer look, "Check out all the crazy things this place has. I think this thing's from America or something." Ranma and Daisuke peeked over his shoulders as he slowly read the English on the box top, a cute young girl in a flowing pink dress and witch hat leaning into the words, "'Polly Morph™ Become the new you, instantly.' Huh…"

Wondering what was inside the small box, Hiroshi looked it over and found a latch on one side of the lid. The moment he popped the latch, the box exploded open, releasing a purple mist which filled the room almost instantly; reducing the three teens to coughing and hacking as it entered their lungs.

"Let's get out of here," Dai choked out, his eyes watering with the thick fog. Barely hearing the broken sounds of agreement from his friends, he worked his way through the smoke to the entrance, Hiro and Ranma following suit.

The three plowed through the door and clenched their eyes shut as their vision washed out in a blast of light…

[Spokavriel]

Happosai goes hand in hand with scrolls the way Cologne goes with passion spice. Mostly fannon but frequent. Put Happosai Scroll site:fanfiction.net/s/ into any search engine you want you will get many pages of results and the samples of where the text is found will be more than 1/3 instances where Happosai is either using the scroll on Ranma or using it to summon something to use against Ranma.

I'm going to read the spoiler more later. Its too close in tone to something I just read. But one thing I didn't get from a first glance over it. Why are they walking along a street? The Party just started why would any of them be leaving the Kuno estate this soon for any reason?

[Crescent Pulsar]

I'll be frank with you, Crescent Pulsar. Your post, when I first read it, pissed me off. Like, I couldn't go back to sleep because I was thinking about it. The fact that you were, IMO, calling me lazy was the biggest thing that was pissing me off. I actually laid in bed thinking of how many stories I could think of where the 'Tic/tac/toe', as you put it, of Happosai actually happened and could only think of two stories: No Need for Destiny and one where Happosai summoned a demon which resulted in Happosai's death.
Still, your comments, while frustrating, did get me thinking about if there was any other way I could complete the following things: Ranma, Hiroshi and Daisuke have to be together and in costume. They also have to be hit by two magical effects, each one affecting all three teens.

After 3 hours of thought and 6 hours of writing, I think I have something to show for it. The only downside is the loss of the world characterization I had already created. I might rework the second quarter of the chapter I posted to include this method of 'magic'-ing the trio, have to think about it. Anyways, I'm posting the un-proofread section in the spoiler for anyone who wants to read it and comment:

I was afraid that you may have taken it that way, and I apologize for that. I tried to express that it was ultimately circumstantial and depended on the author, and that if there wasn't anything stopping said author (which would include the possibility of laziness, among many other things in and out of one's control) from raising their own bar higher, that they should probably try and go for it, be it for their story, themselves, or both. Basically, from having read two of your stories, my words were inspired by the confidence I had in you being able to do better, because you have done better. (Well, that's really just my opinion, but still.)

Anyway, I'll check and see what you've done after I get some sleep. I stayed up an extra day so I wouldn't sleep through My Little Pony. ^^;

[Konsaki]

But one thing I didn't get from a first glance over it. Why are they walking along a street? The Party just started why would any of them be leaving the Kuno estate this soon for any reason?

The spoilered section is more of a 'fresh start' to the story as a concept to getting to my 'goal' without using Mousse or Happosai. Now that I've gone and written this section, I think I like the 'history' that the characters talk about more (if that makes any sense). I might scrap my first two sections I posted and rewrite the entire intro.

I was afraid that you may have taken it that way, and I apologize for that.

No hard feelings taken. As I said, initially, I was pissed off, but as I worked I got over it and used the frustration for productivity. All in all, I'm appreciative to your comment.