A Surviving Mau Chapter 5 (Chapter Finished)

[KonokoHasano]

Don't you think your Ranma is somewhat too optimistic and naive?

Yeah, but the reality of this event and staying with the Amazons for a while would be what he needed to learn. The way I planned it was to have Ranma still a complete child through the first part of it all, but gradually come into the knowledge of just what reality was like.

Meaning he's learning as he goes. His coming distrust in his father would be something to get him started.

[J. St.C. Patrick]

I like the additions to the chapter and the fight between Ranma and Shampoo.

here are two things I noticed:

As the cat turned human was putting a couple of the things away, she noticed something. Glancing at it, she noticed that it was some kind of address, and there was a picture included with it. The small photo consisted of a kindly looking woman with reddish-brown hair. ‘She looks sort of like Ranma.’ Glancing at the address, she saw that it said the name Nodoka Saotome. Blinking, she looked towards her friend. “Ranma, do you know a lady named Nodoka Saotome?” At the neo-girl’s blank look, she provided the picture. Upon looking, a small memory in the back of Ranma’s mind flickered.

Perhaps I missed it, but when did Miki learn to read?

Nobody really knew what was going on, but Khu Lon suggested that maybe some of Ranma had been transferred to Miki somehow, and that the pink-haired cat-girl might be turning into what Ranma was.

It feels as if something is missing here - as if it should say something like:

Ranma's magic had

[KonokoHasano]

J. St.C. Patrick: Hmm... yeah, the part about Miki being able to read Nodoka's name needs to be changed. Maybe just change it to her not knowing what it said, but noticing the picture. Thanks.

[steveoirish]

What are you planning to have Nodoka due? I mean her she gets a letter from her son and not genma? Would she be concerned enough to say take a trip to visit china. Would Ku-lon add some thing to the letter explaining the situation to her? And i can just imagine her reaction to a chiba ranma with adorable cat ears and tail. She could do a formal adoption of Miki too

[KonokoHasano]

Yeah, I planned on Khu Lon adding a few things within the letter to explain some things going on. She also added an address for if Nodoka ever wanted to send some letters of her own.

[B'man]

borgrabbit: As for the monster that attacked: I didn't want to just do a run-of-the-mill monster that was tall, clawed, fanged, and just ugly. I was going to, but my imagination wouldn't let me.

When I read that part, the one monster that came to mind was the Chocobo Eater from Final Fantasy X:

[KonokoHasano]

XD I'm glad I can get people to think of the closest thing that's on their mind.

[Spokavriel]

Surely her pandafied could provide them with the answer to their question.

Still got the missing father problem.

The cat-gloves had changed from wrist length to shoulder-length,

Something about this seems odd to me. I didn't mention it before but wouldn't the gloves be elbow length instead of Shoulder Length?

Xian Pu always seemed reluctant at time to help him, but would always come through in the end.

This one is still here too so I'm guessing you didn't do any edits to the earlier parts yet. At least not in the thread.

There are places where Moose's grammer could be better but I felt it fit making it seem like he was still having a bit of trouble with Japanese.

“I expect you to apologize to her as soon as you can, and I don’t appreciate you slapping her. Go home to your mother and I’ll inform this of her later.”

It's ok for Moose but not for Cologne. I'll inform her of this later. Maybe with an added threat or even implied one that his mother had better know before she gets there would be nice to add too.

So our little Miki knows addresses? I could see her thinking it was important but actually knowing it was an address Or being able to read Nodoka's name is a big streach. Maybe she picks the items up and Cologne can ask to see them and then have her rekognize the address and ask about Nodoka. It's either that or having Miki learn to read through the link with Ranma and it's too soon for that. Especially when Ranma has trouble even writing.

It's nice seeing a Senshi that isn't at least temporarilly locked when in Uniform. Too many stories have the magic stop the Jusenkyo Magic to make it easier to write combat scenes.

Great chapter now to see what reviews I missed when going over the completed thing.

It seems J.St.C. Patrick also noticed the letter.

[KonokoHasano]

Spokavriel: Thanks. Usually when I do a chapter, I try to finish it before I make corrections. >,> I also usually plan to fix the corrections before I start typing again, but it usually slips my mind.

And yeah, I think its better to have Miki notice that it was possibly an address, but couldn't read a thing about it. The only thing she could figure out was from the photo.

I also wondered if I should have the form locked when transformed, but considering that both forms have Senshi powers, it could be helpful. Especially if Ranma was in male Senshi form and needed to turn female.

[B'man]

A possibly interesting idea that just occurred to me: many cats dislike water. Hot-climate cats (lion, cheetah) like water because it keeps them cool; cold-climate cats hate it because it stops their hair from insulating against cold.

Other cats, including domestic cats, will only go near water on their own terms and will avoid somewhere if they had a bad experience with water (such as getting it squirted at them), but can eventually grow to accept and sometimes even like it if they have enough good/safe experiences with it.

Working something like this into the story would take a fair bit of rewriting of the last two chapters though, but there are interesting possibilities in there.

[Heaven's Deamon]

B'Man, you're forgetting an important factor for the big cats: aquatic predators. most of the big cats, such as the lion and cheetah you mention have to be extremely careful around larger bodies of water lest they get attack by a crocodile, or some other creature that prefers water and is actually a threat to them. This results in most breeds of feline (big or small, if it can threaten the big ones it can threaten any small ones as well) being afraid of water instinctivly. The main exception I know of is the Siberian Tiger which has no aquatic predators in it's natural habitat.

[Andy2kk]

Genma didn't do anything that bad. The Amazons put him in a cell, whatever he did with his son has nothing to do with them. What right do they have to punish him? Why shouldn't he try and escape, if a few amazons got hurt in his escape attempt it's their own fault for holding him. With all the bashing Genma is getting in this fic, even if some of it is deserved I'm really hoping he will escape with Ranma and miki. He needs to use his forbidden techniques, turn invisible and throw ki blades, use that house destroying one too.

[Tovath]

Some of the things that Genma did would be considered child abuse in any civilized land and should be punished by anyone who can help the kids.
The Amazons most likely have laws to that effect and we all know how they are about enforcing their laws.

[Spokavriel]

Genma didn't do anything that bad. The Amazons put him in a cell, whatever he did with his son has nothing to do with them. What right do they have to punish him? Why shouldn't he try and escape, if a few amazons got hurt in his escape attempt it's their own fault for holding him. With all the bashing Genma is getting in this fic, even if some of it is deserved I'm really hoping he will escape with Ranma and miki. He needs to use his forbidden techniques, turn invisible and throw ki blades, use that house destroying one too.

How do you define "That Bad" It was torturing a child in a potentialy lethal and forbidden, outlawed to the amazons, training method.

What right does a police officer in any country have to arrest the father of a child who tells them that they get abused? Even when the kid doesn't know it is abuse.

Genma is lazy that covers some time. As long as he's being fed and doesn't have reason to think the Amazons will kill him he should be a little content. I think as soon as he hears that they are teaching Ranma more Martial Arts techniques with him not having to do anything for it his main worry would become Ranma getting soft or going girly.