Magical Girls, Spacebattles Style

[AdmiralTigerclaw]

That's definately one thing that needs work. I actually progressed it from 'random greedy world takeover generics' to 'vengful greedy' generics... but I'm still at a lack of how to motivate these guys properly.

I certainly want these villains to be 'evil' in the sense of the term, but with some depth... Yet here's our issues.

- Villains must JUST NOW be getting around to their scheme. Either a recent trigger, or something.
- Villains must be a global threat. If they succede, mankind on Earth is forked as far as we're concerned.
- Villains must present a depth to them to go with their intelligence. Smart villains don't plot impossible things like World Domination when they could be living it up in Barbatos drinking Margaritas. And villains with survival instincts don't plot to make the Large Hadron Collider backfire and wipe out the Earth.

As they say, the story is about the heroes, but good villains make the story work.

So we need at least two entertaining named villains to be the bad guys. I'm rather partial to a crafty mastermind who puppets a psycho.

But anyway... we need to solve the answers to the following formula.


Our Villains, have [MOTIVATION] to want to do [SCENARIO X].
[SCENARIO X] will pretty much fork humanity over bigtime but will benifit our villains.
However, our Villains cannot institute [SCENARIO X] using conventional methods because humanity's military Will Fork them over... So they must use [DOOMSDAY PLAN Z] to handle it with one fell swoop.

Our Magical girls are the only direct threat to [DOOMSDAY PLAN Z], and thus, are being Eliminated.


So we need to idenfity Our [MOTIVATION], [SCENARIO X], and [DOOMSDAY PLAN Z]... the rest will fall into place so long as those mesh well.



Prefferably, linking [DOOMSDAY PLAN Z] to our Item of Great Power (our 'map') will complete the concept and make it mesh with the Magical Girl standard plot device bit where the supervillains are after the plot device to forward their plans.

So the question is... what kind of plan could use a mapping thingie capable of pinpointing every military unit on the planet, and then make use of that to deal a horrible blow to humanity without engaging in conventional confrontation they can't win?


For the notes, Nukes are overused plot devices. I'm banning them now.

[Comartemis]

- Villains must JUST NOW be getting around to their scheme. Either a recent trigger, or something.
- Villains must be a global threat. If they succede, mankind on Earth is forked as far as we're concerned.

These two can be linked. Villains are JUST NOW becoming a threat because they have JUST NOW acquired the ability to coordinate operations and strike at targets away from their primary power base in Antarctica (or wherever). Bonus points if their primary power base is located someplace that wouldn't be really forthcoming with information about mysterious deaths under suspicious circumstances, or places where that kind of thing is par for the course. North Korea for instance.

- Villains must present a depth to them to go with their intelligence. Smart villains don't plot impossible things like World Domination when they could be living it up in Barbatos drinking Margaritas. And villains with survival instincts don't plot to make the Large Hadron Collider backfire and wipe out the Earth.

So destroying the Earth is out. Are these guys connected in any way to the old factions from Sun Tzu's era or are they just local monsters like vampires or whatever? If they used to have some degree of control over the universe or even just the Milky Way they might plot to regain their former glory by conquering Earth and using it as a power base.

So the question is... what kind of plan could use a mapping thingie capable of pinpointing every military unit on the planet, and then make use of that to deal a horrible blow to humanity without engaging in conventional confrontation they can't win?

Well, without the ability to engage Earth's military forces there isn't much that simply knowing where everything is will do for them. At best once they unveil themselves they'll be able to see every single cruise missile, nuke, and ICBM that gets launched at their base the moment it lifts off... and be totally unable to do anything about them. My initial guess would be that they would want to hijack our nuclear stockpiles, but since that's out maybe they've found a way to hijack everything we have. That seems like it would be difficult to pull off though, unless you set this in something like a near-future scenario where everything is connected to the internet in some way.

But what if it isn't our military forces they're looking for?

Suppose Sun Tzu brought more than his bodyguards with him when he went on vacation as part of some kind of contingency plan? My immediate thought on this is something like an army of Personal Troopers, those 3-meter tall robots from Super Robot Wars OG Saga, but just about any war machine from Sun Tzu's era would probably work if the Valkyrie armor is anything to go by (the PTs have the semi-symbolical advantage of being a high-tech version of Emperor Qin's Terra-Cotta army). So somewhere on Earth there's an ancient weapon system of some sort that's powerful enough to be considered a doomsday weapon by 21st Century Earth standards. The bad guys know it's here somewhere but they don't know where, and they need the GPS thing to tell them where it is. Meanwhile, they need to keep the Earthlings from figuring out where it is, because if they ever discovered it they could reverse-engineer the technology in it to take a flying leap into an interstellar era of their own in a manner akin to Mass Effect.

The bad guys are hunting down Sun Tzu's descendants because they're genre savvy enough to realize that Tzu's descendants might keep trinkets like our GPS system around as heirlooms without realizing what they actually do. So part of their plan is to kill off the only people besides themselves who might be able to work the GPS thingy and keep the weapon system's location secret from the humans while also searching for the GPS thing themselves in places it would most likely be found. How's that for a running start?

[AdmiralTigerclaw]

Anyway, now that the site's gone hot again...

As I discussed with you over Spacebattles PM...

I could go with a Weather Pattern manipulation device.
Not precise weather control, but manipulation of general, large scale weather patterns. Something that would be useful if used correctly to do things like manipulate a monsoon season, or control the rate and intensity of cold fronts. Nothing that gives you the ability to spawn tornados, or any kind of Instant deadly weapon, but in the wrong hands, could result in the most horrifying series of perfect storms, and hurricane seasons the likes of which make you WISH they had it as a precise device.

Essentially, the way I would imagine it, is that out of control, produces Superstorms like that of 'The Day After Tomarrow' where pretty much all of modern society is royally shafted. For story purposes, that makes a good superweapon out of what is supposed to be some tool.

I've been reviewing a few Japanese mythical beasts... and I think America could do well to know monsters from other cultures. Vampires, Werewolves, and all that have been done to DEATH.

Let's see how people handle a Kappa, a Kitsune, and oni...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kappa_(folklore)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitsune
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oni_(folklore)

So I would work it like thus.

Our villains are broken up into casts... (Though, taking a time out here to point out HALO, it's not as severe as that.)

Kitsune are the leaders. Competent, cunning, and able to disguise themselves.
Physically the closest to human's in terms of reletive strength, but carry the most potent natural magic.

Kappa, too polite to take the leadership role away, often exploited, and they know it. Usually, they act as a front because while Kitsune are cunning, Kappa are polite to a fault and can be the perfect cover for any operation. They look human in public, though for the love of money, people can't figure out why certain people just refuse to take their hats off. In a fight, they're damn hard to hurt unless you know what you're against and what to go after.

Oni... (Ogres, Demons, Trolls... Pick your favorite) ... The dumb backbone of the group. Well, dumb reletive to Kitsune. But not Too Dumb To Live. These guys are tough, and where Kitsune are strategic thinkers, Oni are tactical thinkers. In a sense, they're like Marines. They like to get in, smash the F*CK out of enemies, and live to do it again. Getting killed on head-on rampages is rather detrimental to that.

For motivation, it could just be ages old disgruntled anger at the fact that humans have all but run the globe over, forcing them from what was 'rightfully' their homes. Revenge is a recognizable motivation and driving force of irrationally elaborate schemes, rather than base greed. And to tie in the Magical Girls... it was Sun Tsu who set things down the path to irrecoverable imbalance when he set his honor guard up... and taught humans on earth how to REALLY make war.
It's taken Kitsunes a lot of undercover work to get to a point where they have an operation... but the first task of the operation is to eliminate the most dangerous single combat opponents... the descendants of the Valkyrie... 'Magical Girls'.

A few things I could go for is at least one Kappa defecting to the Good Guys. These guys are polite. A lot of them think that trying to destroy humans or at least destroy their society and cripple their race is a poor option. But see defecting as extremely impolite to their current party... The defector could be the most impolite Kappa ever known. (Not rude mind you, but a black sheep of Kappa who manages to find a way around natural Kappa nature by talking himself into things by loopholing his way through the routines. (Example: Japanese custom is to bow..., which for a kappa is a weakness as it makes them spill the water on their head. Instead, this Kappa would worm his way into using salutes or handshakes to avoid bowing.)

Also... one Oni who will take a liking to WH 40k, and is often jamming on an electric guitar citing "I iz made 4 rokkin!" (Making an Ork Easter Egg without making a direct refference.)

Keep the thoughts flowing.

[Comartemis]

I could go with a Weather Pattern manipulation device.
Not precise weather control, but manipulation of general, large scale weather patterns. Something that would be useful if used correctly to do things like manipulate a monsoon season, or control the rate and intensity of cold fronts. Nothing that gives you the ability to spawn tornados, or any kind of Instant deadly weapon, but in the wrong hands, could result in the most horrifying series of perfect storms, and hurricane seasons the likes of which make you WISH they had it as a precise device.

Essentially, the way I would imagine it, is that out of control, produces Superstorms like that of 'The Day After Tomarrow' where pretty much all of modern society is royally shafted. For story purposes, that makes a good superweapon out of what is supposed to be some tool.

I maintain that a weather manipulation device is hardly "some tool", not to the degree that our glorified GPS device is.

I've been reviewing a few Japanese mythical beasts... and I think America could do well to know monsters from other cultures. Vampires, Werewolves, and all that have been done to DEATH.

*Stakes a Twilight vamp*

You mean to undeath.

*FLEES!*

Let's see how people handle a Kappa, a Kitsune, and oni...

Maybe this is just me being a jaded anime fan but the idea of a terrorist organization being headed by bog-standard kitsune does not inspire a great amount of terror in me. And there are much more terrifying things out there than oni. How about a yuki-onna? Yokai? Anyone feel like an facing the Orochi for a boss fight?

[Pale Wolf]

*Whistles* Looks like this idea seed has come quite a ways from its original genesis at the WAR forum - I presume CIA dude is no longer a cyborg with a hugeass gun?

Anyway, a few ideas I tossed in PM, so Tigerclaw has already seen 'em - this's mostly for the benefit of other forumgoers.

As I pointed out in PM (and ATC himself noted), the strategic display is hardly a map to a superweapon - it's a superweapon itself. Sure, the Darkies can't take on all the military forces of Earth in a straight fight... in a series of perfectly-timed ambushes, completely dictating the pace of every engagement and, for that matter, whether one even happens? Taking the military out in chunks? Easy.

But, of course, this may lack the climactic feel of a single superweapon strike. So, here's an alternate suggestion, based on Com's idea of Sun-Tzu's own equipment lying around.

Rather than the army of robots (side note: Personal Troopers are actually full-size mecha in most of their universes, I'm not quite sure on the in-universe reasons for the human-sized ones in Frontier since I haven't managed to play it yet), why not a ship?

A single functional spacecraft, if it gets up out and in orbit, is essentially the death-knell for any and all resistance. There's essentially no way to hit it, and, well, even a light utility ship from ATC's outlined society will probably have the thrust to drag a few asteroids into certain places. Depending on how pissy they are, they could essentially outright dictate whether they're gonna level the planet, or just soften up resistance.

Military ship or flagship would work too if you really wanted an orbital doom bombardment, but a light utility ship (or a garbage hauler...) would fit with the '... Wait, the superweapon we were using is what?!' theme you've got going.

One other thought regarding the villains. I'm not honestly scared by the Orochi, he's been used as an anime villain a whole lot more than kitsune have. Yuki-onna has some potential though. If the thought of a kitsune in charge doesn't scare ya, Com, why not use a magical girl?

If the enemy is led by, or at least using, one of the descendants, this explains a few things. #1, why they can operate the Sun Tzu technology. #2, getting rid of rivals, as you said. Plus, a highly trained, highly experienced, and fully magically powerful enemy makes for a rather useful 'final boss' (at this point I'm thinking 'would've been badass normal... except, has the magical girl powers too'). Not to mention it helps get you out of the trap of 'all the magical girls are inherently good guys'...

Which actually raises another question: Why are the Darkies only knocking off 12-16 girls? I can see the various stuff popping up only in women, but I'd think the descendants would kind of range in age a bit.

[AdmiralTigerclaw]

I'll answer the last question real quick and then brainstorm when I get home from work.

It's because the 12 to 16 demographic is where the ability to use the powers manifests. Any older, and it becomes too difficult for their bodies to become accustom to the abilities fast enough. And if they haven't shown any prowess in that, they likely weren't even trained.

And since I've still got time... I like that split off motivation.

I could work that one of the ones who split off when he disbanded the group was more than a little upset at being told 'go live a nice life on a primitive planet'... maybe said girl was disenchanted from some silly idea that she was a potential concubine or something. Now it's a love-hate revenge scenario, with the local monsters as chess pieces, and the world as the object of her scorn.

*Evil cackle.*

And of course, to make things worse, that particular girl is STILL ALIVE, and as a properly trained honor guard, and magically adept 'Magical Girl'. (Technically, she'd be a magical WOMAN or Sorceress at this point.)

And as a point, at the end of this desperate tale DON'T kill her.

[AdmiralTigerclaw]

Just had an epiphany reguarding the object the Girls will use to 'transform'. I was thinking about reletive character progression for the protagonists when I thought about what should go on during the hunt for the second of the three girls.

Something I thought of, is that our Jackson man could be searching the digital waves trying to figure out this weird signal.

Here's a breakdone of the where's and whys.

Shortly after picking up Natsuki, they board the plane home. Some time during takeoff, the captain will pop on to remind them that it's dangerous to have electronic devices active until he says so. Making it seem as if someone had one on. This will be the first 'hint'. But it will be subtle.


Then later 'jackson' will be talking to one of his [family/friends/associates/pick one] while Natsuki is in the same room. And out of the blue, his Cell phone will squawk 'jamming static' so loud he has to yank the phone back. It'll happen again later when he's doing something on a different device, like a wireless computer. By this time they will have discovered the 'transformation' trinket (which I haven't picked yet.) does more than just look cute. So he''ll keep it around for a quick study and discover it's Squawking a real short high power Radio/Microwave burst transmission.

When he inspects the signal, he discovers its acting like a transponder. It emits a burst of information in the form of a simple number string.

Anyway, move the plot up to our hunt for girl 2. They know it's talking, but they don't know what it's saying. Natsuki will have her falling out with Alex (following up on a plot point that Alex was supposed to kill her father, and that it's not personal just "Him doing his job." [Are 'they' just "doing their job" too!?] So Alex ends up with her run out for a while, so he'll go check on 'Jackson' Who's still trying to figure the squawk out. But now he's having problems with the squawk muddling up with a Ghost Echo.

After a few seconds watching the info relay, Alex notices the numbers aren't the same. That's not a ghost echo, that's not even an echo.

When they realize what that signal means, something else strikes 'jackson'.
"If we can pick it up..."
"...So can they."

Cue up the next major action-suspense fight.

So here's what the 'transformation trinkets' do.

Asside from act as a uniform storage, universal translator, and high power spare magic batteries, they're also health monitors and beacons.

The string of numbers they emit are 'Vitals'. (Blood Pressure, Body Temp, Heart BPM, etc.) Since they were made for a team of people to use, it helps them monitor each other and provide assistance. A way for them to subconciously know how they're all doing. Assuming they get a chance to synchronize. Which is what the echo response is about. The two active users are close enough to each other that the individual units are attempting to 'find' each other. And as they get closer, the squawks go from once every few hours, to intermittently every ten minutes.

It also provides a point of comedy in the middle of the dramatic action, they're trying to figure out how to shut the 'transponders' off.

What do you guys think?

[Comartemis]

I think you've been doing a lot of thinking about this and not letting us in on it. And here I thought this idea had died out.

It definitely fits with the idea of the girls being high-tech military since we're working on something similar for our boys on the ground. Don't suppose they provide some sort of HUD feature too, do they?

[AdmiralTigerclaw]

Not nearly as much thinking as you want to believe. I litterally had that idea in the space of fifteen minutes and decided to write it down. This topic isn't dead. I'm just busy knocking out chapters for MSLN Test Dummies and nobody responded to my last post.

I'm going to start writing the story fomatted version of MAGICAL GIRL as soon as I burn out on MSLN here...

Which means I also need to finalize names.

I have:


Natsuki __________ (I forgot if we gave her a family name or not.)

Alex __________

Samuel Jackson Guy: ___________ ___________

Katrina (Kat) __________

Girl B: (German) ________ __________

Girl C: ___________ __________

'Familiar' of Girl C (Parakeet) ________ (<---- Also, I'm thinking that he'd actually be a defecting enemy who was originally ratting her out. But changed his mind. )

For villains, I have at least two named Kitsune, and one named Kappa to go with a couple other unnamed Kitsune and Kappa, and a plethora of 'Spec-Ops' Oni. With at least one named Oni commander. (Oni commander is going to be 'cool' by the way. He's always business and looking out for his 'men'. I'm planning to make the villains at least likeable. I want people to side against them because of their goals, rather than their character traits. Save for one of my named Kitsune who will be marked to get his comupance.)

[AdmiralTigerclaw]

Minor update:

New Music Track:

Title: Learning Curve

LINK: http://www.sheezyart.com/art/view/2197023/


Purpose: Magical Girl picks up martial arts skills in three minutes flat.

"I... I know kung fu."

"Actually, it's Jiujitsu."

[Comartemis]

Sounds like something straight off of a soundtrack. Excellent work, Tiger.

[AdmiralTigerclaw]

Good. I'm thinking it still might be missing... something. Don't know what yet.

Anyway, any luck with names?

I collected a whole list of names the other day just reading the last names off credit cards as I ran them at work.

Nothing really stuck in my head for a main character last name, but having a set of names may go for some side characters.

Here's the list:
Aubin
Cornelius
Stradtuer
Bubela
Meyers
Norman
Young
Hagood
Barbour
Eggeling
Derr
Robinson
Kollars
Kluck
Beaubien
Segura
Powell
Warren
Richter
Escalante
Eschy
Morris
Root
Mace
Nelson
Miller
Franklin
Lahti
Rogers
Tebbe
Swynerberg
Ciroto
Cornel
Langenegger
Sommerfield
Kelly
Perna
Taylor
Koch
Price
Woods
Goch
Wolf
Tuffent
Cargill
Cumberledge
Parlato
Blaylock
Ringstaff
Woods
Enis
Rodurthi


I did get an idea for the president's daughter.

How does 'Lisa Wilson' sound to you? Got the first name from a credit card, and you can guess who I'm thinking of when I'm thinking of a presidential family with the 'Wilson' name.

[AdmiralTigerclaw]

Well, I got names down today, and you guys more or less should like this mess.

Our six main characters are:

Natsuki Hayashi (Our lead magical girl.)
Marlena Calyn Rothaarige (Our 'Asuka' clone. Her name means 'Tall Chatterbox Redhead'. Which is a bit of a joke because she's SHORT.)
Lisa Michelle Wilson (She's the daughter of the President of the GREAT UNITED STATES!)

Alexander Victor Edwards (Our Hero...)
Lock Henry Rockwell (Samuel Jackson. The name is a play unto Lockheed-Martin, and Rockwell. Both companies that make awesome planes. 'Lock H. Rockwell')
Katrina Lowell Aston (Aside from 'Katrina' being Minako's British friend in Sailor Moon/Sailor V, Lowell means 'Beloved'. And Aston means 'eastern town'. Both of which are hints to Minako.)


I'd also like to welcome 'Slade' onboard the team. He jumped in head first yesterday and started a conversation, and now he's our character designer... and DaaaameE! I've not seen anyone sketch this kind of quality, this fast, short of proffessionals. He will be a big asset to the project.

[AdmiralTigerclaw]

Update:

MAGICAL GIRL OST SUITE ONE:
Journey to Destiny
http://www.sheezyart.com/art/view/2199947/

[AdmiralTigerclaw]

Quick update... For the first story, I've hashed out a basic plot map made of keywords:


Prologue: Monster Attack?!


Act I: Finding Natsuki
- DPA
- Connect the Dots
- Epiphany over Chereos
- Lost in Mishima
- Oni Ambush
- Post battle

Act II: Finding ‘Melly’/ Natsuki Learns
- She’s just a kid.
- Tokyo Tower: Center of the Universe?
- Berlin
- Not Echoes
- Lightning Race to Bradenburger Gate
- Off the Trail

Act III: The President’s Daughter
- Timetable
- Birds of a feather
- The third child
- Murphy’s Law
- The Battle of Harvard
- Magical Girl

Epilogue: Code-name Ribbon One. Missions are just getting started.