Anime, Scifi, Fantasy Fan and Original Fiction
by Materia-Blade » Thu Aug 24, 2006 9:42 pm
"You'll get used to it. Remember, Ranma--"
"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?" screamed a totally confused
Akane.
Ranma looked up, with an unusual expression. "Mom's helping me
to understand my femininity with masculine determination."
Akane facefaulted.
by Neko- » Fri Aug 25, 2006 2:32 am
"Mom's helping me to understand my femininity with masculine determination."
by antimatterenergy » Mon Aug 28, 2006 12:04 am
by MC80a Liberty » Mon Aug 28, 2006 5:52 pm
antimatterenergy wrote:-"And apparently this girl is going to come back to attack again! Can you believe this?" Akane shouted. Ranma frowned. Hadn't she stopped talking about that yet?
Ataru rolled his eyes. "Yes. What's the big deal?"
"What's the big deal?!" Akane shouted incredulously, "She broke into our house! She tried to kill someone!"
"So what?" Ataru muttered, "At least she was human."
"See?!" Ranma cut in, "That's what I said! But she just won't shut up about it!"
Akane seethed as Ataru nodded in understanding (of Ranma's apathy, not Akane's frustration),....
by PSJD » Mon Aug 28, 2006 9:32 pm
antimatterenergy wrote:"I saw something very... strange today. VERY strange."
"As you have taught me, Ukyo-sama, this IS Nerima."
"Strange for here."
antimatterenergy wrote:"Hello pig," Nabiki said quietly. Ryouga turned towards Nabiki and laughed nervously, trying to remind himself that it was just Nabiki and not some sort of vengeful spirit. Then his mind reminded him that a vengeful spirit of some sort would actually be preferable.
by Cyber_Skaarj » Tue Aug 29, 2006 1:08 am
PSJD wrote:thats from 'Genmas Journal' by Thrythlind (no link)
SOUN: And now, false intruders, prepare to face the awful wrath of --
GENMA: -- The combined schools of Anything-Goes Martial Arts!
KAJI: ... Help? ...
YOSHO: Ahem. Allow me.
[He steps forward, cracking his knuckles, and produces an energy sword
from somewhere or other.]
YOSHO: Permit me to respond with the millennia-old battle techniques
of the Royal House of Jurai.
SOUN [sweating]: Um --
GENMA [sweating]: Er --
BOTH [grovelling]: Crouch of the Wild Tiger!
by camk4evr » Thu Aug 31, 2006 2:39 am
"Now then, would someone like to tell me what I need to know, or shall I be forced to become...disagreeable?" Rei asked, a clear tone of menace in her voice.
Needless to say, Rei was quickly filled in on what she needed to know. Further, it was agreed that irritating the crimson-eyed girl when she had PMS was definitely in the 'for the love of God, please don't do' category.
by Atlan » Thu Aug 31, 2006 3:03 am
Of course, we traveled in style. Namely, her in my arms. It had taken
me a bit to convince Setsuna that this is the fastest way to travel, and
a bit more after that to convince her that its okay to wear pants (maybe
her parents were killed by pants when she was young, and now had an
unreasoning fear of them? Note to self: try not to be so stupid.).
And now, an important "Sailor Says,"
brought to you by DiC in order to fill the void in
your childrens' upbringing that you the parents
should be taking care of yourselves...
WHEEL OF MORALITY,
TURN TURN TURN...
TELL US THE LESSON
MOON SHOULD LEARN...
[SAILOR MOON appears, standing next to THE WHEEL OF MORALITY. With her is
a large HUSKY DOG, who sits patiently at her side.]
SAILOR MOON: It's important to know that while dogs make for wonderful pets,
dogs you don't know can be dangerous.
[The HUSKY DOG whines pathetically.]
SAILOR MOON: Sure, he looks harmless and friendly, but you never know when
that dog could turn into a murderous shape-shifting doppleganger bent on
world genocide.
[The HUSKY DOG suddenly turns into a murderous shape-shifting doppleganger
bent on world genocide.]
SAILOR MOON: [Sweatdrop] See what I mean?
[SAILOR MOON begins doing battle, albeit not very effectively, with THE THING.]
SAILOR MOON: Sailor Moon Says!!!
by lwf58 » Thu Aug 31, 2006 8:53 am
by Cyber_Skaarj » Thu Aug 31, 2006 11:38 am
"Kasumi-oneechan, I've fallen madly in love with Ukyo," Akane announced. "Will you please take care of Ranma? Make sure to mallet him at least once a day so he doesn't do anything perverted."
by stratagemini » Thu Sep 07, 2006 2:47 am
Carrot sneezed in his sleep and sniffled
before rolling over. He sneezed again suddenly and
woke up groggily. "Huh?" he muttered sleepily.
Spike was moving around a little, having a
dream of some kind. "Oaf, you woke me up,"
grumbled Carrot irritably as he rolled over to get
some more sleep.
"Oh Gia!" cried the man as he rolled over on
top of him and grabbed him in a hug. Carrot
screamed as the larger man nuzzled his neck
affectionately.
Gia woke up on the other side of the table and
sat up. "What the? Quiet down would..." She
trailed off and looked at the scene with a smile
forming on her face.
"Don't just sit there! Help me!" snapped
Carrot as he glared at her and tried to squirm out
of the man's arms.
"Kiss me dumplin!" said Spike in the throes of
his dream.
"Gah! Help! Help! Stop laughing and help me
damn it!" cried Carrot as he struggled even more.
Gia was almost rolling on the floor, and
stumbled over to a dresser.
"What the hell are you doing?" screamed
Carrot.
"Sorry, I can't pass this up!" said the woman
as she pointed an instant camera at him.
"No! I'll kill you!" screamed Carrot as he
tried desperately to escape the man's grip.
Gia took a few shots and chuckled to herself.
"Bitch! Die!" screamed Carrot loudly. "Let me
go Spike! Damn it! I'm not Gia!"
"Not Gia?" muttered the man sleepily.
"No! Lemme go!" cried Carrot as he continued
to fight with the larger man.
"Gia has a twin! They's is both here?" said
the man with an odd looking grin on his face. "I
done died and gone to heaven!"
Carrot screamed again, and Gia was laughing so
hard she couldn't breathe.
"Your face!"
"Huh?" said carrot as he turned to see a
girl about a year older than him looking at
him through a pair of thick glasses.
"It's ominous!" said the girl.
"What the hell?" he muttered as he stared
back at her for a moment.
She wasn't Japanese, it was fairly
obvious. She was wearing a Chinese style
dress and had her long dark green hair tied
into a bun on the top of her head. The dress
was form fitting, but full length. It
appeared to be quite ornate, with a golden
pattern of cranes and clouds on top of a
rather expensive looking red silk cloth. She
adjusted her glasses to stare at him and
frowned. "You have a dark cloud hanging over
your head!"
So, tell me something I don't know,"
snorted Carrot irritably. The girl's grasp of
the language was excellent, but her accent
gave away her Chinese heritage.
"I am Me-lin," said the girl as she bowed
to him.
"So? Did you want something?" he replied
irritably.
"I will help you," said the girl as she
peered at his face a little too closely for
his comfort.
"Help me with what?" he grumbled as he
frowned at her.
"You are cursed, and I shall remove it
from your soul!" said the girl firmly. She
gripped his shoulders and shook him lightly.
"Don't touch me, you loon!" he grumbled
as he pushed her hands away. "Get lost."
"Not until your curse is lifted!" said
the girl firmly. She shook her head from side
to side slowly.
Carrot growled and started walking again.
"Fine. I'll leave then."
This caught the girl by surprise. "Wait!
We haven't set up a payment plan yet!"
"I'm not paying you, go away," he said as
he turned his head to frown at her as he
walked.
"It is a small price to pay for peace of
mind!" cried the girl as she continued to
move after him.
Carrot felt the hairs on the back of his
neck rise slightly. Everyone was staring at
him and the girl now. She was obnoxiously
loud, and it was starting to get to him. He
slowly turned around and glared at her again.
"You're getting on my nerves, go away."
"I cannot leave you! It is my duty to
help those in need. Even though you are a
cheap bastard who will not pay me!"
"Cheap bastard?" grumbled the boy as his
frown deepened. "I'm not going to pay you for
irritating me, now go away!"
"To think! A young boy would refuse the
charity of such a beautiful maiden from the
East!" lamented the girl. "A shame to my
family, my honor, and my name! Oh! The shame
of it all!"
"You're damn right I...what?" the boy
blinked as he stared at her again.
"Oh! Perhaps I worded that wrong..." said
the girl as she blushed and realized that
most of the boys in the immediate area were
now staring at her exclusively.
"Look lady, I don't want help, and I
don't need it," grumbled Carrot as he turned
away.
"I sense something terrible is about to
happen to you! Please! You must accept my
help!" exclaimed the girl.
Carrot was growing extremely irritated by
this strange girl. He turned and pointed at
a nearby boy and snorted. "What about him?
He doesn't look ominous enough for you?"
"Yes. His face is ominous as well, but
not nearly as much as yours," replied the
girl calmly. "Plus, he does not have a cute
butt."
"Carrot paused again and stared at her.
"Huh?"
"I would not be so charitable with you if
you did not," she replied as she nodded to
herself.
Carrot just stood there looking at her
for a moment.
"Shall you allow me to help you?" she
said with a satisfied looking grin forming on
her face. In her mind, she had him now.
"No," he responded as he turned away and
started walking calmly.
"I take it back, you do not have a cute
butt!" she said angrily as she continued to
follow him.
Carrot was now sitting at a table,
reading a menu calmly. "It appears some of
the citizens are already jaded by such a
mystical evil! So I shall fulfill my
destiny!" said the girl to herself as she
steeled her mind for the coming battle.
The boy paused as a soft glow started to
form around Mei-lin's body. "Neat."
The waiter had come out, and was looking
at the scene with his jaw open.
"Hey! I'm hungry damn it!" snapped Carrot
as he kicked the man in his shins to get his
attention.
"Are you nuts? I'm getting the hell out
of here!" cried the man. A long thin metal
wire that now protruded from the boy's sleeve
blocked his escape path. "Not till I've had a
sandwich."
"Are you crazy?" exclaimed the man in
horror.
"Maybe I am, but I'm also hungry. You're
not leaving until you've taken care of that,"
said Carrot as he narrowed his eyes at the
man. "Don't worry, that chick looks like some
sort of demon hunter. We should be fine." The
boy turned to glance at the girl as she stood
off against the thing.
The waiter looked at the boy fearfully.
"Devil Hunter?"
"What the hell else could that thing be?"
asked Carrot. "Hurry it up will ya?" The
smell is starting to get to me."
The shit monster noticed that they had
returned and slowly lumbered towards them.
"We should probably run now," said Carrot
as he managed to straighten himself out a
bit.
"We can't just leave that thing here!" cried
Mei-lin irritably as she growled at it.
"Why the hell not? I haven't got anything
that will kill it, and that little trick of
yours won't do any good!"
"That isn't a trick! It's the invincible
power of my soul!" screamed the girl angrily.
"Yeah, well it's no match for he
invincible power of a pile of shit," he
snapped back at her.
Carrot came home and stared down at Mei Lin. The girl was sitting
over Gia with a cold cloth in her hand.
"What's with her?" muttered the boy as he stared at the woman.
"Um. You didn't tell me Luna could talk," said the girl as she
glanced at the animal.
The cat was sitting nearby, her fur was standing on end and she
looked somewhat upset. Her tail was swishing back and fourth
violently.
"You didn't ask," replied the boy with a small shrug.
Luna looked up at him. "You knew?" Her eyes were wide and her jaw
was hanging down dumbly.
"Course I knew. Why do ya think I kept teasing you? I was hoping
you'd get mad and yell at me or somethin."
The cat simply stared at him for a moment and then looked at the
floor.
"How much do you remember anyway?" said the boy hopefully.
"I can talk!" cried the cat as she stared at him again.
"Yeah. Great. How much," said Carrot.
"But...I can talk!" cried Luna again.
Carrot sighed. "In a day or two, I'll wish you hadn't. Come on, I
need to know how much you remember. It's important."
"Remember? Remember what? I can talk damn it!" cried the cat.
"Well, this isn't going to do me much good," muttered the boy with
a heavy sigh.
"What happened to you?" said Mei Lin as she noticed a few cuts in
the boy's clothes.
"Ah, it was a slow night," replied Carrot as he tugged at it.
"I can see that," noted Mei Lin. "You don't even need stitches
this time."
"Yeah, one of those crazy ninjas learned to fly or something. I
can tell that's gonna be a pain in the ass," he commented as he stood
up and left Luna to her thoughts.
"I...can talk?" muttered the cat to itself in a sort of awe.
Carrot came out of the bathroom with a towel over his shoulder and
a toothbrush in his mouth. "Big deal, so can I," he replied before
going back about his business.
by stratagemini » Thu Sep 07, 2006 7:06 pm
Carrot was miserable. His head hurt, his joints ached, and two
loudly snoring roommates had kept him up most of the night. His eyes
were bleary and distant as he glared hatefully at the sunbeam that
roused him from his slumber. Life sucked.
Gia smiled at him, she was dressed in a button up shirt and a pair
of panties. The shirt was long enough to cover her completely, but it
was still quite a sight to behold for someone as young as Carrot. He
paused and stared at her for a moment.
"What?" she said as she blinked at him and sipped at the mug of
coffee in her grip calmly.
"Is that Spike's shirt?"
"Yeah?"
"I thought I recognized that blood stain," said Carrot as he
pointed to the collar. "This is the one he was wearing that day we
went out and the guy had a baseball bat on him."
"God you're hopeless," grumbled Gia as she frowned at him for a
moment. She had almost been hoping that he'd noticed her for a moment
there.
"Eh?" muttered the boy in confusion. He quickly dismissed it and
turned towards the kitchen. With a shuffling walk he staggered into
the room to grab a cup of coffee for himself.
Carrot walked down the sidewalk again with his hands in his
pockets. He knew he'd have to lay low for a little while again. The
senshi's first reaction would probably be to hunt him down and kill
him again. After they managed to cool down some they might see reason
and leave him alone. He doubted it though, especially with as much as
he knew. Still, there was some comfort in being able to hold it over
their heads. He knew his problems were far from over anyway, that
little stint of evil did a world of good for his mood though.
A wry grin cracked on his features and he paused in front of an
electronics store. He blinked and looked at the image on the screen.
"Some sort of sentai thing?" It was a monster attacking some sort of.
He blinked as he realized he recognized that thing. "Green Goblin?
What the?"
That was when he noticed the caption on the bottom of the screen.
"Breaking News! Channel 5 Live!"
The image shrank and an anchor appeared on the screen. It was an
anchor he'd seen before, reporting the news. He put his hands on the
glass to steady himself. Most of the senshi were grounded or otherwise
under close watch from their parents. "Oh shit."
He slowly raised his eyes to stare at the tiny frozen picture of
the monster. "Damn. I knew this Spiderman thing was a bad idea."
Sailor Uranus stood with a firm looking frown on her face on
top of a table ten feet away. Power crackled up and down her
gloved arms as she ground her teeth and simply stared at the
thing. "Hey."
"Well, it's about time you got here," said the thing as it
leered at her and formed a ball of flame in its palm. It started
to rise into the air with the child still in its grasp. "It's a
pity you can't do anything about this."
"The others don't seem to mind killing, why would I?" replied
the blonde girl calmly as she raised her palm.
"Even a little girl?" asked the thing.
"If it's to destroy something like you?" replied Uranus
calmly. "I am Sailor Uranus, and I'm gonna shove that little
fireball up your ass."
Carrot flipped in midair as he shot out another line and
forced himself away. "Damn it!" He pulled himself straight up and
landed on a rooftop nearby. "Did that get him?"
A small oval of green energy shot out of the hole and slammed
into the building, exploding just under his feet after passing
through the wall below. He jumped away in the nick of time and
landed on the opposite side of the roof. "Guess not."
The creature hadn't reappeared yet and he had time to think
for a moment. "Okay, he's faster, more maneuverable, and can
throw an infinite amount of fireballs at you. What do you do?"
The Goblin slowly rose into view from below the edge of the
roof. He had a grin on his face and his arms were crossed over
his chest. There was a glowing green light forming in front of
the small set of wings that kept him aloft.
"You run like hell," said Carrot to himself.
"Wise choice," said the Goblin as it leered at him.
Carrot felt like crying. "Man, this really sucks!" He was
looking at a huge photo of himself on the front page.
Luna smiled cheerfully at him. "It's not so bad."
"What do you mean? Not only is there yet another senshi, but
now I'm a celebrity! I wanted to avoid this kind of thing!"
"Well you've done a pretty shitty job of it," commented Gia.
"Is that really you?"
"Yes," he muttered as he narrowed his eyes.
"Nice outfit," she muttered as she glanced at the paper.
"Shut up," he muttered hatefully.
"Hey lady..."
"Spiderman!"
Kei and Carrot both stopped talking when they heard it.
"Okay Carrot. Maybe you are a little crazy, but you're not
really Spiderman after all. I mean, it was just a little fun
right? Nothing to worry about, I mean come on..."
Kei turned to look at the boy as he started talking to
himself. The huge dark figure that had appeared on the street in
front of them was almost forgotten for a moment. She turned to
face him and frowned. "Who are you?"
"Venom," said Carrot fearfully.
Carrot was shaking badly. He had quickly moved up into the
safety of the shadows above the scene after Kei and Venom had
started arguing. "Oh shit! I knew this was a stupid idea! I just
knew it! Great job Carrot! You asshole!"
He squeezed his eyes shut in anger and frustration. "I should
have known something like this would happen. What an idiot. I'm
not really Spiderman! I can't take this! Who is that asshole
anyway? Now I've got another moron after my ass, and I don't even
know who it is! Crap...I...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Carrot had looked down. He was currently on the bottom of a
ledge above the street. His hands and feet were sticking, holding
him in place.
Carrot was lying in bed staring at the ceiling. A strange and
familiar tingling started to form all along his body. It was
faint, but he knew it well enough to pick it up. "What the?" He
sat upright and heard a knock at his door.
Slowly, cautiously, he strolled over to the source of the
sound and put his hand on the doorknob. He slowly opened it and
peered around the other side.
"Hello Carrot. You said we would talk. You haven't called."
The boy stared at Michiru Kaiou's stern face and grinned
nervously. "Uh. Hi. I had a few things I had to take care of
first. I was going to call you in the morning..."
The girl narrowed her eyes at this and looked back at Gia and
Spike. The pair edged out of the room and out of her line of
sight. "Well I'm here now. Let's talk."
Carrot swallowed and nodded as he opened the door in order to
let her in. The tingling in his body had grown infinitely
stronger. "So...heh...what's up?"
Michiru just smiled at him.
Carrot had his back to the wall again, but he didn't look frightened this time. He was watching her closely.
She frowned at him firmly. "I can take care of myself."
"Then why do you need me?" he replied simply. "Michiru, face the facts, this is more than you can handle."
Anger burned in her eyes as she stared him down. She wasn't sure what to say or do. She raised her weapon up and fired two shots.
A voice called out from the next room as they heard the shots. He wasn't sure if it was just one of them or all of them screaming his name. He simply stared forward while gasping for breath as his eyes almost bugged out of his skull.
"You're not going to leave me behind like that," she said firmly as she narrowed her eyes at him. He had barely even seen the movement, it was incredibly fast. Two holes in the wall behind him now smoked on either side of his head. He swallowed hard and nodded. He turned his head and saw the door was cracked slightly. Three human heads and one small set of ears could be seen peering into the room.
"Do you mind? I'm talking to my boyfriend," said Michiru as she narrowed her eyes at them. They vanished in an instant.
"Oh god," muttered Carrot in horror.
"Eight o'clock, Friday night, you'd better be there."
Carrot nodded violently.
The girl tipped her head lightly and smiled cheerfully. "Good."
Carrot remained frozen against the wall as he stared forward. He completely ignored her leaving and gasped for breath. "Oh man. Why me?" He was almost in tears at this point.
Spike poked his head into the room and grinned at him. "At least she's cute!"
"You shut up!" he snapped as he hit the man in the face with an empty plastic bottle from the ground next to him.
"Carrot! Carrot! Come out of there!" snapped Gia as she pounded on the door.
"I don't wanna!" cried a weak sounding voice from inside the bathroom.
"He's been in there all morning!" growled Gia as she turned to look at Spike.
"Gee, I never thunk he'd be dis shy," said the man as he stared at the door.
"I've tried the lock, I've tried forcing it open, he's got it barricaded with something."
Spike scratched his head and sighed. "I dunno. I guess I can break it down for ya."
"I'll kick your ass if you do!" cried Carrot from inside. "I ain't goin out today! I'm stayin in here!"
"You jerk! I have to go to the bathroom!" growled Gia as she pounded on the door.
"So go across the street! They've got toilets there!"
"You little son of a bitch!"
Spike started to back away from the scene, but Gia whirled around and grabbed him by his ear. "Where the hell do you think you're going?"
"Uh, I was jus..."
"I'm staying here!" cried Carrot from inside the bathroom.
"Stop being such a wuss all you have to do is go to dinner or something!" cried Gia.
The door cracked every so slightly and Gia gasped as she saw Carrot stick his head out of the bathroom. "You think this is going to be that simple?"
She stared at him, he actually looked terrified. "Who cares about Michiru!? She's the least of my worries. I've got a date tonight and I'm a superhero. Every asshole I've ever pissed off will probably run into me tonight, I probably won't even make it to her house!"
Gia stared at him for a moment as he popped his head into the door again and closed it. "Did he just call himself a superhero?"
Spike nodded slowly. "I tink."
The woman's frustrated frown grew stronger and stronger. "What the hell is wrong with..."
Carrot slipped his hand back inside the door as Gia was silenced by a warm sticky fluid that covered her mouth.
The woman growled in rage and stared at the door as she rolled up her sleeves. She turned to look at Spike and pointed at the door.
The man hung his head and turned to face it. "Sorry bout dis kid."
"Aw man..." grumbled Carrot from the other side. He was thrown against the ground with the door slammed on top of him as Spike barreled into the room with his shoulder held low. The large man stumbled on top of the door, flattening the boy further.
Carrot blinked as he shifted around under the door, flailing his arms helplessly. "Get off you big oaf!" He froze and slowly turned his head as his extra senses picked up danger suddenly. "Uh oh."
Gia was standing over him glaring down with her heel tapping against the floor. She didn't look happy, and couldn't speak to him. It was the one good thing about his position at the moment.
"Seems our super woman brought a date to the show with her..." said Hikari as she held up the paper.
"Hey, she's kinda cute..." responded the first girl.
"Yeah, that super chick has good taste," agreed the other.
Hikari merely chuckled at this as she tossed the page aside. "A woman like that...is the only thing that can satisfy me."
"Aw man," grumbled the first girl.
"This again? Jeez Hikari, you make us feel so unloved sometimes."
"Can it. I know the both of you sleep around on me regularly."
"You're mean!" whined the pair in unison.
Hikari stood up and started to untie her robe as she walked towards the bathroom. "Sometimes I wonder why I put up with all this cuteness crap all the time." She paused and glanced around the room. With a heavy sigh she opened the bathroom door and walked inside. "Oh right. The money, gotta remember the money."
"I'm kind of wondering what the point of this is?" said Carrot as he stepped back slightly.
"I am honor bound to destroy any evil I find," replied the woman calmly. "I wasn't expecting to find such a vile spirit here, but since I have, I must follow through!" She jumped into the air and swung the massive weight down in a wide arc.
Carrot easily sidestepped the move and bounced towards the edge of the crowd. Those standing around him quickly moved away. "Yeah, frightened masses, thanks a lot!" he snapped at them.
"Not so fast!" snarled Venom as it simply shot a line into the boy's back and slammed him back onto the pavement.
Carrot was having trouble moving at this point. He simply groaned as he tried to push himself into just a sitting position.
Venom leered at him ghoulishly as it simply stood there and watched. "Heh. It may not be right, but it's definitely fun."
"Not having moral issues about this at all?" grumbled Carrot painfully as he managed to pick himself up finally. He stood slowly and staggered back a bit.
"I'll bet you're wondering how you'll get out of this one Spiderman. The answer is simple. You won't."
Carrot was starting to realize why Peter Parker was so terrified of Venom. In a way no other person on the planet could possibly understand. He doubted if Stan Lee himself could convey Spiderman's feelings on the matter better than he could at that moment. "Oh shit. I'm fucked."
Unfortunately, it was only the start of what was to become the busiest day of his life.
Carrot's mind worked fast. "Hey! What's that!?" He pointed off to their right.
"Eh?" said Venom as its attention moved to where he was pointing. "Say. What is that?"
Carrot was tossed aside almost casually. Venom obviously didn't think she'd have much trouble catching him again. The boy blinked in surprise as he found himself sitting on his rear on the pavement. "Huh?" He quickly scrambled away from Venom, who was staring up and to the right.
Carrot glanced back at her, the thing was obviously looking at something, but that wasn't a real big concern for him. He had to get away. He jumped into the air and sent out a web line. Venom didn't budge from where it was standing.
"Is it playing with me?" asked Carrot out loud as he peered back over his shoulder at the thing. It was about this point that he noticed the crowd was looking up in the same general direction.
"HA! HA! HAHAHAHAHA!"
Carrot cursed as a familiar laugh sounded from behind him. "Oh shit. You mean there really was something there?"
Goblin swooped out of the sky and rammed him in the back with the bottom of his glider.
Carrot was knocked off of his web line and plummeted towards the street. He twisted instantly and sent out another line barely in time to catch himself before he hit the pavement.
"Just the insect I was looking for! Hello Spiderman! Want to help me blow up the city? Ha ha ha! I'm sure we'll have a smashing time!"
"What the hell did he just say?" muttered Carrot in a sort of stupefied horror. That line was right out of a comic book. "I knew I shoulda just stayed in the bathroom all day! Damn you Gia!"
Goblin swooped back and fourth behind him as he swung away. He lobbed a bomb into one of the buildings sending a shower of debris into the air that almost knocked Spiderman out of the air.
The boy landed on the pavement once again and cursed. "Oh man. How much worse can this get?"
"You should know better than to say that. It's bad luck," replied the Goblin cheerfully as he hovered nearby.
"Now where were we?" said Venom as it turned towards Carrot again.
The boy simply swallowed and backed away a little more. "You were just about to let me go?"
"No. I think I was going to put a hole in your throat to repay you for the one you gave me. Remember?"
"My god. It is Usagi..." muttered Carrot in horror. Somehow, some way, he'd pissed off Sailor Moon so much that she'd told him that she was going to cut his throat open. That shouldn't have been possible.
"I hope you don't seriously think you've finished me off so easily. You surprised me once, but now it ends."
"Eh?" growled Venom as it peered back over its shoulder.
Goblin lobbed a bomb directly into the creature's back. Venom was sent flying as it exploded. The beast crushed a brick wall as it impacted and sent people running from a small nearby business screaming.
"Man. This is going to be a hell of a day," said Carrot as he turned to look at Goblin again.
"It will be your last. Enjoy it," said the thing.
"No. Murder is wrong!" roared Venom as it smashed through the pile of bricks and rushed out into the street again. "Maiming is okay, but killing him is a bit too much."
Carrot wanted to cry, he really did. So naturally he acted tough. "You jerks think you can take Spiderman!? Come on then! I'll kick both your asses!"
Goblin and Venom both turned to face the boy in unison.
Carrot stood his ground and waited.
The two monsters began to laugh at him.
Every step he took towards the street felt heavier. His tasks just kept mounting up. Now he had to fight Goblin, figure out a way to get Usagi out of that thing, get the stupid bitch her powers back, avoid Kei, stay out of the Yakuza's hair for a while and hope those other ninja didn't get brave again, avoid Yakuza hitmen, get the cat's memories back, avoid the violent Chinese National, find a way to get Kajura to leave him the hell alone, find a way to get rid of his new and psychopathic girlfriend, get rid of the freeloading Chinese National, find a new apartment and get some damn solitude, and pick up Michiru by eight.
Carrot noted that the last thing on his list was a date. "Oh god. I've really become Spiderman. This sucks."
by stratagemini » Fri Sep 08, 2006 3:19 pm
The sounds of explosions grew ever closer as he sped towards the scene. His head cocked as he realized he could hear something below him.
People were looking up at him and cheering, while pointing in the direction of the general destruction. The streets were a mess, and debris covered the pavement almost completely in a few places.
"Yeah. I'm going to get my ass kicked and these people are cheering and telling me which way to go. Great. Thanks a lot frightened masses."
Venom snarled as it climbed up the side of a building after the annoying youma.
"Are you sure you don't want a hand? It's taking you an awfully long time to climb this," taunted the Goblin as he hovered at about ten stories, more or less halfway up the building.
Venom jumped away as another bomb fell from above. It twisted in mid air and swung across the street as the explosion shattered the building.
"Hey assholes! Don't you know littering is a crime?!"
Venom and Goblin turned their heads in unison. Goblin twisted in the air with the strike and nearly spun out of control as a garden hoe knocked him hard in the jaw. "Argh!"
Venom received a shovel that merely bounced off it's skin. "Ah. Spiderman!"
"Look at the mess you two made. Well, it's time to start cleaning it up."
"You must be joking!" muttered Goblin as he shifted from side to side in the air.
"Not very funny."
The boy didn't move and simply looked at Venom. "If that is you in there Tsukino. I think it's time you made a decision."
"What's that?" snarled the creature with a deep hiss.
"Which of us, is the lesser evil?"
"Eh?" muttered Goblin as he jerked his head towards Spiderman. "So that's your game is it?"
"You can try to take both of us, or we can get this jerk out of the way so we can finish our fight later."
Venom didn't move.
"Well?" asked Goblin.
"We're thinking," replied Venom. It turned towards Spiderman and shrugged. "Very well. We'll dispose of this thing, and then we'll poke a hole in your throat."
"Not very inventive," commented Goblin.
"Mind your own business!" hissed the thing.
A dull thumping sounded above them and the trio looked skyward.
"Police? Again? Can't those idiots catch a clue?" grumbled Goblin.
"Great. Helicopters," muttered Carrot as he saw three police choppers emerge from behind several of the taller buildings.
"This is the police! Stay where you are! You are under arrest!"
"Well. I can tell this is going to turn into a big mess."
"Best get started then!" cried Goblin as he shot into the air. He made a bee's line straight for one of the choppers.
"No! We have to stop him!" growled Venom as it followed.
"Hey! Where the hell are you two going! Haven't we broken enough of the city?!" Carrot kicked at the dirt and followed reluctantly. "I hate you both!"
Carrot was swinging as fast as he could, the Goblin's bombs were much more random now. He seemed to be tossing them more to make noise than anything else at this point. In fact, he only lobbed one or two every minute or so. "What the hell is he up too?" He saw the open area of the building in front of him. It was a large concrete area about twice the size of a football field. Beside it was a series of large storage buildings, and just beyond that several cargo ships were docked.
"Oh look! We've arrived!" said Goblin as he shot forward and turned to face Carrot as the boy found himself out of things to swing from. He landed on the concrete and glanced around.
"What? This is it?" muttered the boy. "You caused all that damage just to bring me here?"
"What better way to kill my enemies? Get them all together in one place, and boom! Ha ha ha ha!"
"Boom?" muttered Carrot dumbly. "Look. I'm sure you spent a whole ten minutes thinking up this stupid plan, but..."
"What do you think of my plan little girl?" Goblin spun around on his glider and faced a row of semi trailers.
Kei was standing on top of them with a deep frown on her face. Kajura and Saito were crouched on the other side of the boxes now watching the scene play out.
"Oh. Hi Kei," said Carrot dumbly as he waved his hand at her.
The girl ignored him and glared at the monster. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Eliminating my problems," replied the thing as it charged a bomb up and reared his arm back. "You've gotten an awfully big mouth lately. I guess I should kill you and the rest of that pathetic clan now as well. I'm sure you'd have died protecting your master anyway."
"Why do I get the feeling this doesn't have much to do with me at all?" grumbled Carrot irritably.
Kei shot into the air as Goblin's bomb ripped the trailer apart from under her feet. She extended her wings and flew towards the beast.
Carrot did nothing but watch as Goblin simply turned out of the way. He could turn on a dime; Kei was a different matter. She was fast, but gliding didn't exactly give her a great turning radius.
"Maybe I can get away while he's distracted?" muttered the boy to himself as he backed away. Usagi was out of danger, and he saw no reason to stick around anymore. "If I'm really lucky, they'll kill each other."
"Hello Spiderman, thought you could run away from us?"
"I was kind of hoping yeah," replied the boy as he turned to see Venom landing about twenty yards to his right. "Can this wait till later? I'm kind of hoping two of my problems will kill each other." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. Kei was making another pass at Goblin. The monster easily evaded the pass and moved a little higher into the air.
"If that one is busy, we have you all to ourselves!"
"Hey! I thought we were going to take care of him first!" snapped Carrot as he pointed at the battle behind him.
"Let them play for a while. We'll take care of the monster if it wins."
"Of all the ungrateful..." grumbled Carrot as he glared at the thing.
"We appreciate you keeping Goblin distracted so we could heal ourselves. We won't maim you for now. That doesn't mean we're going to just forgive you though."
Carrot was sweating bullets and every part of his body ached. Whatever Venom was, it sure wasn't acting like Usagi Tsukino. That bothered him on more than one level.
by Neko- » Fri Sep 08, 2006 3:55 pm
by camk4evr » Sun Sep 10, 2006 2:45 am
"Th-This is crazy!" Usagi said, starting to become upset as Ami made her case. "I'm not a cyborg! I'm still me!"
"Well, yeah. Of course you're still you," Minako said reassuringly, squeezing Usagi's shoulder. "Now you're just... you with satellite radio!"
"This isn't really the time for your stupid jokes!" Rei snapped.
Ami sighed. "No, she's right. I've isolated the radio transmitter here," she said, pointing at one of the images. "And directly below it here is a broadband router. She's got an entire media center hardwired into her frontal lobe."
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!" Usagi said, clamping her hands over her ears and shaking her head. "This isn't right! It can't be true!"
"Simply denying it isn't going to solve anything." Rei said firmly. "We have to figure out who did this and why."
"But it's not true!" The ponytailed blonde cried. "Ami's wrong! I'm not a cyborg!"
Makoto chewed her lip anxiously, well aware that they were on sensitive ground in respect to Usagi's emotional stability. "Well... the evidence is right here... I mean, can you prove she's wrong?"
"Prove it? How am I supposed to prove it if she says I act and feel the same?" Usagi said hotly. "How? Am I supposed to open up my stomach and show you my insides?"
Shoompf! Rip! Two hinged sections of Usagi's abdominal flesh suddenly separated and opened up, tearing her shirt down the middle and revealing, in the middle of an open cavity lined with what appeared to be steel mesh and wiring, a large glass cylinder where Usagi's stomach and intestines should have been, glowing a bright green as it maintained its contents of hot plasma.
A moment of silence ensued as each girl (and feline equivalent) took the time to digest this bizarre occurrence at their own pace.
Then, at some unspoken but universally accepted signal, they commenced freaking out.
"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
Click! Crunch!
Click! Crunch!
Click! Snap! Crunch!
Click! Crunch!
Rei's eyebrow twitched irritably as she tried her best to participate in the Senshi meeting, and organize the joint effort to come up with a solution to investigating Usagi's kidnappers.
The meeting was rather off-track, however, because said girl was completely engrossed in eating tiny hard candies that she could dispense from her wrist. And Rei was certain that she wasn't the only one disturbed by the sight of their princess sitting in the corner, forearm over her head, while flicking her wrist Spider-Man-style and devouring the tiny sugar tablets that had come out of her in the first place.
Click! Crunch!
Click! Crunch!
"So... uh... terrorists..." Minako said, clearly not focused on the matter at hand. "What was it we decided on about that?"
"NOTHING," Rei snapped. "That's what we're here to do. This is a brainstorming session."
Click! Crunch!
Click! Crunch!
Click! Gulp! Kack! Cough!
Usagi coughed twice more, and then blinked rapidly as her throat cleared. "Whoa... I missed that one."
"I'd guessed," Rei deadpanned, fighting the urge to restrict her princess' breathing more permanently. "Can we get back to the issue at hand?"
"That depends. Am I out of Pez?" Usagi asked rhetorically.
[No.] Came the text response in blocky green lettering.
"Sweet!" Usagi raised her arm again, only to have it yanked back down by the temperamental fire Senshi.
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