The Return 21 Restoration and Regret Part 1

[PCHeintz72]

It's a lair where she knew she was going to be experimenting on people. Having low profile escape routes is kinda manditory. To get away from not just enemies but experiments if things go wrong.

[Exactly.

But... under normal circumstances, they would be able to teleport. In fact... she did try to teleport, and commented there were inhibitors.

Knowing they were in a originally normal house, and knowing what Ranma did to a mountainside stronghold with tons of tunnels and hundreds of personel. Digging tunnels made little sense to me.

Not not every energy weapon would have a lance of light. Many have spheres of energy instead of beams. Some even have continuous beams making it look like it's a true lance still being held by the warrior as it pierces their oponent. I don't see why someone would want to have a weapon like that as a sniper because it would always be pointing the entire length to their location.
[....
[Not literal.
[Yes, it wasn't a very good sniper weapon.
[That's part of how Morgan beat her.
[These combat cyborgs have been sourced from Nanoha StrikerS with weapons and powers. I've made some changes, but the insanity of a sniper being so... obvious. Struck me.
[It's really less of a sniper weapon and more of direct fire artillery support.

Correct. Which was why I was specific in stating every *beam* weapon was like a lance. In truth, it should be noted a laser, in and of itself, need not have any color whatsoever. The only reason they do in the TV series is so we, the audience, can see action. From a tactical standpoint, the only reason a user should need to see it is so the user can tell if hitting the target or not.

EDIT:

I guess the real confusion is that Sunny turned Eve so even as a sister she's still the elder.

Even though siblings have played with each others horns I just can't remember anywhere that it was made clear it could be done in a way that would leave someone with full rational control over their own will.

I mean sure when they were both playing with each others horns it was consensual but that doesn't make it certain they were immune to influence from the contact.

Which was sort of my own take on it, and why I commented.

[Spokavriel]

Knowing they were in a originally normal house, and knowing what Ranma did to a mountainside stronghold with tons of tunnels and hundreds of personel. Digging tunnels made little sense to me.

Where did you get the idea that it was ever a normal house beyond just the physical outward appearance? Murdock has a hand in making the place ready for Mercury's needs and it's been fortified to avoid detection by normal means and the gates of time.

Where in the story did it claim it ever was normal?

In fact it's been so fortified from normal means of intelligence gathering it made it stand out to WIC after they knew to suspect it.

[Climhazard]

The Checha were the precursor to the KGB.

Um... You a little wrong here. Checha(actually Cheka) - ВЧК, not a KGB precursor. It more like... Cheka precursor of GPU(ГПУ) which is precursor of OGPU(ОГПУ) who in turn precursor of NKVD(НКВД — НКГБ) who is precursor of MGB(МГБ) who is(finally !!!) precursor to the KGB .

And in general the Soviet Military thought that the KGB was a bunch of unaccountable, power hungry bastards.

You exaggerate a little, but yes... Military, especially Military Intelligence, disliked KGB.
Although i find hard to belive that Politburo give such a ambitious project like a cyborg creation, to Military. Give it under a KGB "wing" much more "in character" for them.

On the technical side: shouldn't the cyborgs be old and rusty now? They were made no later than the late 80-s - practically 20 years ago.

HIGLY doubt about "late 80-s". Cheb, keep in mind that in late 80-s we already have Gorbachev as ruler. Do you truly belive that idiot may spent even a single ruble on something like this?

[Sunshine Temple]

Spokavriel

I guess the real confusion is that Sunny turned Eve so even as a sister she's still the elder.

[Yes That's true.

Even though siblings have played with each others horns I just can't remember anywhere that it was made clear it could be done in a way that would leave someone with full rational control over their own will.

[Then that makes some of the sex the mated pairs have pretty dark.

I mean sure when they were both playing with each others horns it was consensual but that doesn't make it certain they were immune to influence from the contact.

[Hmm

PCHeintz72

It's a lair where she knew she was going to be experimenting on people. Having low profile escape routes is kinda manditory. To get away from not just enemies but experiments if things go wrong.

[Exactly.

But... under normal circumstances, they would be able to teleport. In fact... she did try to teleport, and commented there were inhibitors.
[Normal circumstances yes.
[But what about abnormal?
[If WIC came after her teleporting would be blocked, as it was this time.

Knowing they were in a originally normal house, and knowing what Ranma did to a mountainside stronghold with tons of tunnels and hundreds of personel. Digging tunnels made little sense to me.

[Mercury was living there before Ranma destroyed that mountain. Remember the fruit basket?
[So she could have put in tunnels before hand.

[Also she has an advantage that the mountain stronghold did not.
[That place as isolated so there was only a few places that the tunnels could come out.
[While Mercury is in a city, that has lots of underground passageways and tunnels

Not not every energy weapon would have a lance of light. Many have spheres of energy instead of beams. Some even have continuous beams making it look like it's a true lance still being held by the warrior as it pierces their oponent. I don't see why someone would want to have a weapon like that as a sniper because it would always be pointing the entire length to their location.
[....
[Not literal.
[Yes, it wasn't a very good sniper weapon.
[That's part of how Morgan beat her.
[These combat cyborgs have been sourced from Nanoha StrikerS with weapons and powers. I've made some changes, but the insanity of a sniper being so... obvious. Struck me.
[It's really less of a sniper weapon and more of direct fire artillery support.

Correct. Which was why I was specific in stating every *beam* weapon was like a lance. In truth, it should be noted a laser, in and of itself, need not have any color whatsoever. The only reason they do in the TV series is so we, the audience, can see action. From a tactical standpoint, the only reason a user should need to see it is so the user can tell if hitting the target or not.

visible.

uot; beam of very high power, one could see it leaving some kind of optical bleed to it.


EDIT:

I guess the real confusion is that Sunny turned Eve so even as a sister she's still the elder.

Even though siblings have played with each others horns I just can't remember anywhere that it was made clear it could be done in a way that would leave someone with full rational control over their own will.

I mean sure when they were both playing with each others horns it was consensual but that doesn't make it certain they were immune to influence from the contact.

Which was sort of my own take on it, and why I commented.

[That's true.

Spokavriel

Where did you get the idea that it was ever a normal house beyond just the physical outward appearance? Murdock has a hand in making the place ready for Mercury's needs and it's been fortified to avoid detection by normal means and the gates of time.

[Indeed it was. Mercury, Orion, and Murdock had been planning for this house for a long time.

Where in the story did it claim it ever was normal?

In fact it's been so fortified from normal means of intelligence gathering it made it stand out to WIC after they knew to suspect it.
[Indeed. They did too good a job and thus it stuck out as a "black hole"


ADDED:

Climhazard

The Checha were the precursor to the KGB.

Um... You a little wrong here. Checha(actually Cheka) - ВЧК, not a KGB precursor. It more like... Cheka precursor of GPU(ГПУ) which is precursor of OGPU(ОГПУ) who in turn precursor of NKVD(НКВД — НКГБ) who is precursor of MGB(МГБ) who is(finally !!!) precursor to the KGB .

[Heh so I cut out a few of the middlemen.
[But yeah, lots of groups.

And in general the Soviet Military thought that the KGB was a bunch of unaccountable, power hungry bastards.

You exaggerate a little, but yes... Military, especially Military Intelligence, disliked KGB.

[Exaggerating is half the fun with these poor brainwashed girls.

Although i find hard to belive that Politburo give such a ambitious project like a cyborg creation, to Military. Give it under a KGB "wing" much more "in character" for them.

[That's a good point.
[My thinking was that it was a more military application.
[Though such cyborgs would also have useful intelligence applications too.

[I suppose the only way I could get away with it is by having it be "politics"
[Where the research was originally military and the Politburo kept it there as a way to have some leverage over the KGB.
[And the KGB could have some oversight. That could also build into how this program failed and was eventually shut down.

[I don't know if that would work.

[DCG]

I do have to say though... this further transformation seems a bit wrong to me. Ranma had been going on about demons having a choice, and while I did not look it up, I believe the form Eve had when becoming a succubus was one she had chosen. In effect, Ranma has overridden that choice.
&
Ehhh... I read and interpreted that as being Ranma feeding energy into her without prior discussion. During alll prior such instances, either there was a full discussion on it (like Eve''s initial trasformation), or the life of the person was at stake (like Nariko). It seemed an odd divergence, and sat the wrong way when reading it. Even if Eve were willing, why would Ranma do it at that immediate point, and how whould Ranma know to do so. I would have thought maybe perhaps in more controled circumstances, like back at base.

The impression that scene left on me is that Ranma was Relived and.. Validated? I think that’s a good term for it.
In her choice to trust eve when she was first turned.

It seems to be quite a big thing for a brood mother to create a “sister” and put her in a place of command in the family. Eve reacting so strongly to her daughter being injured proved that Ranma was right about her, All so seems the battle and Eve got Dark Star a bit excited . Funny that.

For the horns.. Akane was upset Ranma was using them as a “shortcut” to just make her feel better. But they have to be there for other reasons as well. Why wouldn’t close succubae or mates use them to please each other?
With the mark on their heads forming and Eve’s new hair style, Dark Star seemed more like the power source to me. Granted she was directing it all to the babe she had her arms around. It didn’t read as controlled or forced like how she had to change Kuno into Nariko or heck, any of her children.

[Spokavriel]

Eve is older in birth form. Maybe allowing their energies to balance made her more mature as a Succubus? But why she would have a thicker tail and all... Maybe Eve can ask about it later on because it does seem to go a bit beyond a balance.

[Sunshine Temple]

DCG's right. It's relief at being validated here.

Ranma put alot of herself at risk turning Eve into a sister, and she's very happy that it worked out. That Eve is an acutal peer to Ranma.

Ranma doesn't have many of those.

[ranger5]

Good chapter, characterizations still well done and the story flows well.

I only have one minor issue with the story as it is.

I still get a bit confused though by the new names, but I'm not sure how to correct that as "double naming" the characters from time to time -- would probably make the story "drag" a bit there, even if used sparingly. Perhaps it's just me though.

One suggestion would be to put a listing at the beginning or end with who is now who --- the main ones I can keep up with Akane, Tatwaki etc ... but as more Succubi are added (from WIC) I can see some difficulty in keeping the "score-card" correct.

But again that could just be me.

[Spokavriel]

It's not just you. I have a list I taped so it's hanging off the side of my monitor to help keep it strait.

[Sunshine Temple]

Ranger5
Good chapter, characterizations still well done and the story flows well.
[Thanks. I'm always happy that my stories can get you out to comment.
[And I wish you luck on your own work.

I only have one minor issue with the story as it is.

I still get a bit confused though by the new names, but I'm not sure how to correct that as "double naming" the characters from time to time -- would probably make the story "drag" a bit there, even if used sparingly. Perhaps it's just me though.

[It is a very, very large cast.

One suggestion would be to put a listing at the beginning or end with who is now who --- the main ones I can keep up with Akane, Tatwaki etc ... but as more Succubi are added (from WIC) I can see some difficulty in keeping the "score-card" correct.


[Fortunately, I'm not going to change the names of Morgan Graham or Richard Morrison
[It's also funny to have a succubus with that first name.
[Not sure a listing of names would be feasible, I worry that it'll grow into a listing of everyone.

But again that could just be me.

[Not at all, there's a lot of new names floating around.

[This is why I try to limit the new names

Spokavriel

It's not just you. I have a list I taped so it's hanging off the side of my monitor to help keep it strait.

[Really? Hmmm is that from the name changes or the sheer volume?

[Spokavriel]

Mostly volume. The new people they have become in cases like Kuno and Ryouga also make it hard to remember and associate the Succubus with the former identity.

I think I could manage without a cheat sheet if I got to know the characters better but well Sunny's daughters that have had their names and natures changed tend to not get allot of spotlight time.

[Sunshine Temple]

Mostly volume. The new people they have become in cases like Kuno and Ryouga also make it hard to remember and associate the Succubus with the former identity.

I think I could manage without a cheat sheet if I got to know the characters better but well Sunny's daughters that have had their names and natures changed tend to not get allot of spotlight time.

Ah I see. That's true with Nariko and Misako. And screen time is a challenge with a cast like this.

[Spokavriel]

Always a good reason for a side story or two. Give some events for everyone else without having to hurt the pace in the main fic.

[Sunshine Temple]

Always a good reason for a side story or two. Give some events for everyone else without having to hurt the pace in the main fic.

That is the nice advantage to having such a large world and numerous characters. There's a lot of options.

[Nadrek]

These comments apply to a first very tired read on fanfiction.net late night between Sunday and Monday.

Regarding the beam weapon as a poor choice for a sniper, I'd say not at all for a military operation with a single target. If you need followup shots, they're going to be taken after artillery, air or other support has been called down on you, but if the sole goal is the elimination of a single target, then stealth is only required until the time comes to commit to action. Suicidal assassins work. In the case of these assassins, distance and superhuman enhancements probably mean a shot can be taken and you can still escape, in an urban environment.

The 'lance from the heavens' immediately brought to mind ortillery. If I recall, the distance involved was a klick and a half or so, and to be 'from the heavens' would be a 30 to 45 degree angle above the ground, meaning one incredibly tall building. Much more likely, the energy beam was pretty close to being parallel to the ground, and I suspect the sniper had a limited field of fire.

So, the first assassin wasn't radioactive after being shot - what about the second? There was a geiger counter reference, I thought.

Also regarding the sniper/countersniper fight, I completely fail to see why Morgan had no support after a couple of minutes, and there is zero excuse for Morgan having no support when she closed with the second assassin. Aunt Ranma could have been there, her mother could have been there, her sister could have been there, her cousins could have been there, and a WIC helicopter could have been there (the latter at significant risk to itself, while Auntie Ranma is nigh on invulnerable to weapons of that scale). They _fly_ and can sense Morgan's location, allowing for easy tracking from altitude and even, if desires, while remaining a bit away to allow Morgan to do this herself.

Regarding the energy feed from Ranma to Eve, I had to re-read it twice to be certain that no, neither Ranma nor Eve was eating the corpse - this appears to me to be Ranma feeding Eve from Ranma's personal energy.store, and I assume that Eve's transformation was as undirected as Ranma's transformations when she feeds on higher level enemies, except the four pointed star. I do wonder if Ranma's going to be using exactly that as Matriarch of her branch of the family, or if her sister(s) will get slightly tailored variants.

Regarding Eve waking up back at WIC, my take on it was that apparently Ranma carried her sister and both nieces to WIC herself, which seems awkward and time consuming - a teleport would have made perfect sense. I just don't quite see how that much time passed without Eve being aware (or the audience being informed - poof, back at WIC, time passed).

Regarding horns and logical rational thought - it takes a special kind of person to indulge in purely logical, rational thought during moderately serious foreplay of any sort.

It's good to see Eve prove herself a good mother, similar to Ranma in protectiveness - after all, we saw Blacksky make a mistake with Alexia (and then another, letting Alexia live).

Ami thinking of surrender when she thought Ranma was showing up made sense... hopefully she had loudspeakers to broadcast it before the initial bombardment destroyed her?

I presume WIC is researching Ami's Dark Senshi toys? Well, the sex toys may have gone to the brood...

Usagi not wanting to see the corpse and corpse soup, and Ranma being disappointed by that, was well done. Usagi is very much not ready to play with the big girls. She's out of preschool, but still in kindergarten, wanting to do it the 'nice' way. I was fully expecting that Usagi would get Minako back, and lose someone else at the same time. Such is life.

I don't recall Ranma's tail thickening during previous dinners. I do recall, of course, her hair being more. I don't recall her mouth enlarging - that seems very strange, particularly if Eve still has a very pretty face - I didn't see it was particularly small before, so if her jaw enlarged, she's out of proportion now.

Eve kissing Ranma was nice.

Setsuna as a probable NH is entertaining - as Ranma's been all over Setsuna, one suspects Ranma knows.

Minako, of course, appears to be planted as a double agent both to Ami and to Setsuna, probably in favor of Usagi, possibly currently in favor of Ami, as what I assume to be the Moon Healing Crap failed on Ami, and thus can be assumed unreliable on Minako as well.

The bubbles as a defense was interesting - one suspects they're almost worthless against either a continuous beam or a high rate of fire, and definitely against an atmospherically propogated area of effect weapon (blasts, thermobaric weapons, etc.).

DarkStar Bursts as intelligence gathering is entertaining and sensible.

Suggestion: An appendix with a list of characters and a sentences or two about each. I, too, have a hard time remembering Morgan and Morrison's previous lives.