Very short, only reason why I put it up is because I couldn't get it out of my head.
Warning: Your eyes may burn out just by reading this fic. While not horrible enough that you may gorge your eye out, readers (especially CERTAIN readers) should sit down while reading this.
Not exactly a fic for all ages. You have been warned.
Truth about Youthful Energy
*Rock Lee - Age 15*
Rock Lee looked semi-disturbed as he arrived at the training place where he and Gai-sensei were to meet that day. As he arrived, he could see Neji leaving as he rarely practiced with anyone else, leaving the two of them alone.
(More to the point, he left so that he won't have to see two men hugging each other like they were long-lost lovers.)
"Lee, I see something has dampened your Flames of Youth! Tell me what's wrong, and we shall one again feed that flame back to its orignal strength!" Gai declared, immediately noticing something was wrong since Lee didn't start up his Flames of Youth speech.
"Gai-sensei... I've been having un-youthful thoughts! Please help me get rid of them!" Lee declared as he got on his knees and begged Gai.
Gai had this serious look on his face as he patted Lee's shouders. "I guess you are old enough to know the Secret Training Technique that has been passed down since my sensei's sensei. With it, you will never have unyouthful thoughts ever again, and will be able to focus on training 100%."
Lee's eyes sparkled as he looked up to his sensei. "Really?"
Gai gave the Good-Guy Grin (with sparkles) and a thumbs up. "Of course Lee! You're my favorate pupil, and I will only do my best to train you!"
The two of them walked off to a secret place that was decreed by his sensei's sensei and preformed the Secret Training Technique, with much screaming and pain. When Lee was asked why he was walking weirdly in the next few weeks, all he said was training.
(From then on, whenever Neji was around Lee, he would avoid activiting his Bayakugan, as every time he did, he would get this sick look on his face. He didn't say anything either.)
*Naruto Umizaki - age 16*
"Man, I can't get Sakura to really like me..." Naruto was complaining to Lee, seeing that they had bumpped into each other near the Ramen stand Naruto normally goes to. "Heck, it's not just Sakura. None of the girls really like me or anything at all."
"Naruto, those are unyouthful thoughts!" Lee declared. "I can help you get rid of them so you can regain your Youthful Energy!"
Naruto sweatdropped. "Ah... No thanks, Lee. When I become Hokage, I'm sure it'll solve the problem."
Lee shook his head. "No, I insist. I learned how to do the Secret Training Technique, so I can teach you how to get rid of those unyouthful thoughts."
Naruto paid for his meal as he hopped off the bar and left the Ramen stand with Lee in tow. "So, what does the training consist of?"
Lee told him.
Naruto's eyes went wide. "HELL NO!" He yelled as his hands insinctively went to his crotch. "I'M NOT CUTTING IT OFF!"
"But Naruto! It's the ONLY way to get rid of those unyouthful thoughts!" Lee said as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
"I said NO, and I MEAN... Wait... You went through it?" Naruto asked with morbid curiosity.
"Of course! Gai-sensei helped me through it last year!" Lee said, giving the Good-Guy Grin and Pose.
Naruto started to back off from Lee. "That means... Oh my God... No, go away! Don't come near me!" He franticly back-peddled from the curious Lee, and quickly ran away from the taijutsu master.
"Hmm. I understand now!" Lee thought as he watched Naruto escape. "You're too scared to do it yourself!" He cried some tears of understanding. "Don't worry, Naruto. I shall help you through this period of unyouthfulness!"
That said, he quickly ran back to his home to prepare for that night.
*That Night*
Naruto had finally managed to get rid of the horrible mental image in his mind and finally went to sleep.
Lee, having arrived way past midnight, decided not to wake his friend up, snuck in by the various ninja means he learnt and quickly placed his small bag of items needed for the Secret Training Technique on top of a counter.
Finding a pot, he poured it full with water and left a short but wide knife in it, then placed it on top of the stove to heat up. He removed some bandages and guase, as well as a medium-sized pot, from his pack, and went to check on Naruto.
Naruto, on his part, has managed to shuffle in his sleep until one leg was on top of the blanket, while the other was under it.
"Yosh! Tonight, we get rid of your unyouthful thoughts and we shall burn with Youthful Energy together!" He thought as he posed, his eyes burning with his determination.
Going back outside, he waited until the water was boiling hot and the blade was hot enough before turning the stove off, and once again entering Naruto's room.
Five minutes later, a loud scream of a certain blond can be heard all over Konoha.
*The Day After*
"So, let me get this straight." Tsunade said as she rubbed her forehead to get rid of the headache, that for once, wasn't due to a hangover. "Lee somehow got into your room, and did... that to you, which somehow caused the minds of both you and the Kyuubi to become syncronized and you chased Lee ACROSS the VILLAGE, DESTROYING EVERYTHING IN YOUR WAY, and CRIPPLED HIM to the point where he was when he was in the exams, and then you found that the Kyuubi was male as well, and decided to help you regrow your... thing into the monsterous... thing... it is right now."
"Right." Naruto growled out angrily. "And if I see Lee or Gai, I'll do it again! So let them know that."
"I'll let them know." Tsunade said with a twitch. "Luckily, you didn't kill anyone, so the council (which also luckily for you, is composed of only males with the exception of me) decided to let you off due to the circumstances. Go talk with Jiraya or something while I deal with this mess, will you?"
Naruto gave off a twitchy nod before storming out of the office, leaving Tsunade sighing. "It's too early in the morning to be dealing with this..." She muttered as she threw away her sake bottles, since it reminded her of Naruto's monster way too much.
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AN: Funnily enough, there's an actual Chinese Martial-Arts novel that has a style that requires you to do that. Something about how it imbalances the chi or whatnot...
No, I'm not joking.
